The Conversion Bureau: A Boy and his Dream

by Lord Chit Chat

Chapter 2: Surprises, and surprises again

Chapter 2

I had a nightmare. It started out with us being in some dark place, what seemed to be underground, some kind of basement, and I, Twilight and another orange pegasus pony were headed towards a computer console. Twilight started sprinting for it and was now about sixteen feet in front of us. All of a sudden there were sparks underneath Twilight and she collapsed. I rushed in to see what happened. She stepped into a large puddle of water, which had several cables running into it on the sides of the wall. She was dead. I cried. I cried because I didn’t notice the cables and because of me, Twilight Sparkle was dead. Luckily, I soon woke up and realized it was a dream. I saw Twilight still sleeping with her head on my hip, alive and well. I looked out the window and it seemed like it was dusk.

“How much longer till we start descend James?” I asked my AI butler.

“In a few minutes, sir. Would you like some coffee?” he replied.

“Yes, thank you James. I’ll pick it up in the kitchen.” I slowly lowered Twilight’s head off my hip and gently put it down on the sofa. I went to the kitchen, where James already started the brewing program. It started spitting the artificial milk into the mug. While I was waiting for it to complete I took a glance outside. I saw a light green pegasus holding his pace with the starboard wing. My brain didn’t register it at first, so I continued watching how my coffee was made. But after about half a second my brain did register it and I ran over to the nearest window. I started tapping it to get the pegasus’s attention. By chance, he heard my tapping and came over to the window.

“Would you care to come in?” I tried talking through the window. He made a I can’t hear you gesture so I ran over to my chair and pulled out a sheet of paper and took out the pen out of my suit. I wrote my previous sentence as clearly as I could onto it. I then put it on the window so that with some success he could read it. Luckily he did. I gestured the forward part of the plane where the door was located. Opening a door in mid-flight wasn’t as easy as Hollywood movies had shown. In fact, it was down right impossible, without decompression and powerful hydraulics. Luckily, I had a mid flight door opening system installed, in case of a critical engine malfunction and you had to parachute yourself to safety. Regardless, I still had to push the door really hard, but once I got one inch open the rest was easy. Now there was the problem of closing it again. The pegasus flew into the plane and when he saw that I couldn’t close the door, he generously helped me.

“Sir, you could’ve just asked me to give a little more power to the hydraulics." said James.

“Ohh, right. Sorry, that’s humans for you when they don’t get their caffeine dosage.” I replied with a laugh.

I then turned around to the light green pegasus. “Welcome on board, Mr.?”

“High Cloud. Are you really a human?” he asked as if he had never seen a human before.

“Yes, I am. Is there a problem with that?” I asked curiously with a smile on my face.

“Wow, a real human! Wait till everypony back home hears about this.” he looked down at his hooves and reminded himself to ask me another question “What kind of flying machine is this? I didn’t see any pegasi pull it, so how is it flying?”

“Like a bird, Mr. High Cloud. Like a bird. The engines on the back of the plane provide the thrust necessary for it to fly. And the wings keep it up in the air. There’s really not much to it.” I explained.

“Wooooowwww.” he awed. I suddenly remembered something.

“Mr. High Cloud, would you be interested in doing a little favour for me?” I asked him.

“Of course, anything for you mister.” he bounced in excitement.

“You can call me Erik. Anyway, I’d like you to alert all the pegasi near the airport to clear the runway and the skies for a few minutes until we land. A plane needs a lot of space to maneuver, unlike you pegasi.”

“What’s an airport?” he asked me.

“Oh, ehm it’s the place with the big roads that don’t seem to connect anything. It should also have a tower and several bridges that also don’t connect to anything too or they connect to planes such as this one only bigger.” I tried to explain.

“You mean Lax? Sure, I’ll have the sky clear in a minute, sir.” he headed over the door and as soon as he reached it James opened it for him to exit. He jumped out and skillfully avoided the wing and the rest of the jet. James then closed the door and said “Your coffee is ready, sir.” I started laughing.

Soon after I got my coffee and sat on my seat the plane broke the cloud layer above the airport, miraculously, not hitting anypony. Luckily, James didn’t need the runway lights to successfully land because it seems they were dead a long time ago. There were pegasi standing on the Theme Building and some were standing next to the runway watching how our plane was landing. There were a few Dreamliners 2 and a couple of old A350 XWBs parked at the airport terminals. It looks like the ponies have decorated them with images and murals depicting the Wonderbolts. James parked the plane next to a crowd of ponies in which I could clearly see High Cloud.

“Twilight?” I wanted to ask her something.

“Yes?” she answered while yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“Are you awake?”

“Well, mostly. Why? What is it?” she asked while stretching.

“Well, I’ve kind of created a welcoming committee for us. Could I count on you dealing with it? I’m a little rusty with public speeches and I believe most of them will be terrified of me.” I looked into her eyes.

“Of course, you can count on me!” she said happily.

“Thank you, Twilight. Let’s get going then.” I made an assuring smile on my face and looked out the window into the crowd once more, before taking my cane and getting up from my seat.

