Pony Zombie Apocalypse

by Icewind505

Discovery

Twilight stood alone in her library, Spike had gone to Canterlot to take care of some royal business. She skimmed through one of her books, one that had popped up before, Perplexing Pony Plagues. She was interested in one particular disease though, Trogo-Enkefalos.

"A disease in which a pony is deemed "undead". A bite from an infected pony will cause you to be condemned to the same fate. No matter what compassion is shown toward these ponies they can not be stopped. The symptoms are headaches, insistent coughing, random blisters, clammy skin, and bloodshot eyes. Eventually speech is replaced with collections of moans, pupils are so dilated that it seems as if only the whites if the eyes are there and blood spills out from every open passage in the body( pores included in more extreme cases). There is no known cure." Twilight scoffed, there was no way a disease could ever exist. Undead? That's like saying she believed in curses, undead ponies were just an old mare's tale. Twilight trotted upstairs to her bed, perhaps Spike would be here in the morning.

----

Spike awoke with a jolt. He was panting and sweating. Whew, it was just a dream. Spike slowly walked out the door. It was morning and he needed to make his way back to Ponyville. His meeting with the princesses had certainly been interesting. Celestia didn't seem quite herself, she had bags under her eyes, almost slurred her speech and a lot of the time looked hungrily at the other ponies in the room. Luna seemed just as concerned for her older sister but payed no attention to it. Spike was only brought to his senses when he crashed into a half asleep Celestia. She snapped her head around and growled at the surprised baby dragon. Celestia narrowed her eyes and galloped away. As soon as she had however Luna tapped Spike on the shoulder which caused him to jump so high he got his spikes stuck in the ceiling. As he desperately tried to free himself Luna started to speak.

"Spike I apologize, but have you also noticed a certain change in my sister? Tia doesn't seem herself, so I have a favor to ask you. Twilight will probably know what's going on so please tell her of my sister's action so that she may inform me." Luna flew away with one powerful pump of her wings leaving Spike stranded on the ceiling. After 20 minutes of pulling and pushing he fell onto the cold floor. The purple dragon casually shook his head and started to walk down the corridor. It's quite... A little too quite... Suddenly Spike heard a loud shriek coming from the courtyard. He tiptoed across the marble floor as he looked outside, he saw Celestia with her mouth on a young pegasus mare's back, her teeth were digging deep into the flesh and blood was spilling out of the wound. The princess slowly let go of the pegasus and watched as she fell to the ground. Spike was horrified at the scene and made a mad dash toward the door. Completely unaware that Celestia was watching with blank white eyes.

----

Twilight awoke to the sound of frantic knocking on her door and the occasional "Twilight open up!" She groggily brushed her hair and tottered downstairs. When she opened the door Spike frantically sprinted inside. Twilight cocked an eyebrow at her huffing assisstant and decided to ignore it. Instead she went back to her table to take another gander at her book. Spike quickly regained his composure and ran over to Twilight.

"Twilight I have something important to tell you." Instead of saying anything Twilight closed her book and sat down on the floor across from Spike. She motioned for him to do the same. As he sat down Twilight glanced at the book she was reading and at the notes she had taken.

"Okay, so this is really important, albeit a little disturbing." Spike quickly recounted his encounter with Celestia and Luna. As he explained every gruesome detail he saw the horror quickly growing in Twilight's eyes. When he finished the purple unicorn hung her head and sighed. Spike saw that she had taken notes on a particular disease.

"Spike, I know you might not believe me, I can hardly believe me, but I think that a disease is spreading." At this Spike rolled his eyes, thank you Captain Obvious. He picked up the notes as Twilight motioned him to and quickly read through them.

"Spike I think you can guess what happened right?" Spike nodded an affirmative and started gathering supplies for the trip to Canterlot. Twilight stopped him however.

"Spike, our friends should know about this too. This disease spreads pretty fast, it's amazing how Princess Celestia was able to fight off that biting urge for so long, we're gonna need all the help we can get." And as Twilight galloped out of the library another thought came into her mind. Canterlot is supposedly the safest place in Equestria. If the disease is there... Then where else has it spread...

----

Luna paced around her room, her sister had been tranquilized and put in a containment cell. That couldn't mean anything good. The doctors were still trying to figure out what had caused the sudden change of character in the princess while Luna waited impatiently for an answer from Twilight Sparkle. The alicorn stopped her pacing when she heard a knock at the door.Now who could that be? Luna threw open the door harder then she intended to and was shocked to see one of her personal guards standing there with a large bloody ring on his neck that appeared to be a bite mark. His chest was heaving up and down and he was covered in sweat. Luna looked at him with concern in her eyes, she tried to help him into her room but resisted.

"Princess Luna, we have to escort you immediately to Ponyville." Luna was about to ask why but before she could her guard grabbed her and pushed her into her chariot next to a distraught Shining Armor.Quickly, two of her guards started to pull the chariot out of Canterlot. What Luna saw underneath her was the most horrific scene that she had seen in all her years as a princess. Ponies of every size and shape were galloping away from another hoard of ponies. But these were different, the eyes were white and unseeing. Many of the pegasi were missing their wings, only bloody stumps remained. The unicorn's horns were black and charred, unable to be used for magic. Every pony had blood seeping out from under their eye sockets, oozing from their ears and dripping from their mouthes and noses. Princess Luna saw some ponies underneath that she recognized. Princess Cadence (explaining Shining Armors mood), Fancy Pants, Sorrin (Wonderbolts), SpitFire (also Wonderbolts), and her own sister. Luna shook her head in denial, there was no way this was really happening, it must be a dream.

Comments

[Alkem]

Wow this thing went from normal to hell quick.

If you just gave us more detail it would have been a better story. I mean there are few instances where you tried to be descriptive with character's actions but most of the time it was just Character A did this and Character did this. I had some trouble understanding where characters were quite a bit.

Create paragraphs. You only spaced stuff when you were transitioning scene, which even then were hard to follow. Also create a space when characters are speaking

"Like this!"

Ok as for the story:
I might be poking a little deep into the story, but I find it rather funny that Twilight was reading up on the exact thing that was plaguing Celestia. I mean what are the odds.

Also you'd think someone would notice Celestia as her health was deteriorating. I mean I wouldn't say it straight to her face but I would probably ask those around her something like,

"Is Princess Celestia alright? I mean she looks like hell."

Luna asks Spike to send word to Twilight quickly, but leaves him with his spikes pinning him to the wall. What a bitch. And talking about Spike, he must be as fast as Sonic the hedgehog to have made it back to Ponyville from Canterlot in under one night.

There's quite a few other things I found the left me scratching my head but the last one i'll mention is that Celestia was in a cell an tranquilized, but when she was being evacuated she noticed her down there with them. I mean there's also the fact of how the disease spread so fast, but it I think to hard about it I might go and break something.

---

Okay, I just went over the other chapters.
As I said the pacing is quick and you need work on punctuation and grammar as well as spacing.

Also, unless Pinkie or one of the other girls was hollering out to the rest of Ponyville to evacuate as they ran to Sweet Apple Acres, which wouldn't make any sense seeing how she and the others weren't aware of any zombies in town, I don't see why Ponyville had ponies already fleeing from it. Unless those zombie got a tip from Spike on how to run so fast or something.

[Wolf Counsler]

Not Bad

[upfrontcarmine]

it was pretty good, just work on detail and paragraphs and i think you'll have a near perfect story

then again you are multiple chapters in so it may have already been fixed