A wondering human nomad finds himself in Equestria with no idea how he got there.
I a human modern nomad, with a backpack full of gear and sporting a styling suit, wake up to find myself with a headache in a world full of ponies. With no way back I am forced to live here for a bit. I've seen a lot of strange things but this takes the cake!
"Oww... my aching head" I sat up and quickly grab my head with one hand while the other feels my face to find dry blood originating from my nose. where am..., "AAHHHHGGHHHH" My train of thought had been derailed by a sudden horrid pain. I fell back but I got stopped short as my over-sized backpack. Giving it a quick thought I wiped off the backpack and retrieved two heavy-duty aspirin and wash them down with water from my canteen, just as another mini-aneurysm struck.
After some time had passed my headache had dissipated somewhat and I had regained the ability to have coherent thought. I tried to get my bearings, all around me was a dark overgrown forest I had been sitting in a bit of a small clearing as I looked up I could see the sun high in the sky. Sun high in the sky? That can't be right. It was only eight o' clock.checking my watch it had stopped at 8:42 AM. "Dang it! I meant to replace the batteries a two weeks ago!" I heard a rustle in the bushes then, I calmly got my solar-lantern, and shined it on the bushes to see two large blue-green eyes look back for a second before running off with loud rustling from the bush. "Now there are things in the bushes." I sighed tiredly. "Time to go then." I said with a bored demeanor. Then I stepped my backpack on looked at my compass and headed east lantern illuminating the way.
While hiking I had to ponder over how I got from a dessert in Kansas to a overgrown forest in a heartbeat. "I've got a feeling I’m not in Kansas anymore," I chuckled to myself, "I must be over the rainbow!"
Then I saw a sight that put a real smile on my face a man-made road, bike tire marks had been carved into the sand that made up the road. That was a good sign. Looking a little ahead I saw a little hut of some sort with a smoking chimney. I decided to get a closer look at the hut before going down the path. I walked up to it to find some jars, some void, some containing stuff, and some with labels I could hardly read. Then I saw a note I know it's not nice to snoop, but I needed to know if it was a good idea to knock on the door or not.
The note read.
Dear, Zecora
The bees got in my house agian.
could you please make some more of that ointment,
that you are so good at making, for me?
Many thanks,
Twilight Sparkle
They got fun names here, I see. This raises some questions but none of my worries. From the note I could tell that he or she speaks English, and isn't a hermit. That was everything I needed to know. But I couldn't help my curiousness I had to look in the window. To my surprise I show a small zebra, with jewelry on its neck leg and ear, string a large pot in the middle of the room. “Okay, that's not strange." I told my self sarcastically. It must have heard me. Because it looked at the window the wall mostly covered me but I ran down the path just in case. I had gotten 20 yards down the path before I realized I was running from a mini-horse. I felt dumb, I felt even worse when I dived into the tall grass when I heard the door open. I looked back to see the zebra at the open door. I sat and studied it.
It looked left then right looking for me, "I know someone was watching me. Could you come out, for courtesy?" The zebra said in a calm Tribal accent. My jaw dropped. She mumbled something to herself and entered the hut. Leaving me to stare with my mouth wide open.
Ten minutes ago I had hear a zebra talk, now I was still in shock from it. At that time my legs not under my direction stood up at began to go down the path away from the talking zebra. I had seen a lot of animal pup-its in my travels and that was not one of them. Her lips flowed with her voice and accent, I could hear her heavy breaths, I saw how her chest moved, she was real and could talk.
That thought was swept away for late revue as I hear something in the bushes had move a bit. I kept walking but looked at the bush to make shore it didn't do anything that it would regret. The sun was still no help even on the path I look toward the sky to see that it was a bright orange. "Must be sunset." I told myself. The bushes did another little dance try to get me to sing the 'what the hell is that' song. "No such luck bushes,” I told them sternly. Speaking of, what was that at the clearing anyway? Flashes of the eyes bubbled and swirled in my head. They didn't look like the eyes of hunger of a monster, they didn't look scared far from it actually, They really didn't seem curious to see a new animal. From what I had seen they look like the eyes of something caring like a loyal pet or a good friend, they were near brimming with compassion, "but if that were the case then why did it just run off like that?" I was talking to myself again I really should stop that people might think I’m crazy, like I see talking animals or I over-analyze insignificant things.
After that thinking cycle was over I hear another bush shake. At that point I wondered if the things were just cold instead of animals bothering them. Then another bush gave a shake, this one was an over-actor.
"you got to be more subtle," I plead with the plant, "You can't just throw yourself in there, you gotta play mind games, get me wondering what’s happening. You know?" Time to add talks to plants to the crazy meter.
*hisssss* *chita chita chita*
"That's a pretty good impression of a snake but..." Snapping out of my joking mind set I realized that was a rattling snake sound "oohhhh... sshhhoot."
Then I saw a horrible hybrid of a bunch of snakes and a wolf. It had the body of a dog but the back, sides and head was snakes. That ting stood right beside me and hissed very loudly with its hundreds of heads. I took of in the other direction off of the path throw the forest, I looked back to see the thing was gaining on me. I ran through the all the obstacles that blocked my path the best I could, but that thing always found a better way. I jumped logs, ducked vines but it was no use it was getting closer. Then I saw it a gorge in the last bits of sunlight ahead. I thought for a second time seemed to slow down to a stop at that point. "If I try to jump it I probably wouldn't make it and the thing could get across if I do make it. But If I drop and It's deep enough then the beast won't follow me but who knows how deep it is? The last thought I had before my choice was that the beast had thought this though for all his usual prey but I'm not one of them now am I? I tried to slow before the drop but to little avail.
I fell 60 feet bouncing off the walls of the gorge three times before landing in a river five feet deep at the bottom before being pulled down stream. "Oh! It's one of those days." I said tiredly as I felt blood pour down my face. Soon after I was pulled to a waterfall as I looked over the edge I could see that it was a fall indeed.
I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes, sat up, and opened them again to find that I was on a comfortable couch, in a room that was nicely decorated with furniture, nick-knacks, and animals so many animals. The sun was shining through a window, everything was perfect.
"Whelp I'm dead. Took me long enough, now I got time for a nap!" I claimed quite boastfully while I laid back. It was at that point that I noticed that the couch was too small. Normally on a three-seated couch I fit perfectly to sleep, but now my feet and head were propped up on the arm rests. In fact everything in the place seemed just too small the chairs, the coat rack, the modern art in the corner, and the coffee table. All seemed to be half the normal size. The coffee table caught my attention the most as it was mid-shin level and held my personal effects that I keep in my pockets. Something even worse then the beats in the woods. I thought. Then my eyes drifted to the modern art project in the corner, it looked like a night stand that was put together in a very weird way like some one didn't know what a night stand is for. I wanted to get a closer look at it, so I stood up and hit my shin on the coffee table. I let out a sound that could split earth. Quickly falling back I looked over my leg expecting to find a bruise but really finding that my shin was wrapped in gauze soaked in blood. Upon further inspection, I saw that I was down to my boxers and cover in gauze and band-ads and even a headband with tassels in the back. Everything but the headband was white with blood on it, the headband I could identify as part of my suit that was missing. Guess I’m not dead, but I am out a nice suit.
Just as I started to ponder over why I seem to be teleporting in random locations in varying states of heath, a door in another room slammed open to give me the answer to my question.
"Are you OK? I heard a frightful scream." A feminine voice called. She was quite with a panicked tone, which could mean only one thing.
Oh goodie, an introvert! I thought sarcastically.Oh well, maybe I can still pry some answers form her. "I'm fine, I just hit my shin on the coffee table."
"The right one?" her voice calmed.
"Umm... yeah."
"Oh my!" Then the owner of the voice walked in or rather trotted in. She was a pale yellow mini-pegasus with a pink mane and anime eyes. She continued, "That shin had the skin removed from it. I'd imagine that it is very sensitive right now." she talked a really soothing tone. She stood by the couch I was sitting on with caring eyes. They looked familiar but I couldn't remember where I saw them.
I was speechless, not as much by the talking horse part but that I was looking at my favorite mythical animal. "Um..." I couldn't think of a thing to say. My mind was full of thoughts but I couldn't organize them, I knew why too.
"Coffee?" She asked.
She had read my mind. I looked at her with wide eyes.
"I'll take that as a 'yes'." She trotted back to the other room with a skip in her step and a smile on her face.
I thought of running but the temptation of coffee was too great. I should get dressed. I searched the room for my bag to find it next to the modern art project. Upon removing the blanket that I had hardly noticed I felt a very unkind breeze waft through the room. Making an effort to avoid the table I stood up to get a light headed sensation. I drunkenly made my way to the bag and fell down next to it.
I heard rushed steps from the other room, before the worried looking pegasus poked her head it to the door way.
I looked at her from my new position. "I'm fine," I started with a slurred voice, “I just need to get something from my bag."
She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "Now be careful you lost a lot of blood and shouldn't be doing anything too extraneous." she smiled again before going back to the other room.
Walking across a room is too extraneous? Thinking on that my whole body did hurt, so maybe it was. I proceeded to don my olive green cargo shorts and plain purple tee shirt. They were dry thanks to my waterproof backpack. I liked the clashing color choice it made fashion people face-palm. I noted a clear trash bag that had blue and white blood stained rags in it. My heart sank. I opened it to confirm my suspicion that it was my suit.
The pegasus waked in with a tray in her mouth caring two mugs on it, which she placed on the table. She saw me looking in the bag. "Oh...um... sorry but um... I had to cut off your um... clothes to address your injuries, sorry." She said quietly with a sincere tone.
"It's okay," I said with a sad expiration, "It was just the first suit I had and I was really proud of it." I closed the bag sat on the couch. I saw she was really upset over it almost near tears. "Oh come on now." I tried to be more reassuring. "I got it all dirty, bloody and beat up before you got to it, and I bet I can still fix it." Their was no way that I was going to salvage that mess, but I really didn't want her to cry. I tried to change the subject. " I mean no offence when I say this, but what is your name?"
We sat their for little while, drinking our coffees, but I think her's was a hot chocolate as there where marshmallows swimming in it. My coffee was great it seemed perfect as if I made it myself. After I got my head cleared, I realized that I was talking to a pegasus over coffee, definitely not how I thought today was going to go. I decided to break the silence, "So you are a pegasus horse with the ability to talk and make a great cup of coffee." As soon as I said that I realized that she might take that as an insult, instead of an awkward way of eliminating an awkward silence that it was.
"Well... I'm a pony not a horse... but the rest is true." she giggled in a quite but happy tone, there was a slight blush to her face, which she tried to cover up with her hair.
Oh she is a pony, now everything makes scene. I sipped my coffee, and tried to think of something else to say. I'm normally answering questions not asking them. Yet again an introvert makes a conversion difficult.
"um... sorry for the interruption... but um... so if could tell my what you know... I could fill in the blanks." Fluttershy stated with a slightly more determined voice, but still quietly.
Maybe she is not such an introvert after all."Alright..." I started, putting my hand on my chin, and collecting my thoughts. "Well I was in a dessert, then I must have blacked out because I woke up in a forest, saw a taking zebra, then I ran from a beast thing, fell down a gorge into a river, and now I’m here." The story seemed so dumb and confusing when I said it.