I let Twilight go out the door first, as any gentleman would. When I reached the end of the stairs High Cloud broke out of the crowd and stopped in front of me.

“I did as you asked me too, mister.” he assured me.

“That you did. And a reward is in order.” I assured the pegasus filly. I thought of what I might give him, but I didn’t have anything on me. But then I remembered my crazy obsession for uniforms and asked James “James? Do we have some kind of flier uniform in the plane?”

“Indeed we do, sir. We got a World War 2 leather pilot set and a modern flight captain’s set. They’re both in the cabinet opposite of the toilet.” he answered. I rushed back inside and pulled out the leather jacket and the accompanying hat, both with some aviator emblems and medals. I even managed to find a pair of aviator goggles for the little pegasus. I came out of the plane again where Twilight and High Cloud were waiting for me in front of the stairs. He was quite anxious to see his reward. I kneeled and put the glasses on his eyes, the hat on his head and I wrapped the jacket around him. I then stood up and said “There you go, little one. May they serve you well in your life. May there no cloud be too high for your reach.” I gave him a salute and then turned to Twilight that was looking at me in a very confusing manner. “I’ll explain later, but for now, let’s deal with the situation at hand, shall we?” she put a smile on her face and then we continued on.

We slowly walked up to the crowd and then what seemed to be the head of the community approached Twilight and asked her some questions, which I overheard. I was too concentrated on the noises coming from behind me as High Cloud was probably trying to get the jacket on properly. I then suddenly heard Twilight giggle. She then turned around and asked me to lower my head so she can whisper something into my ear.

“They’re not angry at you, Erik! They’re amazed to see a human. They’re asking if they could hold a celebration in your name!” Twilight laughed.

“Ha ha, very funny Twilight. Now tell me what they want so we can get this over with.” I said not realizing she wasn’t joking.

“I’m not joking, Erik! They really want to have a feast in your honor!” she reduced the laughter to a smile.

I was very, very confused. Why in the name of God, would a group of ponies be so obsessed with humans? I didn’t have a clue, so there was nothing left for me to do but to ask them.

“What is the name of their leader?” I asked Twilight.

“I believe it is a pegasus named Caffeine Dash.” she answered.

Caffeine Dash...that name sounded familiar. I didn’t recognise the name right away, but after reminiscing for a while I finally did. And I couldn’t believe it. So I asked Twilight one more time. “W-what did you say his name was?”

“Caffeine Dash. Why? Is there something wrong?” she wondered.

I turned around back at the crowd. And saw him laughing at me and waving his hoof. I whispered to myself “You bloody bastard...”

I started laughing and yelled “You bloody bastard!” when I was about three feet from him, he flew to me and we hugged, mid air you could say. We then calmed down a bit and I put him down back on the floor.

“Well, Jake, I’d imagine you were trolling with that loving humans because they’re humans mumbo jumbo?” I asked him.

“What can I say, I couldn’t resist!” he smirked.

Twilight slowly approached us and asked “You know each other?”

“Yes we do Twilight. Jacob here was one of my top scientists before he went to get ponified. He was also a brony just like me. We actually met when the series was running its second season. But unlike me he took the first chance he could to get ponified. Didn’t you Jake?” I answered.

“Well, you can’t blame me. You didn’t exactly pay me like I was your top scientist.” he answered.

“Hey, fifty thousand dollars a month isn’t exactly small money!” I argumented.

“Yeah, when? Forty years ago it would have been huge money. Now, or rather, twenty years ago it barely paid rent for my penthouse suite. Not to mention my ten parking spaces.”

We both burst into laughter again.

“You really don’t know where’s the limit, do you Jake?” I asked.

“I guess I don’t. But who cares about that now. The important thing now is that you’re here and I have an excuse to throw you a party.” he answered.

“Well I wouldn’t want to be a bother. And I don’t know if I deserve it to be honest.” I said with a small hint of depression on my face.

“Nonsense! Any old friend of mine deserves a party being thrown for him. especially if i haven’t seen you in what is it now? Ten years?”

“Twenty Jake...Twenty. Time does fly by doesn’t it?”

“It sure does... I hope you are tired after your flight! even though it has been that long I still remember how you like your coffee.”

“Well, how could I refuse coffee from somepony whose special talent is coffee?” I suddenly remembered something. What kind of gentleman am I? I didn’t even introduce Twilight to Jake.

“Ohh, erhm excuse me for being so impolite, Twilight, this is Jake or Caffeine Dash as he is called now. Jake, I do hope you remember who this is.”

“Well she’s only one of the mane six characters in the show that we both watched and worshipped a few years ago. Mind you introduce me to miss Sparkle?” the orange pegasus said sarcastically.

I laughed and then said “Jake, this is Twilight Sparkle, element of magic, Celestia’s protege and, well, I guess the pony ambassador to humans now.”

“I was being sarcastic, Erik.” he replied.

Twilight laughed some and then extended her hoof to shake hooves with Caffeine Dash. “Nice to meet you, Caffeine. I could go for a coffee myself.”

