Camaraderie is Sorcery

by FireOfTheNorth

Chapter 2:15 - Cider and Sorcery

Chapter 2:15 – Cider and Sorcery

Fluttershy slept soundly in her own bed in her home beneath her tree. The long journey, first to Appleoosa, then to Dodge’s Crossing, and finally to Fillidelfiyaa and back again had worn the druidess out, which was why it was so good to finally be home again. Here there was less risk of excitement, stumbling onto plots, fleeing into the night, and being unjustly imprisoned. It was a miracle that Alhert’s soldiers hadn’t executed the Brave Companions on the spot. Fortunately, the old king was able to clear things up after he awoke, and he sent the Brave Companions off with abundant thanks.

“Fluttershy! Wake up!” suddenly jolted her awake, and she nearly screamed before recognizing the voice and silhouette in her bedroom.

“Rainbow Dash? What are you doing here?” Fluttershy asked with a yawn before stiffening, “How did you get in?”

“I picked the lock,” Rainbow Dash said offhoofedly, “Come on, get out of bed!”

“Y-you picked the lock?” the druidess asked as the blood drained from her face. Could just anypony enter her home whenever they wished. She really didn’t like the thought of that.

“Yes, now come on! Get up!” Rainbow said before pulling the covers away from Fluttershy to reveal that she had nothing on underneath them.

“Oh … I had no idea,” Rainbow said in embarrassment as Fluttershy grasped her tail to cover herself, “Get dressed so we can leave.”

“Leave where?” Fluttershy asked as she climbed out of bed only after Rainbow Dash turned her back on her, “Was another pony with Discord’s soul found?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” the Hunter waved off the suggestion as Fluttershy shrugged into her robes, “The first of the zap apple cider will be ready today!”

“That’s why you broke into my house and woke me up before dawn?” Fluttershy asked, on the very brink of anger, “Rainbow Dash, was that really necessary?”

“Of course it was, now come on!” her oldest friend replied as she grabbed and dragged her out of her home, “Every cider season, what happens?”

“In the third zap apple harvest, the Apples turn them into cider, which is immediately drinkable because no fermentation is required to render zap apple cider alcoholic,” Fluttershy replied.

“What, did I ask for an answer from Twilight?” the Hunter ribbed her.

“Sorry, she was telling me her theories about it on the way home yesterday,” Fluttershy said with a yawn.

“No, that’s not at all what I was referring to,” Rainbow got back on track, “We never get any cider, never any of the good early stuff anyway, and why is that?”

“Um …”

“Pinkamena! She always gets there before us and buys up so much that by the time we have a chance, all the good stuff is gone!” Rainbow Dash said passionately, “Well, not this time! This time we’ll be first!”

“Rainbow Dash, I really don’t care all that much about the cider,” Fluttershy said, leaving it implied that Rainbow could have gone sooner without her and nothing would be lost.

“Oh, you will once you get a taste of the really good stuff,” the Hunter said, undeterred, “I can’t wait to see the look on Pinkamena’s face when she sees us there before her.”

Fluttershy sighed, but continued to flap along behind her friend, trying to keep up as she zipped in the direction of the Apples’ land. That was the only place to buy the zap apple cider as fresh as could be, and ponies from Ponieville and the surrounding countryside would flock here to buy it soon enough. Apparently, this time they’d done so even sooner than Rainbow Dash expected. A line of ponies came into sight as they approached, waiting for the gates to open and the Apples to announce the start of cider season. Rainbow Dash couldn’t believe here eyes at the number of them here so early.

“Hey! Rainbow Dash! Fluttershy!” Pinkamena called from the front of the line as she waved up at them.

“Pinkamena? What are you doing here?” Rainbow Dash asked as she landed.

“Well, that’s a funny question, silly,” the pink pony replied, “I’m waiting for cider season to start, of course.”

“I get that, but what are you doing here so early?” the Hunter cut right to the heart of the matter.

“Oh, well, I just couldn’t sleep thinking about all the zap apple cider that would be ready today, so I headed out early,” Pinkamena said, completely unaware of the irritation building within her friend, “I may have woken a few ponies, and soon all of Ponieville was following me out here. We had a great time; you should have been here earlier!”