The smile left Fluttershy's face mid-story. "Well, I don't know how you got here, the nearest dessert is a day and a half away by train, but I don't think that's the one your talking about." she brushed some of her hair out of her face. There was something with her eyes but I couldn't remember what. "The forest that you’re taking about is the Everfree forest, home to many weird animals and my friend Zecora who must be the zebra. The river must lead to the one outside my house were I found you floating." She looked down at her lap with a sad expression. "The hospital has a pre-approved list of species that it will take and I know you weren't on it and the vet doesn't let me take carnivorous animals that they don't have records on since the last time I did that." She shuttered at the last part. But collected herself quickly and continued. "With nowhere else to go, I took you in and tried to fix you up." The smile returned to her as she looked into my eyes.
Then I realized that this pony had saved my life. The moment was short lived as an unknown flying object hit my head on a sore spot. "Owwwwhoho" I cried falling down on the couch.
"Angle! I told you not to go near Megas!" Fluttershy said in a stern and louder voice, it still seemed like she was below a normal talking voice but it was the loudest I heard her yet.
To may horror I saw a white rabbit sitting on the floor shrugging. Terrified I gathered all my positions and bolted out the door into the other room in a flash. To find even more rabbits sitting about staring at me. I panicked and jumped out the nearest window, it was only now that I knew that I was on the second floor. Was being the correct word as by the time that I noticed the mistake the ground was fast approaching. The ground hurt, it hurt like hell. At least I’m away from those rabbits. there are a number of things to jump out of a second story window for and 'because there is rabbits in the current room' is at the top of my list of reasons. Rabbit are my only irrational fear, not to say that nothing else scares me it just that everything else has a reason that it scares me, rabbits though there is no reason that they scare me so bad.
Resting against the wall after making sure there were no more rabbits near me. Two things popped into my head, first being that my vision was fading in and out, probably dew to the combo of my freak out and missing blood. Secondly there was something Fluttershy said what did she say that was so important? When I realized it I gasped.
That's when Fluttershy came around the building to me caring my unfinished coffee in her teeth. "lair lou lare!" she had managed to say around the cup. She gave it to me, which I gulped down the contents in a second. "Sorry about that." she said apologetically.
How many times has she said 'sorry' for nothing today?
"Angle can get a little cranky sometimes. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you." she stopped for a moment and examined the wall. " How did you get here so quick?"
"I took the express elevator,” pointing up at the open window.
"Oh my!"
"Fluttershy?"
"Yes."
"How did you know my name?"
The question took her by surprise. "um... well I uh... it is on your saddle-bag there see" pointing a hoof to my backpack.
True it had 'property of Megas' stitched into the strap. I had no reason to doubt her and it didn't seem important. So I let it go. "Alright, I should probably get going."
"You’re not going to stay then?" She asked with whimper in her voice.
"I'll stay around this town" pointing to some buildings in the distance, "until I can figure out what happened to me." I looked it her eye witch were full of tears. "We'll meet again, I promise."
"Okay." she said with a little smile and tear filled eyes
"Is there anything I can do to return your hospitality?"
"Just don't leave without saying goodbye, okay?" I nodded "you will want to go to my friend Twilight Sparkle she might know more about what happened." she said with a clear voice and head raised high.
"Alright, thanks."
Before too long I was on my way to Ponyvile as Fluttershy called it to meet this Twilight Sparkle.That name sounds familiar. Where did I... oh yeah, the bee person this ought to be interesting.
After leaving Fluttershy's cottage I decided to take inventory on my gear. I dropped my backpack on the side of the road and plopped beside it. I was a little woozy form the short walk that really boosted my confidence. I emptied my pockets to look over the important things first.
My survival knife with sheath and sharpener that I got for a going away present before leaving Anchorage, Alaska. looked in perfect condition excluding the scratch on it from the first time I sharpened it. I strapped it on to my waste with a belt from my bag. A navy blue belt just to add another color to this mix-mach outfit. I moved on to my lucky coin, it was the size of a half-dollar and made out of silver on one side it had a pink heart with a purple peace symbol in the heart. On the other side it had the word MEGAS in bold blue letters standing out, I don't know were it came from but I had it for as long as anyone knows, and I got my name from it. I placed it in the watch pocket of my shorts for safekeeping. Next was my watch, currently the watch part is nonfunctional, but it has a compass and a small dry-box on it. I got this after I missed a train in Manhattan, New York forcing me to stay in that miserable city for two more days. Worst mistake I ever made, the watch is nice though, when its working that is. My wind-proof lighter got this from some guy I help in Pennsylvania. It's has a polished chrome finish, shiny. I placed it deep in my right pocket. Then there is my lantern bought it at a swap-meat in North Carolina for an empty water bottle, a taco, and fire hundred yards of different types of string. It charges in the daytime and can stay on all night if need be. How I still had this is beyond me it was in my hand when I went for my swim, guess I didn't want to lose it. I put it on it's place on the side of my back-pack, and my sunglasses that I got the day before I got here. Blue reflective lenses, and white frames, very cool I put them on.
Moving on to less important items I had my sleeping bag and thermal-blanket, although I was missing the tent not that I’ll cry over that. Leaky piece-o'-crap. Five M.R.E.'s, a change of clothes, a mess of granola bars, some books on flora, fauna, and knots, socks a lot of socks, a pair of finger-less gloves, rope, a pair of wet red canvas shoes, life saving aspirin, a bottle of hair spray, first-ad kit, an inkwell pen, and a pile of new rags. Looking through what used to be a nice suit I fond that my checkered red tie was undamaged, I tied it on to the bag to dry. I noted that my wallet was empty as it normally is.
Alright time to go to ponyvile. I strapped my backpack on and set for the small town. Bear-foot, I hate wet shoes. As soon as I stepped foot in town ponies were staring at me. Before I left Fluttershy told me that Humans don't inhabit Equestria and that ponies have never seen us before. So I expected it. But I quickly found things she didn't tell me like the fact that there are unicorns here or why everpony has a different tattoo on there sides. As I walked though town I saw ponies of every size and color, all of them looking at me. Some just kept ding their daily activities but kept an eye on me, others had a look of terror on them as they cower away from me. But there wasn't an eye looking anywhere but on me. Then I stopped and thought Who is Twilight Sparkle and where can I find her or him. I face palmed.
Then two ponies turned a corner on to the street I was on. The mint green one looked star struck but the cream one saw me and screamed." IT'S A MONSTER FROM THE EVERFREE FOREST, EVERYPONY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" That started a panic in the town.
Everypony was freaking out, while I causally walked through town. Apparently several of them did know I was the monster because they ran right past me. "I need somewhere quite to think. Now where is a quiet place..."
"How about the library? It pretty quite there." I heard a north British voice say.
I turned to see a brown pony looking over his newspaper sitting on a bench. I took a few steps toward him. "Okay, where do I find this library?" I asked slowly.
He pointed a hoof down the street, "One block down, turn left, keep going until you see a big tree,” as he was talking a gray pony came up from behind me and dove behind his bench, he did even flinch, "that has a sign with a book on it, can't miss it."
"Cool, thanks."
"Hey, are you the monster that everpony is screaming about?"
"Well, yeah." As a light blue unicorn nearly stepped on my feet tiring to get away from the monster as she put it.
"Do they know it?"
"I don't think they do."
"Well, best of luck to you." He told me, before going back to his paper.
"And to you." I said as I walking down the street.
Good to see that there is sane ponies in this place. Upon turning the corner I could see the library in the not to far distance, but I also found a big unicorn wearing a gold colored armor that stopped me as I turned.
"Halt! You are under arrest!" He yelled in a booming voice.
"What are the charges?" I replied in a loud voice so he could hear me over the growing screams.
He seemed surprised by the fact I could talk, but quickly regained his composer, “For attacking an innocent pony!"
"What!? I didn't hurt anybody!"
"Come peacefully, or I will use force!"
"Then use the force, Luke!" I chuckled while I turned the corner and ran back down the street. I didn't get to far before an unknown individual pulled me into an alleyway.
It whispered "shhh." In my ear before putting a hoof over my mouth, it tasted salty.
The guard stopped at the alley and looked around. "He went that way, sir." A familiar British accent said. Prompting the guard to run farther down the street. I looked across the street to see the brown pony sitting on a bench give me a wink, before going back to his paper.
I heard a sigh of relief from behind me "I think he's gone."
"Mrm-mha-mmh-mah." I tried to say as the hoof had seemed to be burrowing into my mouth.
"Oops. Sorry, he he." It released it hoof from my mouth. I turned to see a cyan pegasus with a rainbow main and matching tail, looking a hoof. "Ewe. Did you lick me?"
"Unintentionally." It sounded like I was asking a question. She rubbed the hoof on the sleeve of my left arm. “Ouch!"
"Weakling." She mocked. I rolled up my sleeve to show a bandage with a little blood on it. "Oh. Sorry." she looked somewhat amused.
"Whatever." I pulled out my shirttail and wiped off the rest of her hoof. "So, who are you?"
"I'm the fastest flyer in all of Equestria, Rainbow Dash, remember that it's important!" she boated with a smug look, and wings flared out. It must have been an after thought to her to ask me my name because she just said "And you?".
Her head is so big I wonder how she keeps it off the ground, let alone fly with it. She did save me from the guard though so maybe she’s not too full of herself. "I am Megas, the monster that everyone is screaming about."
"Yeah that's a pretty good prank you played there." Looking into the street there was a red main pony running around in circles. At that sight Rainbow Dash fell backward in laughter.
I wanted to tell her it wasn't a prank but I didn't see the need to. "Why did you help me with the guard?"
She stood up with a serious expression "Because he was going to take you to jail for no reason." She pointed up but kept her gaze on my eyes. "I was watching you from the sky since you entered town, you didn't do anything and it's Bonbon's fault for starting the panic. I wasn't about to let a guard push somepony around like that!" Her voice had a bit of pride and a bit of anger.
"Well...gee... Thanks."
"Don't mention it, and a word of advise if you don't want to get stopped again use the alley-ways, almost no pony even looks at them."
"Okay, cool."
"I got to go. Catch you later!" and like that she flapped her wings, took off, and was gone before I could even take a breath to say 'bye'.
Maybe she is the fastest flyer in this joint. I then continued to the library by alley-way, but there was something missing it took me a moment to put my finger on it. No one is screaming anymore. I looked out of the alley to see ponies going about their activities like I never even was there. Huh, guess things get old quick around here.
After some walking and stealthy maneuvering. I had made it to the library without anyone seeing me. There was a note on the door that read:
Out on important business.
Checkout papers are on the desk.
I'll be back around seven O' clock.
Be Honest.
I took the note with me and looked at it closely, it was perfect italicized cursive no easy feat for somepony without hands I'm sure. There was something that scratched my memory, but I needed to sit real bad and I was getting light headed so I just put it in my pocket. "Hello anyone here." there was no response. Good I'm alone. I went up a flight of stairs to get to the main room where I found an elaborate looking clock sitting on a big desk among other things. The clock read 2:35. So that means I have around four and a half hours to get out or convince an old lady that I’m not trying to eat her or her books.
I wanted to get some information on the area I was now in, but first kid's section that will give me some common knowledge. I found a book on the tattoos on the ponies, Odd thing to find in the kid's section. I found a big enough set in the main room and had just opened the page when in heard the door open and hoof steps fast approaching up the stairs.
