Ponyville Millionaire's Club

by Inspector Brown

The Trial of the Cyphers

“Are you sure you should be telling me this?” Applejack said, adjusting the towel she had wrapped around her hair. “I thought the Millionaire’s Club was all a hush-hush, cloak-and-dagger, I-would-love-to-tell-you-but-then-I-would-have-to-kill-you type of operation?”

“It certainly is that,” Rarity said, wiping the sweat from her brow. “But, like I said, I’m not a member yet, so I don’t think I’m bound by the same rules as them. And I simply had to tell somepony I was invited to join!” Rarity tittered excitedly at the mere mention of her invitation. “That’s why I asked you to join me at the spa, so I could share it with you privately. If I end up joining, it cannot get out that I was ever invited. You won’t say a word, will you?”

“Your secret is safe with me, Rarity,” Applejack responded.

“Oh, I can’t wait until tonight!” Rarity gushed. “I wonder who I’ll get to meet when I finally join the Ponyville Millionaire’s Club?”

“There’s no way to tell,” said Applejack. “Nopony will admit to being a member. That’s why it’s a secret society, remember?”

“Yes, but the club clearly only invites those residents of Ponyville who are millionaires, hence the name,” Rarity said. “So, I expect the Riches to be there, not to mention Bronze Serpent and Copper Coin.”

“Who?” asked Applejack.

“Silver Spoon’s parents,” Rarity explained. “Mr. Serpent is a doctor at Ponyville General Hospital, and you know how much doctors get paid.” She winked at her friend.

“Oh, yeah,” said Applejack. “I think I met them at some sort of parent-teacher conference, or something.” Applejack rewrapped her towel to cover her face.

“But beyond them, I don’t really know of many ponies who are so public about their finances,” Rarity admitted. “I suppose Davenport might be, though one must wonder how many quills and sofas it takes to earn one million bits. I’m sure Mayor Mare is paid pretty well. Then again, she’s only a local politician, so not exactly millionaire potential there.” Suddenly, Rarity gasped. “Of course! All that suspicious talk about secret ponies only ever being up to no good? Saying she got invited, but threw her invitations away? It was all a part of the act, to keep it a secret, that little minx! Can you believe her?” Rarity waited patiently for Applejack to answer her. But the orange earth pony didn’t even acknowledge that she had been spoken to. So, Rarity tore the towel away from her face with her magic.

“What?” Applejack said, annoyed.

“I am talking about Twilight Sparkle being a member of the Millionaire’s Club!” Rarity said. “It makes perfect sense! She’s a princess, she owns that massive crystal castle, she gets a handsome stipend from the Royal Treasury, and she hardly spends any of it. Not only that, but her royal duty is to spread the magic of friendship across the land, so it would only make sense to join a secret society to make new friends! Obviously, she only pretended to be paranoid about secret ponies doing secret things at secret times to throw us all off the scent. Understandable, of course, this is a ‘secret’ society after all.” She looked back and saw that Applejack had replaced the towel over her face. She yanked it away again. “Applejack, are you even paying attention?”

Applejack huffed. “Look, I get that you’re excited about being a member of this club, and you want to find out who’ll be there. I’m happy for you, I am. But I’m a working pony, and I don’t much care for gossip besides. So, as far as I’m concerned, the membership roster and the secret meetings of some fancy club of millionaires is none of my business. And I really don’t feel like talking about it while I’m trying to relax.” With that, she took her towel back, and wrapped it around her face once more.

Rarity didn’t blame her. The main reason she chose to spill her guts to Applejack was that she knew the farm pony was like a levee to the flow of gossip. Maybe she should have invited Fluttershy instead. Fluttershy would have played her guessing game. But Applejack was right. As much as she would have loved to figure out who was and wasn’t in the club before finding out herself, it was a waste of effort. Whether she was right or wrong, she couldn’t share that information with her friends. After all, once she was a member, she’d have to keep their confidence and not reveal any of the club members’ names. With a sigh, Rarity pushed the thought from her mind. She’d just have to wait until tonight.

---

Whether it was the cool autumn air, or the thrill of what she was about to do, Rarity wasn’t sure. But something was giving her a terrible chill than ran from her snout to her tail. She left the boutique at 6:45 that evening, and started trotting a familiar path that led into town. Along the way, she passed by the floating cloud house that belonged to Rainbow Dash. Seeing a friend’s house made Rarity tense; she didn’t want to be forced to explain where she was going. Thankfully, Rainbow didn’t think to poke her head out the window at just that moment. Get a hold of yourself, mare! Rarity chided herself. You don’t want the millionaires to think you’re a total basket case, do you?

