Violation of Self - The Journals of Princess Luna

by Magenta Gleam

1/23/1018

1/23/1018 A.D.

Dear Journal,

What did I write in my last entry? I can’t believe I was so optimistic, so driven by something so stupid. Red is beautiful but it’s not that important. Do you want to know what I have been doing since I wrote those horseapples? I’ve been sitting on my bed and barely moving. My sister has surrounded my room with barrier and alarm spells. You know I’ve done some stupid things in my life but I may have just topped that.

My fascination with the color red is just more evidence of that. But what I did to bring it about I can’t stop. It is now my addiction. To feel the cool touch of the blade as it trails down my leg, to feel the warm flow of blood as it follows that same path and the stinging pain that comes next. I hate it. I NEED IT.

I don’t want this anymore. I don’t want to LIVE anymore. Everything in life is pain.

I can’t help my subjects because of mistakes I have made and I can’t take care of myself because of more mistakes. That’s what I am. I’m a mistake. I should never have been made a Princess. I don’t deserve my life and I don’t deserve my title. Everypony should just forget about me again.

I think I’ll just hide away here. Only the castle staff and my sister will know of my existence, and maybe I can reduce that by never showing myself to them. My sister should understand, she knows how much I’m suffering, she sees the scars on my legs. I just hope she doesn’t bring that doctor back, his eyes scared me. There was something there, an emptiness I have never seen on anypony before and I don’t want to see it again.

I’m getting tired. Tia can lower the moon. Goodnight.

Luna.

Comments

[Evastarfall]

For some reason i knew this was coming