Who would have thought that the spirit of chaos, Discord, who had twice tried to plunge the entire land of Equestria into chaos, would had been reformed and befriended by the current element of kindness, Fluttershy? Or that the two would often spend many an afternoon at her cottage, often with some refreshments as they talked about things such as animals and chaos-based magic.
One day, while discussing their favorite things, Fluttershy brought up the subject of his chaos-grade, cotton candy and chocolate milk raining clouds, and how when he used them when terraforming the land into a chaotic world, Pinkie Pie, the current element of laughter, had quite enjoyed them and had missed them when he was turned to a statue again.
Discord was shocked at this revelation. The rest of the Mane 6 were not always appreciative or, um, well... not very appreciative of his when he heard about his chocolate milk raining, cotton candy clouds being appreciated by somepony other than himself, he felt admiration for Pinkie Pie's enjoyment.
And thus an idea spawned in his head, one that would show just how grateful he truly was.
Pinkie Pie bounced towards the Sugarcube Corner. A mysterious letter had puffed before her in a burst of purple smoke, well more like lilac smoke, and she had opened it to see an invite to meet somepony at the cafe at exactly 2:00 p.m this following day.
Her first thought of who the mysterious person might be was Spike, but then she remember that he was helping in Princess Twilight's new castle. So while she was thinking about who could be from, she turned around the corner and towards Sugarcube Corner. She bounced towards it, heading in with a flying leap.
"HELLOOOOOOO, MYSTERY FRIEND," she called out, hoping to make herself and whoever they were clear. No one except Mr. and Mrs. Cake with their twins, little Pound and Pumpkin Cake. It couldn't be any of them, could it?
Pinkie took a step forward and realized how hard and smooth the ground was beneath her hooves. She looked down and saw she was inside a metal tub, just big enough for her. She twisted her head confusedly at it, as it had not been there a moment before.
"Hey, who put this tub here," she asked. "Are we mashing grapes for some grape recipe?"
"No, but we can do that later if you like, Miss Pie," a voice from nowhere stated, but it sounded very familiar. She looked over to the Cakes, but they were too absorbed in their activities to have been the one who said that.
"Discord! I know you're hiding somewhere," Pinkie cried out and stuck out her hoof and started pointing it all over the room. She finally noticed something out of the ordinary. A smile with a small fang sticking out to the side appeared. A magical set of sparkles rose up from the floor and from out of nowhere a body materialized to match it.
"Brilliant deduction, Pinkie Pie. Now, did I hear correctly, or do you like my cotton-candy and chocolate milk rain clouds?" Pinkie stared at him shocked for a moment before bouncing up into the air and grasping onto his face and dangling from it while looking directly into his eyes.
"Are you kidding me? Those things are the best things EVER!" Discord grinned and picked off Pinkie off his face and into the metal tub again. He snapped his fingers and in a flash of light, an umbrella hat appeared over her head.
"Well you're in for a real treat. Behold, my famous cotton-candy and chocolate milk rain clouds, made especially for you," Discord said and a cloud appeared over her head and began pouring down on her. Pinkie squeed and giggled in delight and instantly began to allow the chocolate milk goodness into her mouth through aid of the hat and the swirly straw provided nearby.
"Best day ever!"
After a half an hour of the choco-rainstorm, Discord caused it to recede and put the cotton candy cloud on a stick for Pinkie to enjoy it while a regular raincloud rained regular water on her to clean her off. As soon as the last of the chocolate milk was off her pink fur, she hopped out of the tub and shook to dry herself off. Her fur and mane poofed out to outrageous amounts of fluff before it suddenly all retracted back to her usual; appearance.
"Man, that was the best cotton candy and chocolate milk cloud I've ever tasted. Thanks Discord," Pinkie yelled and hugged the draconequus. Discord appeared shocked at the sudden gesture, but slowly wrapped his lion arm and his eagle arm around her. It felt good to feel someone's gratitude and praise towards you.
Though as soon as it happened, it was over. Pinkie Pie started bouncing out the door, but before she left, she turned and waved to him.
"Well, bye Discord. Thanks for the snack! We should do it again sometime," she called and was out the door. Discord watched as she bounced away, the warm feeling of the hug still tingling over him.
"Goodbye, Pinkie Pie," he whispered before teleporting back to Fluttershy's cottage. She was reading a book on the couch when he came back. She set the book down as she saw him come in.
"Oh, hello Discord. How was your day? Did Pinkie like the surprise?"
"Yes, yes. It was a very... mm... happy and fun occasion. Now, do you know where the pen, ink and paper are? I wish to write a letter" he said. Fluttershy nodded and flew over to the cabinet and retrieved the items.
"Thank you, Fluttershy," he said and he laid all the things out on the table and began writing.
"Do you need any more help?"
"No, no. I got everything I need," he replied. After dotting the last period, he folded the letter up and snapped his other hand so the letter flashed in a burst of light and went somewhere else.
"Who was the letter for," she asked. Discord grinned.
"Oh, you know, just a regular, ordinary letter to someone we know?"