Rarity kept going, taking the long worn route that led back to her parents’ house. She found Viking Street easily enough, though it had seen better days. The cobblestones had come loose in many places, leaving a constellation of potholes. She looked nostalgically at her next door neighbor’s house, trying to find the spot where the lightning had hit it. But the remodelers had done such a fine job of covering it up, the only way anypony would know it had been hit is if somepony witnessed it firsthand. Those Millionaires sure knew how to pick ‘em. When she came to her parents’ house, Rarity quietly tiptoed past. Rainbow was one thing, but how was she supposed to explain this to her parents? And Sweetie Belle? No, she had to keep them in the dark. She had to press on.

House number 385 looked exactly the same as it did when she was a filly; wooden walls, thatched roof, overhanging second floor, just like every other house on the block, and most of the houses in Ponyville. She passed this house on her way to school every morning. All that time, she thought this secret club met in a dark alleyway, when they were right under her noses the whole time. It made sense, now that she thought about it. The best place to hide something is right in plain sight, after all. She trotted up to the door, and checked her pocket watch. 7:02 pm, it read. She was right on schedule. She knocked on the door.

“We are not expecting company.”

A chorus of voices echoed from behind the door. Male and female alike, they spoke neither harmoniously nor discordantly. However, they spoke in perfect unison, thus amplifying their volume. It startled Rarity at first. Then the voices spoke again.

“This is a private matter, outsider. Unless you are the one we want, go away!”

How many voices were there? Five? Six? Seven? More? Whoever these ponies were, and however many of them there were, it was clear they had rehearsed this. Behind that door was a group of ponies who knew each other well enough to plan something in secret. But they were so hostile, and they said they weren’t expecting anyone. Did Rarity stumble upon another secret society by mistake? She double checked the number on the house, to make sure she had the right address. Nope, this was where the invitation sent her. She knocked again, and the voices came back.

“Are you the one we are expecting, intruder? State your name!”

At last, an invitation to begin a dialogue. “I am Rarity, owner of Carousel Boutique. I was invited here tonight by the Ponyville Millionaire’s Club. May I please come in? It is dreadfully cold out here.”

After a moment, the door swung open, revealing a small foyer. Beyond that, Rarity could scarcely make out a dimly-lit living room. There was nopony inside that she could see. Were they hiding from her? She stepped inside to get a better look. As soon as she crossed the threshold, the door slammed shut behind her, leaving her in complete darkness. She froze. If these ponies were trying to put the fear of Celestia in her, it was working. She fired up her horn with a small light spell.

“Douse your horn at once, outsider!” screamed the voices. “You have not yet earned the right to see the inside of this house!”

Rarity did as she was told. While her light was only on for a few seconds, she did manage to glimpse the muzzles of three of the ponies in the room as they were talking. They stood in a line, one yellowish-brown, one bright red, and the last a light blue. She understood now why they were speaking in unison, to merge their individual voices into a new one, so their identities would remain concealed as they spoke to her. It worked, at first. But now that she didn’t have the door in her way, Rarity could pick up a few distinct vocal patterns she recognized.

“I understand and respect the need to keep your secrets,” Rarity said, “but you have no right to treat me like an intruder. Need I remind you that you ponies invited me here? I am speaking with the members of the Ponyville Millionaire’s Club, am I not?”

“You were invited here to face a trial. A trial that will determine your worth as a member of our ranks,” said the voices. “Unless and until you prove yourself to us, you shall remain an outsider. Now, are you ready to face your trial?”

“What exactly do you plan to do to me?” Rarity asked.

“That is for us to know, and for you to find out,” said the voices. “Now, step forward.”

Rarity hesitated, but took a trembling step forward when she heard the muffled sound of hoofsteps milling about around her. She moved very slowly at first, wondering if each next step would be one she regretted. Would there be floor under her? Would there be something gross or painful she could step on? Would she bump into something? There was no way for her to tell in the darkness. How were all these other ponies able to move around so easily?

“Stop there, that’s far enough,” said the voices. Rarity sighed with relief. Nothing bad happened at all. “Now, Miss Rarity, if you wish to join the Ponyville Millionaire’s Club, you must face the Trial of the Cyphers!”