As I heard the hoof steps come rushing up the stairs I took refuge behind the large circular desk in the corner, and was out of sight just in time. Unfortunately what most people do is go to the main desk once they enter a library, ponies are the same in this regard as a gray mare with a blond mane and an advanced case of lazy eye immediately discovered me.
"Hi, mister! What are you doing down their?" She said in an enthusiastic tone.
"I uh... I... drop my pen that's all." I stood up to get a better look at her. Other than the eyes she looked like ever other pony.
"What's a pen?" she asked with a small frown.
What have I gotten myself into? "um..." I searched the desk to find feathers where pens should be. "I mean quill. I had dropped my quill." I picked up a feather from the desk, a drop of sweat roll down my face from my head ban.
"Okay." she went back to her carefree demeanor she came in with. She turned her head a gabbed two books with her teeth from a saddlebag, placing them on the desk in front of me. "Can you check these in mister librarian?"
"Well I’m not a librarian."
"Then what'ch doing behind the desk silly?"
I'm just a random person reading books made for little kids, when I decided to steal office supplies. What do you do for a hobby? "I'm a new assistant." I picked up the books. "But I can help you with the books." The Iliad and throwing parties for dum-dum's. Fascinating. I trough the books under the left side of the desk because I had no idea what to do with them. "Anything else?" As long as it doesn't involve the dewy decimal system I'll be good.
"Yeah, I need help finding a book."
Crap. "Alright what kind of book?"
"Baking muffins!" she giggled excitingly.
Even though the library still used that infernal system, it seemed to be made with people that don't know it in mind. It was broken up into simple categories like ancient history, or adventure. Lucky for me there was a whole room of 'how to' books. After we got in, the room looked huge. We had to go down each individual row because I couldn't see all of the category names from the ends. After a while of going through increasingly wrong areas, I will never forget how red her face got at the more 'adult' sections, we found the cooking stand of books.
"Now where do we find a book on muffins?" I pondered as I looked at the large array of cookbooks.
The pegasus scanned the large shelves up and down "Oh, there's one!" she pointed up at a high shelf and sure enough their was a book with reflective yellow letters on the side the said 'muffins'.
"Well that's covenant." I looked for a latter near by there was none. I didn’t feel like getting the one from the main room, so I did what anyone else would do, I started to climb the self.
"I could get that." I heard the gray pony claim.
"No, I can get it."
"Well, okay, your the assent."
How could a pony climb a wall? They don't have anyway to grab onto things. The point was mute as I was just close enough to grab the book. I reached out to grab the book when my foot slipped and I fell fifteen feet back to earth landing flatly on my back. "This is getting old." I coughed out, the air had been kick out of me.
"It's, okay I can get it." she flapped her wings flew up and graded the book in her teeth in a second. Before helping me back to my feet.
"Right, pegasus I forgot."
We went back to the desk to rent out the book for her. After about ten minuets of using a quill I had gotten something comparable to a 7 in the date column on the checkout sheet, which meant that I had failed because I was going for a 3.
"Forget this noise!" I shouted in frustration, throwing the quill across the room. I garbed my backpack and pulled the special pen from the bottom. It was some kind of hybrid pen, a ball point that could be refilled, it came in a black cardboard case with a ribbon on it for aesthetics, the pen itself looked rather fancy white with gold colored paint on it. I was just going to pawn it if things got bad, but they never really did. I could always find work or food no matter where I went. So today I’m going to use this overly glorified paperweight.
The pen worked a lot better. I got to the part where it said name and had to ask. "What is your name?"
"Derpy." She said in a singing manner.
That is the best name that I have ever heard. That even trumps Jeremiah Johnson.
In a few minutes she had left humming a song as she exited.
"Well she was pleasant." I spoke to myself. "Maybe if I tell people that I'm a temp while the real librarian is away they won't be scared of me." I checked the clock, 3:25. "Time to get reading."
I had gotten through a book on cutie marks, another one on magic and unicorns, and was half way through a book on weather controlling pegasi, when the next patron arrived. I hide my kid's book in a drawer and waited for them to get up the stairs. In a salesperson like way I said "Welcome to the library."
"You! I know what you did!"
Before I knew what was going on I had a furious mare with an orange puffy main breathing down my neck. "And you are?"
"Carrot Top, you wild animal!" She was yelling at me.
"Shh," I said calmly "this is a library."
"Don't you shush me!" Her vice seemed to be increasing in volume. "Not after what you did to Bonbon!"
That statement confused me. "What?"
"Don't play dumb with me!"
I would think that hear voice would hurt by now but she won't stop yelling. "What?"
"You attacked Bonbon in the streets in cold blood, don't try to hide it I saw you!"
I think she told a lie, then she started to believe it. I just wanted her to stop yelling at me. "Do you have any proof?"
"I... I-I...uh." she started to think about it. This was my time to strike.
"A video clip, or a photo maybe, or even an injured Bonbon?" I asked in a quite voice.
She was biting her lip, and looking down.
Oh yeah, I have won! I had a little victory party in my head then asked her "Is there anything I can help you with?"
She replied coldly but in a hushed tone "I don't need your help, animal." She then left to a different wing of the library.
"Coffee, I need coffee." my eyes honed in on a table with a hot plate heating up a pitcher of the beautiful brown liquid. Hanging from the table read a sign that said For public use, Free.
I darted over to the table and took in the gorgeous sight before me. There was three pitchers each heated by a hot plat they were labeled regular, cinnamon, and extra-strength. There were all the sugars, cardboard cup holders, four different sizes of cups, lids for each size, a whipped cream bottle, napkins, stirrers and straws, and best of all fifteen different flavors of creamers all fully stocked and on ice.
After getting my delectable coffee, I finished the book on pegasi, and was drawn back to the note that I found on the door. When I saw the note again it hit me almost immediately, this was the same writing as on the note at the zebra's hut. By some stroke of luck I had found Twilight Sparkle's place of business without even tiring to. This made me happy because putting up with Carrot Top will be so much more worth it.
I was going though the books when looking for a culture book when I heard the door open again. Please don't be another Carrot Top. I turned on my heel to find the three newcomers had already made it up the stairs. Three little fillies wearing red capes sat at the entry way staring at me.
"Welcome to th..."
The white unicorn interrupted me. "What are you?"
I stammered for a second, "I'm the temporary librarian, is the..."
I was interrupted again by the orange pegasus, "No, she means what are you?"
I gave a halfhearted sigh then said in the best voice I could muster "I am a human. I am not a monster from the everfree forest. There is no reason to fear me in any way shape or form. Now, who are you supposed to be?"
There faces seemed to light up at that question, as they called off.
"I'm Scootaloo!"
"I'm Applebloom!"
"And I'm Sweetie bell!"
They all chimed in to say "And together we are the cutie mark crusaders!" in a ear shatteringly loud voice that beat Carrot Top, who I had hoped got lost in the back of the library and couldn't find her way back out.
I'm going to need more coffee. I feel like I should ask 'what is a cutie mark crusader but i'm afraid that they will answer. "Well, that's great now why are you here?"
"To git our cutie marks as liberryans." Applebloom spoke in a american southern accent that mutilated some words.
"Does the real librarian know about this?" I asked while trying to suppress a growing headache, with a sip of my coffee.
"Well... uh..." Sweetie Bell started.
"Of course she does." Scootaloo interrupt something these fillies were good at, but they were not good at telling lies.
I was going to make them leave but a certain orange mained mare was in my ear. "So now your turning Twilight's library into your den for foals that you have kidnapped!"
The three fillies left as soon as my sight turned to carrot top. I kept my cool and asked her "Have you made your selection?"
"Yes, I have!" she was still yelling.
I guided her over to the desk with the sign-out papers. I grabbed my pen but before I could even start the the '3' Carrot Top had taken the pen from me and was holding it in her mouth.
"I can do it without your help, animal!"
"Careful with that," I warned, "it's not like a quill."
"If you can use it than I can too!" She shifted it in her mouth, which caused the ink to squirt out right into her main.
That's why I call it an inkwell.
She got even madder, spiting the pen at me and biting down on a quill on the desk scratching furiously on the paper with the quill, without a word.
*CRASH*
"Well if you got that sorted out, I have a trio of fillies to deal with." I rushed of to the other room leaving Carrot Top behind.
I entered a room with rows of book shelves 50 feet high and a horse head statue made of wood in the middle, next to lay shards of a glass pot and two fillies were standing looking up at Applebloom at the top of a shelf rocking it back and forth.
I ran over and yelled "What is she doing?"
Sweetie Bell replied "She was going to get a book from the top but now she can't get down!"
As Sweetie Bell finish The book case Applebloom was on started to fall. As it did time seemed to slow again. I could see that at the angle the book case was falling it would hit the statue crushing Applebloom and hitting the others with all of the heavy books on the shelves. I could see what I had to do to save them all. Time speed up again as I rolled to pick up Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo, placing them aside from the danger. Then I dashed over to the statue kicked myself off of it to grab Applebloom hanging from a shelf and held her against my chest to protect her from the books slamming against my back. After it was done me and Applebloom crawled out from under the now toppled bookcase. The tree looked at me mesmerized.
"How did you do that, it was awesome!" Scootaloo asked in a enthusiastic tone.
I looked over my shoulder at the mess. "I don't know." I looked back at them with a blank expression and a cold voice, " But I do know that you need to leave before I tell your parents what happened here."
They all turned without a word and slowly walked out of the room with me following them, then to the stair to exit the building, I watch as they walked down the stairs and left out the door.
"Now your bullying the poor kids!" I turned to see Carrot Top staring daggers into me, "That's low even for an animal like yourself! You do know one of those poor little fillies is an orphan."
I took the seat behind the desk, "Then I have something in common with one of them." I gulped the rest of the coffee that I had left on the desk.
She was thrown off by the comment for a second before coming up with another insult, "Even the animal's own parents didn't want him! What a shocker!"
That one stung a bit. I put my head down on the desk and closed my eyes. And she calls me the animal? "Are you done checking out your books yet?"
"Yes I am despite your best attempts to stop me!"
"Wha... Can you please just go?"
"Whose going to make me!?"
A familiar third voice came in at that point "I am!"
I looked up to see Rainbow Dash standing like she was going to charge Carrot Top with her wings flared out.
"Protecting a wild animal Rainbow? This is just pitiful! Do you miss saving ponies so bad that you'll defend a monster like this?" She talked in a rather snooty way in my opinion, but still managed to be loud.
"The only monster I see is the one making fun of somepony for not having parents!" They were glaring into each others eyes at this point.
"How dare you!?" Carrot Top punched Rainbow in the face, Rainbow stumbled backward "This is an animal and does not deserve the title of 'somepony'!"
I knew this was not going to go well, and was thinking of ways to defuse the situation but I couldn't think fast enough, as rainbow tackle her opponent, into a roll before kicking her out of the roll and into a wall. Carrot Top quickly got to her hooves and throw a nearby stool that hit rainbow in the head. Rainbow fell to her side, but I had sneaked behind Carrot Top, so I could grab her pinning her fore legs to her chest. I picked her up wen't down the stairs and throw her outside.
To make sure she didn't come back I ran back up stairs grabed her books ran back down placed them beside Carrot Top, who was rubbing her head in pain, and said "These will be due in one week unless you renew." Then I slammed the door shut and locked it.