Rainbow Dash groaned in exasperation. All her plans foiled. It had seemed so solid, and yet Pinkamena had somehow gotten in the way anyway. Maybe if I fly over the gate to preempt the line …

The gates to the Apples’ homestead creaked open, ponies stepping back to allow them to swing outward. As Big Mac finished the work, he stopped in surprise, looking at the crowd that had already formed so early, before checking that, indeed, it was only just sunrise. Applejack too had a stunned look on her face when the line began trotting in, headed toward the stand she’d set up on an apple cart to sell the cider from.

“Welcome, e’rypony, t’ th’ first day o’ zap apple cider season,” she called out after recovering and once more ponies were in the farmyard, “Step right up, there’s plenty t’ go around.”

“Come on, Rainbow Dash, we’d better get in line,” Fluttershy told her flustered friend.

Grumbling about how she couldn’t win, the Hunter followed the druidess to the back of the line, which wove through the farmyard and out along the road to the Apples’ homestead. It truly seemed like everypony in Ponieville was already here, and more were arriving all the time. It wasn’t just local,s either. Since the Apples had the only zap apple orchard in all of Equestria, merchants from across the continent traveled here once they heard that a zap apple harvest had started to get their own share of the cider. Rainbow Dash wasn’t worried about them much; the Apple family wisely chose to limit how much any one pony could buy, but they would lessen her chances of getting cider the same as anypony else, and some of them seemed to have brought help this year.

The line moved forward at a steady pace, but to Rainbow Dash it seemed to be taking forever. More ponies arrived after her and Fluttershy, snaking along the path back to Ponieville, but that was no concern of hers. She watched with growing impatience as ponies trotted out with tankards or whole kegs in wagons and carts. For every one that left the Apples’ home immediately after buying their cider, she knew at least three more would be staying on the farmyard to talk to acquaintances and enjoy the unique beverage. Cider season was a social event as much as an opportunity to buy something found nowhere else.

The farmyard was packed by the time the two pegasi passed through the gates. Big McIntosh was just getting the last keg when they entered, which worried Rainbow Dash greatly. It seemed to take an eternity before they finally reached the stand, watching pony after pony receive their cider and step away happily. Fluttershy gestured for Rainbow Dash to go before her, the druidess too concerned with talking to the various woodland creatures she’d picked up along the way and deposited on her back.

“One zap apple cider,” Rainbow Dash said hopefully, and Applejack nodded.

Big Mac tipped the cider barrel while Apple Bloom tried to work the spigot. She would be getting the last of the cider … again, but at least she’d get something. It turned out she wouldn’t even get that. A drop or two of the slightly luminous liquor dripped out, but nothing more.

“Sorry Rainbow,” Applejack apologized before speaking up to the others in line, “That’s it for t’day, e’rypony!”

There were still quite a few ciderless ponies, and they made their displeasure heard. Blame was placed, both on the Apples and on those who’d taken more than what some saw as their fair share. Rainbow Dash glared at Pinkamena, sitting at a table with seven empty tankards in front of her.

“You always run out!” Rainbow Dash shouted, causing Fluttershy to back away, “Why can’t you make enough for all of us?”

“Zap apple cider may be quicker t’ make than usual, but it still takes time, an’ we can only make so much a day,” Applejack answered after the cries of agreement quieted down, “There’ll be more t’morrow. Come back then!”

“You’ll just run out again!” Rainbow Dash continued to complain, and she wasn’t alone.

“We’ve done our best, an’ we’ll continue t’ do our best,” Applejack said, “There’ll be more cider t’morrow, an’ no way t’ make it sooner.”

“Is that so?” an unfamiliar voice came from the back of the crowd of disgruntled ponies, a voice that seemed to cut through all the clamor and commotion even though the words weren’t particularly loud.

The crowd parted to show the stranger, a stallion lounging against the gate. It didn’t take Twilight Sparkle’s magic-sensing abilities to recognize that the yellow-coated unicorn was a sorcerer; no other pony would look the way he did. A stiff-brimmed cap sat upon his red-and-white striped mane, which was pulled back into twin tails. A black knotted kerchief was wrapped around his neck and tucked into his blue-and-white striped sorcerer robes. On his back and draped to one side was a long, thick cape embroidered with half a crest with an apple slice on it.

“‘Tis so,” Applejack called back, “Who are y’?”