At this, the room was lit up with an unsettling yellow light. Rarity look up, and saw six glowing yellow rings above her head, similar to the rings on the invitation she received. At first, she thought the rings were meant to be circles, and were shrunk horizontally to fit on the envelope. But these rings were also taller than they were wide, and appeared to have the same proportions. Also, these rings weren’t linked; they stood separately, side by side in a row. That’s when it clicked in Rarity’s mind. They weren’t golden rings at all, they were zeroes. The six zeroes used to make up the numeral 1,000,000. It was a little clever, and kind of cute and charming. Rarity couldn’t help but chortle at them.

“Silence, infidel!” screamed the voices, which appeared to be coming from the golden cyphers. “You will not speak during this trial, unless you are first spoken to. Each of us will have our turn to interrogate you. You must answer our questions honestly, if you expect to receive that which you deserve. If you lie to us, you will face terrible consequences. Once the six of us are satisfied, will shall render our judgement, which will result in either Membership or Banishment. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” was all Rarity said. She dared not say anything else. Who knew what sort of wrath awaited her if she angered the cyphers again?

“Then, let us begin!”

Rarity heard the distinct sound of a magic spell being dismissed. She reasoned that was what enabled the ponies in the shadows to speak with one voice. But the time for that was past. The glowing zero on the far right moved slightly toward Rarity, and she fought the urge to step back.

“I am Cypher the Unit,” said a mare’s voice, soft and even-toned with the wisdom of age. Although she tried to speak sternly, Rarity could hear a smile hiding in the back of her throat. She knew this pony would rather speak happily, and felt uncomfortable trying to be menacing. “I am always watching, for I am ever-present. Even the absence of worth is marked by my presence. This is my question: Are you proud of what you’ve done?”

Rarity’s voice seized in her throat. What did she mean by that? It sounded like she was accusing her of something terrible, but she couldn’t tell what? It seemed logical to say no. But then again, maybe it was something positive? So, she should say yes, right?

“Miss Rarity, I asked you a question,” said Cypher the Unit, “and I expect an answer.”

“I’m sorry,” Rarity said. “But I don’t understand the question.”

“Think, mare! Does a pony become a millionaire through inaction?”

“No, of course not!”

“Then your fortune is a result of something you’ve done, right?”

“Well, yes, naturally…”

“Then you do understand my question. I’ll ask again: Are you proud of what you’ve done?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Rarity said, her voice fresh with enthusiasm, now that she understood what the Cypher meant. “Because of my creative efforts, ponies across Equestria are discovering their most fabulous selves, which brightens up everypony’s life. Who wouldn’t be proud of that?”

“Thank you, I am satisfied.” The cypher stayed in its place, while the next cypher to the left stepped forward.

“I am Cypher the Ten,” said a stallion, his voice a high tenor, but with an unusual huskiness to it. It almost sounded like he was trying to mask his natural voice. “I am the foundation of the tower that stretches to infinity. This is my question: If you love what you do so much, why do you charge other ponies money for it?”

“Well, that’s a silly question,” Rarity said. “I have to make a living somehow. I need food, I need shelter, and these things cost money, darling. Oh, not to mention the supplies I need to keep my business running, which costs money too.”

“That answer rings hollow,” said Cypher the Ten. “While it’s true that you need these things, and these things cost money, you have so much money already. Surely, you could use some of your massive wealth to pay for the things you need?”

“For a little while, I suppose I could. But that money would be used up eventually, and when it did, I’d still need to eat. So, yeah, I do require a steady stream of income, so I can keep going.”

“Thank you, I am satisfied.” The next cypher to the left stepped forward, joining the other two.

“I am Cypher the Hundred,” said a very raspy voice, likely a mare’s, by its pitch. Unlike Cypher the Unit, this mare’s voice had a very hard edge to it. Rarity could tell this one enjoyed being intimidating. “By compounding the efforts of my brethren, I increase our territory exponentially, and set the example for my brothers to follow. This is my question: Why do you rely on other ponies to feed you?”

Rarity scoffed at that question. “What would you have me do instead? Grow vegetables in my own backyard?”

“Why not? You’d have the food you need, without the risk of the supply being interrupted by unreliable individuals.”

“Because it would be too much work for me. It’s easier to get my food from the kind of ponies who spend their whole day growing food, while I spend my time on what I do best.”

“So you admit that you lack the skill to make your own food, which you need to survive,” said Cypher the Hundred. “Doesn’t that make you less of a pony?”

“No more so than anypony else, I imagine,” said Rarity. “We all have our own unique skills and talents, and no one talent is more or less valuable than any other.”