“Hope you like it to last ‘till tomorrow”

I lowered myself to Twilight’s head level and whispered into her ear “Don’t worry, I’ll water it down for you. The amount of caffeine he manages to put in a coffee is unimaginable. I’m surprised that the coffee he serves is still liquid.”

“I heard that.” Caffeine said.

“Well you have to admit it’s true.”

“Yeah...maybe a little...”

“Didn’t you say you’re having a party prepared for us, Jake?”

“Please, it’s Caffeine now, and yes I’ve already put some of my friends on it.”

“Ok, Caffeine, lead the way.”

He showed us the sleeping quarters for the kids at flight school, after the ponies had absorbed a large portion of humanity they soon discovered that cloudsdale got a bit cramped, the short term solution was to open up a few small temporary schools at certain airports in the human world. After a few years the ponies had managed to build real cloud schools for young fliers, but the airports were still kept open for nostalgia purposes. Moving on, he showed us the sports centre, it was a large hall with various tools and individual fields for certain sports. Sports like rugby or tennis had lowered in popularity while hobbies like soccer were gaining, who would have thought that having four legs could help you in soccer.

While walking through the long corridors and the large halls Caffeine talked a bit of how he managed to get put in charge as head trainer at a flight camp.

“Remember when I left for ponification, Erik? I had actually prepared myself a bit for the event before I left. I had intended to try to bring computers to ponies and had thus prepared a new kind of keyboard and mouse intended for use with hooves and wings. I still keep programming as a hobby but I noticed that ponies weren’t interested in things like computer games or robot programming. So I focused more on my physically active side. Attending to flight school as all recently ponified humans that turn into pegasi go to, I picked up the art of flight rather quickly. And when the opportunity arose I volunteered to take care of a slightly run down temp school. After working a bit with the decor and tools available I managed to turn the schools reputation around. Et voila! I haven’t let it change a bit in fifteen years.” The orange pony stopped for a while and looked at the students, his students.

“Anyway enough of me, how have you been Erik? It’s been twenty crazy years and I have no clue what you have done lately.”

“Not much, Caffeine. The AIs you invented were a nice boost to the economic situation of the company. But ponies took over and they got pretty much useless, as you said, ponies aren’t really that interested in computers and robots and similar technology. But I’m happy you found a second hobby. I did as well. I’ve spent the last 10 years preserving whatever there is to preserve. Paintings, texts, blueprints, music etc., wouldn’t like humanity to get buried in the sands of time. I bet you’re wondering how come I didn’t get myself ponified. Well that was your answer pretty much. A lot of stuff left to do as a human I guess. That or I proclaimed myself captain of this ship and am willing to abandon it last. Or go down with it. Yep, that’s me. Too good for my own good.” I said as we slowly approached what seemed to be the mess hall. The strong smell of food kind of gave it away.

“CHUNKY!” our escort suddenly shouted “It better not be celery soup today!”

“Sorry about that, forgot I had visitors today, anyway as you might suspect we are nearing the kitchen and I’m a bit hungry. Would you like some food?” he then added in a lower voice.

“Well, I’d be delighted to eat some real food after so long. A nanobar can only have so much taste. And you Twilight?” I looked at her.

“Um, well, the flight did make me a bit hungry. Might as well eat something while we’re here.” she responded.

A light green pony with a dark green mane stuck his head out of the kitchen and shouted back.

“Well your worries are unfounded its fried carrots with chips on the menu.” the chef pony looked at Twilight and then added “Ah, so these are our visitors. I heard some of the boys talking, but the element of magic herself! Now where’s the human?”

“Word does spread fast here, doesn’t it? Quite the establishment you’ve got here, Caffeine. Not too shabby.” I said when I walked around the corner to the kitchen. I saw another pony I knew. “Hello, Tom.”

The light green unicorn’s jaw dropped to the floor.

“Well you pretty much grounded 100 fliers for a few minutes so you weren’t that discrete.” Caffeine said.

I laughed a bit “True, so true. Again, I’m sorry I had to do that. It was either that or taking the risk of having someone go splat. And I don’t think anyone would want that to happen.” I looked at the light green unicorn formerly known as Tom. “What is it, Tom?”

“Ee-e-Erik?!” he asked.

“Yeah. I wasn’t really expecting you coming out of that plane. Anyone else and the boys could’ve gotten feisty but, you...you get a feast.” Chunky said.

“Thank you Chunky. It really means that much to me. And to Twilight of course.” I turned around to her and then suddenly remembered. “Ehm, Caffeine, you wouldn’t know Ms. Fluttershy’s location or perhaps a human’s?

“Yes, she passed by a few days ago. She said she was headed for Santa Harmonica and that she return in a few days.”

“Was she alone?” Twilight inquired.

“No, she had Angel with her. I swear that’s the most assertive rabbit I’ve ever seen...and Chunky over there remembers him best.”

“Ye, he was a feisty little bugger. anyway mind introducing me to the persons responsible for the extra dishes?” the cook said.