“It would be rude to introduce myself before my traveling companion, my dear brother, arrives as well,” the sorcerer said as he stepped away from the gate and began trotting casually toward Applejack and the other members of her family, “Ah, there he is now.”

Everypony turned to look for the coming pony, and all gasped when they spotted him. When he arrived, it was atop a wagon with nopony pulling it. Twilight Sparkle was in the crowd, and she tried to puzzle out how they were doing it. It must be magic, but arcane locomotion has been lost for millennia. The pony on the peculiar cart hopped down as it slowed to a stop surrounded by perplexed ponies. He was nearly identical to his brother, except for his curled red mustaches and his cape, which had the other half of the crest, featuring an apple missing a slice.

“Oh brother-o-mine, did you ever see a sorrier sight?” the original sorcerer asked as the second one joined him, “So many ponies unable to taste that sweet, refreshing nectar. It almost makes you want to break down and weep, does it not?”

“Oh brother-o-mine, if only they knew that there was no reason for such despair,” the second chimed in, “If only they knew that right before them was the solution, brought to Ponieville by us this very day.”

“Excuse me, but who are y’?” Applejack repeated her earlier question.

“I was hoping you would ask that,” the first sorcerer said with a smile.

“He is Flim,” the mustachioed one said, gesturing to his brother.

“He is Flam,” the other said.

“And together we are Flim and Flam Tyrmynus,” they said as one, pulling their capes together to form a completed crest on declaring their family, “Sorcerers extraordinaire and just what you ponies need.”

“Need? ‘Ow’s that?” Apple Bloom asked suspiciously.

“Why, I am glad you asked. Allow me to illuminate you,” Flim said with a tip of his hat, “Well, a shortage of cider just will not do, so that is why we bring our solution to you. It is new and grand like naught you have ever seen. Trust us, and there will be more cider than has ever been. Your ears did not deceive, today there will be zap apple cider ready for drinking.”

“More cider than you could drink in all your days of thinking,” Flam added.

Are they … singing? Twilight knew very few sorcerers who engaged in the musical arts, other than necessity for certain kinds of spells. Of course, after Cadence’s success with it and subsequent ascension to alicornhood, there had been a temporary fad to mimic her style (Twilight herself as a young filly was not excepted from this), but it hadn’t lasted. It wasn’t singing the same way a troubadour or even a church choir would sing, but it had a certain rhythm to it, and Twilight was sure not a few of the ponies in the crowd who were captivated weren’t so only because of the sorcerers’ words. She couldn’t sense them casting any spells, though, so they weren’t attempting to bend their audience’s minds in any supernatural ways, at least.

“So, we bring great opportunity …” Flam said.

“To your thirsty community,” Flim finished, before passing it back to his brother.

“He is Flim.”

“He is Flam.”

“The awe-inspiring …”

“… and much-obliging …”

“Flim-Flam Brothers, sorcerers extraordinaire,” the two of them finished together.

“Now, I suppose by now you are wondering just what we have brought along,” Flim said as he leaned against the wagon his brother had arrived on.

“And from whence shall come this cider that we promised in our song,” Flam said as he jumped back up onto it.

“The answer to both your wonderings is one and the same,” Flim said.

“You shall see with your very eyes how we always back up a claim.” Flam added.

“From all the way across the Shimmering Sea …” Flim said with a smile and sweeping motion.

“… from our far-off home of Neighpoli …” Flam said, reaching for the edge of the canvas that covered a peculiarly shaped stack of something in the back of the wagon.

“… we present now for your consideration …”

“… an invention unseen in any pony nation.”

“The Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery!” they proclaimed together as they pulled the canvas away.

Occupying most of the cart was a set of interconnected equipment composed of brass and glass. Twilight Sparkle could identify some of it from her passing familiarity with alchemy, but the rest was a complete mystery to her. Most sorceresses saw alchemy as an inferior form of magic that required little to no magical ability to perform. Twilight’s opinions had changed, largely due to spending time with Zecor while teaching her Low Equestrian and learning some of how she made her brews and potions. For most of Equestria’s mages, however, they thought very little of it, but maybe things were different on the Eastern Continent, across the Shimmering Sea. Flim and Flam had said they’d come from Neighpoli, the merchant republic ruled from Neighples, and the closest pony nation to the Zebrikaanian Empire. Apart from Saddle Arabia, that was, but there was very little contact between that desert peninsular nation and the realms of Equestria, whereas Neighples was one of the Three Jewels, the prosperous and powerful cities that traded across the Shimmering Sea constantly. Because of this, it wasn’t uncommon along Equestria’s eastern coast to encounter Bannermares, Noya Esti, and Neighopolitans, but the Equestry Valley was a different matter. What are they doing here, so far inland?