“Yes, but wouldn’t you be better off if you had your sewing skills and food-growing skills? Why not teach yourself to be skilled at everything?”

“Because the jack-of-all-trades is a master of none,” Rarity answered. “By focusing my time and energy on fashion design, I can make the very best clothes around, which I can then sell to everypony else, so everypony can have the very best.”

“Interesting,” said the cypher. “It’s not the answer I was looking for, but I am satisfied. However, my brother cypher is bound to have a field day with the missing parts of your answer. Heh, heh, heh.” Rarity’s legs twitched as the next cypher stepped forward.

“I am Cypher the Thousand.” This cypher was obviously a stallion. His voice boomed in a low bass, which made the very air quake. This was his natural voice, no question about that. He didn’t even have to try to be intimidating. “I am the pioneer that straddles the boundary between values and statistics. This is my question: Every single bit you have was given to you by somepony else. How dare you call this fortune your own?”

“Because I earned it,” said Rarity. “I provided these ponies with my own unique couture, and they gave me money in exchange for it. They did so of their own free will, nopony forced them to give me their business.”

“So, you admit you took their money,” said the cypher. “Did it ever occur to you that they might be able to use that money for other things, like medicine, or repairs for their home?”

“Perhaps they could. However, I doubt a pony who is in such dire need of medical attention would even think of spending money on my clothing in the first place.” Rarity sensed the cypher was about to speak again. “And just in case your next question is the one I think it is, no, I do not believe it is my place to question the priorities of my customers. Each pony has the right to determine for herself what she will and will not spend her money on.”

“Still, in making yourself more wealthy, you are making your customers less wealthy. Does that not give you pause?”

“Balderdash!” said Rarity. “Buying from my shops does not impoverish my customers. If it did, then I wouldn’t have any repeat business. And if they didn’t value my product more than their own money, they wouldn’t make the exchange at all. Every bit I’ve earned was earned fair and square, and I do not appreciate you insinuating otherwise!”

“My sincere apologies,” said the cypher, “but I had to utilize disparaging words to elicit the answer I sought. I am satisfied.” The next cypher stepped forward.

“I am Cypher the Ten Thousand,” said a mare, her voice elegantly smooth. She sounded like a millionaire, much more so than the other cyphers. Were all the cyphers club members, or were a few of them actors? “In my dominion, the values are of ambiguous magnitude. Depending on the scope and scale, they can be grand, or miniscule. This is my question: You depend on other ponies for most of the things you need. How do you assert your dominance over those who serve you?”

Rarity scoffed once again. “Really, that’s your question? I thought these questions were supposed to get harder the higher up we got. Clearly, you are expecting me to say that I don’t, that I treat everypony with the utmost respect, because they are my equals, and not beneath me at all.”

“Never you mind what I expect you to say,” said the cypher. “Answer the question honestly.”

“I can’t,” said Rarity. “I don’t seek dominance over anypony. That’s my honest answer.”

“I do not believe you. You’ve worked hard to amass a great fortune. That wealth carries a lot of power and clout with it. Do you agree or disagree?”

“I agree, but it’s not like…”

“So, by your own admission, you have power over the poorer ponies. Now tell me how you use that power to exploit the lesser classes.”

“I do no such thing,” Rarity said, stamping her hoof. “Just because other ponies are not as rich as I am, that doesn’t give me license to mistreat them. And I am insulted that you would suggest otherwise!”

“Very well, I am satisfied.” That’s when the sixth and final cypher stepped forward.

“Wait, wait, don’t tell me,” Rarity said. “Cypher the Hundred Thousand, I presume?”

“That I am,” said a stallion, his voice a suave baritone, with a hidden smile not unlike Cypher the Unit’s. If Rarity had to guess, this pony was their club president or something. He had a confidence about him that made his voice magnetic. “I stand at the precipice of greatness. Though my value is high indeed, there is another world just beyond my horizons. My question is this: As my brother before me has said, your great wealth gives you great power. But power that is never utilized might as well not exist. What do you plan to do with your wealth now that you have it?”

“Ah, I was right, you really did save the hardest question for last,” Rarity noted. “I must confess, I did not have a plan for how to spend one million bits. In fact, I never planned on earning one million bits, it just sort of happened.” Rarity chuckled slightly, before letting the silence hang limply.

“I appreciate your candor, Miss Rarity,” said the cypher, “but I still need an answer.”

“I don’t know, I guess I ought to hold onto it, if I am to stay a millionaire.”

