Bathed in the late afternoon hues of a vermilion and violet sky, a certain yellow pegasus waits impatiently by the mailbox, fluttering her sun-kissed wings in anticipation. Tonight, with the help of a friend, she'll appease the tickle of springtime.
Beautiful. I love how you used the plush as an intermediary between Flutters and Twi, as well as them pretending that it was a stallion breeding them both. Best kind of sexy-talk imo.
Twilight shuddered. Fluttershy sat back against the arm of the couch and pulled Twilight with her, resting the alicorn between her splayed hind legs. She then gently placed one hoof over Twilight’s, and guided it down between her purple thighs, as she continued to inject Twilight’s brain with liberal doses of saccharine.
Yes, I too, like my brain being injected with splenda
Hm. My head's a little... chaotic, right now. A lot of thoughts. Let's pour some of those out here. So, your writing is top-notch, obviously. And the interactions between Twilight and Fluttershy were great. A lot of fun, in character. The two of them searching for a name for the toy was hilarious. Putting all the good aside, though - something felt wrong. It started at a certain point within this chapter and from that point onwards, something just... felt wrong. Not strong enough to be called 'dangerous' or 'disturbing', just... wrong.
“…do you really think he knows?”
That was the point Twilight started to treat the toy like it wasn't what it is. Sure, she recovered - for a short time. That's the point where things went downhill fast, for me, too. When I started writing this comment, I thought that this just might not have been my 'cup of tea'. But the more I think about it, the more this 'mystery' unravels. Both Fluttershy and Twilight have dangerously unstable personalities. Okay, to be honest - most of the main seven have. This chapter made me think of Fluttershy's episode with Iron Will. Her becoming mean, aggressive, deluding herself into whatever illusion she built for herself. She has a tendency to get lost in her own world, usually built by fear and anxiety. Acting like a maniac - as she did at the end of last chapter - made me wary. Made me feel like she's on the brink of losing it again. And Twilight, well... I don't need to count down each and every time her marvellous mind got the better of her, do I? There's playing make-believe, which is fine, really. It isn't a toy, no, it's actually a he, a real he. But playing has to end eventually and those two are more prone to actually endanger themselves with nothing more than simple thought than most of their friends. Here, though, it doesn't feel like it ended - at all. Their fantasy continues and might, eventually, contort their perception of reality. Working with a toy to overcome your anxieties or to live your fantasies is all fine and dandy, but what they did here just screams 'unhealthy' at me. I know that there's an epilogue and I'm obviously gonna read it. (Because I hate it to leave stories unfinished.) I suppose that I'm even gonna upvote it, because as I said initially - the writing is really good. But I think this story could be improved if, somewhere, somehow, it would be made a little more clear that it was a game for both of them, nothing more. (I don't expect that to be part of the epilogue.) Then again, maybe I'm just taking this too seriously...
Beautiful. I love how you used the plush as an intermediary between Flutters and Twi, as well as them pretending that it was a stallion breeding them both. Best kind of sexy-talk imo.
no comment?
8321741
Hm?
Yes, I too, like my brain being injected with splenda
8433204
It's just THAT sweet
8433239
Yeah, but in all seriousness this is one of the best (and strangest) stories I've ever read, you are truly a master writer, wishywish
8433271
Aw, ya make me blush
I particularly enjoyed writing this one.
Hm. My head's a little... chaotic, right now. A lot of thoughts. Let's pour some of those out here.
So, your writing is top-notch, obviously. And the interactions between Twilight and Fluttershy were great. A lot of fun, in character. The two of them searching for a name for the toy was hilarious.
Putting all the good aside, though - something felt wrong. It started at a certain point within this chapter and from that point onwards, something just... felt wrong. Not strong enough to be called 'dangerous' or 'disturbing', just... wrong.
That was the point Twilight started to treat the toy like it wasn't what it is. Sure, she recovered - for a short time. That's the point where things went downhill fast, for me, too.
When I started writing this comment, I thought that this just might not have been my 'cup of tea'. But the more I think about it, the more this 'mystery' unravels. Both Fluttershy and Twilight have dangerously unstable personalities. Okay, to be honest - most of the main seven have. This chapter made me think of Fluttershy's episode with Iron Will. Her becoming mean, aggressive, deluding herself into whatever illusion she built for herself. She has a tendency to get lost in her own world, usually built by fear and anxiety. Acting like a maniac - as she did at the end of last chapter - made me wary. Made me feel like she's on the brink of losing it again.
And Twilight, well... I don't need to count down each and every time her marvellous mind got the better of her, do I?
There's playing make-believe, which is fine, really. It isn't a toy, no, it's actually a he, a real he. But playing has to end eventually and those two are more prone to actually endanger themselves with nothing more than simple thought than most of their friends. Here, though, it doesn't feel like it ended - at all. Their fantasy continues and might, eventually, contort their perception of reality. Working with a toy to overcome your anxieties or to live your fantasies is all fine and dandy, but what they did here just screams 'unhealthy' at me.
I know that there's an epilogue and I'm obviously gonna read it. (Because I hate it to leave stories unfinished.) I suppose that I'm even gonna upvote it, because as I said initially - the writing is really good.
But I think this story could be improved if, somewhere, somehow, it would be made a little more clear that it was a game for both of them, nothing more. (I don't expect that to be part of the epilogue.) Then again, maybe I'm just taking this too seriously...