Intermission One: Vesper Nova's Photography
Princess Luna,
As you requested I've been recording the new humans to debrief Princess Celestia later on. I will try to let the images and sketches speak for themselves, but I will provide context when needed. I am thankful once again for the chance to be the first to record standing images for these observations and even more grateful for Captain Dusk to allow me to bring my camera on this mission.
"The Midnight Guardian"
It was immediately after our first arrival, while Princess Luna was being led to treat the wounded I caught sight of a human cadet watching over his wounded ally. While you would later save this cadet, I thought it was important to capture the careful overwatch of their friend. I wasn't able to use my camera, so I had to improvise with a sketch. While I didn't have a chance to get their names, this is at least a physical interpretation that the humans understand friendship on some level.
"Off-Duty"
While we've discovered that we seem to share many things with humans, including language and according to Twilight Sparkle's reports magic, they are familiar with tea. While I'm sure this is excellent news for Princess Celestia, I should not their advert distrust when I took the picture most just avoided looking at me.
An addendum, they were not drinking tea. They had just found a stash of hard cider and tea cups. They are familiar with tea, but they wanted 'booze' after their ordeal. If you'd like me to see if this group would be willing to share, I can ask them for you later Princess.
"Outside the Wall"
I had requested to see the burial site of Sardonyx's forces once I heard they'd all died in the fighting. While the human's own burials and some of their practices had been recorded by Princess Twilight; I felt that it was important to see how they treated Sardonyx's dead. Upon my arrival to the burial site just outside the wall and deep within the brush, it was merely a large mound of dirt covering a single, large grave.
According to the humans who escorted me (pictured above, atop the grave) the practice is rarely done, but there is no denying that a mass grave was used to dispose of the fort's occupants. I'd recommend exhuming the bodies to deliver notice to any next of kin, even if they are criminals; they might have families.
Unfortunately, this discovery provides evidence that perhaps our new allies are not as heroic as they appear to be. The Knight-Commander's accounts of their bravery during their attack are put through a griffon's perception. What she saw as glorious might've been a slaughter.
"Captain David Brown and Lieutenant Cristopher Williams of Bravo Company"
I didn't know if it was needed of me to take a photo of them, but Miss Jackson requested that if I was to claim 'murder' because of their mass grave that I also must deliver 'motivation'. I'm not sure if she confirmed my suspicions indirectly, but I could see her logic. If I was to photograph (or at least attempt to) the Equus dead I should record that of the humans.
I asked the cadets that shadowed me their thoughts on my impromptu investigation and they gave surprisingly similar answers. The fight had become personal, their casualties had been their friends. Sardonyx's forces didn't intend on showing any mercy to 'Mister King', why should they?
In any case, their answer just painted the picture grayer. It's undeniable though, what they suffered and the deaths that occurred on the mountain were tragic.
"Fun and Games"
I took these the morning of the departure. With their friends at peace, their wounded stabilized, and the prospect of leaving the mountain becoming a reality; the mood of the humans was much brighter. This group engaged in a large-scale snowball fight for an hour before their officers had them resume their work. They were much more friendly and greeted us as allies instead of just glaring if one of us got too close, I even tossed a snowball or two back at them! A little kindness towards humans seems to go a long way, but I still urge hesitation.
After speaking with one 'Cathy Langhorne' (odd name), I was informed that humans did indeed have cameras as well. In fact, she was able to show me one of their 'phones' that has the smallest camera I've ever seen in it. It's nothing as bulky as we carry around and takes pictures in perfect color! She showed me pictures of her coltfriend boyfriend and her family for hours before her phone's battery 'died'. She didn't seem too upset at least, she was confident they'd figure out a way to 'recharge' them eventually and was just glad to share.
In short summary, we've come across very dangerous allies. I do not doubt your decision to assist them Princess, they are creatures capable of great care, sympathy, and friendship and they've endured a losses that many would snap under. I caution though that our empathy not get the best of us, while these humans have suffered they did away with those who caused them harm very brutally. They will be useful in helping us track down and deal with Sardonyx, but I'm worried what happens after they get their revenge. What they'd do next.
Very Respectfully,
Vesper Nova
A.B (After Banishment) 1005
First Night Guard Detachment
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1st
Damn just damn that hit me in the feels.
One word has been written wrong though in this fic...
Casualty has been written as causality which has a completely different meaning...
Just pointing this out now that i've read all that i can
8134903
This is why I asked for some comments! Thank you! I'll fix that when I get the chance.
Update: Actually managed to fix causality and casualty confusion pretty quickly, the mistake was made once or twice across the whole story so far but in very prominent sections. Thank you again for giving me the heads up!
8136721
Hey, what you said has been super helpful! Seriously, characterization has been an issue I'm worried about for the first chapter. I expand (or attempt to) on the characters in later chapters, but what's the point of running a race if you fall on your face during the start!
First off; I've had several people state in brief reviews and overviews of the first chapter. The intro-quote, at least for Chapter One, is too 'info-dumpy'...and as much as I don't want to part with it...nothing is sacred when trying to write a good story. I think I'll replace it with a folk-lore-ish intro connected to Cantwell's heritage.
Dyke straps:
They're the white, strap thingis on old uniforms but...yeah I'm not really too careful with that jargon. You make a good point about it, they could just be called 'straps' or even 'extra-decorative pieces'. I'm going to comb over the first chapter tonight and clean that up a bit, I can see how much of a turn off that can be right off the bat.
Glad I nailed the 'uncertainty' tone though! But the point about them only being kids (college aged kids, but still kids) is supposed to be an underlying theme. But they're really shallow, I see that...I think if I clean out a lot of the jargon and add a few lines that match the character's tones I hope I can make a more engaging first chapter.
Lastly, on my honor, by the grace of god, and by the ghost of Chesty Puller I'm going to get you invested!
Thank you again!
Very Respectfully,
Wooliewarrior
Ima be frank.... I like your shit
8147719
Ayye; Thanks man! Anything in particular? Or maybe things you didn't like?
8147908 I just like the Idea of large groups of... well whatever coming to equestrian. I guess it is the politics side.
8150073
Right on dog! I hope you enjoy the next few bits then!
8150078 I better..... or else.
8150080
Cantwell slowly stood up and offered DuPont a look of horror as Insert_Username came over the hill, a trio of small pink ponies following him in a small squad. His CO's voice whispered out in terror as he dropped his saber and grabbed him on the shoulder, "Fly you fool!"
8150246 Those were the best pair of sentences I have read today...
Personally I hope to see more interactions between the humans and the griffon government later along the lines, I wouldn't doubt they'd want a few guns to add to their own military. Maybe a few humans settle down in the Griffon Empire when everything is said and done?
8154325
[Locks you away in a dark, dark room]
How dare you foreshadow a future arc!
8154364
THE TRUTH WILL NOT BE SILENCED!