“Why would you need to stay a millionaire?”

“So I don’t get ejected from the Ponyville Millionaire’s Club?”

The cypher chuckled quietly. “Never mind that, it’s your money, you can do as you like with it. Let me put it to you this way, what would you like to do with your money?”

“There are many things I would like to do,” Rarity answered. “I could grow my business more, I could donate to worthy causes, I could lend my friends a helping hand when they need it, and maybe indulge myself a little bit as well.”

“Do any of these things take precedence over any other?”

“I don’t see why they have to, I’m a millionaire, for pony’s sake! I have enough money that I can do all of these things, and still have plenty left over!”

“I must admit, your answer was unusual,” said Cypher the Hundred Thousand, “but I am satisfied. So now, we must vote. In order to become a Member, you must receive unanimous approval from the six Cyphers. One vote against, and you’ll be banished from our clubhouse, never to return as long as you live.” The severity of that last statement made Rarity twinge. “Brother Cyphers, what say you?”

“By taking pride in the work she does over the money she makes, Rarity exhibits the virtue of Work Ethic. I, Cypher the Unit, approve her Membership.”

“By continuing to rise each morning, and fulfill the demand for her work, Rarity exhibits the virtue of Perseverance. I, Cypher the Ten, approve her Membership.”

“By focusing on her own unique talents, and relying on others to do what she can’t, Rarity exhibits the virtue of Specialization. I, Cypher the Hundred, approve her Membership.”

“By seeing the increase in value in the eyes of her customers, Rarity exhibits the virtue of Wealth Creation. I, Cypher the Thousand, approve her Membership.”

“By understanding that what she had done, other ponies may yet be able to do, Rarity exhibits the virtue of Humility. I, Cypher the Ten Thousand, approve her Membership.”

“I have a confession to make, my brothers,” said Cypher the Hundred Thousand. “I was merely going through the motions with respect to this ceremony. I had made my decision even before we gave her the invitation. This mare’s acts of generosity have reached beyond the limits of our small town. She once was the bearer of the Element of Generosity, for pony’s sake. I doubt there’s a pony in all of Equestria who doesn’t already know that Rarity exhibits the virtue of Charity. Therefore, I, Cypher the Hundred Thousand, approve her Membership.”

Rarity grinned from ear to ear. She rapidly tapped all four hooves on the floor. She “oooohed” with excitement. She was in, she was really in, she couldn’t believe it!

“Whoa, there, my little pony,” said Cypher the Hundred Thousand. “There’s one more thing we need you to do before you become one of us. You must accept your Membership.”

“I accept!” Rarity was quick to say.

“Not like that, we have a ritual. Now, take your position at my right hoof.”

Although it wasn’t easy to navigate in the dark, Rarity managed to position herself beside the glowing floating zero. She was instructed to turn around, so she did so. When she did, she felt a hat being placed on top of her head. It was off-balance to the right, so she wrapped it in her magical aura to adjust it. Through her invisible touch, she found out that the extra weight came from a large piece of plywood, cut into the shape of a number 1. Then she saw the same yellow light glowing from her hat. She, together with the six cyphers, formed the numeral 1,000,000.

“My fellow millionaires,” said Cypher the Hundred Thousand, “let it be known that Miss Rarity is now and forever our sister. We shall confer upon her all the rights and duties that we confer upon ourselves.” Once again, the cyphers spoke in unison, though without the aid of a spell this time.

“So say the Cyphers, so say we all!”

“So say we all!” said another group of ponies, whom Rarity could not see.

“Okay, let’s get these lights turned on,” said Cypher the Ten Thousand. “It’s time we introduced ourselves to our new sister.”

A flood of fluorescent light filled the space so suddenly, Rarity had to shield her eyes. She found herself in a rather ordinary looking living room, with an old sofa and two easy chairs. She turned around, and saw that all the windows had thick black blinds that were drawn shut, so no light from outside could get in. Through a smallish entryway, she could see the standard suburban kitchen. So far, this didn’t look like the Millionaire’s Club she had always imagined.

Rarity turned her eyes to the living room, and saw a group of about nine or ten ponies facing her and the Cyphers. She turned, and saw six ponies wearing hats with glowing gold zeroes on them. Rarity smiled; they were exactly who she thought they were.

Comments

[fallen starr]

Ugh...you're going to make me wait a whole other chapter, at least, to find out who they are. Okay ni but seriously this was good. The questions were good, I am guessing that dash is in the club, and I can't wait for the next bit.