Tuesday started like an ordinary working day for Cyclone. Little was she to know that a chance meeting with an old friend would not only change her life, but giver a new lease on it. Is Manehatten ready for Cyclone?
This chapter was really heavy. Really emotional, it added a lot more depth to Cyclone. I'm honestly impressed with you and your co-writer. This has become one of my favorite AB/DL Pony stories.
I like the reveal of Cyclone's past and the heavy emotional chat with her father.
But there is one thing that's does bother me: the references to the real world like Thomas the Tank Engine and this particular passage from the previous chapter: " Dodge Vipers line up alongside Aston Martins and BMW". It honestly makes me wonder if this Equestria is linked to Earth if those items are present in Equestria.
8515375 Thanks for picking up the typo's my friend, I appreciate it. Now, why we included the Thomas the Tank Engine, as well as references to vipers, Astons and BMW's. in the case of Thomas, it's a cute thing for foal Cyclone to like. In the case of the cars, we chose the makes we did because we thought they were incongruous and not 'earth' specific. Plus, they're kinda familiar, so we don't have to waste words explaining to the reader what they are.
8514635 Thank you, mate! I'm sure your sweet comment will make Zervon Tora happy. In terms of adding the depth, we really wanted Cy to be a fully fleshed out character. There is a companion story to this one, called "No Place Like Home", that details Monsoon's last moments.
This chapter was really heavy. Really emotional, it added a lot more depth to Cyclone. I'm honestly impressed with you and your co-writer. This has become one of my favorite AB/DL Pony stories.
I detected two minor typos at the end:
- "dam"
- "seeing"
I like the reveal of Cyclone's past and the heavy emotional chat with her father.
But there is one thing that's does bother me: the references to the real world like Thomas the Tank Engine and this particular passage from the previous chapter: " Dodge Vipers line up alongside Aston Martins and BMW". It honestly makes me wonder if this Equestria is linked to Earth if those items are present in Equestria.
8515375
Thanks for picking up the typo's my friend, I appreciate it. Now, why we included the Thomas the Tank Engine, as well as references to vipers, Astons and BMW's. in the case of Thomas, it's a cute thing for foal Cyclone to like. In the case of the cars, we chose the makes we did because we thought they were incongruous and not 'earth' specific. Plus, they're kinda familiar, so we don't have to waste words explaining to the reader what they are.
8514635
Thank you, mate! I'm sure your sweet comment will make Zervon Tora happy. In terms of adding the depth, we really wanted Cy to be a fully fleshed out character. There is a companion story to this one, called "No Place Like Home", that details Monsoon's last moments.