Longbox One-Shots, Book 1

by EngineGear

The Counselor

The Counselor:

Agent Spike and the Flam brothers must come up with a plan to keep Gilda out of the Heroes Initiative.

Flim and Flam were enjoying their breakfast in a local diner. It was mainly the usual, egg sandwich with waffles and sausage. Suddenly, a news brief pops up from the television; the reporter, a mint-green unicorn, announced the recent events happening in Equestria.

"And thus the battle between wanted fugitive Fluttershy and Spec Ops Gilda ended as you see from this footage," the reporter said. "It clearly shows Fluttershy dominating Gilda in a fight to the death, only to hold back for some reason. Gilda is now being held in custody under the supervision of General Harshwhinny, who was unable to contact several news broadcasts. The whereabouts of Fluttershy are unknown at this time. More updates coming soon. In other news, what started as recurring thunderstorms near Appleloosa turned out to be quite a surprise. Experts were on the scene, where they took footage of what appears to be a major battle between an alicorn and a giant suit of armor. Rainbow Dash has denied any claims of making the suit as the giant suit is now in the custody of W.I.N.G.S. The details are unknown at this time, but one thing's for sure: We're not alone in the universe," the reporter concluded. "Stay tuned for more updates."

"Can't you believe all this, brother?" Flim said, nonchalantly. "One minute, we're enjoying our usual breakfast, and the next minute, the media is going around talking about monsters, alicorns, and a giant suit of armor. You hear all that, and it completely ruins the mode."

"Agreed," said Flam. "It not easy working for W.I.N.G.S., I'll tell you that."

"True, very true," Flim replied. As the brothers continue their conversion, Spike enters the diner in a seemingly pissed off mood. No one else except Flim and Flam noticed.

"Hey Spike, why the long face? Come and pile a seat with us." Flam said jokily. Spike didn't answer. He only asked the waitress for a cup of coffee with cream and sat with the brothers.

"Say, have you tried their waffles? They make the best waffles, you should try some," Flim commented. Spike still didn't answer.

[Flim] Let me guess, it didn't go well as you planned it, did it?
[Spike] NO...no, it didn't. In fact, it went way worse than I expected. The Council threatened to fire me if I ever speak out of turn again.
[Flam] So, We're guessing that they rejected the Initiative?
[Spike] No, of course not. The good news is that they're going to accept the Initiative. Even after the crap Spitfire put them through.
[Flim] So, what the bad news?
[Spike] They want Gilda on the team.
[Flam] GILDA!? That has to be the most idiotic, ill-conceived, and downright suicidal request ever! I mean, have you seen her recent records after she took the super soldier serum? They gave her a second dose and she got even crazier ever since! By the way, the serum wasn't even the real McCoy. She got two doses of an experimental prototype, a dose of Fluttershy's blood, and BOOM! She turns into a freaking abomination of nature itself. And after all that, they want her on the team?! The Red Abomination?
[Spike] They really don't like when you call her that. They threatened to fire anyone mentioning that name.
[Flim] But what about the "Duel of the Titans" incident?
[Spike] They going to pin that on Fluttershy.
[Flam] Fluttershy?!
[Spike] Not the pegasus you want to piss off.
[Flam] Can't the director do something about this outrage?
[Spike] Spitfire can't disobey a direct order from the Council. She ignored them on multiple occasions, but this time, they're insisting that Gilda should be on the team, or else they'll cut down our pay grades.

The three sat quietly, thinking of the predicament situation. Because of the Council's decision, Fluttershy would still be a fugitive while Gilda would be extorted for her crimes and place on the initiative's roster. Spitfire would be forced to acknowledge the fact that she's putting a deranged psycho on the Initiative. Suddenly, Spike's expression changes from pissed off to idealistic.

"Say, what are your clearance levels?" Spike asked.

"Easy, we're both Class 6," Flim replied, but then his voice trailed off. "...just like you." It was at this moment Flim and Flam realized why Spike asked that question.

"You telling us there's a Class 7?", Flam said.

"Technically, there's a total of 10 classes, but I'll cut to the chase. Gilda is under the custody of General Harshwhinny."

"So let me get this straight. The Council wants W.I.N.G.S. to send one of our own guys down to see Harshwhinny and ask for Gilda, who we don't want." Flim asked.

"Exactly," Spike replied.

"I've got it!" Flam exclaimed. "Here's the plan, we'll send in a patsy to sabotage the meeting."

"A patsy?" Spike questioned.

"Exactly," Flim stated. "We need someone to screw it up. Someone so irksome, Harshwhinny will never release Gilda. We could do it. My brother and I make great patsies."

"Of course, you would. Your patsies are "legendary". In fact, when I think of the word "patsy", I thinking of....."

"Alright, Spike!! Our patsies not that great. I mean, when was the last time we let you down with our patsies?"

"Let me think, there was Neigh Orleans, Baltimare, Las Pegasus, and did I forget Manehatten." Neither of the brothers spoke. "Good, I've made my point. For this situation, we need a slightly different skill set. If we want Harshwhinny to refuse this request, then we have to send someone that will truly annoy her. Someone abrasive, arrogant, with little to no respect for authority, someone who will offend the general to her very core-"

"I know, you mean the counsel-" Flam interrupted.

"No." Spike cutting him off.

"We're pretty sure you're describing her," Flim said.

"I know damn well who I'm describing. That's why my answer is no. Just...stop it right now. I'm not calling the Counselor..."

***********

Meanwhile, at a local bar, Harshwhinny sat on a stool, drunk off her ass, and drowning her sorrows away. "Reload", she kept repeating. Suddenly, the bar door opens. A pegasus mare enters with the sunlight blocking out her face.

"Ahhhhh, the smell of defeat....and stale wine. Hate to say, "I told you so," but there was a reason why that super-soldier project was put on ice for a "simple" and "blatant" reason only.

"Dash", Harshwhinny coldly murmured.

"General," Rainbow Dash replied.

"How ironic, you've stopped making weapons for Equestria, yet you became a weapon yourself."

"Touche," Dash commented. "I've been hearing rumors of you having an "unusual problem". "

"You should talk," Harshwhinny said sarcastically.

"You should listen," says Rainbow Dash, in a serious tone.

************

The next morning, Flim and Flam are enjoying their usual at the local diner when Spike comes in, this time in a cheerful tone.

"So, how did it go this time?" Flim asked.

"All I could say is: Mission accomplished. Gilda will remain in her holding cell, for now," says Spike.

"I take that the Counselor outdid herself, yes?" asked Flam.

"Harshwhinny got so mad she tried to have the Counselor removed from the bar. She kicked her out by herself, dragging the Counselor outside and throwing her in the dumpster. The reason why she did it by herself is because the customers and bartender weren't going to remove the Counselor. Apparently, you can't wear Army Dress Blues in a bar, so they thought she was disrespecting her rank."

"So how did that go over?" asked Flim.

"Dash bought the bar. It's scheduled for demolition next week to make way for a panda zoo."

Spike raised his cup "A toast to a job well done." The brothers toasted, knowing that in the end, everything turned out okay for Spitfire and W.I.N.G.S. and Harshwhinny got she deserved: a reprimanding lecture by the Council for disrespecting her rank status.

Author's Note:

Well, here you go guys, the first part in the one-shots. By the way, that mint-green unicorn was Lyra Heartstrings, who perfectly fits the role of Christine Everhart. Stay tuned, folks.