“Oh yes, sorry ‘bout that, anyway Chunky this is John Eriksson, he was my boss and friend before I got ponified, I’m sure you remember that. And this pretty filly is Twilight Sparkle, one of the mane six and bearer of the element of magic, I’m sure you remember that as well. Twilight, Erik, this is Chunky Chef the campus cook and generally a nice guy, except he keeps making celery soup. Erik you may also know him better as Tom MacCloud. From back when the series still ran.“

“Oh, I know who he is. I just refrained myself from hugging him because he looked busy and seemed as if he really needed all his concentration with the carrots and chips.”

“How in the blazes can you still remember him? That was like 50 year ago!”

“Eh, good memory, I suppose. I did hire him personally, you know.”

“I can see why. Anyway the food should be ready in a few minutes, let me show you two to the mess hall. I suppose you wouldn’t want to eat while standing up, would you?” Caffeine said.

Caffeine lead them to the giant mess hall, which was probably the former food court of the airport. He took them to the nearest one next to the kitchen. All the other kitchens seemed as if they haven’t worked in quite a while. I seated Twilight and myself at the table.

“Now that we are here and seated I’ll go check on Chunky to see how the food is going, I will be right with you.” Caffeine said as he left me and Twilight.

“I need to thank you for getting me here so fast, Mr. Eriksson.” she said.

“Oh, don’t make much out of it. That airplane would probably rust if the purification wouldn’t hit in a month. I have so much stuff I don’t do anything with anymore. Such a shame. I used to enjoy things like driving in my Porsche, sailing on my yacht. I can’t say I’ve had a bad life. I only wish I could have made more lives better.” I stared out the glass windows of the airport and then looked back at Twilight “But look at me rambling again. You haven’t said a thing since we’ve arrived. What’s the matter?”

“It’s that obvious? Well, I don’t know why, but I feel as if something bad is going to happen.”

“Gut feelings. I know what’s it like. But I’m sure everything’s going to be alright, Twilight, trust me on that one. You know what? How about I accompany you all the way? It would be my pleasure and there isn’t anything I have to do anyway.”

“I’d like that. Thank you, Erik.”

“As I’ve said, it would be my pleasure Twilight.”

Twilight and I talked about a few more mundane things and after a while, Caffeine returned. He was balancing three plates on him, one on his body and one on each of his wings, He also looked rather cheerful. Life as a pony must really give you a lot to be happy about, doesn’t it?

“Hope I haven’t been away for too long, anyway Chunky sent us these. His celery soup is to die for but after having nothing but it, you kinda long for something else. Anyway here are the fried carrots.” he said in a chipper tone. “By the way how long are you planning on staying? A jet saves a lot of time compared to a chariot when we’re talking about transatlantic distances.”

“Well, you’ll have to ask Twilight for that one. I’m just the escort.” I said.

She giggled and then said “I guess until Fluttershy and I finish up with the humans here.”

“I’d guess you are staying at least a day then, I’ll have some rooms prepared. What exactly is your business with the humans?” the orange pegasus inquired.

“Well, I’d like to tell you, but it’s top secret. The Princesses don’t want anypony to know until it’s time.” Twilight answered.

“Intriguing. Anyway eat up, as soon as we are done here and since you are staying for a while I’ll show you where you can sleep, then I can go do some paperwork while you settle in. Bon appetit.”

“Thank you.” Twilight and I said at the same time.

I haven’t had a real meal in about twenty years. Those artificial foodstuffs pretty much replaced everything organic as they were healthier, cheaper and lasted longer. But still, they somehow lacked that special taste only organic can give. And these carrots were damn delicious. I got to hand it to Chef, he does know his job. After we’ve eaten, I went to the counter where Chef was working and said “My compliments to the chef.” he laughed. “I’ll let him know. Will you be available for dinner?”

“Yes, Tom, both Twilight and I will be staying here for a while. So you’ll have enough time to impress me with your culinary expertise.” I turned around for a moment and saw Caffeine waving towards me “Well, it looks like I’ll have to cut this conversation short. I’ll see you around Tom.”

“Thank you Erik. And it’s Chunky now.” he replied.

"Ok, Chunky. See you around.” I walked back to the table, fixed my suit a bit and said “Ok Caffeine, carry on.”

“Alright, if you would follow me, please.” we exited the food court and headed towards the terminals. The ponies inhabited the waiting rooms and the few docked planes. We didn’t stop here, however, we continued on and were back outside again. We were headed towards the air control tower. It seemed odd so I had to ask “We’re going to be staying in the air control tower?”

“Yep, there we have the best and most comfortable rooms, I’m guessing you don’t want to sleep on some hay in an old airplane fuselage. I sleep in the topmost room so I can keep an eye on my students, but there are a few guest rooms there you should find quite up to your needs.” he answered.

"Well, I can’t say I’m shocked and it is definitely a sign of taste. Not to mention the functionality. Good show, Jake, good show." After a few minutes we were up on the tower. From up there you could really see everything. Pegasi flying low around the buildings, unicorns doing maintenance work and earth ponies pulling old baggage trains. About thirty years ago, you could probably have a nice view of city as well. Ah, look at me babbling to myself about the past again. What was was, and will likely never be again. I hate, yet love nostalgia. Makes you remember the good old times, yet pulls you away from more important matters, like the future and present.

