i will liek and follow this tho i do have many issues. mostly the length i knwo its hard but short chapters let little go on and mostly you skip over what is actually happening in the world the majority of this chapter can be summed up in he gets off train, beats up a stupid guard, gets a donought and breaks into the castle. seems pretty lackluster. although il admit i was hopeing for a cliffhanger like that. i liek the stories idea, and character. mainly i just recomend tryign to build up each chapter a bit more, have mroe thigns going on more interactions with various charicters ect. if you want some ideas on more stuff to add pm me id be hapy t obounce ideas off ya. hope you keep growing id love to see this grow better and better.
also pardon my probably horrendous grammar in this comment.
hahahahahahahahaha! i love that ending. and god dammit. a kinda cliff hangar
Getting better and better, keep up the good work.
8059240 thanks dude
i will liek and follow this tho i do have many issues. mostly the length i knwo its hard but short chapters let little go on and mostly you skip over what is actually happening in the world the majority of this chapter can be summed up in he gets off train, beats up a stupid guard, gets a donought and breaks into the castle. seems pretty lackluster. although il admit i was hopeing for a cliffhanger like that. i liek the stories idea, and character. mainly i just recomend tryign to build up each chapter a bit more, have mroe thigns going on more interactions with various charicters ect. if you want some ideas on more stuff to add pm me id be hapy t obounce ideas off ya. hope you keep growing id love to see this grow better and better.
also pardon my probably horrendous grammar in this comment.
8059394 my problem isint background for the characters i just have a little trouble writing background
8059702 I meant dialog sorry
8059705
that's understandable it happens to alot of people. im just meerly trying to point it out so you know and can try to improve.
Before I read this, what is the Gore and Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?