Pinkie Pie Blows up Ponyville

by ReikoRye

You wanted to know Everything

Pinkie Pie Blows Up Ponyville Pt. 2
by
ReikoRye

You came back right on time. I'm a pretty serious pony when it comes to being on time. Though most ponies don't share my feelings about that. What are you looking at? My mane? Oh, its nice right? One of the girls here wouldn't leave me alone until I let her style it. Now I have a pesky long braid and curled bangs. In short, I look terrible, but enough about my hair problems. You're here for the story and luckily there is more to tell. Now, I can't say for certain that all the facts of this part of the story are correct. Suffice it to say I was considerably stressed out at the thought of a friend being in the hospital at the actions of another.

After the town hall was cupcaked into little more than ragged splinters and Rainbow Dash carted off to the local hospital things got a bit out of hand. If Pinkie was known for anything is that no matter how random she may appear to be she had a theme that arched over all her actions. So it wasn't exactly a secret of whom the culprit was. The problem came when it came time to actually do something about it. Pinkie Pie was a mare of considerable standing purely by virtue of her popularity. Children loved her, everyone knew her, and she knew everything about everyone. The same attention to detail that made her exceedingly great at throwing parties also made gave her an unlikely boon. It was couple of long days of town meetings before anyone even wanted to think about doing anything. Some just said it was Pinkie being Pinkie while others were less inclined to let her go without being chastised. At least, that is what Applejack told me. I had taken up a bedside vigil while Rainbow Dash was in the hospital. In true Dash fashion she had done more damage to herself than the cupcake bomb did. Plowing into Derpy to get the peasus away from the blast had knocked her unconscious and broke her nose. Though she was too close for comfort, the explosion gave her more bruises that actual lasting injuries. She'd have a scar though.

“It's cool, Twilight. Besides, all the awesome heroes have scars.”, the wily pegasus reassured me as I sat with her. “Also, who doesn't dig scars? I mean pegasi will be lining up at my door to get a piece of me now that I got a hero scar! So don't sweat it girl.”, she said which turned out not to be as preposterous as it sounded. She already had the nurses quite caught though she wasn't into mares very much. Or was she? Dash is a very hard read and understandably so considering us mares outnumber you colts statistically. I read in a book that by Griffin standards pony society is very progressive favoring females over males. I'll take that scowl as a sign that I am getting off track? Yes? Yes. Well, to make a long story short Dash had taken a high yield blast and lived to tell the tale. Tell it she did as I left the hospital to see the town sans town hall going about its regular business. Derpy was even delivering the mail in her comically terrible fashion. It was the first time I had noticed that Ponyville was like that. A great and horrible event happens and the townsponies just bounce back to their routine.

Though I could see that the town was not quite back to business as usual when Pinkie Pie came trotting down the street huge grin on her face. That wide shiny smile as she bounced hither and thither like she owned the place. Everyone on the street greeted her like always, but they shook while they did it. Carrot Top knocked over her stand and Rose in all her fainting glory did just that. I swear that mare was half fainting goat! She fainted all the time! Usually after screaming “The Horror! The Horror!”, but that day it was just a faint. Even Mayor Mare greeted the town party planner cordially, but she had a tinge of anger in her eyes. As I would come to find out later the mayor lost some personal items of great importance during the blast. Pinkie being her cheerful self replied eagerly and sometimes nearly breaking into song. She was exuberant on that day! It was as if she had mastered so great meaning of life.

Huh? What do you mean I'm making it to dramatic? Its my story and I'll do as I please! Well you didn't complain last visit. Well too bad, cause I'm not changing it. I wrote it out and rehearsed it so changes are out of the question. What? You don't rehearse telling a story to others? Right...It's just something I do apparently. Anyway, moving on. I narrowed my eyes and marched right up to Pinkie Pie and spun her around. “Why'd you do it, Pinkie? Why'd you blow up the Town Hall?”, I asked her straight away which caused the daily street bustle of Ponyville to stop. Pinkie ran a hoof over her fluffy mane pulling into a straight sheet of hair that hung over her right eye and said, “Because I felt like being a bad little pony. You ever feel like that Sparkle flank? Ever want to be a bad little pony with all those books?”, her voice low pitched and cool as ice. For a moment a fell to my haunches and let Pinkie just tower over me with that straight pink mane and I felt myself flush at what she said. I don't even know why I had that response. Pinkie gave her normal smile and shook her mane back to its usually cotton candy fluff and laughed. “Wow Twilight! You look so funny, your face is red like a tomato or maybe an apple. OH! A cherry, definitely a cherry or maybe a beet? You're like all the reds combined Twilight that's so funny! Do you like my bad guy voice, huh huh huh?”, she said bounding around me in a circle a stood. The blush draining from my face once direct eye contact was broken.