After locking the door with Carrot top on the outside I breathed a heavy sigh of relief, followed by the sudden need for coffee. But before I could think of what kind, my brain slapped me with a memory. My heart skipped a beat, and I cleared the stairs in two steps. When i got to the top I saw Rainbow lying in the same spot that I left her at.
It can't be. It's not possible. I walked closer to her she still didn't move. I stooped right above her and watched. Is it? Is she really...
*snore*
Another sigh of relief before I fell to my butt on the floor and watched Rainbow Dash sleep. She looks so peaceful. If it weren't for the blood dripping from her forehead, you would never even know that she was in a fight less then five minuets ago. She curled her legs against herself and snored a little more. "D'aw."
I decided that going into a nap due to a head injury may not be the healthiest kind of sleep, so thinking she may be suffering from a concussion I tried to wake her up.
I tried being gentile "Rainbow, time to wake up." I said soothingly to her.
It had no effect.
I tried shaking her a little "wakey-wakey"
*snore*
I moved on to a talking voice "Rainbow, wake up." shaking her rocking her on the floor.
She did nothing.
I pinched her neck a talked in a louder voice but she simply just snored away.
"Alright if you want to play it that way." I stood up and got the first aid kit from my backpack. Sitting back down near her head I said, "This is going to hurt." I wetted a cotton ball with some of the disinfectant alcohol then I wiped it over her cut on her forehead.
"AUGH!" she shouted as she rolled to her hooves jumped in the air and crashed to the floor again. She was wide-awake now and frantically babbling "Ow! Where did Carrot Top go? Why does my head hurt so badly? Stop spinning! Aaah my head!" She was saying all of this at the speed of an auctioneer with his pants on fire, and running around the room like one too.
"In order, I kicked her out. Carrot Top is apparently a champion stool thrower. You’re spinning not me. And I have some aspirin right here for you." I blurted out while she calmed down.
After she was back to a relaxed state I explained what had happened while she was sleeping while looking in a medical book in the first-ad kit about head trauma induced sleep, but found nothing. "So why does my forehead burn so much?"
I replied in a joking manner. "It's the alcohol compound that I use. It works but it burns to no end, I call it proof that some cures are worse than the ailment they fix."
Rainbow giggled a little. I put a band-ad on her cut. Then she spoke in a serious voice. "Fluttershy told me about you. Don't get the wrong idea about ponies, there are some real jerks like Carrot Top, but most of us are cool. W-what she said... it it wasn't right." she had a quiver in her voice on the last sentence. She was hiding her emotions well but not to well. She seemed upset almost like she was the one being mocked.
I tried to reassure her and change the subject at once. "I'm fine, don't worry. But I think that you should go see someone about your head injury. You may have a concussion."
She seemed to perk up at that. "Please, did you forget who I am? I can just trot this off. Besides if I leave then who will fend off Carrot Top if she comes back?"
I was skeptical "I'm not sure if that is a good idea."
"Shouldn't you get that checked out by somepony?" She was pointing a hoof at my right shin. The bandage on it wrapped the whole way around my calf, the front of the bandage was covered in blood.
I touched the bloody part with the tip of my finger, some blood stuck to my finger. "I should. But I don't have the option. As it is I don't have a cent to my name and I'm told I am not allowed at the hospital. Also I need to find Twilight Sparkle as she may have an idea of how to get me back to my world." as I said that the fact that I’m somewhere away from earth washed over me. It was a little depressing.
"Well I ain't going anywhere." She seemed a little annoyed.
I knew I wasn't going to convince her otherwise so I gave in. "Alright, I could use some company that isn’t yelling at me for no reason or tiring to destroy the library." I licked the blood off of my finger for no real reason.
Rainbow shattered as she saw me do so. "Are you a carnivore?"
I had to think for a moment as the question took me off guard. "Um... I think the correct word is omnivore."
Rainbow took a step back, she nervously spoke. "And what do you eat?" she seemed to shake a little.
I replied in a flat serious tone. "Rainbow I would never harm anything that I believe is sentient without first being attacked." I stained my collar. "I am a civil being not the cruel monster that that Carrot figure would have you believe that I am."
She seemed calmed by the statement but looked me over one more time. Her gaze stopped at my right hip.
I could figure out what she was looking at without breaking my sight of her. Crap. "My knife is a survival tool and nothing more. I'm normally out in the woods were it is important to have one."
"Its not that. Your leg is bleeding."
I looked down to see that part of my short's leg had turned a dark red. Not what I was thinking at all. I found the new cut and put a band-ad on it.
"Do you really think that will stop the bleeding?" She asked with amusement in her voice.
"No. But I might as well try to keep the place as clean as possible." I laughed but felt a heavy ball in my chest that left an unsettling feeling.
Some time passed as Rainbow read some books and I kept the charades of being a librarian up. Just having Rainbow in the room seemed to put ponies at ease as things went a lot smoother. It was hard to enplane why the one room had a collapsed bookcase in it, as I didn't want to blame three fillies thinking that no pony would believe me.
After another hour passed. I was reading a book about some religious thing of a princess god with the power to raise the sun. I really wasn't interested in it but this seemed to be widely accepted around here so I had to read it.
"Hiya!"
I nearly jumped out of my skin at the shock. But tried to keep my composure. I whirled around to see a pink pony that had somehow got around the desk without me noticing. "Hello." I voice was shaky and uneven.
The pony talked at the speed of light. "I saw you in the street and I was like OH new pony in town but then I realized that you aren't a pony at all, like duh right, but anyway I saw you then everyone stated galloping about I thought it was like a new type of party at first but then-"
My eyes drifted to Rainbow Dash who had fallen asleep some time ago.
"-so then I got my hat to start finding clues to find you and-" I started to wonder if this pony needed to breath. It didn't seem like it. "-so now here I am and here is your invitation!" She handed... well hoofed me an envelope that was covered in stickers and bounced down the stairway.
What had just happened? "I have no idea." answering myself.
After the pony left me confused and with at least fifteen questions, I just sat there for a little bit, pondering over what just happened. I got shocked out of my thought by Rainbow how had waken up and was shaking a hoof in front of my face.
"Hello, anypony home?"
"Huh, uh yeah um..." I looked at the envelope which looked to be made out of stickers.
"Oh," Rainbow started letting on she understands what had happened, "You meet Pinkie-Pie didn't you?"
"Wait. What?" I took a sip of my coffee in the hopes to clear my mind. "Who is Pinkie-Pie?"
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "She did it again didn't she?" Rainbow didn't wait for a response. "She probably told you a hundred different things but didn't tell you her name. She does that a lot." She sighed and looked at the envelope. "looks like your the guest of honor."
I was really confused now. "say what?"
"Pinkie just invited you to a party, and she is throwing the party for you. She only gives the special envelopes to the gust of honor." She nodded to the card in my hand. "Like that one."
I opened the flap of the envelope to be greeted by a cloud of confetti exploding out of it. I jumped at this but Rainbow just stood there as if she was expecting it.That was strange. Rainbow brushed the confetti off her mane while I just let what was on me be. "How did she..."
She cut me off "Pinkie can find a way."
I pulled out the card slowly and opened it carefully to make sure there was no more traps, I read it aloud.
Dear not-a-pony
I am throwing you a welcome party to welcome you to the town. It will be held at sugar cube corner Thursday night
Hope to see you there!
Happy, Pinkie-Pie
I read over it again to find a more accurate date but it just said Thursday."What is today?"
"Tuesday"
"Well, she sends invites well in advance doesn't she."
Rainbow shrugged.
I heard another pony making there way up the stairs. "Back to the grid then."
***
A while later I had all the book knowledge that I needed and another coffee or two, so I was just sitting around waiting for Twilight to show up. Rainbow was fast asleep again, with the book she was reading covering her face. It looks like an Indana Jones book but with ponies.
At that point i heard another pony coning up the stairs. This is a busy place for a library. As the pony reached the top of the stairs I gratuitously said. "Welcome to the library." The unicorn stopped and looked at me with a quizzical stair. She was a pale purple. with a neat black main that had pink and purple colored steaks in it. she had saddle bags full of what I thought at the time were books. "Is there anything I can help you with?" I forced a smile though the awkward air.
She looked over at Rainbow snoring away in a chair on the other side of the room, before speaking "No." She then rushed over to the sleeping pegasus woke her up and had a conversation in a hushed tone.
I wonder what there talking about. me, maybe? Better not eavesdrop I only have a half hour before seven, and I would really hate to mess up now.I turned the other way toward the entrance to find that a owl was sitting on the desk. "Um... Hello."
"Who?"
"Uh. Hello to you."
"Who?"
"Who am I? I'm Megas, and you are?" I forced another smile.
"Who."
"Your name is who?"
"Who?"
I don't think that this owl is as smart as I thought it was.
"His name is Owlowiscious." I looked back to see the unicorn near the desk. She was looking through all the check-out papers which had really piled up as the day went on. "Did you fill all of these out?"
"Most of them, yes." My eyes widened as I saw that she had a few small red welts on her back. "Are you Twilight Sparkle?"
she looked back to me with a shocked expression. "Yes. How did you know that?"
"Lucky guess." I jumped out of the seat and around the desk. "Sorry, for impersonating you. But it was the only way that I could get ponies to not panic when they see me."
"Its fine."She seemed more interested in the papers than anything else. "I didn't think that handwriting could get this neat."
"Yes well I had a lot of practice." I suddenly remembered the disaster that had happened with the fillies. "Um,,, There is a bit of an issue in the other room."
"What kind of issue?" She asked unconcerned holding the papers with her magic.
"Well there where these three little fillies..."
Twilight dropped the papers letting them scatter on the floor. "The cutie mark crusaders?" there was a ting of fear in her voice.
"So you heard of them?"
Twilight facehoofed "Every other week anymore those fillies are in here tiring to destroy my library." she seemed angry but was tiring to keep calm "What did they do?"
"I'll just show you." I lead her to the mess.
"The CMC are going to be the end of me." She surveyed the wreck. "Did you stop them before they could do more damage?"
"Yes I made them leave immediately after this."
Rainbow, who had followed us into the room, was rolling on the floor laughing. "Squirt is going to have one heck of a story to tell!"
Twilight ignored her. "Well I guess you saved my library. Those girls would not have stopped until there was nothing left."
"I think this would have stopped at lest one of them if I had not intervened." Rainbow had stopped laughing instantly.
Twilight was shocked again. "Oh, well then thank you. Now then what do you need me for?"
I explained what had happened and why I needed her help, but the conversion grow into all sorts of things we talked about magic, we talked about ourselves, we talked about our experiences. Before I knew it a hour and a half had passed.
"I can look into ways of getting you home but if you don't mind I would like to do some tests on this 'Time slowing' ability before you go."
"Well I don't have anywhere I need to be, and I would like to know what is with that." Nothing like that had happened before I got to Equestria.
"AH, It s the monster from this morning!" A voice cried from behind me.
I turned around to be greeted by a hoof in my mouth that knocked me to my back. I tasted blood. "Everyday is one of those days here."
"Applejack! What was that about!?" Rainbow yelled out.
"Sis no, that's the stallion that saved me!"
I thought of retaliation for a moment but I thought that would make more ponies hate me, and I still ached from my accident or accidents as it is more correctly called. So all I could do was sit up and hope that they don't hit me back down. What I saw came as a bit of a surprise, there was a blond orange mare with an ashamed look holding a hoof out to help me back up.