“The what?” Rarity asked as everypony else was looking upon the alchemical equipment in awe.

“The Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery,” Flim repeated.

“Or the FFBPPZACD if you prefer,” Flam added.

“Fib-puhzakked,” Pinkamena tried to pronounce the acronym.

“The Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery can convert fresh zap apples into zap apple cider with a fraction of the effort of traditional methods,” Flam said, ignoring the bard’s repeated attempts.

“And a fraction of the time,” Flim added, which really got the crowd’s attention, “Yes, you heard correctly. With this contraption, and a little sorcery, we can create zap apple cider far more quickly than the operation here, which means more cider every day, enough for everypony to drink!”

“But y’ don’t have any zap apples t’ make it from!” Applejack protested over the crowd’s cheers.

“Precisely why we cannot succeed in this task alone,” Flim said smoothly as he trotted toward Applejack and Flam hopped down from the cart, “Miss, could I trouble you for a small amount of your zap apples for a little demonstration?”

“Um, I s’pose,” Applejack said after looking to Granny Smith for permission. The family matriarch had a skeptical look on her face, doubting these two fancy stallions could pull off what she’d taken a lifetime (or several) to perfect.

A green glow surrounded a basket of zap apples sitting across the farmyard, waiting to be turned into cider later. From what Twilight could tell, the glow was completely unnecessary as the basket of apples floated over to the Flim-Flam Brothers, but it added to the spectacle, and the crowd of magicless peasants ate it up. The basket flipped over a hopper near the front of the contraption, and several more flashes of light came from it as the cores and other undesirable bits of the zap apples were teleported back into the basket, which had righted itself and settled to the ground. When the flashing ended, the bottom of the hopper opened and dropped the remaining pristine pieces of the zap apples into a grinder. From there the bits went to a press, the juices flowing into the now steaming and whistling alchemical equipment.

“As you can all see, we have considerably cut down on the work needed to produce the famed zap apple cider,” Flam said proudly, “The first batch ought to be ready any second now.”

“Now ye ‘old it right there!” Granny Smith shouted as she toddled through the crowd to face the mustachioed stallion, “Ye cannae jus’ hasten th’ makin’ o’ cider wi’ou’ losin’ what makes it grand. Quality is more important ‘an speed, an’ that’s what makes oar cider so good!”

“Well, miss, I am glad you brought that up,” Flam said, flashing incredibly white teeth, “I think you will see that we have made no compromises if you try a flagon yourself.”

From the back of the wagon, Flim filled a flagon with the fresh apple cider beginning to pool in the final container and passed it to Granny Smith. Her eyes went wide as she took a sip and found it to be nearly identical to the cider she and her kin labored for hours to produce. She tried to hide her surprise, but Flim and Flam had already noticed it and smiled wryly.

“I think you will all see that the only way to make zap apple cider is with the Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery,” Flam said as his brother passed out the few other tankards of cider produced by the machine to thirsty ponies in the crowd, “What do you think, Ponievillians?”

He was met by enthusiastic cheers, few as enthusiastic as Rainbow Dash’s, who still managed to miss out on zap apple cider. The Apples looked at each other worriedly, until Applejack stepped forward.

“Clear out, e’rypony! There’ll be more cider t’morrow!” she called, before addressing Flim and Flam in a lower tone, “It seems we may ‘ave bus’ness t’ discuss.”

Ponies began filing out of the farmyard, headed back to Ponieville or the farms around it, but the twin sorcerers didn’t wait until everypony had left before beginning negotiations.

“So, Apples, what do you say?” Flim asked, “Would you not rather let the Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery do your work for you?”

“O’ course!” Apple Bloom said excitedly, but Applejack held her back from rushing off to the machine.

“Just a moment,” Applejack said, “What are y’ proposin’ exactly?”

“You would provide the zap apples …” Flim started.

“… and we would supply the Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery,” Flam finished.