What? I do not like that sort of thing! Hey, you don't know me like that and she just caught off guard with stupid voice. You haven't met Pinkie so you don't know what life is like around her. She's crazy by default, but in a good way. Yet, she has this way of looking you in the eyes and making you feel I don't know... Small I think is the best way to describe. It is like she's really two ponies the normal Pinkie we see all the time and then another you only see when she has her eyes on yours. Like the other Pinkie is trying to grope your brain or something. Either way, I was embarrassed and Pinkie was still bouncing around. So I steeled my resolve and grabbed her again and said, “Stop playing games Pinkie and answer me! Why did you blow up town hall, Derpy and Dash got hurt because of it.” To this the she just looked up in the sky and sighed deeply. “I don't have an actual answer for you, silly. I did it because exploding cupcakes are funny. Derpy and Dash weren't supposed to be there, but I think I put the time on upside down. I'll double check it next time Pinkie Promise.”, she said in way that I guess was supposed to make me feel better. She even patted me on the head.

I was stunned to silence. Here she was trying to comfort and reassure me that the NEXT explosion would be done better. Not that she was sorry or that she was gonna stop and seek help, but that she would simply do better. One does not simply recover from words such as those. Luckily, Mayor Mare was there to speak her peace. “Pinkamina Diane Pie.”, she said in a stately manner. “You are one of the Elements of Harmony and one of Ponyville's most influential ponies. What example do you set for others by committing wanton acts of sugary destruction?”, she questioned as if putting Ponyville party pony on trial. Pinkie bounced on to a soap box and cleared her throat. Yes, you heard me a soapbox. We were standing next to Clean Sweep's stall, he sales soap and brooms. As I was saying, she bounced onto a soap box and cleared her throat. “I did what I did for comedy! Ponyville is lovely as are it's citizens and if I, Pinkie Pie, free this town from the clutches of old comedy then it is my duty. Laughter is an explosion of emotion and I am the Element of Laughter. The one charged with laughing in the face of danger.”, she declared in a great oration that even put the mayor's stately voice to shame. “Laughter is an explosion and the way I see it explosions are laughter! Tell me Ponyville do you want Laughter?”, she cried out to which the gathering crowd shouted, “YES!”.

Mayor Mare was flustered, not so easily swayed by the rich words of the mare whom blew up her prize collection of Stallion's Weekly. No, she would be having none the pink bomber's games, but sadly the town was entranced. “Then I ask that you let me blow up Ponyville for the sake of your Laughter! Let sugary smoke and frosting streak the town with chortles and guffaws.”, she asked reaching out a hoof that made the crowd reach theirs toward her. This was madness of the highest order. Can you believe that? Well, at least you're willing to entertain the possibility. Mayor Mare stamped off to who knows where, but she shot me a sour look over her shoulder that said I was responsible for this crazy pony. It is not the first time she's done that in truth. So I did the only thing I knew to do besides spearing Pinkie like a whale with my horn. I wrote the Princess a letter asking for her assistance, but in all her glory she only replied with a suggestion I'd rather not elaborate on. As long as I have studied under Princess Celestia she has always had an oddity about her ways of helping someone. One time, I couldn't understand how teleportation magic worked and so she offered to give me a special lesson. She nudged me off the balcony of her study. It helped to be sure, but now I have a phobia of being gently shoved off high places. Other times she just gives you an answer that seems completely unnecessary or lewd.

Back to the story. So the Princess was no help, Mayor Mare was pissed, the townsponies were duped, and Rarity seemed oddly perky. Well more perky than usual I guess. I love Rarity, you'll never find a greater friend who will give you the saddle off her back and then re-style just for you in the same instant. She can be a handful though, which was expected of someone like her. I knew she had known at least that Pinkie was making these exploding cupcakes and had chosen to keep it a secret. Pinkie Promise or not I wanted that mare to give me some answers! So I went to her boutique and barged right in. “Why if it isn't my marvelously bookish friend, Twilight! Come in dear you just have to let me get you into this gown I'm styling for Sapphire Shores. It can be our little secret.”, Rarity said as I came into the shop. I wish I could tell you that I made some sort of uproar about not being distracted from my mission. I can't so I won't. I let that fashion pony literally SEW me into the custom order gown she made for Shores! Why are you laughing?! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity and who else can say they got into Sapphire Shores frock? You sure can't, but I can! I enjoyed every minute of it, but then I actually got to business.