"ahm sorry, fer that. I just saw you durin the panic and Carrot Top..."
"Carrot Top. It's al-right." I chocked on a little blood, while getting up holding on to Applejack's hoof. I felt an empty spot were my cuspid should have been, and I felt a bump in her hoof. I looked at it and then my mouth suddenly rushed full of pain. Fighting throw it I got my first-ad kit and shoved a piece of cotton in the gap in my mouth. Then I moved onto Applejck.
"What er ya doing?" her accent was worse than Applebloom, who I had only just notice was here.
"Fight bite." I replied. She looked at me quizzically. "Look at your hoof, the one that probably really hurts right now."
She turned her front right hoof to look at the bottom of it. "What the hay?" She had found the crown of my tooth embedded in her hoof.
I had to chock passed blood and searing pain again. "It's called 'fight bite'. You hit me so hard that you broke my tooth." I stooped down next to her hoof. "This will just take a moment."
"Ah feel real bad bout OW bout hitting you. You saved my sister and ah punch yooooou in return." I would be lying if I said that I was tiring to make it painless for her, but I did remove the tooth and clean her cut, even gave her a band-ad.
I looked at the broken tooth in my hand. "Nothing that can be done now I guess."
"Twi, don't cha know any magic to fix a tooth?"
Twilight shook her head. "I don't, but Colgate does."
"Colgate?" I asked. Worried that this is going to be painful.
"She's the local dentist. She can fix any dental problem in minutes, and first visit is free." Twilight looked at me knowingly.
She must have figured out that I wouldn't have any of this world's money. "Guess that I have nowhere easle to go."
Twilight grabbed my tooth in her magic and dropped it in a cup of milk that I have no idea where she got so quick. "Lets go, no time the present. Bye everypony." She trotted down the stairway.
I followed waving to the three ponies still in the room. "I'll see you later then."
"Bye mister, and thanks for saving me." Applebloom said with a sincere expression.
Applejack looked sad "I'll make up fer this. you can count on it."
Rainbow let out a snore.
Wasn't she awake a moment ago? She must do a lot of work. The streets were empty and the sun had already set. We started to the dentist with the tooth "Good no ponies means no panic, and no panic means no me getting arrested."
"I heard about that. What did you do to start that?"
"I walked down the street."
Twilight waited for more but when she did get more she asked "And?"
"That's it really. Walked into town, ponies freaked. Not anything else to it."
"Well... I don't know what to say to that."
"HUMAN!" At that moment I was tackled to the ground and pined by a mint green unicorn. "I knew you were real I knew it knew, I knew it, I knew it." She was talking quickly and loudly I knew it would wake others, and I really didn't want to deal with that right now.
Before I cold say any thing to get her to be quite, a zipper appeared on her mouth out of nowhere and zipped shut. Twilight whispered next to her "Lyra, be quite. If you keep yelling ponies are going to wake up and the human is going to have to run away. So be quite, okay?"
She nodded. Twilight's horn glow and the zipper disappeared. The new pony, Lyra, began talking in a hushed tone. "A human i have so many question for you."
"Can you get off of me first? Your making it hard to breath." I wheezed.
"Oops sorry, hehe." she stepped back and helped me to my feet.
I brushed off the hoof prints on my shirt "My name is Megas, what is yours?" I already knew the answer I was just bad at small talk.
"I'm Lyra Heartstrings."
Wish I had a last name. "Well Lyra I was on my way to get a tooth fixed but if you want you can come along to ask these questions of yours." I wanted to know how she knew what I was as I am told that there are no humans on this world, I think it would be difficult to learn about them.
A smile light up on her face of amazing size, with stars in her eyes to boot. "I would love to!"
As we walked Lyra asked so many questions, they weren't hard, but there were so many and a large number of them were about my hands. I just don't know how somepony can get so interested in something that didn't exist two days ago. when I got to ask her how she knew of humans she couldn't answer she just clammed she always knew somehow. At least i'll have another ally in this place.
After ten minutes of walking and a truck load of Q and A. we arrived at a small house, that didn't look anything like a dentist's place of business. What would I know about what a dentist would look like? Twilight knocked on the door.
Before a second had gone by a familiar blue unicorn pocked her head outside. "Twilight I haven't seen you since I tried to kill you at the wedding." She look like she was lost in fond memories. "Sorry, bout that."
Lyra stopped her bombardment of pesky questions to say. "Oh, me too Twilight." before immediately going back to her endless list of questions.
"I'm sure that's an interesting story."
Twilight shrugged to my comment. "It was pretty well shadowed by the invasion of Cantorlot." Twilight went back to Colgate. "How did you get out of the caves anyway?"
"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza trough the flowers right in to a slide that took us back to ponyvile." She smiled then turned to me. "Hay, I seen you before."
"I can't imagine where, I'm new in town." Please don't recognize me.
"Yea I saw you in the panic talking to Whooves. Did you see the monster, I missed him."
"Um..." Don't say anything stupid... Better yet don't say anything at all. I shacked my head, no.
"Well keep on the look for it, I hear it's a giant red shaved ape with horns and a mouth that reaches it's belly button."
She just described a doom monster. That hardly fits the description of a skinny white guy like myself.
"Well anyway lets look at your broken top left canine, shall we?"
I was bewildered for a moment. "How did you know all of that?"
"I'm just good at what I do." Colgate smiled with a amount of pride in her voice.
with that she lead us into a room with the big chair and she got me to sit in it. She then washed her hooves put on a face mask with safety glasses and gloves, that seem more like socks to me.
Colgate was on my left and Lyra and Twilight were on my right. Lyra had stars in her eyes while Twilight was looking at Colgate skeptically, Colgate didn't notice. "Open wide."
When I did open my mouth Lyra started hopping around the chair saying "They do have that teeth thing, great for eating veggies and bugs and meat..."
"Meat?" Twilight was looking in my mouth closely.
Colgate didn't miss a beat. "Yep, animals only have these teeth when they eat meat. But look how white they are. There near flawless." She was obviously more interested in how clean my teeth were than there function, Twilight on the other hand was taken back for a second, but regained her composer with a little smile. Colgate used her magic to lift the tooth and place it to its spot and with a small flash of light she said. "All done, good as new."
"That's it?" I asked, "Why did you do all of that prep work if that's all you had to do?"
"Take your job seriously and other will take you seriously." She said with pride in her voice again, she looked rather smug.
"Great! now we can talk more." Lyra was touching her face to mine, she smelled minty. then she was yanked off of me by the purple glow of twilight's magic.
"Don't you have to go do something with Bonbon?"
"Twilight, that's not until Thursday night."
Twilight face hooved. "Not that. But shouldn't you be with her? I heard she was hurt in the panic."
"Yeah, Carrot Top tripped her and she hit the ground kinda hard." Lyra looked a little saddened. "I guess I shoud go to her. See ya Megas... and Colgate and twilight." She dashed out the door into the night.
Colgate gave me a bag of dental stuff. "come back soon."
We made our goodbyes before Twilight and I left together.
"So, Megas. I guess you don't have anywhere to stay tonight do you?"
"I normally can find a place to put up camp, I do this a lot after all."
"Well how about you come back to the library I have a guest room that you can use and you be right there for testing in the morning."
I thought about I normally don't like staying in people houses, but I still do hurt all over. "Alright sure. Thanks."
We made some small talk on the way back. She talked about her friends most of whom I already meet today. But she talked about Rarity, a fashionista, I knew that that was going to be the pony that I surprise with my none matching clothes. I giggled when i thought about it.
When we got back to the library Rainbow Dash, who had not left yet, was digging through my bag. She said "hi" before going back through my bag. "Why do you have so many socks?"
"I like socks. The real question is why are you going through my bag?"
"Food." She glared at me a little. "Not meat food."
I didn't take any offence to the way she said that. she did help me out a lot today. "There is granola bars in the third pocket down, help yourself."
"Are you going to be staying over again Rainbow?" Twilight asked hopefully.
"Yeah, sure." She sat in a seat with a granola bar and took the seat next to her.
"Great! It will be like a sleepover! I'll go get my book!" Twilight darted out of the room.
"I guess your staying too, huh?"
"Yep."
"I call top bunk." Rainbow said quickly.
"Ok..." I didn't much care I was too tired to argue and before I knew it I was asleep.
It was cold, and the snow storm made it even harder to keep walking but I had to. I had no idea where I was or where I was going but I knew that I had to keep going. My oversize boots sunk into the deep snow, they collected snow on the inside as the brims were not against my legs. I folded my arms and held them close to my chest. Inside my red parka I could feel her I held her tight, I wasn't going to lose her. The hood was ripped off of the coat, so my head was exposed. I looked out at the horizon I saw nothing but the endless white out storm that I was trapped in. The wind was pushing me back but I had to keep moving. The cold was seeping though my coat, the only thing that kept me the sliest bit warm was the fact that I had her with me. It felt like hours, or even days before I saw the town. I was walking with my eyes closed as the white hurt them. Then I fell down a side of a hill covered in snow. On the slide down I hit some rocks sticking out of the snow, but the cold had numbed me too much for me to care. Then I saw it a dump of a town, no larger then 2000 square yards. Half of the town was full of abandoned two story houses. I found refuge in one. The place was mostly clear save for some old broken furniture. I found the fire place, fortunately the previous tenants left some starter fluid and some matches on the mantel above it. I tore off some wall paper and got a wood chair and threw it all into the fire place. I squirted some fluid on it, then got the matches. At first it was impossible to light a match, my hands were to weak from the cold. It took me ten heart-breaking minuets of rubbing my hand together and blowing on them to get enough sensation in them to strike the match but when I did my heart skipped a beat in joy. I lit the fire and to my joy it started right up I warmed my hand and dried my clothes and boots by it. I reached it to my pocket of my jeans and found a coin. It was about the size of a half dollar silver, on one side it had a pink heart with a purple peace symbol in it. The other side had bold blue letters that read MEGAS.
"Megas?"
I had no idea what to make of the coin so I just put it back in my pocket. I unzipped my coat as she fell out. I picked up a dirty black and white toy cat with a rattle in it's head. I looked into her glass teal eyes and felt safe. She had a soothing effect on me that I couldn't explain. I petted her matted dirt and soot covered fur.
I jump out of the chair and sleep with a scream loud enough to wake the dead. I was sweating, and my heart was beating at a pace that I had never felt before. When Twilight and Rainbow came into the room in a rush, I was on the floor with tears running down my face saying one word over and over.
"So the big bad meat eater had a bad dream." Rainbow teased before going into a laughing frenzy rolling on the floor.
Twilight shot her a disapproving glare before talking to me. "Just stay calm and tell us about the dream."
I was still tiring to collect all of the thoughts racing around in my head when Twilight told me to explain but I still did. "It wasn't as much a dream as it was a memory, my first memory to be exact."
"Your afraid of your first memory?" Twilight seemed concerned, but Rainbow just laughed harder at what Twilight said.
"Well..." I had no idea how to explain anything.
Twilight noticed my confusion and changed her question. "Who is Crisila?"
That was not a good change of topic. I sat against the wall. "She was a toy cat I had for as long as I know. I lost her a year ago. I don't want to talk about it."
