Sands of Time

by Amaranthine Thought

Chapter 16

I have started writing the tale on my walls. My own, but also that of the ponies.

I want that the true tale survives the ages, even if it does so only within my den.

It is difficult, however. Mirage grants me some insight, but if I truly want to record this tale, I shall have to learn it from the ponies first. Princess, Commander, Chancellor, Clover, Smart, and… Private, wasn't it? I’m fairly sure it was, should all be consulted before I can complete this task.

I’ve not heard of anything that’s happened between the unicorns, pegasi, and the earth ponies. That is not surprising, as I am currently avoiding them.

This time is historic. This time determines the shape of the times to come.

If I were to interfere, the future might change.

My present and past, their future, might change.

I must avoid them, lest I find my life rewritten. That too, is another thing I know without knowing why, but that knowledge is embedded in me as though carved into my very bones. Time is stable, but if I were to influence a historic time, then the ripples would change everything ahead of them.

Leading to me becoming what I can only know as ‘timelost’, a fate I dread despite my ignorance of its meaning.

So I remain within my den and ensure I do not near them, waiting for the day that they remember me on their own, and come here, which should only happen once all the important parts are set in stone.

And I do recall Smart. I’ve not forgotten her, nor abandoned her that day.

I gave her a place with me, but she has a true place for herself. I offered her my strength, but she had to find her own again. Which was why I encouraged her to face her own troubles, and encouraged her to face her own hates and fears of unicorns. When the time came to battle, I heard the renewal of her strength in her voice. When Chancellor apologized to her, I heard her desire to return to where she truly belongs: by Chancellor’s side. Just as Clover went to her place by Princess, Smart returned to her own.

I know she is alright now. I just know she is once more in her true place, as Chancellor’s ‘best pony’, keeping the eccentric mare company and maybe starting to realize just how wise Chancellor really is underneath all that weird behavior.

I’ve reclaimed the life I once lived with Mirage and the girls. In some ways, it is as though nothing truly changed, though I now spend far more time with them than I once had.

However, despite all that is good, there is something yet that troubles me, and greatly so.

I find myself still unable to stop time. Still unable to use the power that had always been within me. I had, at first, hoped it to be an effect of the collar, but I soon remembered the first time it failed me; when I first encountered Commander Hurricane. The collar has not done this to me, and that leaves me lost as to what has.

The power is still within me. I can feel its gentle beat, just like I once did so long ago in stone. But though I’ve tried, I’ve yet to rediscover how I once used it. It was once so automatic that it has left me no real clue as to how I once stopped time nor travelled the ages.

I’ve not told Mirage nor the girls about this trouble. The last thing I want is for them to fear that they might never return to their true time.

I worry every day for the time when they ask me to return them, and they finally discover that I cannot. I can hear the girls making plans for their return, speaking of all the things they’ll say and do. They have grown weary of this time, and want to return to their homes and families; they just haven’t told me that yet.

---

“Kitty, Kitty, wake up!” I hear in a soft, but urgent whisper. It is Mirage, I know, but her tone lacks fear, so I wake slowly, wondering why she is disturbing me.

Just yesterday, the girls had wanted to try staying up, to see what they told me was called ‘the frog song’. Apparently, the frogs in froggy bottom like to ‘sing’ when the moon was new and the fireflies crowd their little lake.

The girls really wanted to see it, so I decided to treat them and did so. It was fun, certainly, and interesting; the frogs really do seem to sing. However, we got back very, very late, and I had imagined that we could sleep in today.

Based on how little light there is, however, Mirage has disturbed me when the sun has barely risen in the sky.

“What is it, Mirage?” I groan softly, feeling the girls asleep next to me yet, seeing Mirage in front of me, a touch agitated, or maybe excited.

“Princess is here to see you!” she tells me, still speaking quietly, and that has me wake fast.

As carefully as I can, I get up, doing my very best not to disturb the slumbering fillies. I try and shake the tiredness from myself, and ask Mirage, “Where?”

“Outside.” She tells me, pointing that way, and I nod.

Not the best of times for her to come back, but far from the worst one. I head that way, Mirage soon joining me.

I find Princess waiting for me outside my den, along with Clover. Her smile is a little dampened once she notices me; I suspect I seem tired and worn.

“Princess.” I greet, before I yawn. “F, forgive me.” I tell her, shaking my head again. “Last night was a long one.”

“I do apologize if I’ve disturbed you, Kitty.” Princess tells me, “But I simply had to come as soon as I could once Mirage reminded me.”

“…Mirage reminded you.” I say, glancing to Mirage, who looks to me with a neutral expression. Now that I think about it, I sort of remember feeling something was missing last night.

And now I think I know what, or rather, who, that was.

But why did she go and find Princess again?

