When a hero's true colors are shown, the ones who are there for you will do anything for vengeance.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The exact words that Rainbow Dash said to the bolts in my fanfic. I guess we both share the same hatred towards them. Cool!
again, you had something really interesting in the first fic (because the antagonists in that one were genuinely douchebags even though now looking back on it you did go overboard a bit but the punishment fits the crime etc. etc.), now it's just kinda... devolving into some comedically demented pity-filled gorefest that's probably meant to represent your uber vendetta against the Wonderbolts but honestly it could do with a bit less of the theatrics
I mean, if this is meant to be in the style of a Broadway musical, then I guess it works, because you've certainly thrown in a few songs
from some series that are not MLP as shown here but stilland the dialogue is reminiscent of something off the stage, but honestly, I don't think it translates well to fanfictionplus it really suffers from all of the disproportionate retributions towards characters plus the overly cocky/angry/vengeful attitudes of the characters, and I get it, it's meant to be your take on these characters, but again, I feel that you're making the Wonderbolts this way because of your extreme hatred of them and you want to see them suffer in any way you can - and if the next story in this series is about the Magical Ultra Super Powerful Heroic Guardian Templar Dinosaurs That Everyone Loves And They're Gods And Shit and Dame Duchess Madame de Rainbow Dash getting revenge on another character/set of characters you hate (or perhaps burning the EqG world down if you hate that sort of thing), then honestly I'm wondering if stories like these are your outlet for things you don't like
I mean, dinosaurs were big and powerful and some of them were quite good at hunting/killing/maiming/destroying things - good for "taking care" of what/who you hate, innit? actually, someone should do a spin-off of these where a herbivore dinosaur comes to Equestria and he's requested to join your Mighty Morphin' Power Dinos and he's just like "bitch I'm a vegan fuck off"
tbh I know I'm probably gonna get a lot of flak for this and I'm gonna be told "don't like don't read lol" or "your opinions aren't welcome here because you're wrong/mean/cranky etc. lol" but whatever, it's just my thoughts on where the hell this is going - write whatever the hell you want to write, but keep in mind that it may seem like a good idea at the time, but much later you might look back on this and go "oh god what was I doing"
don't get me wrong, the Wonderbolts have their faults but nobody is perfect plus how can someone have so much hatred for canon fictional characters
tl;dr: sequels aren't always gonna be as good than the original
I like the reference of Twilight Breaking Dawn in there