Twilight opened her mouth to say something but she was cut short by Rainbow. "Aw, dose the carnivore miss his kitty?"
"RAINBOW DASH, stop mocking him about his diet! You know I give Spike some meat every now and then, and you were best friends with a griffin, one of the most cruel carnivores to ever live, both of who you never bothered about this!" By the end of Twilight's scolding she was standing over rainbow staring her down causing Rainbow to shrink into the floor.
Not as shaken as she looks Rainbow slided over next to me and put a arm, leg (what ever you call it) around my shoulder. "Don't worry Twi, Megas knows i'm only kidding." She then proceeded to punch my arm in what would be a playful manner if I had not had a twig go through my bicep the day prior.
She was kidding? I had no idea. "Of course I know." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as well deciding not to aggravate the issue. "You crazy pony that has even less of an idea of what a hot-dog is than I do." I may never find out now.
"Um... What is a hot-dog? Is it a..."
"NO, no. It's not dog." I stopped Rainbow.Or is it? "I think it's soylent green."
Rainbow and Twilight looked at me with raised eyebrows. "And what is soylent green?"
People. "Not important. Oh look at the time I should really...um..." at times like these my mind always drifts to the same thing. "coffee! I should get coffee."
"It's only 5:15. Is that normal for humans?" It seems to me that Twilight explains things with science a lot.
"Well, no. But i'm not normal." Why do I sound like i'm tiring to keep a secret?
Twilight looked me over. "Alright, I'm going back to bed for about two more hours, then we can start the tests."
"I'm looking forward to it." I gave her a thumbs up but I don't think she knew what it meant. She just left.
"Oh stallion, are you in for a surprise." Rainbow was talking with a bunch giggles in her.
did she just say 'oh stallion'?"Why is that?"
"Twilight's tests are in depth, sciency, and cold." she laughed a little more. "I remember when she tested Spike." she laughed again and hard.
"Well, if that is how it's going to be I need to do my hair, and I only have two hours to do so. That is hardly enough time as it is." I pulled out my most snewdy of accents which I reserve for talk of my hair.
"Hehe, Well good luck with that." She went down a hallway. "I'm going to hit the hay, see ya in the morning."
'See ya in the morning.' I probably heard that three times in my life and this is the first time I heard a girl say it. I shook my head to clear out the thoughts that that statement implied, to go get some coffee. I find that my thoughts have a mind of there own without coffee. They are also overwhelmingly random, if I was looking at art at a museum without coffee i might be thinking about how many hippos I could fit in the white house.
After I got a strong coffee yo keep the thoughts in check, I got my hair spray and moved to the bathroom. It takes me seven minutes and twenty-six seconds to style my hair, I counted. I like to look at it in the mirror for a little while after.
"Oh, yeah I forgot to say my name is Pinkie-pie!"
I jumped in the air and hit my head off the roof, I fell back down and hit my head on the floor.
Some would say that two consecutive blows to the head following a mini-heart attack caused by a pink pony would be a pretty bad day, I call it Wednesday.
"Hello, anypony home?"
I was woozy and tiring to clear my blurred vision, Do to a mild concussion the only sound I could make was unintelligible grunting noise. "Urgh."
"Was that your name or the answer to if anypony is home?" she asked with cheery but quizzical tone.
As I was laying on the floor of a public restroom with a talking horse no more than an inch away from my face, all I could think about was the mysterious smell of cotton candy in the air. "Grah." I raised to my feet as my vision cleared. "My name is Megas, Oh... my head."
"Neat-oh Megas-oh."
Dang it. I just started something. "Why are you in the men's room?"
"Men's room?" She looked confused.
Isn't that what the sign on door said?
"This is the Mare's room silly willy." She had a smug smile, although I am pretty sure that she didn't know it.
five thirty dyslexia. A disorder that seven out of every eight men suffer from.
"I followed you to get your name so I know what to put on the banner for the party tomorrow." She hopped to the exit "See you later." With that she was gone, so I just shrugged and went back to admiring myself in the mirror.
"I need a shave soon."
***
After waiting around for some time I had put on a pair of olive green pants with the purple shirt I put on the red tie even though it was a t-shirt, read three books on this fairy tale princess Celestia and downed around two and a half quarts of coffee, other than Pinkie-pie's little visit it was a good morning. Twilight woke at seven around the time that I was on my sixth granola bar.
"Good morning Megas. Anything eventful happen?" She asked in a joking tone.
I had to answer "Pinkie-Pie."
She just giggled "I got an invention for the party under my pillow."
Rainbow came into the room and spit out a pink envelope onto the floor. "Ditto. How did she know I was here?"
It was somewhat concerning that Rainbow was more interested in how she was found rather than why Pinkie-Pie would put an invention under her head as she slept. I decided not to push the issue because from what Twilight told me that's normal behavior for the pink mare.
Twilight shrugged "I don't believe that we have even begun to understand what Pinkie knows."
"I'm going to go make breakfast." Rainbow turned to go down a hallway. "Pancakes okay with you two?"
"Yeah, I'm sure they'll be great. Oh, Megas you can eat pancakes, right?"
I was slightly distracted by a multicolored fly on my arm. "I'm sorry. What?"
Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Pancakes. There fried batter with sugar syrup, optional fruit."
I hate when I miss things. I feel like I only herd the punch line to a joke.
"I'm bored. I'll just make a blueberry one for him." Rainbow said with a bored tone to mach her expression and words as she left the room.
Twilight turned her attention to me. "So anyway now we have time to go over the tests I think will be useful." She smiled and pulled a small scroll for out of nowhere. "Now after breakfast I think a psychological review should be he first thing to do. This is all the questions that I ask for any psych related test."
"That doesn't look very long."
She unrolled it to revile that the scroll was around fifty feet long, far larger than it first appeared to. "I use a shrink spell on most of these scrolls, it makes for easy storage."
I looked over the paper and my heart skipped a beat "This is pretty small text, I'm not sure I can read it." Is this quarter point writing?
"Firstly, I can make it bigger."Twilight's horn glowed a lavender aura and the parchment grew to three times the size. "Secondly, I will be reading the questions to you. To better gauge your answers." Once more her horn lit up and the scroll shrunk back to a pocket sized form. "I almost forgot. No peeking, it needs to be thought of on the spot. That will concluded day one."
When it got around time for breakfast I tried to decline not wanting to owe Twilight even more, but she insisted that i was going to need a full stomach for the psych test. I didn't eat anything but granola and cold M.R.E.s for the last forever, so flapjacks were a terrific change of pace. At first the meal was fine, the two ponies talked to each other leaving me to my thoughts, but soon Rainbow asked what at first was a simple question.
"Are there ponies in your universe?"
"Well, yes. But there almost nothing like you."
Then she asked a question that I didn't really know the answer to. "What are they like then?"
"Um... there... Uh..." How do I put 'brain dead livestock' lightly? "For starters their coats only have about four or five different color verities." I got a little nervous as I thought about how people put ponies in small rooms and allow anyone gawk at them at fairs.
Twilight must have noticed the quiver in my voice. "Is their something wrong?"
That didn't help at all. I really didn't want to offend the two of them after they have bin so nice to me. I bit my lip.
"They aren't intelligent are they?" Twilight asked still with a calm about her. "Judging by the way you talk, we're nothing but animals in your world."
"You are correct. Sorry."
"It's not your fault, not like you could do anything to change who they are. Besides we aren't them." Twilight giggled. "In this world humans don't even exist."
We didn't go to far into the subject. As I didn't want to say anything wrong. The rest of breakfast went fast, after we were done Rainbow Dash left but not before giving my arm a bruise. Twilight and I found a spot in the main room next to the window.
Twilight read over a clipboard before speaking. "Alright, first I need to tell you the state enforced disclaimer."
"Is that a law?"
Twilight smiled sheepishly. "It's called the the O.T.S.P. act." I raised a eyebrow. "The obsessive Twilight Sparkle prevention act." She blushed a little.
I decided to not let that get to me. "If that doesn't scream experience I don't know what does." I reached for my canteen but remembered that I lost it in the river. hope the fishes can use it, that was a good unbent tin can. "Continue."
"The participant, that's you, has the right to stop the test at any time that she/he wishes, additionally if the participant does not want to answer a question for any reason she/he has the right to skip any question." She levitated a pair of glasses and notebook over to herself. "Any questions before we begin?"
"Several, but none of them are test related."
"let's begin."
***four and half hours later***
At the end of the exam I felt violated in a place that I couldn't point to on a doll. I knew I could stop whenever, but I felt that would have meant that the test would have won. I was curled up on the floor mumbling something even I couldn't understand. While Twilight was reading a book in a chair not to far away.
"You should probably go to Princess Celestia. She will want to know about a new specie in Equestria." she giggled a little. "I guess you are an Illegal alien."
Before I could think of something witty to say a white unicorn came up the stairs. "Twilight darling, how are you?"
"Hi Rarity, I fine. Come and meet my new friend."
I rose to my feet. "Is that what you call all of your lab rats." I joked.
"Only the ones that I've seen the inside of there heads." she joked back
"WHAT ARE YOU WEARING!?" Rarity shouted in an ear spiting loudness.
"Well the pants are Bob's army navy, the shirt is by the thrift store, the boxers I found in a trash can, and the socks arrrah." I was suddenly picked up in a blue aura and was floating in the air upside down.
"This is a crime against fashion!" She claimed, tugging me along toward the door. "What were you thinking? If it were up to me ponies like you wouldn't be aloud to wear clothes."
I had found a comfortable sitting position while upside down. "Well, I had a suit, but it got sliced up."
"Where is this 'suit' darling."
"Over in the bag on the bag." I pointed but discovered that I was rotating clockwise with ever move, so it took me a few trys to point at my backpack.
The bag started to glow with a blue aura before being flung to me causing me to spin in a circle. "Twilight I'm renting this. Could you fill out the paper work for me?"
Twilight seemed to be taking this a little more seriously than Rarity. "Uh, sure. Just don't break him."
"Of course I won't darling. A lady would never break anypony." She said in a sophisticated way.
I interjected on that statement. "That's great for ponies, But what about me? Also, I presume that a lady is not above kidnapping?" My statement fell on deaf ears as I found that we were leaving the library and heading down the street.
"Bye, Megas. Come back soon." Twilight yelled waving a hoof.
"Megas?" Rarity shifted me to meet her eye to eye. "So you are the one that Pinkie-Pie is throwing the party for."
I was getting dizzy from all the violet turns while floating. "Uh-bla."
She raised an eyebrow in mild confusion before returning me to my upside down sitting position above her head "I guess it doesn't matter really. I can not let you go walking about in that horrid outfit."
"Death to the monster!"
"Not now Carrot Top." Luckily the loud mare must have been busy because she just left. I returned my attention to my abduction. "So this is for my own good?" I asked still keeping my cool.
"Yes it is dear."
"And I don't have a say in the matter."
"No you don't."
I'm being put under citizen's arrest for a crime against fashion. I hope the legal system doesn't work like this. "Why do you care what I wear? Your nude for goodness sake."
"When you pu... ARE THOSE FUZZY SOCKS!?" She had a furious tone at the latter half of her statement.
I looked up at my neon blue socks. "Yeah what about them?"
She was stunned. "What... about... them." her ear was twitching uncontrollably.