“Reminded you of what, Princess?” I ask her, suspecting Mirage wasn't about to tell me herself.

“Well, of you, Kitty.” she tells me. “I had so much to say once all that business with the ice and snow was over with, but you had left, and by the time we had realized you were gone, we heard your roar, and saw you leaving. And right after, there was just so much to be done that I somehow completely forgot about you.”

“That is perfectly alright, Princess.” I tell her, sitting. “What happened after I left that day?” I ask her, already suspecting I know.

Princess hesitates a moment before she tells me, “We are all still unsure what happened precisely, Kitty.” she begins, “But that cold and snow was… unnatural. And we all think that we all, I, Commander, Chancellor, and everypony else, were being influenced by something. Difficult as it is to imagine, something strange seems to have been responsible for the cold, and had us acting… rather irresponsibly. I’ve never been so mad as then, and I don’t think I will be ever again.”

“And if it wasn't for Clover, Smart, Private, and the fillies, I firmly suspect that we might all have been frozen, forever caught in that moment of rage.”

“What did you and the others speak of, though?” I ask her. “Once the warm returned, and the sun shone, and I roared and left, what happened then?”

Princess nods, though I suspect she wants to continue what she was saying. “I, Chancellor, and Commander had a long talk.” She tells me. “Where we came from, the tribes stand apart, each with their own, distinct leadership, laws, and customs. When we first left that land to seek a new one, we thought that our problems had come from what little connections that we had shared; that our being together was what caused our strife.”

“Even before we found this land, we had each decided that we could only move forward by relying on our own strength. When we found one another here, we decided to enforce that separation; that we might never be bothered by another tribe again. I took the forest, Commander claimed the high peaks, and Chancellor took the valleys as we left the land around this peak to be never claimed by any. We all thought that we had found the true path forwards, all thought that by standing alone, we could become greater than what we were.” Princess sighs, and continues, “We were all wrong; we all ran into troubles that the others might solve, but none of us even considered asking for aid.”

“And if Mirage had not run afoul of my scouting team, and the pegasi never taking the fillies, then we might have all fallen to our own hubris.” Princess says, shaking her head. “…To my great shame, Commander tells me that if I had not trespassed in his land, nor demanded the fillies to be given to me, then he would have returned them on his own, and more so, would have wanted to meet us again. For the fillies had inspired him, and he then inspired us.”

“As the snow melted and the sun shone, he told us his amazement with the three little fillies who managed to outwit his guards and overcome his every effort to contain them, all because they stayed together, cooperated, and used their differences to overcome challenges any one could never hope to overcome, acting in union with one another. And he asked us all:”

“If three fillies could do so much together, then what majesties might we make if we made them our example?” Princess asks, smiling before she gives a small sigh, and sadly adds, “If only this new dawn could have come without so much cost to you…”

“The cost to me is nothing, Princess.” I tell her. “To hear that the fillies inspired the most important ponies of this time far outweighs any trouble I might have suffered. If they knew that it is they who are responsible for unification of ponykind, I might never hear them stop boasting about it.”

Princess smiles again. “Again, you surprise me, Kitty.” she says. “The depths of your magnanimousness is truly unfathomable.” I have barely begun to react before she then adds, “But telling you all that is not why Mirage asked us to come; actually, it was Clover she asked to come visit you.”

“Oh?” I ask, again looking to Mirage, who still has a neutral face. I look at Clover, and ask her, “And why is that?”

“Mirage is worried for your health, Kitty.” Clover tells me, to my surprise. “She tells me that you were once able to stop time, an ability you used to hunt, but apparently, find yourself unable to do so any longer.”

I look at Mirage, wondering; when was it that she figured that out?

Mirage looks back, and then tells me, “You’ve been weirdly tense, and it wasn't going away. And when I followed after you, to try and find out why you were upset, I saw you roaring and nothing happening.”

“Mirage,”

“Kitty, I know you don’t want me to worry.” Mirage continues. “And you might think you can hide it, but not from me. When something bothers you, it bothers me; always. And when you don’t tell me what that is, I worry that it’s something really bad. Like ‘losing you’ bad.”

“Mirage…”

Mirage closes her eyes for a moment, clenching them shut. I gently tap her with a paw, and she looks up at me again, her eyes a little teary.

“…You have to stop scaring me like this.” she says, her voice a little tight as she wipes her eyes with a hoof. I lower my head to her, and gently push against her.

“…I’m sorry, Mirage.” I tell her, hearing Mirage sigh against me before she hugs at my head. “But whatever is wrong is not much, I promise you. The only thing wrong is that my roar has lost its power; my tension that I am unable to complete my duty to the girls.”

I feel Mirage nod against me, and hear her sniffle, to my pain. I should have told her a lot earlier. I never thought she would notice…

“…There, together, forever?” Mirage asks me, sighing.

