Best of Friends?

by Wonderbolt Writer

Chapter 1: The Rock In My Eye

Discord floated through the air, following Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, I just had the greatest idea! Why don't I not meet her and we both just say that I did? Nopony will ever know..."

"Discord..." Pinkie said, turning around. "it's obvious the two of you have lots and lots of tension between you ever since 'that day'."

She flipped back around and continued bouncing down the path. "And everypony knows that the best way to melt away all that stressful, sobbing softly into your pillow at night tension is to do it face to face!"

"Oh please," Discord narrowed his eyes at her. "I don't sleep on a pillow much less cry into one at night. And there is no 'tension' between us. Honestly if it wasn't for Fluttershy I wouldn't even have come all the way out here at all."

"Okeedokee, we're here!" Pinkie plopped down onto an outstretched blanket underneath a tree. "Now all we gotta do is wait and then we can get the healing started!"

"Ugh, I'd rather not do the waiting...or any of this. Just give me a minute." Discord floated slowly upward and cupped both hands around his eyeballs like looking through binoculars. "Hmm, now where could you be." His gaze shifted all around in his search. "This shouldn't be too difficult. Aha, there she is! Target is in sight..." In contrast to his words he closed both of his eyes. "...prepping for teleportation. Hold onto to your hooves this could get messy!"

A quick snap and bright flash of light later and the deed had been done. Before the both of them now stood Pinkie Pie's older sister Maud Pie. The sudden change of scenery didn't seem to be bothering her as her expression remained unfazed in the slightest.

Pinkie bounded over to her sibling, wrapping her hooves around her noggin'. "Maud? Maud?! Are you okay?" She turned to the Draconequus, her expression one of discontent. "Discord, look what you've done. Poor Maud is traumatized half out of her mind! There, there Maud. Shh...shh...Pinkie's here, it'll be okay."

Finally the elder Pie sister spoke in her usual monotone manner. "Thank you Pinkie. I'm fine now." She held up her hoof revealing a small stone atop it. "There, there Boulder. Mama Maud is here...it will be okay." She said as she gave the rock several soft strokes with her hoof.

Discord's eyes narrowed. "Riiight, well it has been loads of fun. But sadly I must be going-"

"Bad Discord, stay!" Pinkie scolded.

"Yes, stay." Maud said. "It's the least you should do after putting Boulder through that traumatic experience."

Suddenly Boulder himself piped up in a shrill little voice. "Oh that's alright. I'm okaaay, I think Discord shouldn't waste anymore of his valuable time here."

"See!" Discord said. "He's doing just fine. Now if you'll ex-"

"Boulder doesn't sound like that." Maud deadpanned.

"Pardon?"

"I said, Boulder doesn't sound like that. It was obviously you doing that voice, Discord."

Discord gasped in shock. "Me? W-why that is absolutely the most..." He had planned on denying it but after gazing for two seconds into Maud's no-nonsense blank face of a stare - he caved. "Oh fine, but talking rocks aside, don't you think the reason why Pinkie Pie asked you to come all the way out here is completely ridiculous?"

"No, I don't. But it seems like you're in denial Discord."

"I'm not in denial! There's no tension between the two of us. I said some things and you replied that I was 'the most basic of jokes'. End of story. Certainly nothing to get upset about right?"

"Then why are you so worked up?" With those simple words Maud had brought attention to the chaos lord's uplifted arms, raised high into the air as if poised to strike at his enemy. Not to mention the crazed look crawling around in his peepers.

"Now now..." Pinkie said almost sounding like Fluttershy. "What Maud said was just a joke. She didn't mean to hurt your feelings." As she went on her hooves found their way onto his body and gently massaged away all tension until he collapsed in a blissful state of relaxation.

"I apologize Discord," said Maud. "my actions as Pinkie said were all in good fun. I did not mean to, but am sorry to have, hurt your feelings."

"Awwww, isn't Maud just the cutest at apologizing?" Pinkie melted right into an embrace with her big Sis in a display of cuteness that could almost make Discord swoon - almost.

"Okay, fine, apology accepted. And I'm sorry for suddenly teleporting you. Now are we done with all of this?" Discord grinned, twiddling his thumbs and hoping beyond all hope that this would indeed close the case on the matter.

"See, that wasn't so bad." Pinkie produced two scrolls from within her Pink cotton-poof of a mane. "Buuuuut, to really seal the deal I've made a list of places and activities for you two to do together. You know, to really strengthen your bond with each other!"