I just opened a door to hell, didn't I? Following that theme she had towed me to a odd looking shop that I didn't see before we got there because I was still rotating. I hit my head on the door frame causing me to spin in a different direction than the one I was spinning.
As we entered the shop Rarity spoke in a sophisticated voice. "Welcome to the Carousel Boutique. Where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique." She set me down on a stool and placed my bag beside me.
I looked around me it was the dress making shop Twilight said Rarity owned, it is apparently very successful and it showed as it was vary well decoded. There was vases, a giant chandler, and artsy paintings on the walls. Dresses seemed to be the only kind of clothes displayed and they were all very elaborate.
Well this is a nice change of pace. She then used her magic to violently rip off my socks and threw them in a trash can on the other side of the room. "Oi lady, those were good socks!" its rare that I yell but when someone tosses my socks it tends to make me a bit angry.
"No darling, those were atrocités affreux." She looked at me thinking that I didn't understand what she said. "that means..."
"Horrible atrocities! I'll have you know that those were some of the best socks I ever wore!"
"Vous parlez passade!?" She was shocked. "Mais tu es si inculte." I shot her a bemused look. (you speak fancy!?) (But, you look so uncultured) "Sorry, I just didn't expect somepony of your... style to understand la langue de l'amour.
(the language of love)
It took me a second to understand that fancy must be pony for french. "Can I have my socks back?"
Without missing a beat the unicorn replied. "No, you may not. Now to the matter at hoof, where is this suit that got 'sliced up' as you call it."
I untied the garbage bag on my backpack and held it up. "This is all that is left of it, what little there is."
She drew the bag closer with her magic and opened, The moment she did I could see her visibly gag. "Eww, it smells like a dead, rotting fish in a hoof ball gym locker."
I smiled. "Your close. That's a stew of a blue suit, my blood, and river water that sat in a trash bag for two days."
She didn't seem to amused by my joke. "Come with me. We have work to do." She then trotted off to another room, watching her leave I notice something was off, I knew exactly what but I didn't want to say anything, or even think about it really.
Quick change the subject. "What subject?"
"What was that, dear?" Rarity called from the other room.
"Nothing!" I ran into the room after her. The new room was in a sharp contrast to the main room. Their was far less decorations and it was very messy with fabric and other clothing things scattered on the floor. As soon as I entered the room I tripped over a roll of baby-blue silk and fell on to a pile of bows.
"Excuse the mess... are you alright?"
I was face down in what seemed like the softest pile of anything in the world. "Surprisingly, I'm good." I was almost bewildered by the fact that I wasn't injured by the fall.
I picked my self off of the pile and joined Rarity, who was by a rectangular table spraying a aerosol can of air freshener in the air, after the can ran out she levitated another can from a desk drawer and proceeded to spray half of it in the bag containing my suit. "Their, fresh as a daisy." She dumped the contents of the bag on the table and kinda passed out. She didn't really she just swayed a little with her front hoof on her forehead before staring angerly at me, asking "Aren't you going to catch me?"
I was confused but held out my arms where she would have fell to let her ungracefully fall into them, not that it would have mattered if the would have hit the floor, or rather cloth. Anywhere I stepped in that room I was standing on at least a foot of soft stuff. "Is there something wrong, deary?" I mocked.
She ignored the 'deary' and came back with the most mellow dramatic sounding voice I had ever heard. "Something wrong? Just look at this horrid arrangement of colors! It's simply dreadful!" She stood back up and pointed to spots on the pile of rags. "This professional blue with the ugly brown..."
"Rarity."
"...and the scarlet transitioning between the two..."
"Rarity."
"...it's like somepony took a professional garment and threw paint at it."
"Basically... yeah."
She looked angry again. "Is that to mean that you did this?" I nodded. "What were you thinking!" She yelled.
I fell backward onto more stuff from the power of her voice. "I was thinking about how dogs made out of snakes are more intelligent then they look." She looked confused. "Those aren't suppose to be there. There blood stains from getting the crap beat out of me on an impromptu river adventure." She raised an eyebrow. "I got chased by a thing, fell down a gorge into a river, and went over a waterfall and who knows what else before being found by Fluttershy, who had to cut me out of my suit to get at any wounds and injuries that I had."
"I see." I got back on my feet. "It looks like Fluttershy didn't want to cause you any discomfort, there isn't any real salvageable parts left to this, so we will have to start from scratch."
"Say what?" Before I knew what was happening I was being measured every which-way that was possible. "You should probably know that I am broke, like completely broke I don't even have too much to barter with since I lost a good bit of stuff in the water that also took my suit."
She laughed a little. "Dear, I wouldn't take you right off the street against your will and force you to pay. Think of this as a gift and a warning, the warning being that if you wear uncoordinated clothes again without working in the dirt or it being laundry day then I will be force to use extreme measures."
I hope that I will never find out what 'extreme measures' are. I didn't want to take any more favors but the determined unicorn protested and threaten me when I tried to decline her 'gift'.
After all the measurements were taken she tried imaging the suit in her mind's eye but couldn't. "Do you have any photos that I could go off of?"
"Hmm. Kinda." I searched through the pile of rags to find what was the heart pocket and pulled out a slimy magazine. I flipped through the pages to around the middle. I pointed at a picture. "It was based off of this suit."
She looked at the picture "Oh, lovely." A bell rang from the main room. "I should go to whoever is there, I'll be right back." She quickly trotted out of the room.
After she closed the door I hear a sneeze from the corner of the room. I turned around to see only a pony mannequin standing by itself. "Okay, if this goes anything like silent hill I'm booking it to the next universe."
I tapped my knife hanging from my waste. If I have to use this it won't be the first time it was used in defense. I chuckled a little.Nor would it be the first time I dismantled a mannequin because I thought one was evil. Mannequins don't scare me, not like rabbits do, I just don't trust them, especially when a guy that looks like Jimi Hendrix drugs me or one of them sneezes. I walked closer to it slowly, and knocked it over.
"Ouch!"
"Ah-ha!" I cried, before grabbing my knife and preparing to stab the large doll, but as I did a white hoof surfaced from the sea of cloth. "Holy crap, there's a pony down there." I sheathed my knife quickly as Sweetie-Bell poked out from under a half finished dress and ran out the door while Rarity trotted back in the door. "Is that your's?"
"Yes." She thought for a moment before nervously saying, "But not like mine, mine. She is my sister, I look after her while our parents are away on a week long trip, that has lasted six months now. A word of warning if you see her with two other fillies then it would be in your best interested to avoid them, their antics can get a little out of hoof, or hand, at times."
If only someone would have told me that yesterday. "I'll keep that in mind."
"I should be able to get the suit ready for the party tomorrow."
"Is their anything that I could help you with?"
She tapped her hoof to her chin in thought. "I do have something that I need help with."
"Alright, go on."
"You see, Spike, my usual helper, is away on an errand for the royal court. He helps me dig."
I waited for her to elaborate but she must have felt that she did't need an explanation. "Dig... What exactly?"
"Rubies, emeralds, sapphires, and diamonds of course." Her sparkled at each word.
"..." I searched through everything that Twilight had told me about Rarity, at no point did she say 'mine owner' or 'delusional'. "Come again?"
***
Within a hour we had a red wagon full of jewels of ever shape size and color. It was truly amazing how we could walk a mile away from town to a mountainous area and just start digging to find dozens of jewels.
I was digging in a two foot deep hole, while Rarity was looking for more precious stones with her magic and marking them with a stick. "Where did you learn to dig so efficiently, Megas?" She called out tiring to start small talk.
I decided to be honest, even though I probably shouldn't of. "Grave digging, and lots of it." I placed the jewels I dug up into the wagon, Still impressed at how many I could find in one location. "Any small town has a grave yard with a open gravedigger job to anyone will to take it." I looked over our haul. These are probably worthless. I looked over at were Rarity was to see that she was being held by a large ape like thing.
She elbowed the thing in the face causing it to drop her. She ran over to me, "I'm sorry, I'm really really sorry."
"What's that?"
Rarity was I a panic. "That is a feral diamond dog. It's a beast that has lost all control of its self."
I looked over at the 'dog'. It was standing on it's hind legs, It look to be about three feet taller than me, it had a gray dirty coat, and was very thin, with bright yellow eyes, and a foaming mouth. "He doesn't look that tuff."
"Now is not the time for jokes Megas! He will eat us alive!" As she said that the 'dog' ponced on me from thirty yards away.
He pinned my arms down and let out a hissing sound in my face. "Nice jump my man, but you need a breath mint." Rarity bucked him in the chest and he rolled on the ground before jumping back to his feet. I rose and picked up the shovel I was using. The dog made a loud earth shaking rowr. Again time seemed to slow to a stop. I scanned over his body. He looked top heavy with the majority of his weight being in his arms and head. His chest was thin only a couple inches from front to back. His claws and teeth look very sharp. Knock him down, go for the weak point, and avoid his claws. Simple. But first. "Can we talk this out?"
"He is beyond reason." Rarity interjected. "His mind is too far gone to 'talk it out'." putting emphasis on the end of her sentence to express that I was making a foul of myself.
"Well it was worth a try." As I said that the 'dog' jumped and tired to ponce us, but I was able to push Rarity out of the way at the cost of a large scratch on my arm. I got toppled over and fell on my back, the 'dog' wasted no time in slashing my chest with a quick swipe of its claws. I looked at my chest I saw blood percolating upward. "That can't... be good."
"BACK OFF HIM, YOU BRUTE!" One of the larger gems I had dug up hit him in the head, followed by several more. I looked back, Rarity was tossing her jewels at it with her magic. I struggled to my feet as he fell back from another gem.
I drew my knife and dove at him, plunging the knife into his chest. He threw me into the side of the mountain with his large paw, I hit with a horrible amount of force. The 'dog' rived on the ground before going limp. "Checkmate." I groaned.
As soon as she felt it was safe Rarity raced over to me. She stopped and looked down at me with a hoof over her mouth in shock. "Megas... you, you don't look too good." A tear formed in her eye.
"Odd, I feel great, hehe. I don't think I can stand up."
She shuffled her hooves nervously. "Twilight knows a spell that would help. I'm going to have to take you to her." Her horn glowed blue for only a second before giving a few sparks and losing its glow. "Oh, I can't."
"Why, not."
"I don't have anymore magic energy. I used it all in finding and tossing the gems." She looked at my chest, cringed, and looked me in the eyes again. "I'm going to bring her here. Don't go anywhere." She said as she dashed off toward the town.
"Hehe, Wasn't planing on it." I said aloud. I might not be moving too much at all in a moment.
