A painful disturbance of a secret library horror in the archives in Canterlot. A pony name Coral Grim is trying to find the book of the source on dark magic and how it works by seeking in the adult section where it's lock up for a reason.
Alright, that was almost painful. There are so many oddly written sentences that it is nearly unbearable. To make matters worse, I'm not sure how I feel about the story because of the writing itself.
Without trying to be mean, it is awful (the writing)... I have no idea about the content of the story, but it might be fun. The troubles with the writing made it so I just couldn't focus on anything but the quality. If you'd like, I could edit the chapter (Intro) and send it to you. Because as it is, it is just awful.
Also, this is more like a chapter one than an introductory piece. This had all the signs of being a part of the story in a 'this is plot' kind of way.
8914892 The Intro is part of the beginning right? Or at least part of it. You may wish to send it if you must... But, I need to move on. But, I'll reconsider your offer. Sense i'm going to quit writing soon. To busy with work and not enough time to go through all of the 2 stories that are complete. When my third fiction ends I'm totally quitting writing as I'm highly stress trying to figure out ideas that no one has use yet.
Alright, that was almost painful. There are so many oddly written sentences that it is nearly unbearable. To make matters worse, I'm not sure how I feel about the story because of the writing itself.
Without trying to be mean, it is awful (the writing)... I have no idea about the content of the story, but it might be fun. The troubles with the writing made it so I just couldn't focus on anything but the quality. If you'd like, I could edit the chapter (Intro) and send it to you. Because as it is, it is just awful.
Also, this is more like a chapter one than an introductory piece. This had all the signs of being a part of the story in a 'this is plot' kind of way.
8914892
The Intro is part of the beginning right? Or at least part of it. You may wish to send it if you must... But, I need to move on. But, I'll reconsider your offer. Sense i'm going to quit writing soon. To busy with work and not enough time to go through all of the 2 stories that are complete. When my third fiction ends I'm totally quitting writing as I'm highly stress trying to figure out ideas that no one has use yet.