She gave the parchments to Discord. "Now this first one is jam-packed with Pinkie certified super fun activities! And the second is all the stuff that wouldn't be so exciting. And definitely not Pinkie approved. So just stick with scroll numero uno and you'll have the best time ever guaranteed!"

He picked the Pink pony up by her tail pulling her up to talk face to face. "So just like that you expect me to spend the rest of my day just galavanting around Ponyville with your Sister?"

Pinkie playfully booped him on the nose. "Not just Ponyville silly! I mean you are Discord - Lord of Chaos. Just look at the lists. Okay have fun, bye!" Almost as through some magic force of her own she slipped right through his iron grasp and had dashed away at what seemed like near sonic rainboom speeds. Leaving just the two of them alone.

How had he gotten himself into this? Maud stared blankly at him, not saying a word. Just lightly inhaling and exhaling through her nostrils. He looked at her then at the lists clutched tightly in both his hands. Then back at her, then slowly back at the pieces of paper. Was he really going to do this?

But if he didn't he'd never hear the end of it. Not to mention Fluttershy would be mad.

"Yes." she spoke up breaking through the silence.

"Yes what?" he asked back.

"You can take my picture. It will certainly last longer than those cutesy little looks you've been shooting at me."

Discord's face turned redder than Big Mac's coat color. "W-w-what? A-are you-"

"Relax, I'm just kidding. Couldn't you, the 'king of jokes' tell?"

"Well uh, actually no." Discord cleared his throat. "So...I guess I'll just take a looksy at the lists and see what we've got." Changing the subject was just fine as anything was more comforting to him than going off that last bit of conversation they'd just had.

"So on the list of things not to do we have - 1: Don't visit Tartarus. 2: Don't go to the Mirror Pool. 3: Don't go to the Everfree forest and the most important one of all 4: Don't repeatedly poke Princess Luna in the flank with a stick. Okaaaaaay, I'd say that last one goes without saying."

He unfurled the second list. "1: Go to Sugar Cube Corner. 2: Ma-"

Maud plugged his pie-hole with her hoof. "You know it'd be more of a surprise if we just did them one at a time before reading the next one."

Discord took a step back to remove her hoof from his mouth. "Quite right and well, it all is doable. I can take on all this without breaking a sweat."

Maud set a hoof to her jaw, almost deep in thought. "But we won't be doing any of those things on Pinkie's do-not-do list Discord. ...Mostly, I've always wanted to see the Mi-"

"Mirror Pool, gotcha!" Before she knew it Discord had finished her sentence and already teleported them to the locale.

"Actually..." Maud takes in her new surroundings, changing absolutely nothing in her facial expression. "It's not so much the Pool as it is what surrounds it."

Rocks! It had to be rocks! No, she couldn't possibly be interested in a magical splishy-splashy puddle of water that can perform the amazing task of duplicating an entire Pony! Nuh-uh she wanted to spend her time staring at those darn cave walls. To Discord that was even one step below watching paint dry on the fun/chaos meter.

"No way, no how." he said. "If we are going to spend this day together you should know how much I loathe the mundane. So I'm dreadfully sorry, truly I am. But that includes rocks of all kinds and all sorts!"

Maud did not respond, only choosing to sit and stare blankly at him. Was she mad? Furious even? Given her static expression for all he knew she was about to unleash an unholy wrath upon him.

"Fine..." she stated calmly. "For Pinkie's sake I won't mention rocks with you. So what happened? Were you struck by a rock as a child?"

"W-what are you talking about!?"

"Well for you to have such disdain for rocks like that you must have been through quite the traumatic experience with one."

Discord gave a forced smile. "Yeah, a rock stole my sweet roll as a child. And it left me oh so...ARE YOU KIDDING ME! Of course nothing happened between me and a pile of rocks! Sheesh."

Maud shot a look to boulder before rolling her eyes. "Alright, calm down. I won't ask anymore if it upsets you that much. So I guess I'll just leave your rocky history alone. ...That was a pun."

Discord feigned fainting, falling to the ground in a rather convincing manner. "Uh her jokes are unbearable. And even they are rock based!" he thought. Recovering from the blow he rose up. "Besides why focus on rocks when there is so much more interesting things around here like oh I don't no. The Mirror Pool itself perhaps!"