“Rarity I heard you and Pinkie talking the night I had my date with Filithy Rich.”, I said to her as she was busy trying to get the snug fitting garment off me. “Oh, dahling tell me how did your date go?”, she replied completely tuning out the part that mattered. By the way, Filthy Rich kicked his wife out. So back in there. “Don't play coy with me you marshmallow. I heard to and Pinkie talking about exploding cupcakes.”, I told her trying to get forceful. The only thing I got was a swift jab with a sewing needle. “Tell me about your date, sweetie!”, Rarity continued while I had to keep from toppling over. Rarity's a tricky one, she knows all the tender spots on the equine body from all the dress making. So questioning her while she could prick me might have been a less than favorable decision. “Damn it, Rarity! He said we could still be friends and start that book club, but his wife was coming back! Now answer me! What do you know about Pinkie Pie and the cupcakes?!”, I yelled at her. You should have seen me, half dressed and red faced. That walking fashion marshmallow of a pony jabbed me again, but this time really dug the needle in. I gasped and lost all ability to stand upright. “Pinkie told me she was going to make cupcakes that were packed with flavor. Flavor and the necessary components for an explosion.”, she said casually as she pulled the pin away and stripped me of the gown. All I could do was try not to pass out from the sharp pain in my side. “Why did you stab me so deep?”, I remember murmuring to her as she trotted away with the garment. “That was for screaming at me. Dahling you know I get nervous when somepony screams at me. Also for not snagging yourself that rich stallion! I told you that book talk wasn't going to keep him, you needed to give him 'that'.”

When I was finally able to get back to my hooves. Rarity was just laying on her sofa, sipping tea and watching me. I have to admit it was creepy, like she was sizing me up. “Twilight, I'm going to tell you this for your own good. Pinkie Pie isn't like us other ponies and you should know that by now. She came from a rock farm of which there are few. That alone just screams danger in a can, dahling. Let Pinkie do as she pleases. It is for the best unless you want to get hurt.”, she told me as if she were suddenly made of so much ice. Just as I was about to question her lack of caring a sharp blast came from outside and Applejack flew through the boutique's picture window. “Applejack are you ok?!”, I screamed as I rushed to her side. She was worse for wear, yet surprisingly still conscious. That girl is as tough as nails. “Tried...to stop..Pinkie. Blew up barn with apple cupcakes. Was pretty funny, but I just had to try and stop her. Watch out Twi, she's dangerous if you try to stop her.”, she carried on before finally passing out. Needless to say, I was shocked. Rarity on the other hand was still just laying on her sofa sipping her tea. “Talk about eye candy. I dare say I like Applejack when she's laying on my floor like that. She looks positively vulnerable.”, she said with a wicked grin creeping across her lips.

Just to mention this quickly, Rarity is possibly the most aggressive pony I know when it comes to...physical relations. That mare is into some weird stuff and she'll tell you about it if you ask her. Sometimes even if you don't. Anyway, just as I was about to go after Pinkie, Applejack suddenly sprung from his unconscious state and latched on to me. “Find Fluttershy and ask her to give you the Pink Buster...Only way to stop Pinkie...Also Spike said to bring home some milk cause you're out. Met him..on the long flight...over to window...”, and then she fell over again unconscious. Dependable till the very last bit of her fortitude that AJ. I would have never gotten that milk if she didn't say anything. Well looks like time is up today. The next part has more stuff in it, but you said you wanted to know everything so this covers the everything part at least for now.

Comments

[FawtyTwo]

This story is really great!! No, wait... It's fantastic!! I love the way the story is told, that makes it 20% cooler!

[TheDorkside99]

Oh Celestia, this IS fantastic!

I love the way Twilight is speaking to the reader as if she and him/her were sitting and having an afternoon tea. I also like the bits of comedic jabs at her friend's characteristics (loved AJ's reminding to buy milk!). Aside from a few spelling errors, I'd say this is one of the more interesting fics I've seens that doesn't take itself seriously, even though the premise can become one. It's like watching an episode of Seinfeld.

Great work and I hope you continue it soon