I quite like this story, but I do have one minor nitpick: the said-bookisms. The word "said" is pretty much invisible, you don't have to keep finding synonyms to avoid repeating yourself.
Thanks for the input, I really appreciate it. It's something in recent years I've become more self-conscious of when writing. Being that the story was told from a first person perspective, I just didn't want to drone on with "I said", "I said", "I said", over and over and over after every line of dialogue. I can see how "declared", "stated", "inquired", "responded", etc., all used on a rotation in place of "said" could distract, though. I'll keep a rein on it in future stories.
I quite like this story, but I do have one minor nitpick: the said-bookisms. The word "said" is pretty much invisible, you don't have to keep finding synonyms to avoid repeating yourself.
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Thanks for the input, I really appreciate it. It's something in recent years I've become more self-conscious of when writing. Being that the story was told from a first person perspective, I just didn't want to drone on with "I said", "I said", "I said", over and over and over after every line of dialogue. I can see how "declared", "stated", "inquired", "responded", etc., all used on a rotation in place of "said" could distract, though. I'll keep a rein on it in future stories.