“I wish you two a pleasant stay. I’m afraid I have some business to attend to.” said Caffeine as he closed the door behind him.

“It really is nice up here. It was sweet of him to give us these rooms.” said Twilight admiring the comfortable beds. I turned away from the window and towards Twilight and said

“Yes, he’s quite the friend.” I sat on the bed next to Twilight. She noticed how I got a little depressed again and so she tried to comfort me.

“Are you okay, Erik?” she asked.

“Hmm? Oh, yes, I’m fine. It’s just some nostalgia. I’ll feel better in a hour or two. Heh, I bet you don’t have anything in the past you crave about. Ponies don’t seem to go from better to worse like we humans do. If I didn’t know better I would say that in Equestria, things can only get better. Here? You never know...” I lie down on the bed.

“Well, actually...I do miss Equestria. More with each passing day. I miss Spike and all his...well...Spikiness. Not to mention Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, my brother and my parents...” she said.

I sat back up on the bed and seeing what I had done I had to comfort her now, as well as myself. I was also baffled by the question of how long was she away from Equestria and her friends? So I asked her “Wait, how long have you been away from home? And your family and friends?”

“Almost twenty years now. I’ve been running the conversion bureau in New York, you see. Both Celestia and I knew I was best suited for the task. It was my responsibility towards both my, and your people for me to do so. Fluttershy offered to help me after a few years. She left her hut for the girls to take care off. Until recently we were always together, first in the bureau, then on our trips around the world, but with the Purification spell, and the time we were given, I thought it would be best to split up, so we could cover more people sooner.”

“I..I..I’m sorry to hear that. I..I’m sorry Twilight. I cannot help but think, that...these were a horrible twenty years for you. To see things no pony should ever see. To hear things no pony should hear. To experience some things ponies should never experience. It makes me wish that you had never come to our world, Twilight. For the sake of yourselves.” I stood up from the bed. And looked outside the window for a moment before starting to weep.

“What price must you ponies pay to save us? The price of peace? The price of your well being? The price of your lives? Sometimes....sometimes, I think you did a foolish thing, to help us. Brave, but foolish. You should have left us of to rot, so that we finally meet our fate that has avoided us for so long...”

I couldn’t control my emotions anymore. To start thinking of ponies who had to come to this world to save us from our own fate. The fate we had deserved for being ignorant, stupid, warmongering barbarians. A civilization built on lies and deceit. We had it coming for so long...but they....they were ready to throw away their own well being just to help us. They could have went with the Purification spell as soon as they came, or not even that, they could have used it from their world without even stepping into ours. But they didn’t. They came and they gave us a new beginning, without us needing to give anything in return. If a human would have done the same thing, everyone would say that there has to be a catch. Many probably did. I fell to my knees, sobbing.

Twilight approached me and gave me a hug. “I have seen things I regret, but I still think you’re worth the trouble. You’ve got kindling in your hearts that just waits to be ignited by something magical like us.” she tried to assure me.

“T...thank you, Twilight. You’re really good at this friendship stuff, aren’t you?” I calmed down a bit.

"Well, I haven’t written all those friendship letters for nothing.” she hugged me.

I hugged her back. It was the most calming thing ever. My tears dried in an instant. “Thank you Twilight. I really needed that.”

“You’re welcome, Erik. If there were more humans as considerate as you, you probably wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“I know, right?” I wiped remnants of a tear of my cheek and stood up. “Well, I think we should both go to sleep. All this thinking and emotions really got the better of me and my energy.”

“I agree. We should, I bet your friend has a lot in store for us tomorrow.”

I took of my tie and jacket and the suddenly remembered that I forgot my baggage in New York. “Oh, damn.”

“What is it?” Twilight asked.

“I forgot my pyjamas. And I don’t feel comfortable sleeping in my shirt.”

“Why don’t you sleep in naked? Or well, in your underwear.”

“Ar...oh, yeah. I forgot you ponies don’t wear clothes much. Well, the thing is, I’m accustomed with sleeping in my pyjamas and sleeping naked is not really civilized in my opinion.”

Twilight giggled “You’re awfully conservative, for someone who’s going to get ponified.”

I smiled “Well, now that you put it that way, might as well get started early with my new life.” I took of my shirt and pants and laid down into my bed. “Good night, Twilight. Sweet dreams.”

“You too, Erik. Don’t let the bedbugs bite.”

“Yeah, Jake wasn’t very famous for his cleaning. I hope he had someone clean these, otherwise there will be bedbugs that bite.”

We both chuckled for a moment and then fell into slumber.

I was again cursed with the nightmare from yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night, and again assured myself that everything was ok. I sure do hope it’s not one of those dreams that come true. I couldn’t live with myself if something like that would happen. I went back to sleep, but I didn’t catch much sleep the rest of the night. I carefully got out of bed, so that I don’t wake up Twilight. It was a bit earlier then I usually wake up, but since I didn’t catch much sleep, I didn’t see reason why not to. I put on my clothes and carefully left the room. I heard noises coming from the floor above, and so I used the stairs to see who’s there. I entered what was before one of the control rooms of LAX. In it was Caffeine Dash looking at a formation of pegasi flying around the airport.