“There, together, forever.” I respond, Mirage sighing again and letting go. She gives me a weak smile as I lift my head back up, trying to smile reassuringly at her. Then I look back at Clover, who seems a bit stiff, Princess looking a little emotional herself.

“What can you do for me, Clover?” I ask her, making her startle slightly.

Clover swallows before she starts, “I should begin with a thorough examination, so I can start to understand your physiology. It will help if you can tell me anything about yourself as well.”

“I understand.” I tell her, thinking.

“We should begin with a species name.” Clover says, using her magic to ready a notepad and writing utensils. “If I am able to look you up in a bestiary, that will accelerate this process by quite a bit. So, Kitty, what is your species?”

“…I do not know.” I tell her, making Clover startle, actually dropping her pen in her surprise, both Mirage and Princess startling as well.

“W, what?” Clover manages.

“I do not know what it is I am.” I tell her.

Clover just gapes at me for a few moments before she stutters, “Bu, but that, that doesn’t make any sense! You had parents, and,”

“I had nothing.” I interrupt. “The first memory I have is waking by myself within a forest, and finding my body unfamiliar to me, yet comfortable.”

Clover continues to stare, gaping. After a moment, I think, and add:

“Even then though, I know how to speak a language my own, and I still find that I know things despite not knowing how I would know them.”

“K, Kitty.” Princess says, shocked herself. “Are, you are aware that what you are saying,”

“Seems impossible.” I finish for her. “I know that. But I have no answer I can give to either you, or myself. For the longest time, I have known myself by what the first pony I cared for called me: The Great Winged Lion.”

A few moments pass before Clover takes a long and slow breath, recollecting herself.

“Alright.” she says, calmer. “The Great Winged Lion it is.” she says, jotting that down. “But just as a placeholder: one of these days, I’m going to find out what you are, and maybe get some clue as to your past as well.”

“That is acceptable.” I tell her, nodding.

“…Could you not discover that for yourself, Kitty?” Princess asks me, making Clover hesitate again to look at her, confused. “If you can walk the ages, could you not have just peered to before you woke, to try and discover your origin?”

I notice Clover gape again, at Princess that time, as I think about it. the idea seems feasible, yet… there is something about it that makes me not want to do so. A slight sensation of fear… Ah. Now I know.

“…I could not.” I tell her. Seeing her wanting to know, before she can ask, I tell her, “I cannot be in my own past; it is beyond my ability to do so.”

Princess nods slowly, but Clover asks, “H, how do you know that?”

“I told you already, Clover. I know things without knowledge of how.” I say. “That is as inborn in me as my own language is.”

“Besides, my past has long since had no value to me.” I continue. “It grants me knowledge that keeps me safe, but nothing I value nor think I might value comes from it. I do not need to know what came before my waking. I only need remember the life I’ve lived after I first woke, and the treasures that I have gained through living that life.”

I smile at Mirage with some purpose then, and she smiles back.

Clover takes another deep breath. “…Alright. First things first. Princess, how do you know Kitty can travel in time?”

“He told me himself.” Princess says, as though that is a perfectly normal thing for somepony to say and then for another to not mention to others. “Though I do have to say that the ability is rather limited; he cannot tell us much about the future he came from.”

“What?” Clover yelps. “Pri, Princess, he, he, he, future?” she yells.

“Don’t think he’ll tell you too much, Clover.” Princess says, gaining a mischievous grin. “He only told me that the story of this time gets retold with each passing year.” she frowns slightly, and adds, “Though the accuracy of my depiction is frankly terrible.”

Clover seems to shut down after that, just staring, unblinking, at Princess.

“…This seems unkind, Princess.” I tell her, though I am unable to not grin a little at Clover’s overreaction. Mirage seems a little more uncertain, but my calm makes her relax soon.

“Oh, I get to surprise Clover so rarely!” Princess tells me, giving a small, beautiful laugh. “She’s just so clever you know; she always anticipates things. Although, she does seem to have taken this rather surprisingly.” She adds, looking to Clover with a slight concern, who had yet to move. “Clover, are you alright dear? Clover?”

Princess hesitates, and I reach out to gently tap Clover with my paw. When she does not respond to that, I carefully extend one claw and ever so carefully prick her flank with it.

She yelps and jumps, shaking herself hard soon after, still looking stunned, but no longer frozen in place.

“Clover, are you alright?” Princess asks her, worried. “I didn’t mean to shock you that badly.”

“I, I, I’m.” she tries, breathing a little hard, obviously trying to get herself under control again, though she seems near panicked. “K, Kitty, you, you…”

“…I still want you to help him, Clover.” Mirage tells her, trying to get her to recover.

