Pony Confusion
The houses, the trees, the ground, the sky. There was no way this couldn't be Equestria. However there is one significant change. The colors aren't as clear as they are in the show. They're much more realistic here. The whole world looks rather much like those really talented drawings, with shadows, and different variations of the same colors.
So I stand there, just viewing it all. Really absorbing my surroundings, because lets face it, this isn't something that happens every day, so I motion to sit down to enjoy the whole situation, but as I'm about to do so, I see the pink thing running behind some trees. So I start moving towards the trees to finally confront it. I round the trees, and see...
“Pink... Pinkie... Pinkie Pie..?” Ofcourse, because who else could be so random.
She turns her head slightly my way, replying with a nod and a “Mhmm?”. I'm not sure if she's taken a good look at me yet.
“Whats going on? How is this happening? This isn't possible. You're not possible!” I reply, reminding myself quite a bit about Twilight in that time-traveling episode.
Now, she looks at me, and for a moment she looks like she's staring into my very soul. Only for a moment. Then she lets out one of those very high squeaks, jumps into the air, and in a blink of an eye, she's already far away, sprinting towards Ponyville.
“Oh Pinkie...” I sigh, and facehoof. Wait, faceHOOF? I look down on myself and see to my surprise that I'm no longer human. I am now a dark-brown colored pony, with a silver mane. Whats strange is, it doesn't feel strange at all. Now that I know I'm a pony, I notice that it does feel different to walk, however it comes so natural. Everything also does feel a little bigger than usual, but not enough to notice anything on first eyesight. I spent a few moments to get used to my new body, however I quickly figure that most of the things I can do as a human, and they all come fairly natural. Deciding that I don't actually need to spend time learning anything, I begin to walk towards Ponyville, bracing myself for the possible Pinkie-Welcoming-Party.
The road I'm walking on goes right past Fluttershy's cottage, so I figure I'll pay her a visit, just to get a view of her house in this world.
*Knock knock.*
Moments later there is a click from the door being unlocked, and Fluttershy slowly opens it.
“Yes?” she says, looking at me with a surprised expression. They're probably not used to strangers in Ponyville, much less on the outskirts.
“Hello there Fluttershy. It is Fluttershy, right?” I say, pretending I don't know as to not freak her out or anything. Imagine some complete stranger walking up to you, acting like he knows you. Exactly.
“Uhm yes...” she says, looking a little confused.
I stand there for a moment, unsure of what really to say. I never think this far, I always just walk up to people and start talking, but unlike usually, words don't just come out.
“Not really sure... I just came by to see how you're doing.”
She looks confused at me for a moment before replying. “But I don't even know you...”
“Well how else am I going to get to know you?” I reply. The reply hangs in the air for a moment before she replies.
“Uhm, well I'm fine...” she answers, still nervous by the fact there's a stranger on her doorstep, acting like her friend.
Suddenly Angel comes jumping, and stops at the porch, looks at me for a moment, then continues on with whatever business he's doing.
“Alright, glad to hear”. The situation is starting to get a little uncomfortable, so I motion to turn around.
“Well, I better get going”
“Okay...” she answers, and slowly closes the door.
*****
“Stupid stupid stupid!”. I facehoof several times as I've left the sight of the cottage. I don't know who I'm going to meet next, but I start planning things to say to each. However I barely get started before I hear a screech from above. I look up and sees a rainbow-colored pony, flying right towards me, and before I can move anywhere, she collides with me, ramming us both into the mud puddle next to me.
“Ups, sorry. I kinda lost control there for a moment. Here, let me help you out”. She flies away, grabs a small cloud and drifts it over my head.
“Wait!”
“What?”
“I'd like to get OUT of the mud first.”
“Oh, right.”
I walk out of the mud, and she moves the cloud ones more, jumps a few times on it so as to rain on me. Then she proceeds to make a Rainblow Dry. Luckily no mud in my hair.
“I'm Rainbow Dash by the way.”
“Yeah I know” slips out, before I remember that I'm not supposed to know anything about them. She catches it, and looks at me with a perplexed look.
“You know? How?”
For a moment I'm completely clueless as of what to say. I think of something, and decides that will have to do.
“From the 'Best Young Fliers' competition”.
“But you're not a pegasus. How can you know if you haven't been there.”
“Twilight spoke of you last time she was in Canterlot.” I reply, thanking Celestia that I have a quick mind.
“Oh, ofcause! So what are you doing here in Ponyville?” she asks.
“I'm just on a visit” I reply, now regaining a bit of my confidence.
“But why did you come from the Everfree Forest then?”
“Oh I didn't actually come from there. I just got...” I think for a moment before picking a fitting answer. “... sidetracked, on my way from Canterlot.”
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The meaning of life is Twilight Sparkle!
857477
Proven fact! (She even was Number 42!)
BTFF:
Since it's the first fanfic you wrote I'll try to give some advices instead of rating down:
First things first: As you may noted while reading other fanfics, it's common to write in past tense instead of letting everything happen in the present.
One may think that this isn't that important, but gosh! This was so odd to read.
Also, a great improvement for this would be a co-reader.
Errors like: "There is no sounds." and "I look up and sees a rainbow-colored pony" can be killed easily with a doupled eye-count.
Last but not least maybe a little style-trolling:
"I hear a -snap- like a stick breaking" IMO, it would be better to break such direct actions in several parts, like:
'Snap'
A sound suddenly reached my ear, equal to those caused by breaking sticks.
Not the best too, but you got the idea.. ( I wonder what people will say when I will finally release my fic, if someone will read it at least)
I want to give a link to you that is great for improving writing-skills:
Oh darling, be a dear and klick me please! (Writing-World.com)
So far..
keep writing! This has potential inside!
# 42 in Read it and Weep,the 42nd episode.
Well, is anyone interested in me continuing the story?
860375 I are!!!!!
861976 Excellent, then I shall keep writing
861991 When will you upload it?!
978177 I've had a mixture of a writers block, and simple vacation. I have written some, but just not enough to upload yet
978766 -L-