He walked over to it looking down at his reflection. "And did you know that this particular pond is connected to..." He paused for dramatic effect leaning in until he was only mere inches away from Maud. "...Nightmare Moon!"

She shook her head slowly. "I had no idea. But did you know..." Maud walked over to the edge of the pond and began calmly tracing her hoof along it's border. Cocking her head to the side and leering at him with only one eye she speaks. "...That this, is my Mirror Pool?"

"Your Mirror Pool?" Discord echoed.

"Yes, mine. I made it."

"Okay now I know you're crazy. Because before I wasn't entirely sure. But I know for a fact that this is not your Mirror Pool."

"Yes it is."

Discord slightly tensed his form in frustration. "No it's not. It isn't even possible!"

Maud placed boulder on her head. "We have a non-believer here." she said, addressing the stone. "He says it isn't possible, how would he know?"

"Because I was there when it all happened!" The Spirit of Chaos through his arms to the air, waving them frantically about.

"Funny. I don't remember you being there." Maud glanced at her pet 'riding' upon her noggin. "Do you Boulder?"

"Don't ask the pebble! I may have been encased in stone at the time but I could still see things!" With himself nearly about to go into conniptions over the matter he struggled to contain his outbursts. "Find a happy place. Find a happy place. Tea with Fluttershy. Her hugs, cuddles, sweet naps in the meadow." The calming thoughts worked well enough. He didn't feel so much like tearing a rift betwixt dimensions and hurdling her butt through it anymore.

Able to talk peaceably again he tried explaining. "Look, this pool was here before even Nightmare Moon. She corrupted it with dark magic and used it to make her own army of followers. That was over a thousand moons ago and you my dear are not that old. But kudos' to you if you are, cause you look greeaat!"

"Interesting." The Pie sister said. "I had no idea. Kinda like you had no idea I was just messing with you. I apologize again."

A deathly silence filled the air. He had no idea what her thoughts were but he himself found his mind wandering back to that whole tossing her rock-loving rear end straight to the other side of some portal idea of his. Only now the destination he had in mind changed to something much, much worse. The anger within was building more and more. But then, he realized something. They shared a common thread.

Despite her monotone voice and many expressionless expressions she shared with the world he now saw something. She obviously found some humor messing with him. And that was certainly a fact that he could appreciate.

"Hey, Maud?"

"Yes, Discord?"

"I...I'm sorry." He looked her way. Her appearance was unchanged but somehow he thought he could tell she was surprised at his remorse. "I overreacted, so I apologize. I g-guess I should be able to take a joke better than that. ...Are you mad?" He still couldn't tell.

"No, I'm not mad. I am tougher than you think. I guess I'm like a rock, that you thought you could easily break. But then, it turns out, you couldn't."

"Hahahahaha!" He couldn't keep himself laughing and doubling over because of it.

Then he paused in pure shock as she actually joined in. "Ha-ha-ha-ha."

Even her laugh was a slow monotone one with her expression giving only the smallest hint of a smile.

That right there only made him laugh all the harder until he was on the ground, limbs flailing about with amusement.

After about ten seconds went by of them both laughing he strained to speak through it all. "O-kay, s-s-stop. I can't take i-it anymore!" He was starting to feel the pains of one who has laughed too hard.

She quieted down giving him leeway to do the same. "I thought you'd find that funny."

Wiping away the tears from his face he stood beside her and placed a paw on her back. "Ha-ha, you know Maud, I haven't laughed like that in years! This day out could actually end up being not so bad."

She nodded. "Sugar Cube Corner was first on her list."

"Right, right, of course." he said. "But you know. I wonder what would happen if we both went into the Mirror Pool."

She need only give a look.

He removed his paw from her. "Haha, don't worry I'm just kidding...sorta."

Author's Note:

And I'd like to thank deviantartist petirep for graciously providing the cover art! :)

Comments

[Wonderbolt Writer]

8171072 Let me congratulate you good Sir on being my first comment ever! (on this site) So, thank you. And I hope the following chapters will please you, though I can tell you they'll be more err...random than this first one.

[General_Rommel]

YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO ROMANE OR SHIP FIC STORIES!!!!
YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Wonderbolt Writer]

8171997 XD

[Stonecrop Sedum]

This is great.

[Wonderbolt Writer]

8172220 Thanks, glad you think so!