“Then we split the cider profits three-quarters …” Flim said, making a cutting motion.

“… and one-quarter,” Flam said.

“Y’ve got a deal!” Apple Bloom said, trying to rush away again and again restrained by her elder sister.

“Hold on now. Who gets th’ larger share?” Applejack asked.

“Us, of course,” Flim scoffed, as if it were obvious.

“After all, it is our invention, and we be providing our magic and expertise to operate it,” Flam added.

“We can’t agree t’ that,” Big Mac said with a shake of his head. Sure, zap apple harvests were irregular, but when they did occur, the money they brought in helped keep the family afloat until the next harvest. Losing three-quarters of even just the cider profits could lead to disaster in the future.

“Hmph, very well,” Flim said, “But you will regret this.”

After resecuring the canvas over their machine, the two sorcerers departed the Apples’ homestead, their cart moving on its own again. Once they were gone, Twilight trotted up to Applejack.

“Is everything going to be okay?” she asked her friend.

“We’ll be fine,” Applejack said, though there did seem to be an ominous air around the pair at the end, “They don’t have any zap apples o’ their own, so ‘tis not like they can drive us out o’ bus’ness. How much damage can they do, really?”

***

The next day, the Apples had even more business than the previous. The line of ponies was abuzz with rumors about the foreign sorcerers who’d showed up the day before, those who hadn’t been here hoping to catch a sight of them. Upon returning to Golden Oak’s laboratory the previous day, Twilight Sparkle had looked up the pair in Rossin’s Registry of Mages to see what she could learn. They were indeed from Neighpoli—Rossin had seen them during his tour of the Eastern Continent—but there wasn’t much else useful about them that she could glean. She certainly couldn’t fathom what their interest would be in producing zap apple cider or bankrupting the Apples.

“Sorry, e’rypony. That’s it for t’day!” Applejack announced at about the same time she had the day before.

Grumbling and complaints passed down the line of ponies, causing an eruptive cry of anguish and frustration as it reached Rainbow Dash. Ponies poured into the farmyard to voice their displeasure, pegasi roosting on the rooftops when there was no more room on the ground. As Applejack was trying to calm them down, the crowd parted and Flim and Flam arrived atop their portable cider distillery, and some of the shouts of displeasure turned to expressions of awe.

“Is there a problem here?” Flim asked knowingly.

“Out of cider again, are we?” Flam berated the Apples.

“Not to worry, everypony, with the Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery, we have what you need,” Flim proclaimed.

“An’ ‘ow’s that?” Applejack asked, eyes narrowing, “Th’ only zap apples in Equestria belong t’ th’ Apples, so th’ only way y’ could get some t’ make cider wi’ your contraption would be if y’ stole them from us!”

“Of course, we do not have any cider at the moment,” Flam laughed nervously and Flim put away the tankard he’d been about to fill, “But, young filly, surely you can see what is right in front of your eyes. We can do what you cannot, provide all your friends and neighbors with the famed zap apple cider. Would it not be better if we took over cider production?”

There were quite a few ponies in the crowd who enthusiastically proclaimed their support for this idea, enough to make the Apples worry. Could Flim and Flam really take over cider production against the Apples’ wishes? Celestia had bequeathed them this land, but Mayor Mare would find any loophole to take whatever she could away from them, and she might just consider this a valid loophole to exploit.

“Th’ answer is still no, Flim and Flam,” Applejack said firmly.

“Yeah, besides, we can make cider just as good an’ just as fast as you!” Apple Bloom taunted.

Applejack frowned at her sister as the crowd collectively gasped. As good, sure, but to say they could make cider as quickly as the sorcerers’ machine was just not true. Ponies in the crowd were talking about the filly’s claim now, though, some demanding proof.

“Is that so?” Flam said as he stroked his mustaches, “What say we make a little wager? Say we set a time where we both shall endeavor to create as much cider as we can, you in your traditional way, and us with the Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery? If we win, you cede us your zap apple orchard.”

“An’ if we win?” Applejack asked.

“We will give you the Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery, and to sweeten the pot, let us say …” Flim said, trailing off to let his brother whisper in his ear, “Three-hundred fifty Bits.”