“Barrel roll! Do a barrel roll! No, not a loop! A barrel roll!” shouted Caffeine into the microphone.

“Damn...that’s a bit cliche, don’t you think?” I said while still climbing into the room.

“Cliche? What do you mean clich...Oh...” he realized after a moment of thought.

“Yeah, internet memes never do die, do they? Anyway, do you think you can keep your voice down? Twilight’s still asleep. And she’s had a rough day yesterday.” I walked and positioned myself next to him. “Could you tell me if the mess hall is open now? I haven’t gotten much sleep tonight and could really go for a good cup of coffee.”

“No, the mess hall isn’t open yet. But I know a particular colt that could make you a cup of coffee. Let me just finish the morning training session with the senior flyer group here.”

“Well, I must say, they do look like they can do some mean flying.” I said as I was watching them do barrel rolls in the sky.

“Yeah, they d...you know what, let me show you just what these guys can do.” Caffeine leaned to the microphone again and said “Ok, now do everything I ever taught you and do it with excellence. I don’t want you to miss a single step, and I want you to give it all you’ve got. Now start!”

The pegasi formation started doing all kinds of acrobatics and stunts. The degree of talent and practice to achieve such skill was astounding. They completely “grew” into their wings, something humans could never hope to achieve with their airplanes. The perfection of each move was beyond beautiful.

“My God, Jake. Your students fly as if they were the masters of the sky itself. I have never seen such coordination and skill!” I said in amazement.

“Well, duh, they are my students. And I said that you should call me Caffeine.” he replied to my sudden amazement.

“With all good respect, Caffeine, I didn’t know you were such a good flyer. With this kind of skill I’m amazed that you aren’t commanding the Wonderbolts!”

He laughed at my remark about his skills. “What’s funny?” I asked trying to see why is he laughing.

“You think that’s Wonderbolt material? Those are mere child tricks compared to those of the Wonderbolts. But thank you for giving such over exaggerated compliments.” he replied.

“Well it’s hard to believe that there’s a level of flying above this. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see for myself, won’t I?”

“I guess you will. And I’ll be there with you when you do. It’s always fun to watch the Wonderbolts in action.” he suddenly remembered that I asked for a cup of coffee “Oh, let’s head to the bar. I’ll make you the best cup of coffee yet.”

“What do you know about coffee making?” I asked.

“Ehm ehm.” he pointed at his cutie mark.

“Oh right. I guess I thought your cutie mark was flight related. Morning sickness I guess.” he and I chuckled.

We went to the mess hall, which was mostly empty at this kind of hour. I sat myself at the bar, so Caffeine and I could still talk casually.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about something I’d like to talk to you about.” I said to Caffeine.

“What is it, Erik?” he replied while preparing to make some coffee.

“Was your talent always about making coffee? Even while you were still human?”

“Why are you asking questions you know the answers to yourself?”

“I don’t know, just making sure I guess.”

“Well, in that case, yes, it always was my talent. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, mostly because I don’t know what my special talent is.”

“I thought you were great at leading the company and giving ideas down at the lab.”

“Oh, please. We both know that me leading the company had nothing to do with the word great. If it were just me, the company would have gone bankrupt the next day. And you’d think that good brainstorming is a talent, then well, it’s a lousy one. It’s like a double-edged sword really. You can give ideas to others, but if you try to do them yourself you’re dead in the water. I mean you’re good at making coffee and you have ideas for that. But if your talent is making ideas and not something else then it’s a truly useless thing, at least for the individual.”

“I guess. Good thing you surrounded yourself with good friends then.”

“I know, I know...but still. You and your team were able to invent AIs. You remember, back when we watched the show? I always got jealous of all the people in the community who made a name for themselves. And every time I realized I was jealous I wanted to tear my heart out. And you know how much I tried drawing, writing, even singing. But I never got to be, as Rarity would have put it, the pony everypony should know. And I always wanted to make a name for myself. It didn’t want to be the best of the best, but I wanted to be known. I wanted to do my part in the community. I guess I was a bit selfish.”

“Nah, you just wanted to be somebody. Let’s face it, everyone wants to be a somebody.” he gave me my coffee.

“Thanks Caffeine. It really means a lot to me.” I took a sip of the coffee. And, as expected, it was heavenly.

“You see, even your coffee is a work of art. All I ever could hope for getting even near to this is giving Pinkie Pie the idea on how to improve banana cream pie, or something like that.”

“Well, when you do, I’d like to try it.” he raised a cup.

“Cheers.” I said and then clinked cups.

“Anyway, why do you think your cutie-mark would be brainstorming? I mean look at me for an example, I’m brilliant with computers. I invented the first God-damn AI, making coffee was just a hobby for me. A hobby I thoroughly enjoyed and perfected but still.”

“I guess that’s also true. But that brings up another question. What is my special talent then? I was good at disassembling computers back in the day, modifying existing things and et cetera. But I wouldn’t call it a special talent.”

