Wow I gotta say this is a real improvement ^^

8300301
That means a lot because I thought this one wasn't as well done as the others

that escalated extra fast.

i dont know how to feel about this.

I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life.

Wheeeeeeeeeeew... that went places...
...
.To be honest... it was quite a stinkin' mess of a read. Might have given other people a gas, but to others, it probably pissed them off

But hey, it was written well, so good job on that

So I read this despite it being fetish fuel of... stuff that isn't my fetish. That's on me.

But this writing, man...

It was just... so plain. So boring. Very rushed. I don't wanna insult you, but this was really bland. Put a little color into it, iron out some details, add a bit of emotion, and, most importantly, refrain from the bolded sound effects, and this might have at least made me feel disgusted or something.

Sorry, pal.

8300916
Well, it would be either boring or disgusting to anyone without the fetishes. Or who doesn't find them funny.

8300757
You're too kind. I'm horrible at writing. (I know the second paragraph was a bunch of jokes and puns)

8300728
Understandable. My fetish fantasies are pretty dark, even I get very uncomfortable about them sometimes. Before embracing them (mostly), I considered castration

8300946

I've read plenty of stuff that's not my fetish, but because of how engaging it was, at least felt something.

8300953
Understood. In the future you might want to avoid my stories because they are all like this

8300949
I tend to be sometimes, hehehe. But hey, 8300916 gave some really good advice. Follow that, and I bet your next story will be really good.

8301031
Yeah, I got advice like that a long time ago but I haven't really been able to improve my writing since the second story

I guess one thing is that I don't like the stories that take too long to get to the fetish fuel, so I like to get to the point more quickly.

8301381
You'll improve, no worries about that. Some people like it when it's short and gets to the point, other people like a bit of story added in to spice things up and give it some flavor.

And like Joker said, like... next time, maybe stretch out the story a bit, don't rush into it or anything and just... play it out a little. Do it as a test, post it, and see what happens, who knows?

8301392
Well, I just got another request, which might be hard to write anything non-fetish fuel without it being too irrelevant. It might take a few days before I write this, both from having other stuff to do and my fetish side being exhausted for the time being

8301442
Perfectly understandable, just trying to help out is all.
Well, I gotta run, so I wish you luck on future fics friend <3

8301464
When you get back: Maybe a little advice on what kind of non-fetish scenes/content to put in there?

I misread this several times as "Rarity's sweet smile". I think my brain wanted to protect me or something I read it because I was really confused at how smiling went with watersports, but now I regret it a bit. That's on me, though, I read a fix for a fetish that wasn't mine. However, constructive criticism, your writing seems rushed, and not very detailed, try work on that and I feel like you'd get a lot more positive feedback.

memestatic.fjcdn.com/pictures/Witches_80a6f1_6188906.jpg

8301472

When you get back: Maybe a little advice on what kind of non-fetish scenes/content to put in there?

Well, it's okay to write fetish fuel, nothing wrong with that at all. but like many have said, you're lacking detail in what you write. So you need to work on that.

The most I can offer you in terms of what you could add, is more detail. Show us what the characters are feeling, give us a reason to read this stuff and get invested with the characters. Show us some detail with what they do, how they do it, but not too much. You can show and tell us so much with few words if you string it all together right.

I'm not expert on helping people, but I manage. Check out Author's help groups on Fimfiction, maybe even check out the Discord chat the site has and go to the NSFW Writing Help channel for more help regarding this.