The Death of an Author

by Nugget

Death to the Author's Fluff

From the personal journal of Pen Name.

Two weeks later...

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“Fluff - Unnecessary words and phrases used within a narrative” - Pen Name

Let me just ask this question;

Don’t you just hate fluff?

Don’t you just hate it when you’re looking at an sentance, wondering what the buck the author just wrote into their narrative? Don’t you wish they simplified it? You know, cutting down on all the unnecessary words, thus directly telling you, the reader, what they meant to write?

I mean, I think it would make our lives a bit easier! For example, “Twilight Sparkle hastily galloped down the white, stone path, in the direction of the convenient store” could easily be simplified to “Twilight galloped down the gravel road, heading to the store.” Sure it might eliminate some details, but let's assume we already know the basic surroundings within the story. Now, with that fact in mind, wouldn’t the extra details within the sentence be deemed redundant or unnecessary?

You tell me, but I, the writer, am not going to stress over every single detail within a story. I have, well, a story to narrate! Wouldn’t you absolutely hate somebody’s writing if all they ever did was talk about details within their narrative? To which, they never, at any point in the near future of the story, actually getting down to the action or plot within the story itself?

Wouldn’t that just make you bored of the narrative?

It would, to me at least.

I could usually hear my readers saying, “Oh, come on! Stop talking about Twilight’s stupid castle already! Can we please just move along?!”

Sure! I agree! I don’t want to bog you down with so much exposition that you begin to either skim over what I’m writing or sing a song about what the heck I, the writer, am really doing in the narrative. “It’s an exposition dump! We get it!” you would scream.

…

Yeah, and I hate them too. You know what’s an easy solution to that problem? It’s simple, tie your action into the details. Like I said before, “Twilight galloped down the gravel road, heading to the store,” is a good example of this. It provides an action while also describing the world around her, or in this case, the road.

It keeps the reader’s attention as well. There's action going on, but yet they’re also learning about more details within the world the story encompasses. To me, it’s the perfect way to blend information with exposition.

In the end, it could also cut down on the number of sentences written into the narrative as well. “The blue dresser laid just across the bedroom. Twilight rolled her eyes, getting out of her bed and walking over to it” could be changed to “Twilight rolled her eyes, got off her bed, and strolled to her dresser, located just across her bedroom.”

See! I was able to write two different sentences into one! It’s not that hard!

Gah!

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One week later…

My head is on my desk right now.

I know, in an earlier journal entry, that I talked about how much I love to eliminate fluff. I love to get rid of it as much as I possibly can within the narrative of my stories. I hate it to the core! Fluff is like my second worst enemy, right behind poor grammar.

I spend hours, almost days, in my office editing out as much fluff I can from the stories submitted to me. I do, within my certain rights and privileges, everything I can to get rid of unnecessary words, sentences, and phrases within the works I get to handle and edit. I get to, figuratively speaking, go to war with words, killing off or changing around all the futile ones! Ha ha ha!

However, as per my job as well, I get feedback on my editing work. While it’s mostly positive, I can’t help but slam my head against the desk every single time I hear this phrase, “I can tell by your work that you aren’t a native Equestrian speaker. You definitely need to get a native speaker to really help you out with the grammar.”

What the buck is that supposed to mean?

First off, screw you for thinking I’m not a native Equestrian speaker! What kind of criticism is that? Does that mean I can’t speak my own language correctly? As far as I’m aware, I can speak it however I like!

Writing it is another challenge, however.

Like I said, I hate fluff! I hate it when words such as “that,” “those,” “said,” “very,” or “much” are used within a sentence. However, those words are often used when Equestrian is being spoken, not written. So if I was to say and write, “Twilight told me that the mare, in the corner of the room, did the crime,” and then turn around and actually write, “Twilight told me the mare, in the corner of the room, did the crime,” that I’m suddenly not a native speaker anymore?!

Am I making any sense out this? Or have I gone completely nuts here? At this point, I’m starting to think I’ve gone crazy.

Apparently, I’m not a native speaker anymore when I change “Twilight knew that her friend wasn’t up to par with their magic” to “Twilight knew her friend wasn’t up to par with their magic.” Eeyup! One word! One little word, and suddenly they think Equestrian is my second language!

Gah!

Why can’t ponies just tell me these things? I mean, it would make my life much easier to know that one simple change will drastically shift the viewpoint of my writing. But, no! They will continue to say “I’m not a native speaker” before continuing on their merry way. Why should they care? It’s their opinion, so obviously they don’t have the time to explain it. They’re too busy doing other things more important than looking over my work!

Gah!

I need a shot of whiskey right about now.