Oh Hia Cutie Mark

by Dez Keiz

Moment of Truth

Author's Note:

....................................................................................................................................................why?

The knife inched closer to Tommy as time seemed to slow. It was almost at his neck when there was a knock on the door. Suri quickly threw the knife out a window. Suri opened to door to see Twilight standing there.

"Oh, hello Twilight," Suri greeted her with a casual smile.

"Hello Suri," Twilight's response was very plain.

"To what do I owe this visit?"

"Deus ex Machina."

"What?"

"Oh, I mean just thought I would check up on you guys."

"Oh, well we are doing fine. Tommy is sleeping."

"Well, goodnight then."

"Yes, goodnight."

Twilight walked away and Suri closed the door murmumring a few swears. She sighed and lay down next Tommy struggling to fall asleep. Her mind was full of thoughts of the next day. She would have to act quick if she were to save her own ass.

The nex morning she woke up to see Tommy was gone, in his place was a poorly written note that read.

"Helo Sury, I go to Raretity hoose to tell her what we doo. You enjoy sleep. Leaf talking two me."

She facehoofed due to the both the actions and spelling. She wasted no time and jumped out the window landing next to a dead pony with a knife in his neck. She got up and pulled the knife out and hid it in a saddle bag. She ran to Rarity's boutique hoping Tommy got lost on his way or distacted by a shinny thing. She got to the boutique pushing the doors open. She got in, but it was too late. Tommy, The six friends, and Spike were all there. Tommy smiled at Suri as the others glared.

"Hello baby," Tommy said "I told them so you don't have too. Now they know how you felt."

Rarity screamed at her,"You bitch!"

Sure yelled back,"You have no idea how shitty you made my life! I had to get revenge. I had to make you suffer. And I had to work with some moron to get that revenge. But now that moron went and wasted all my effort!"

The words hit Tommy like Caitlyn Jenner driving a zamboni. He shrunk and his smile was destroyed. He put his head down and Fluttershy comforted him.

Suri panicked trying to fine the correct words,"No, Tommy wait. It's not like that. I still love you."

Tommy looked up to her and screamed out,"No! You lie! You used me!"

"Tommy please, I really do love you, I just needed you to help me."

"Why Suri! Why! How could you do this to me! Ahhhhhh. I am so angry!"

"Tommy- I don't want to."

(And now the momment you have all been waiting for....)

"YOU ARE TEARING ME APART SURI!"

After Tommy yelled that line his ass began to glow. There was a flash of light and when it dissipated his flank was marked with a picture of his human face laughing.

They ponies looked at his cutie mark in awe, wonder, and most of all confusion.

"Well," said Apple Jack."What does it mean?"

Twilight responded with,"I think it means his special talent is Tommy Wiseau"

"So like what, be yourself?"

"No, I think it literally means being Tommy Wiseau is a talent."

Tommy smiled looking at his butt.

He spoke to it as if it were sentient "Oh Hia Cutie Mark."

Roll Credits.

Suri interupted. "Well, that's just fucking nice isn't it. Now Tommy come back to me an-"

Tommy yelled at her."No!"

"What?"

"Get out! Get out of my life you bitch. Rwaaaaaaah"

"Fine! Enjoy your damn cutie mark. I hope you get ass cancer!"

She ran out the door and Tommy sat on a chair with his face in his hooves.

"What have I done," He said in a distraught voice.

AJ looked at him and answered his question."Broke up with a manipulative bitch."

"Oh yeah."

"Well now what?" Asked Rainbow Dash.

Tommy knew what to do."Let's go eat huh, come on let's go."

Meanwhile Suri sat alone under a bridge. Along side here were a few others who agreed with her view on Twilight and her friends, and Spike. Zesty Gourmand, the food critic who had his, shit I mean her reputation ruined by Rarity and Pinkie. Svengallop, a stallion who lost his job working for the pony equivalent of a mix between Lady Gaga and Kesha. He has experience with actors from the human world because at one point he was hiding a closet with Tom Cruise. There was also that one pony that traded a rock carrying bag for Pinkie Pie's Party Cannon. For now let's just call him Douche Bag. And finally to complete this council of of less than minor villains was a Leaf. The Leaf wanted revenge on the ponies for making him and his brothers fall of the trees durring thr running of the leaves.

Suri looked around her."I call this meeting of less than minor villains to order. I would propose our name. We have all fallen on hard times so we are Dishonored, we are also all Infuriated and have gone Crazzy. We will become Killers. Thus I propose we call ourselves Dishonored Infuriated Crazzy Killer Squad, or D.I.C.K.S for short."

The group agreed to the name. The talked for a while unteil Suri gave the order for Leaf was ordered to spy on Tommy and the others. He rode a gust of wind and flew away to the cafe where Tommy and friends were eating lunch. The leaf purched himself on the roof and listened in.

As the group was eating Spike began to feel gassy. It was obvious a letter was comming, however due to the food in his mouth he could not belch it out. The magic had to find another path so it went out the only other gas releasing option. Green fire shot out his ass and a letter appeared. Spike, despite the pain opened up the leader and read it out loud.

"Dear Tommy Wiseau, we have developed a means for you the travel back home that will not be explained due to the writter being to lazy to think of one. Come to the castle as soon as you can so we can make preperations for you departure. I hope to see you soon so we can hurry up and get rid of you, shit Luna don't write that, Okay, just start the sentence over again. What the fuck do you mean we can't erase it, use magic or something. Why the fuck aren't there erasing spells, okay then I don't want to waste another paper, need to keep the the hippies happy. Just cross it out and finish the letter, wait Luna are you writting down everything I said, I swear Luna if you send that I will banish your ass back to the moo-"

"Well", said Twilight"We best get going then." The group got up and left Spike to bay for the bill.

Spike looked around,"Guys, come on. Not funny. Can I at least have some Preparation H?"

He looked to see a waiter clear his throat and stare at him.

Spike sighed,"Shit."

The Leaf laughed to himself in leaf language and flew away in the wind.

Comments

[Rainbow_Blitz246]

Fix the one mistake, and it's your life. Fix it by deleting it. Plus I'm going to remove this story from my mind like kurt cobain.