Lost in Equestria without a map.

by M11-Megas

CH. 15 we speak passade

Lost in Equestria

Without a map.

By: M11-Megas

Ch. 15 We speak passade

As we entered the shop Rarity spoke in a sophisticated voice. "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique. Where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique." She set me down on a stool and placed my bag beside me.

I looked around me it was the dress making shop Twilight said Rarity owned, it is apparently very successful and it showed as it was vary well decoded. There was vases, a giant chandler, and artsy paintings on the walls. Dresses seemed to be the only kind of clothes displayed and they were all very elaborate.

Well this is a nice change of pace. She then used her magic to violently rip off my socks and threw them in a trash can on the other side of the room. "Oi lady, those were good socks!" its rare that I yell but when someone tosses my socks it tends to make me a bit angry.

"No darling, those were atrocités affreux." She looked at me thinking that I didn't understand what she said. "that means..."

"Horrible atrocities! I'll have you know that those were some of the best socks I ever wore!"

"Vous parlez passade!?" She was shocked. "Mais tu es si inculte." I shot her a bemused look.
(you speak fancy!?) (But, you look so uncultured)
"Sorry, I just didn't expect somepony of your... style to understand la langue de l'amour.

(the language of love)

It took me a second to understand that fancy must be pony for french. "Can I have my socks back?"

Without missing a beat the unicorn replied. "No, you may not. Now to the matter at hoof, where is this suit that got 'sliced up' as you call it."

I untied the garbage bag on my backpack and held it up. "This is all that is left of it, what little there is."

She drew the bag closer with her magic and opened, The moment she did I could see her visibly gag. "Eww, it smells like a dead, rotting fish in a hoof ball gym locker."

I smiled. "Your close. That's a stew of a blue suit, my blood, and river water that sat in a trash bag for two days."

She didn't seem to amused by my joke. "Come with me. We have work to do." She then trotted off to another room, watching her leave I notice something was off, I knew exactly what but I didn't want to say anything, or even think about it really.

Quick change the subject. "What subject?"

"What was that, dear?" Rarity called from the other room.

"Nothing!" I ran into the room after her. The new room was in a sharp contrast to the main room. Their was far less decorations and it was very messy with fabric and other clothing things scattered on the floor. As soon as I entered the room I tripped over a roll of baby-blue silk and fell on to a pile of bows.

"Excuse the mess... are you alright?"

I was face down in what seemed like the softest pile of anything in the world. "Surprisingly, I'm good." I was almost bewildered by the fact that I wasn't injured by the fall.

I picked my self off of the pile and joined Rarity, who was by a rectangular table spraying a aerosol can of air freshener in the air, after the can ran out she levitated another can from a desk drawer and proceeded to spray half of it in the bag containing my suit. "Their, fresh as a daisy." She dumped the contents of the bag on the table and kinda passed out. She didn't really she just swayed a little with her front hoof on her forehead before staring angerly at me, asking "Aren't you going to catch me?"

I was confused but held out my arms where she would have fell to let her ungracefully fall into them, not that it would have mattered if the would have hit the floor, or rather cloth. Anywhere I stepped in that room I was standing on at least a foot of soft stuff. "Is there something wrong, deary?" I mocked.

She ignored the 'deary' and came back with the most mellow dramatic sounding voice I had ever heard. "Something wrong? Just look at this horrid arrangement of colors! It's simply dreadful!" She stood back up and pointed to spots on the pile of rags. "This professional blue with the ugly brown..."

"Rarity."

"...and the scarlet transitioning between the two..."

"Rarity."

"...it's like somepony took a professional garment and threw paint at it."

"Basically... yeah."

She looked angry again. "Is that to mean that you did this?" I nodded. "What were you thinking!" She yelled.

I fell backward onto more stuff from the power of her voice. "I was thinking about how dogs made out of snakes are more intelligent then they look." She looked confused. "Those aren't suppose to be there. There blood stains from getting the crap beat out of me on an impromptu river adventure." She raised an eyebrow. "I got chased by a thing, fell down a gorge into a river, and went over a waterfall and who knows what else before being found by Fluttershy, who had to cut me out of my suit to get at any wounds and injuries that I had."

"I see." I got back on my feet. "It looks like Fluttershy didn't want to cause you any discomfort, there isn't any real salvageable parts left to this, so we will have to start from scratch."

"Say what?" Before I knew what was happening I was being measured every which-way that was possible. "You should probably know that I am broke, like completely broke I don't even have too much to barter with since I lost a good bit of stuff in the water that also took my suit."

She laughed a little. "Dear, I wouldn't take you right off the street against your will and force you to pay. Think of this as a gift and a warning, the warning being that if you wear uncoordinated clothes again without working in the dirt or it being laundry day then I will be force to use extreme measures."

I hope that I will never find out what 'extreme measures' are. I didn't want to take any more favors but the determined unicorn protested and threaten me when I tried to decline her 'gift'.

After all the measurements were taken she tried imaging the suit in her mind's eye but couldn't. "Do you have any photos that I could go off of?"

"Hmm. Kinda." I searched through the pile of rags to find what was the heart pocket and pulled out a slimy magazine. I flipped through the pages to around the middle. I pointed at a picture. "It was based off of this suit."

She looked at the picture "Oh, lovely." A bell rang from the main room. "I should go to whoever is there, I'll be right back." She quickly trotted out of the room.

After she closed the door I hear a sneeze from the corner of the room. I turned around to see only a pony mannequin standing by itself. "Okay, if this goes anything like silent hill I'm booking it to the next universe."

Comments

[M11-Megas]

I'm always amused that people will thumbs down a story but never say why. I understand that my story isn't the best but I need to know why it's not, So that I might not make the same mistakes twice. Is it really so hard to tell me why you didn't like it? So I ask you if you are going to thumbs down the story go ahead, i'm not going to stop you, but please leave a comment of why you did that.

[M11-Megas]

I will be at canterlot gardens in strongsville Ohio on September 28th, 29th, and 30th. And it so happens that the 29th is my birthday so go me!

[alexrocks285]

Dude this is a great story, also happy early birthday.

[ExcitedReader]

1038460 I thumbs upped, but most people will dislike this story just because it's a HiE fanfic, pretty much almost all the Human fics i've read have at least a few dislikes. On a side note
photos2.hi5.com/0034/972/801/M5BGgc972801-02.gif

[M11-Megas]

1039651 At least I got a save point in the corner there.
It feels like someone is groping around in my mind. It feels weird.

[Kurohitsugi]

This has pleased me.

[lolz anonymous]

its a changeling!