After an awkward admission of her feelings and many intimate encounters, Sunny wants to take their relationship to new heights but those heights may come with a price. Can Sunny and Twi reach the next level and avoid paying the price?
8332778 You're also having trouble making the story make any sense at all. thsi was the most confusing chapter i read yet. What happen to you, you used to be able to write a decent chapter not this confusing stuff that hard to follow. Reading from the pov in this chapter gives me a HEADACHE...groans.
8332941 Sorry 'bout that. I was trying something a tad different and I guess I couldn't make it stick. I'll figure something out. Maybe make it a stand alone story. Keep an eye out for a blog about what I decide.
8332941 Actually, I understood this chapter perfectly. Twilight and Starlight went to help EqG Twilight. On their way to the mirror, EqG Applejack & Rainbow Dash revealed themselves in order to make sure the portal stays open. I am going to assume that the purple blur that hit Rainbow was Spike. Starlight gets free and make a run for the portal, tackling Rainbow through with her. Demon Shimmer uses her powers to take control of the rest of the HuMane Seven. Rarity gets taken control of and Starlight grabs Fluttershy and runs and hide. They get a message to Twilight, who replies with a plan of their own. Fluttershy and Starlight get caught and Demon Sunset tried to take control of them. She hits Fluttershy but the magic stealer from Friendship Games saves her (which I wonder where the hell they got it from?). Starlight escapes and tries to get to Midnight Sparkle, who already sent Demon Shimmer through one of her rifts. Rainbow wakes up and comes to her senses and saves Starlight from Pinkie. Starlight then uses the absorber to free Rarity of her possession. Rainbow is given the magic snatcher so she could free her friends while Starlight grabs a hold of Midnight Sparkle leg and is taken back to Equestria, where Princess Twilight saves her after she slips off Midnight Sparkles leg. They wonder what is taking Celestia and Luna so long when a golden light appears and then they here "Houston Twilight, we have a problem."
If I wrong, and this isn't what went down, I'm just as lost as you.
8333629 I understood what was going on after reading over and over, just the first person view point made it hard to read. and felt too fast paced and jumping from oen spot to another in a weird way from the POV. Also POV I think should be for a short scene or paragraph not the entire chapter or story.
8333962 Hard to tell think it because ti a action scene. Not a drama or slice of life scene, it works better in those settings. It's a action scene that it becomes....errr confusing and over welming.
Why is this on hiatus?
8332734 I was having creative issues and forgot to update the status back to "incomplete" before publishing.
8332778
You're also having trouble making the story make any sense at all.
thsi was the most confusing chapter i read yet.
What happen to you, you used to be able to write a decent chapter not this confusing stuff that hard to follow.
Reading from the pov in this chapter gives me a HEADACHE...groans.
8332941 Sorry 'bout that. I was trying something a tad different and I guess I couldn't make it stick. I'll figure something out. Maybe make it a stand alone story. Keep an eye out for a blog about what I decide.
8332941
Actually, I understood this chapter perfectly.
Twilight and Starlight went to help EqG Twilight. On their way to the mirror, EqG Applejack & Rainbow Dash revealed themselves in order to make sure the portal stays open. I am going to assume that the purple blur that hit Rainbow was Spike. Starlight gets free and make a run for the portal, tackling Rainbow through with her. Demon Shimmer uses her powers to take control of the rest of the HuMane Seven. Rarity gets taken control of and Starlight grabs Fluttershy and runs and hide. They get a message to Twilight, who replies with a plan of their own. Fluttershy and Starlight get caught and Demon Sunset tried to take control of them. She hits Fluttershy but the magic stealer from Friendship Games saves her (which I wonder where the hell they got it from?). Starlight escapes and tries to get to Midnight Sparkle, who already sent Demon Shimmer through one of her rifts. Rainbow wakes up and comes to her senses and saves Starlight from Pinkie. Starlight then uses the absorber to free Rarity of her possession. Rainbow is given the magic snatcher so she could free her friends while Starlight grabs a hold of Midnight Sparkle leg and is taken back to Equestria, where Princess Twilight saves her after she slips off Midnight Sparkles leg. They wonder what is taking Celestia and Luna so long when a golden light appears and then they here "
HoustonTwilight, we have a problem."If I wrong, and this isn't what went down, I'm just as lost as you.
8333629 Okay, so maybe the chapter wasn't a total loss then.
8333629
I understood what was going on after reading over and over, just the first person view point made it hard to read.
and felt too fast paced and jumping from oen spot to another in a weird way from the POV.
Also POV I think should be for a short scene or paragraph not the entire chapter or story.
8333887 No offense to your opinion except for two (soon to be three) of my stories have all been 1st person POV.
8333962
Hard to tell think it because ti a action scene. Not a drama or slice of life scene, it works better in those settings.
It's a action scene that it becomes....errr confusing and over welming.