“What about hobbies, things you did in your spare time or dreamt about doing? I don’t know if you can even have one of those as a cutie mark. Didn’t you have anything you enjoyed doing in your spare time?”

“I don’t think playing games on the computer and chatting with you on the net can be a special talent, Caffeine.”

“Maybe you haven’t discovered it yet?”

“Tell ya what, when you finally get your sorry ass over to a conversion bureau and if you don’t come out with a cutie-mark, I’ll help ya go crusadin’ for it. Sounds good?”

“Sounds perfect. A drink to that.” we clinked cups again. I ran out of coffee.

“Well, there goes the coffee. I’m afraid if I get another one I’ll be awake for 3 days in a row.”

“Yea, you should take care of your liver even if the coffee is good. Anyway where did miss Sparkle go?”

“I told you, she’s still asleep.”

“So that’s not her standing in the doorway?” Caffeine pointed a hoof at the door where a purple unicorn was carefully trying to avoid notice.

I turned around and saw Twilight at the doorway. “I guess she woke up a bit early as well.” I smiled.

She walked over to the bar to see what were we doing.

“Well, good morning, miss sunshine.” I said to her.

“My name is Twilight-” she then got the hang of the joke. “-oh.”

“I guess you could go for a coffee as well.”

“How long do you definitely want to be awake and hyper?” Caffeine asked Twilight nimbly hopping over the counter. “If you want I can make you a Wizbrew special.”

“Sure. I’m always in for something new.” she answered.

Caffeine started pulling out a few flasks out of a nearby cabinet. “I must warn you though miss Sparkle don’t use all your magic strength when attempting spells for the next few hours or so. The Wizbrew, invented by me, will as well as giving you extra energy like normal coffee, also boost your arcane strength. Some of the unicorns who tried it before got a nasty headache because they overused their arcane reserves.” Caffeine poured up a dark blue liquid into a mug and after he added some milk to it handed it over to Twilight. “Enjoy!”

“I guess me getting a taste of that is out of the question then.” I said.

“As a human I’d guess you’d suffer from exhaustion for a week and possibly a brain aneurysm. Definitely not nice so I’d advise against it, yes.”

“Well, enjoy your cup of magical coffee, Twilight. If he made it then I’d expect it could be served to the princesses.”

“Thank you.” she took a sip of the coffee. “Wow, it is pretty good.” she then started shaking a little. “Really good.”

“Damn Jake. She’s shaking all over.”

“Well thats not from the Wizbrew thats from the coffee” he smiled.”We should start to notice the Wizbrew soon.”

“Twilight, are you telling me you never had coffee before?” I asked her.

“No, but I’m not used to it this strong.” she answered.

Twilight’s horn started softly glowing.

“Miss Sparkle are you using your magic right now?” Caffeine asked calmly.

Twilight shook her head.

“Well I guess the drink wasn’t too powerful then.” the pegasus smiled.

“What do you mean it wasn’t too powerful? You mean to tell me if it was, her horn would be shooting stars?” I asked

“Not stars per say, but if you see overglow forming without magical exertion then you should duck and as soon as possible administer detox. I assure you even if it was too strong miss Sparkle wouldn’t get hurt.”

“I hope not. Otherwise, I’d wipe the floor with your flank.” I chuckled.

“I’d doubt there would be a floor to wipe me on.”

“What’s That supposed to mean?” I started laughing.

“Well the Wizbrew breaks down a few arcane barriers within the unicorns mind. If the dose is too strong then the unicorn loses control of its spells although luckily every unicorn so far has shielded itself instinctively. The glow you see on miss Sparkle is indicative of a good dose.”

“Oh, you clever bastard.”

“Boys, boys. I’m ok. The drink was delicious, minty in fact.” she interrupted us.

“Good to hear. But as i said earlier try not to use too much energy right now as I’ve unlocked your minds reserves. It should leave you with a feeling of general well being and slight euphoria for a while.”

“Damn it again. It sounds as if you drugged her big time.”

“Yeah, well kinda, anyway haven’t we spent enough time in the bar this fine morning? It’s sunny outside and I feel like stretching my wings a bit.” Caffeine himself took a small sip of the dark blue Wizbrew and his wings shot right out.

“Yeah, you’re right. What do you say Twilight?” I asked her.

“Yeah, sure. By now the sun should have been up.” she answered.

“You heard the mare Caffeine, lead the way.”

He closed his wings with some effort and then jumped over the counter without using his wings and started trotting out the door. Twilight and I followed him. He lead us to a small hangar outside, that seemed to have acted as a school.

“Showing off yet again, Caffeine?” I asked.

“Nope, the kids thought of giving you a show of their own.”

“Two airshows in one day? Well, I certainly can’t say that’s a bad thing.”

“An airshow? Oh, no no no, they’re going to give you a play. I was told they’re going to be doing a medieval pony story.”

“A play? Sounds delightful. Do you have any idea what it might be, Twilight?” I asked if she knew what the play might be.

“If it’s medieval, then I’m guessing Don Quiche and the Dragon. It’s a comedic interpretation about Florentine Quiche’s adventures in the old countries, while they were still young. It’s very popular amongst school plays. At least when I was in school.” she answered.

