Page generated in 0.016 seconds
Total duration
1,122 users online
1,659,078 hits today, 1,872,792 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Couple things I've noticed while reading, you often use "site" instead of "sight". Like when something is in sight. Site is a location while Sight is visual.
For the line, "In a panic I wrapped the machete in my magic and started to rip the machete out of his mouth." In my opinion, I feel like replacing the second "the machete" with "it" would make it come together better. Since you already referenced the item once, you don't need to do it again.
The other thing, the first "Dear Diary" is spelled Dairy instead. :P
Loving it so far. :D