-beep-beep-beep-
"Ugg, why do I have such a hard time getting up so early?" Alex moaned as he slapped the alarm clock, and accidentally broke the old thing to pieces.
"Great! Now I have to repair it when I get back." he muttered again as he ran out the door after getting ready. As he arrived at the school, a large boom resounded from the back of the school.
"OOP! They're already getting started!" Alex said aloud as he ran to the back field and saw seven tanks lined up in a single row in a large hanger. Suddenly a girl with ornge-ish brown hair saw him and waved him over to the group she was standing in.
"So your the new recruit. You better be better than the last group." a sleepy girl with black hair said as she leaned heavily on the girl next to her.
"Nice to meet you too." Alex said sarcastically, as he joined them.
"My name is Miho. So, get into the panzer 4 and show us what you got." the orange haired girl told him as he saw the targets lined every 500 meters.
Alex climbed into the driver's seat of the tank and clumsily maneuvered it into position at the beginning of the targets.
"So you're not a driver, well, move back I want to sleep." The sleepy black haired girl said as she pointed him to the back.
"My name is Yukari, and that is Mako." another girl said as Alex climbed to the loader's position and loaded a shell into the gun.
"I'm Hana. Try sharp shooting." one of the group said as they took their positions.
"Can I aim at any target I want?" Alex asked after they showed him the controls.
"Yes." Miho replied as he shifted the barrel up and aimed at the farthest target at 3500 meters.
"Good." Alex said as he pulled the trigger and a deafening boom rocked the tank and the target disappeared.
"You-you hit it! From this range!" Hana gasped, shocked into silence.
"Well, we'll put you as the new Anteater gunner." Miho said as they all climbed out of the tank.
"Umm, if I have my own hanger, I can come up with something you can add to the team." Alex said kind of nervously, he knew he was treading on thin ice and could make a mistake very badly.
"Ok, you can have the old shed behind the hanger." Miho told him after they blinked in surprise.
"Thanks. I'll have it ready tomorrow." Alex replied as he turned away and walked around the hanger and spotted a rundown, old brick shed with four chimneys sprouting from the top, and two massive double doors next to each other.
"Man what a dump." he thought when he opened the one of the massive double doors and a groan escaped from the building, followed by one of the chimneys keeling over to an odd angle. But still together.
As he walked inside, he saw a large object covered over with a massive tarp. As he walked up to the covered object, Alex saw on a work bench next to it a large, oxidized brass whistle, and picked it up as he walked past.
"What are you doing here little fella?" he mused as he reached the tarp, grabbed a corner, and threw back the cover in a cloud of dust.
"And what are you doing here." he asked as the dust settled over a large steam engine with four large wheels and four smaller ones in the front and six at the rear.
"Well, this will certainly help." he planned as the sun began to set.
With a light blue light shinning through the crack in the door, and hammerings, banging, and clinking sounds resounded through out the school yard as everyone departed except Alex.
Next morning:
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
-Ring-RRing- RRRing-RRRRin-Click!-
"Hello? Yes this is the student president of Oarai High school. How may I help you?"
"...."
"Oh. So you challenge us huh? Well we never back down from a challenge! We accept!"
"..."
-Clack!-
........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
"Mako!" Miho called off the list of attendance for the tankery team.
"Hai." Mako replied tiredly as she slumped on the shoulder of the student next to her.
"Alex!" Miho called out next as she checked the list.
"..."
"Alex?!" she called again, getting annoyed.
"..."
"Has anyone seen him?" she finally asked as the girls popped out of their tanks and looked at her.
"Nope!"
"Uh-uh!"
"He might be in the shed." she finally concluded and walked around the corner of the tankery shed with the rest of them in tow.
As they rounded the corner they saw smoke belching from the leaning chimney on the brick shed.
"That has to be an really big fire to produce that much smoke." Hana observed as Miho grabbed the handle to one of the large doors and heaved it open before gasping at what she saw. A large, charcoal black, steam locomotive sat simmering at full pressure before them, with a large black tender and long boxcar behind it that matched. Then, Miho heard a groan and snore from the top of the engine.
"Found him!" Mako called from the side and waved them to the side. Alex sat on the boiler with his hand wrapped around the shiny brass whistle, fast asleep.
"Apparently he has been here all night. How are we going to wake him?" Miho wondered aloud as Mako climbed into the cab and stared in confusion at the wall of gauges and levers, before yelling, "We'll move him into the sun."
As Mako looked at the bank in front of her, she spotted a red pull cord hanging from the ceiling and yanked it down. A deafening scream rang from the whistle, and Alex jolted awake.
"Huh?! What-?! Is-?!" he stuttered as he Looked about wildly.
"Is this the surprise you had for us?" Miho asked him as he slowly climbed down from his perch and she noticed the name stenciled onto the side: Dragon.
"Yeah." he said with a hint of embarrassment. " A world war two armored train, named Dragon." he replied as he climbed into the cab and shoved one of the levers forward on the bank. Steam hissed from the sides as the engine slowly lumbered out into the sun and tow the line up of tanks.
"How are you able to control where it goes, there is no track? " Miho asked him suspiciously when the train came to a stop and he climbed out.
"That is a very good question, but I know a saying that will answer it. 'Don't question how it works, only know that it works.'" he answered as he walked over to the line of tank captains.
Miho stared at him with a hint of annoyance and envy before explaining to them, "Today we are doing a mock elimination battle in preparation for a battle against St. Gloria school of tankery. We will be split up under two teams, one controlled by Erwin and the other by me."
"When you here your tank called, get into it and move it to the appropriate starting point." Erwin told them.
"Leopon, duck, and rabbit your with me, the rest are with Erwin." Miho said as they ran to their tanks.
Twenty minutes later: Erwin's team
Alex stopped beside the Aus. 111 and the other tanks with a quiet squeal.
"Dragon in position." he radioed and bowed to begin the match. All the tanks lurched forward at full speed as Alex fell behind and turned in the opposite direction.
"I'm good at long range sniping attacks, I'll go and find a spot to help you." he radioed back as Erwin asked through the set why he turned around.
'He better be good.' Erwin thought as they rumbled along and stopped on a low rise.
Here you rifle a lot of information ceasing to show most of whats going on like were these guys were shooting panzers. I simply thought that they were sitting outside parked around the back inside the, "large hangar."
Were was he pulling up to? I just though he shifted it to the right and when did the other two girls hop in. You really brushed over the part were they apparently showed him how the controlls worked. Was it a bright sunny day? Was the field flat and green or was it a berren desert? Was the arcatecture of this school place filled with windows or just a brick shack? Was there only one hall and one room? Was his room just a bed and an alarm clock?
Just taking the time to describe a few details would put this chapter well over five thousand but again the information just came off as riffled skipping the scenery, pleasant details and bolting straight to the target head on.
I know i sound mean but often times you need to imbrace criticism on a professional level.
Now this is only some advice but if you think you have grown as a writer in the last seven chapters than you should go back and starting at this one in particular, and listen to me when i say this, you just start padding that shit with detail making this world look vibrant and worth emersing yourself in. Show us what you see im sure its amazing and worth experiencing you just dont provide the necessary resources to start building that world you do see.
Im positive you can do it. Good Luck.
Wisdom from The Mad Donut. One and only.