“A comedy at that? Well, I always say that there can never be too much comedy. And starting your day with one sounds like a nice start.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” she agreed.

Caffeine entered the the hangar, only to come out a few second later pushing a chair with a pillow on it. “The kids ask you kindly to sit down. They found a chair for you Erik. And a pillow for you, Miss Sparkle.”

I took the chair and set it up opposite of the hangar doors. I took the pillow and put it down on the floor besides me. “Mademoiselle.”

“Thank you Erik.” she said with a chuckle. We then both sat down on our seats.

Caffeine then went back in. After a few moments the hangar doors opened revealing a stage. There were several young colts and fillies all dressed up in makeshift costumes on a medieval stage. Amongst them was High Cloud, dressed up in knightly pony armor.

I pointed at him and asked Twilight “Don Quiche, I presume?”

“Yes. This seems quite the scenery for a place such as this.”

“Indeed it does.”

Caffeine appeared on stage. “Mares and gentlemen, I proudly present to you Don Quiche and the Dragon.”

The play went on for two hours. It was quite the experience. You could say it was something like a mixture of Don Quixote, a classic scenario of a prince saving a damsel in distress from a dragon, and a Mel Brooks film. I really loved the part where the Dragon said to the Don “But I just wanted her to show me how to make those delicious hard rocks she throws out the window every Tuesday.” and the princess said “Those are muffins! Not rocks!”

I stood up and started clapping and cheering “Bravo, bravo! Excellent performance!”

Caffeine then step in front of the bowing performers and said “Would a Mr. John Eriksson, please come up to the stage?”

I was surprised as hell. I didn’t know if I should until Twilight pushed me forward and said “Go on. They’re waiting for you.” with a smile.

I went up on stage and then Caffeine started talking again. “Mr. Eriksson, by the authority of his majesty, the Emperor of Pays du Fromage, I declare you Prince of Pays le Brie for your services to his people.” he then gestured me to bow down. When I did High Cloud put a paper crown on my head and the filly, that played the princess, put a medal made out of paper mashier on my chest.

“Oh, this is too much. I thank you all for making such a welcome. I need to say that I don’t know if I deserve it, but I’m glad I could make you all happy if for just a day or two.” I then noticed two ponies rushing towards the hangar. “I say, what got them in a hurry?”

Everyone shifted focus to the two colts running towards the stage. After a few moments they arrived at the stage and said “Mr. Caffeine, sir, I believe you should bring your friends to the infirmary.”

I could see that all three of us were confused, but we rushed to the infirmary without asking any question on the way. When we arrived we saw a hideous scene. Angel was beaten up. He had a chipped tooth, had a scar or two and was lying on the infirmary bed. Twilight rushed to the bed to ask what happened. The bunny then started making semi-recognisable gestures probably describing what had happened. Twilight then slowly returned to me and Caffeine.

“What happened?” I asked her.

“It....it was a human. He took Fluttershy hostage and sent Angel as a messenger.”

Caffeine and I both looked at each other for a moment before saying “Don’t worry, Twilight. We’ll get her back, no matter the cost.”

“Did he give any list of demands like a ransom or something?” I inquired further.

“He said the human wants Princess Celestia to surrender herself and Equestria to him, or Fluttershy gets it.”

“You got all that from the bunny making gestures?” Caffeine wondered.

“Yeah, I might have not learned squirrel, but bunny is easy, once you get the hang of it.” she then paused for a moment before continuing “Please help Fluttershy! You probably know how she is.”

Caffeine and I nodded. “Don’t worry, we’ll get her here safe and sound.”

“Thank you Erik. And thank you Caffeine.”

“You stay with Angel, Twilight. To minimize risks and whatnot. Angel will probably need the care and company of a friend.”

Twilight nodded and Caffeine and I slowly exited the infirmary.

“Let’s go get the bastard, Caffeine. No one hurts Fluttershy and lives to tell the tale.”

“Do you really mean to kill him?”

“Of course not. It’s just a saying. Now, let’s hit the road. I presume you know approximately where this human is?”

“Yes. There aren’t many places you can hide within a bunny length from here.”

“Alright, lead the way.”

Comments

[Lord Chit Chat]

First of all, I want to thank my loyal editor, Caffeine Dash who has so patiently waited for me to get off my arse and start writing again.

And then I want to thank again the people who are, despite the warnings, have read my story and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have writing it.

Constructive criticism is always welcome, and, as this is my first story, I'd like to improve upon myself.

[RockWolf]

First after author! Swish! Also, freekin' love this series!

[Puck The Faerie]

*Poke* Hi! Figure'd the name would give me away kinda easily.. Hehe...

I'll be stalking you here now! Isn't that great?!

[Chatoyance]

This is quite fun! It is lighthearted, interesting, and filled with a general feeling of joy. I am quite enjoying it thus far. Good show!

The bit about the bronies was interesting, and I especially enjoyed the scene where the pegasus entered the plane.

I always feel sorry for the AI's though. I'm going to have to address that issue someday.

Anyway, good story! MOAR, as they say.