Clover nods, and calms a little more, slowly losing her frantic look. After a moment, she shuts her eyes, focusing on her breathing, and a few breaths later, she gives a large sigh and seems mostly normal, though a touch frazzled.

“…Is there any other shock I should know about?” she asks, looking at Princess with a tired expression.

“None I know of.” Princess tells her, making her giver a faint sigh of relief before she looks back to me.

“Alright. So, you cannot stop time anymore. Can you travel still, or not?”

“No.”

“Got it.” she says, recovering a little more. “Did this happen before or after the collar was put on you?”

“Before.”

She nods, recollecting her notepad and pen, and starting to jot things down. “…The name is still just a placeholder, but I’m going to make you a whole new entry in the bestiary.”

“I would rather you didn’t.” I tell her, making Clover pause, and look at me.

“Why not?” she asks.

“I first lived in the future, Clover.” I tell her. “I would sooner not have any mention of me find its way there, lest I find my recent past changed.”

“Do what he says, Clover.” Princess says. “He is the expert on the subject.”

“Of course, Princess.” Clover says, glancing at her notepad. “I’ll make sure to destroy these notes later on, then.”

“Thank you.” I sigh, relieved.

“Now, we can start with a general physical aptitude test so I can learn your limits and general strength and endurance.” Clover says, looking at me. “I didn’t get to learn it comprehensively, but the pegasi have their own variant that accounts for wings, and I’ll be using that as well.”

“What does my strength have to do with my power?” I ask.

“Simple.” Clover says, looking to me. “As you are entirely unknown to me and yourself, we are going to cover every possible variable that might play into your capacity to manipulate time.”

“…I suppose.” I say, unsure.

“Let’s start.” she says, her horn lighting.

---

I spent all day being examined by Clover. The whole morning, I was running, leaping, and flying to try and test my limits, Clover taking careful measurements during the attempts.

At some point, the girls woke, and joined Mirage and Princess watching. I saw them cheering a few times after I’ve managed some particularly impressive feat.

Clover noted that I used my wings when I was running, something I did not know I did, and then asked me to try flying.

Apparently, I am a power flyer. My top speed is higher than the average pegasus, but my agility in the air is abysmal compared to the average pegasus as well.

Recalling Commander Hurricane flying inches over the ground, able to maneuver near impossibly, that seems fair.

I was tired and hungry after that, and Clover came with me on my hunt for food. She was quiet during the time, as I asked her to be, but once I had killed the manticore, she asked me all sort of questions about my diet. How often I ate, how much I normally ate, the things I normally ate, the things I would eat if I was hungry enough, the things I preferred to eat, and more.

She showed no indication of caring about me killing and eating the manticore, though she did ask me if I felt uncomfortable eating something that looked somewhat like I do. I told her that it didn’t, and she said that meant I was likely not related in any meaningful capacity to manticores. Which I felt was good until she said that that set her farther back in understanding my physiology.

Once we got back, she tried to physically examine me in any way she could think of, and she thought of more than I ever could. She even had me open my mouth so she could count my teeth, and actually climbed in herself to try and see so far down my throat that I near choked on her. That took hours to finish, but she did answer a few questions about myself I never knew I had, even though I had to throw everypony out of the den so she could do her work in peace and I could retain my dignity.

It was late once that was done, and she finally asked me to demonstrate how I would normally use my power, with every attempt to try and mimic them as closely as possible. I admit, I was a bit thoughtless at first; we were still in my den, and she was right in front of me, but I was tired by then and not really thinking.

Once we were outside and Clover felt better, she had me roar a number more times until I felt that doing more might be painful.

All that finally done, I pad back over to where they are all waiting, watching Clover flicking through her notes.

“Well?” I ask her, wondering, my voice a touch worn.

“Nothing obvious, I’m afraid.” she says, getting her notes in order. “I don’t believe that it’s your health that has anything to do with it, but that means it’s something else, and I’ll need some time to sort through all the data I collected to try and discover it.”

I nod, understanding, and sigh, tired. After the late night, the early morning, and all the exercise, I’m exhausted at this point.

“I’ll try to have an answer for you as soon as possible, Kitty, I promise.” She tells me, seeing my exhaustion.

“Thank you, Clover.” I tell her, my voice worn. “I’m just tired now; it’s been a long day. Mirage, girls; if you want to stay up, you may do so, but I am going back to sleep now.”

They nod, but as I turn to go, Princess stops me, asking, “When will you be available next, Kitty? Chancellor and Commander both wanted to meet with you again, and I’d like to have us all meet at your den sometime.”

“…The day after tomorrow.” I tell her, heading away. “And then anytime not before sunrise, and not at noon.”

“Get a good rest, Kitty!” I hear her call as I leave, and I gain a small smile as I go.