The only time you should be using the exact words of the origional fic is lines of dialogue for the ponies who said them. You wouldn't describe things in exactly the same way Littlepip does in your head. You wouldn't say the exact same thing Littlepip does... And I'm pretty sure you're not wearing saddlebags to carry things in. -_-
Thanks! I like the idea of this fic, seeing the reaction of a human to the world with no prior knowledge of it, so it's dissapointing when you end up copy-pasting pip's reactions to everything.
You know what a train is. You didn't think to ask why the train ponies didn't decouple the engine and just take the whisstle from it if it doesn't work? Maybe it's a complicated and arcane device fully intigrated into the engine making the removal impossible. Maybe it's held on by a couple loose bolts but nopony ever thought of it... That sort of thing.
Even if you don't want to deviate all that much from the origional, there's a new party member who needs bottlecaps, food, ammo, equipment etc. You'll need to do more if you don't want to be a drain on the rest of Pip's crew. You could be having a lot more fun with this fic if you wanted. ;)
Will this story have any sex scenes, implied or otherwise, where the woman does most or all of the work?
8492583
Uh... maybe.
The only time you should be using the exact words of the origional fic is lines of dialogue for the ponies who said them. You wouldn't describe things in exactly the same way Littlepip does in your head. You wouldn't say the exact same thing Littlepip does... And I'm pretty sure you're not wearing saddlebags to carry things in. -_-
8493883
You're right, I'll see what I can do.
Thanks! I like the idea of this fic, seeing the reaction of a human to the world with no prior knowledge of it, so it's dissapointing when you end up copy-pasting pip's reactions to everything.
You know what a train is. You didn't think to ask why the train ponies didn't decouple the engine and just take the whisstle from it if it doesn't work? Maybe it's a complicated and arcane device fully intigrated into the engine making the removal impossible. Maybe it's held on by a couple loose bolts but nopony ever thought of it... That sort of thing.
Even if you don't want to deviate all that much from the origional, there's a new party member who needs bottlecaps, food, ammo, equipment etc. You'll need to do more if you don't want to be a drain on the rest of Pip's crew. You could be having a lot more fun with this fic if you wanted. ;)
8494002
Yeah, I'll work on it.