Meanwhile, at Canterlot Castle
Princess Celestia was resting in her private study when the letter Discord wrote flashed in. She levitated it with her horn and unwrapped it before setting it down on her desk.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that doing nice things for others make you feel nice too. I learned that today by inviting another pony aside from Fluttershy over to enjoy some of my cha-, I mean magic.
Making somepony else happy made me realize that it made me happy knowing I was responsible for bringing joy to that somepony. I must look more into this.
Love Sincerely yours Discord.
P.S. Would you like one of my clouds? I can have it freshly delivered if you like.
Celestia smiled and folded up the letter neatly and placed it into her own, private filing cabinet, one where she kept only her most personal and cherished things in. She set it neatly on a stack with a few other photos and letters before locking it.
She then walked back to her couch before she heard something rumble over her head. She looked up to see a pink cloud hovering over her head, ready to pour its contents over her. She gritted her teeth, realizing what the letter meant at the end.
"Discord, you shameless draconequus," she grumbled. And the first chocolate drops began to fall on her.
I always did feel that Pinkie would have been more suited to reform Discord. No offense to Fluttershy, but I don't know what Celestia asked her to reform the Spirit of Chaos instead of the most chaotic pony in Ponyville, possibly Equestria.
That was really nice. A good wrapping up point for a chapter, and I noticed you left this story as incomplete? Excellent! I shall put this to my tracking and favorites immediately!!!
I excitedly await the next chapter!
Celestia needs a parade to go with that chocolate rain.
I'm confused.
Is this set before season 6, when Trixie does return to Ponyville? Or is something else up?
Warning: Extremely subjective views in a long comment! Take my words with a grain of salt.
The story is quite quick. I know it is meant to be bite-sized, but it's almost too quick. You should focus more on Pinkie-Discord interaction through dialog and better fleshing out the pre-interaction and post-interaction exposition. For example: would she be so willing to accept a gift from Discord at face value? Why would she just hug him and bounce off? I mean, we all know Pinkie is a very busy pony with all the parties and whatnot, but she could make some time for a new friend (and I guess this does qualify as Discord "officially" befriending Pinkie).
But don't add unnecessary conflicts to artificially produce intrigue.
Overall: a neat little story. Good job!
Suggestions:
- Add slice of life tag
- Change it to 'complete'. Unless you plan to expand it.
- Rework the description a bit, removing the "No Pairings" warning. We need to get to the story with only the necessary information; this could kind of spoil it given how it hints at something going on between the two (not necessarily shipping).
And now, onto the more technical stuff:
Not wrong... but it doesn't flow as well as "current element of kindess" or "current bearer of the element of kindness".
Repetition
What did they talk about? Just because this is a fic to explore the interaction of Discord and Pinkie, it doesn't hurt to have a side-portion of Discord-Fluttershy character interaction.
I always feel like "fandom-established" nicknames of this sort don't belong in a story.
Though it is good to have the narrator mirror some of the characters' though processes, I always expect that this sort of pause to happen when a character happens to be the narrator.
I don't think Fluttershy appreciates them, though... for all the trouble they seem to have caused her friends (sans Pinkie) in the past. But not necessarily wrong.
Not wrong, but... you know...
Remembered. Also, is the 'princess' title necessary before our good old Twi? Maybe. If so, capitalize the first P.
We need to establish via exposition, prior to this sentence (or even in the description, methinks), a time-window for this story to be happening in. Not necessary, but I mean, we are in Season 6 and Trixie has made a comeback.
Who could be what? Who could the letter be from?
Not really a necessity to repeat the last names. Not necessarily wrong either.
How did Pinkie end up inside a big tub? Not by stepping carelessly. Maybe she pronked inside it?
We just were told that Mr. and Mrs. Cake (and the twins) were there. No comment from them regarding the giant tub and/or an answer to Pinkie's question? None at all? Okay...
Could be worded better.
Besides the tub, that is? Hmmm... etherealized? Manifested? Came to be?
If we--fans of the show who know who Discord is and looks like--do then there's little need to point it out.
Discord? Straight to the point? No mind games? None? Okay...
But what exactly is a medium-sized cloud's length and width? I'm kidding, of course.
Cute, Mr. Narrator. But detracts from the flow.
Receed
I'm not sure Pinkie would appreciate this. I mean, fur is tough to dry. My dog would say... But you could add it if you work Discord talking her into it.
Jokes aside, you could add to this part, specifically. Lot's of room for building up and fleshing character interactions were missed.
It's not like it's hard to notice the flash and clap of a teleportation...
Yes, he likes Flutters a lot. But would he be uttering the word "dear" when referring to her at every turn?
You're not a newspaper writer that wins money per word written. You can use question marks. Especially when the "she asked" becomes repetitive.
Too
This is a sentence I very much enjoyed in your fic. It neatly captures Discord's somewhat... confused emotions at doing a kind gesture out of kindness itself. This sentence actually speaks volumes! Great job with this one!
I don't think we need its complete name every time the cloud is mentioned.
Repetition. How about locking instead of jamming the drawer close?
And another little tidbit I could pick from it. You start a lot of sentences with "she this" or "he that". Try playing around with different sentence openers.