As I lie bleeding on the ground I felt a whole array of pains.There were the familiar pains, the headache and rigging of a concussion. There was the stabbing pain while breathing of several broken ribs. I felt the pull on my skin from a sunburn. Their was the new pain of having a three tears in my chest. To my relief nothing important was exposed. There was the mental pain scaring my mind with every thought, with the disgust of the blood that now covered the ground paired with the knowledge of where it came from, and the anticipation of the return of Rarity and Twilight to aid me. But the worst pain that I felt at the time was the sting that I felt because I bit my cheek when I hit the wall. "I won't be able to eat anything salty for a month." I didn't even notice how thirsty I was until I spoke. Wish I would have brought some water, I reviewed over my current situation. I wish I would have brought my bag, then I would have bandages and splint, with that I might have a way to get off this mountain,my eyes widened a bit. "And get coffee!" Somehow I had managed to sit up, in a very poor posture manner, I was leaning on the rock wall sitting on my lower back with my legs splayed out in front of me. In sitting up I found only more issues, the scratch I got on my left arm was far deeper then I could have imagined, the bicep was completely severed, rendering it useless and another pour for blood to seep out of. I had to make a tourniquet out of my belt and knife to slow the blood lose from my arm, but my chest I just had to let go. The sun beat down with a cruel and relentless force. Where I was was the west side of the mountain so the sun was on me the whole time I waited. I looked at the motionless dead body of the assailant, I thought of how his death was quick with a minimal amount of suffering. I thought of how my life so far has been filled with hardship, the amount of injuries I had suffered in Equestria up until this point were just as common in my universe. After a while I just got use to being hurt all the time, But nothing that I had suffered through back their was like this, this was the first time that I was rendered helpless, relying solely on others for assistance. After a while the pain and heat prevented most any logical thought. I would commonly attempt to look at my watch to find only that my left arm didn't work, not that it would of mattered because the watch battery was still run out. "What the hell are they going to do when they get back anywho. Is Twilight going to come here and say 'yep, your messed up'. That's if they'll make it back in time." I looked down at the pool below me.
A raven landed on my knee. *squawk*
Well aren't you cool. "Oh, messenger of death, can I leave now?"
"Your far to pessimistic, my boy." A familiar voice called out.
I looked up at Jack, my old mentor. "Well, look who it is." He looked just like I last saw him, a full brown beard with strands of grey littered about, he had on his blue captain's cap with a silver jolly roger insignia on the front and a matching jacket, he was smoking his favorite pipe the one in the shape of a monkey's head. A shiver ran down my spin at how he looked.
He spoke with a Irish accent, I'm still sure he had no idea what Ireland was despite his accent. "Surprised to see me?" He asked undoubtedly knowing the answer.
"I'm surprised to see any man return from the grave." I looked him over and looked at my hand which was covered in blood. I asked plainly. "Am I dead?"
Jack chuckled loudly. "Your not that lucky."
"Nice to know."
"You should know by now guy like us don't go easily." He sat on a rock and refiled his pipe. I tried to get my lighter, only to get a few twitches from my hand. "Don't worry about, I got a match." He light his pipe and took a deep breath from it. "Most men would have went down where you were born. Me and the guys feared the idea of spending a day in that frozen hell, then we find you who had been their for a year."
He was referring to the time when he and I first met.
***eleven years ago***
It was the 400th day of living in The Rat-Hole, and to celebrate mother nature had given me a blizzard to contend with. I had woken up an hour ago and was watching the white out weather, having a conversation with my friends. There was Ed, a pillow I had drawn a smiley face on, Foxy the fire, and Crisila my stuffed toy. There was also the mice that scurried about every now and then, I oftentimes called them rations. I was about fourteen, and was very lonely. I had secured the building that I called home from the storms, but there was still a cold about the place most of the time.
"Well, gang it looks like this storm isn't going to let up." It had been going on for three days since I had gotten fresh food or wood dew to the storm. "I need to check the traps, and pull more of the walls out of 42." I put my stuff together the red torn parka and two pairs of torn blue jeans were the common items I wore but I had new things for my survival. I had gotten A pair of black army boots that fit perfectly, a old knife, and a worm wool winter cap, all of which were branded with a red star with a sickle and hammer on it. At the time that meant nothing to me, I later figured out that people get offended by that particular symbol. I got my crowbar and ratty gloves. I decided to get the wood first. I put on my goggles and left the house, I felt around the porch until I found the rope that connected the two buildings. The storm made it impossible to see and if I didn't have the rope I won't be able to keep myself up. It would have been a short walk but it took me ten minuets to go three doors down. I called it 42 because it was the last house with an address tag. As I got in the desire to make a fire was too great to resist. Once that was done I started to take what ever wood I could, and put it into my makeshift backpack. Around a hour and a half into it I saw something from the second story window. At the dock I saw a light of some sort. It was impossible to see anything but the light, as I watched three more lights appeared. These ones were smaller then the first, but they were moving toward me. I scrambled to get everything together and raced down the stairs to watch as three men dressed in orange. While it was impossible to determine the difference between the snow plastered buildings and the white out weather, there jackets made them stick out like a trio of swore thumbs. They made there way up the street toward my house, I followed by using the rope. They moved at a strong pace, that meant that they kept themselves well fed, if nothing else. I followed them to my house where they stopped, I only noticed then that the snow was melted off the walls due to the fire, that made my house stand out dramatically. They said some things that I could not hear, and went inside. I rushed around to the back door and sunk inside. Peaking around the corner I watched them study everything, my food, my bed , Foxy. But when one of them got to Crisila I jumped out , and yelled "PUT HER DOWN NOW!" I snatched her from his hand, backed up to the door, and pointed my knife at them. I had no idea who they were or what they wanted, but I assumed that they were up to no good.
One of them stepped forward, he had a frost covered beard and a blue knit hat. "Calm down lad, we don't mean you any harm." He took another step, I hit the door as I took a step back. "Is this your place? Is there anyone else here?"
I looked him over, and held Crisila closer. "This is my town, I'm the only one left." I shot him a glare. "What do you people want?"
"Oh, where are my manners, we are treasure hunters, we had come here to find the lost town, and this it." I was confused by this, this town wasn't lost it was abandoned for good reason. "You said there were others?"
"Yes, but the last one left 47 days ago, I've been by myself since then." I looked at one of the other two, who looked like he was going to fall over from chill. "Go sit by the fire if that cold." He looked around for a second before quickly finding a spot on the floor in front of the fireplace, the last followed suit.
The first one didn't move, "Why didn't you leave with them?"
"And leave all this?" I motioned around. "When I said that they left, I meant that they are in the graveyard." That pulled a silence from him. "If your going to stay, Then I'm going to need your help with the traps."
"Of-of course!" He stumbled over his words for a moment. "My name is Jack by the way."
"That's nice."
"Whats your name?"
I just shrugged.
***
"You know what?" I asked the dead man walking.
"What?"
"I lost that furry hat in the river!"
At first their was a science, but then we coughed up a chuckle that grow into a full out laugh. The pain I felt in my chest was gone, I concluded that that was a vary bad sign, but I didn't care, I didn't care about much of anything at that time.
*SQUAWK*
"I had forgotten about you were their." I looked back to the raven on my knee.
"I have to get back now."
"Back where?"
He said nothing but gave a smile and nodded his head as the bird took off toward the sky and Jack vanished into thin air.
I hear a voice in the distance. "Megas! where are you?"
Reality hit me like a ton of bricks, the pain returned in full force, the heat and thirst returned to the unbearable levels as before, and I had almost no energy left to answer the call. "I'm here hanging with my peps." I coughed.
"You had one rule, Rarity! ONE!" Twilight scolded as she and Rarity raced up the mountain following the holes that I had dug to find me.
Rarity couldn't help but look at the ground as she galloped behind Twilight. "I know, I know. I'm sorry."
"It's not me that you should be apologizing to. Didn't you learn something from when you were kidnapped here?" Twilight slammed to a stop when they reached a clearing. Rarity had tears running down her face over gilt and her friend's words, Twilight felt a little sick when she saw a few drops hit the ground. "Don't cry, Rarity. You did the right thing by getting me, but right now I need you, Megas needs you to pull yourself together and show me the way to him."
Rarity calmed only a little "Your right, your always right." She trotted off toward me. "Megas, where are you?"
My chocking cough was hardly audible to them but they still found were I was. "Over their!" the duo turned a corner and when Twilight saw me her jaw dropped.
Around this time the blood puddle had been upgraded to blood pool, then from blood pool to red floor. "Twilight, so glad that you could stop by! Look you can see my ribs, there filthy." This was also around the time that I was somewhat delirious, which could explained the visit from Jack not to long beforehand.
"This is far worse then I thought, I'm going to need the start the spell now! Rarity back up a little, I don't want you to get caught in this."
Meanwhile my brain was playing songs from obscure musicals. "It's an inky dinky doo-da mourning, mourning, mourning. Inky dinky doo-da mourning." My tune only made Twilight and Rarity nervous.
The ponies exchanged a look of worry before Rarity looked at me. "Your going to fine darling. Twilight knows exactly what her is doing." She then ran off and took refuge behind a rock but still watched.
"Vote of confidence acknowledged."
Before I knew what was going on Twilight started chanting something and her horn glowed bright enough to rival the the sun. A tendril of of light extended forward and wrapped me in an air-conditioned cocoon. A wave of coolness washed over me, I felt weightless for little while. All I could see was the bright glow of the cocoon. In a couple of seconds the cocoon disappeared and I felt all my pains go with it. I opened my eyes and saw Twilight hit the dirt like a sack of potatoes, Rarity quickly galloped over to her. She checked her head and her pules before speaking in a plain tone. "She's out cold. But I see that your doing much better."
I looked over myself, despite a torn shirt and some cuts and bruises that I had before, I was completely fine. It was like the whole fight with the diamond dog never happened, even the blood that had covered my clothes was gone. I stood up with a few pops and cracks sounding from my back. I removed my makeshift turnakit and looked over my arm, it was amazing. Before my arm was completely useless, but in a blink of an eye it was like new. "Well that was a heck of a hospital trip." I stooped down next to Rarity. "Is she okay?"
"Yes, she just exhausted. I'm pretty sure that she'll be out until tomorrow, and I think we should get out of here before any other problems arise." She grunted and her horn shot out a couple of sparks as she tries in vain to lift Twilight with her magic.
"I think that I can carry her, but before that lets gather up theses jewels."
Rarity looks at me with a confused look. "You want to take them with us? Are you sure? I was just going to leave them."
"Like I'm going to leave the fruits of a lot of labor behind, no ma'm." She nodded with a small smile.
***
Within a minute or two we had gathered up all the gems and were walking down the path toward ponyville. I had fastened the wagon to Rarity with my belt and put Twilight in the most comfortable position that I could think of on my shoulders, she didn't complain. While putting her on my shoulders I noted things, or the lack there of, that only increased my curiosity, but I kept my questions to myself. We walked in silence until we got out of the rocky area.
Rarity broke the quite. "Alright I'll say what were both thinking."
I'm going off the rails on this crazy train! "I don't think that you know what i'm thinking."
She looked at the ground intently. "Oh, but I do. Your thinking about how I almost got you killed over a bunch of shinny rocks." She looked up and caught my gaze. "I'm sorry, I really am." I tried to say something but I could only take a breath before she cut me off. "While I was galloping to get Twilight I realized that you saved my life." Her eyes watered a little, she closed them and faced the ground again. "I still would have went to the digging area even if you hadn't come along and that means that I would of got caught by the dog alone. I know some self-defense, but a feral diamond dog will fight too the end. I don't think that I could of done that if you weren't there."
I stopped walking and knelled down to meet her at eye level. "Your not even close, I was thinking of a rock song."
It took a second or two but I got a giggle out of her. "So your not mad at me?"
"Not even a little." I stood back up. "Now, let's get back. Twilight obviously likes her donuts, and she starting to droll on my arm."
A smile lights up on her face. "Alright, and thanks."
"Of course, lady." I giggle a little. "Lady, lady, lady."