The amount nearly made Big Mac’s eyes pop out of his head. It would take years to earn that much coin, and he was already calculating how it could affect things. To get it, though, the Apples would need to accept a gamble they were very likely to lose. They might not get a choice to refuse, though. The crowd was enthusiastically behind the wager, Ponieville was behind the wager. If they refused, they might very well demand Mayor Mare take action, and that was the last thing the Apples needed. If they lost the wager, they lost their zap apple orchard. If they refused the wager, they might very well still lose it. The only feasible path forward was to accept and to win, but the likelihood of it succeeding was dim.

“Tomorrow morning, four hours to produce as much zap apple cider as we each can,” Flam proposed, “Why, to give you a sporting chance, my brother and I are even willing to let you include the cider you would usually make tonight in the total. Of course, we would need to have some zap apples for this to be a competition.”

“Ye kin use half th’ orchard,” Granny Smith said, surprising everypony, “It’ll be worth it tae teach ye a leasson!”

“So, we have a deal then?” Flim asked, “Whoever produces the best cider the quickest wins?”

“You have a deal,” Applejack said begrudgingly after consulting with her family.

“Then we look forward to seeing you on the battlefield,” Flam said as he and his brother hopped up onto their wagon, “Farewell Apples, until tomorrow.”

***

Spike walked through the halls of the Mayoral Keep, scrolls and books piled in his tiny arms. The guards here paid him little mind; they were used to the presence of the young dragon by now. Twilight Sparkle wanted to see the archives of Ponieville, the history of the hamlet she now called home, as well as some other records. The archives’ caretaker, a stuffy old earth pony who’d been here even before Mayor Mare had been appointed, was none too happy with a fire-breathing creature around the stacks of ancient documents, but, like everypony in Ponieville, he had to bend to the will of the resident sorceress. Professor Golden Oak had often had similar requests of his own, but he at least had come himself and not been a fire hazard … mostly.

As the dragon page walked past a room whose door was ajar, he suddenly stopped. For a moment, he thought he’d seen Flim and Flam, and when he crept back to peek through the doorway, he found that he hadn’t been mistaken. Normally, that wouldn’t be considered strange, since Mayor Mare tended to host visiting mages in her keep now that Golden Oak’s laboratory was occupied, but the brothers weren’t staying here. They had found a room in one of Filthy Rich’s inns and hired guards to protect their invention there. So, what were they doing here?

“… and you’re sure you’ll win?” Mayor Mare asked as Spike began eavesdropping.

“I predict a ninety-five percent chance of success,” Flam said confidently.

“And, what does that mean?” Mayor Mare asked.

“It means that, given the expected and the unexpected, nineteen times out of twenty we will succeed,” Flim explained.

“And what about that one time? Why can’t you guarantee success?”

“Your Excellency, the Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery is untested for long periods of time,” Flam explained patiently, “It is conceivable that something could go wrong or that efficiency could decrease over time, but both scenarios are unlikely to affect our chances of success.”

“I must say, I do not understand why this is so important to you,” Flim said, “Zap apples are an incredible and versatile fruit, but it hardly seems likely they will return what you have already invested for many years. An urgent summons for us, designs to increase the efficiency of production, both came at great expense to yourself. What can you hope to gain?”

“It will be more than worth it,” Mayor Mare assured them, “I have come so close so many times to snatching the Apples’ lands. Then these miraculous zap apple harvests foil everything! Without their zap apples, there will be no more surprises, no more evading my plans. The Apples will fall short of their obligations—how can they not, with only three ponies working the land—and I will declare them unable to tend their land. It will by mine, given to new tenants who respect my rule and answer directly to me. It’s time for that special deed from Celestia to expire.”

“I see, Your Excellency,” Flam said, though he sounded somewhat skeptical of the wisdom of Mayor Mare’s obsession with the Apples, “My brother and I will endeavor to do our best to acquire the zap apple orchard. I trust that that will fulfill our contract?”

“Of course,” Mayor Mare replied.

The ponies in the room were rising to go, but Spike had already fled. Flim and Flam working with Mayor Mare! I need to find Twilight.

***

With the third day of zap apple cider season came an even larger crowd of ponies. News had spread quickly about this contest between a family of simple farmers and twin sorcerers from beyond the sea. There were no cider sales this morning; that would have to wait until after the contest concluded, if the Apples were victorious. The kegs were where everypony could see them, only slightly more than on the previous two days. The Apples had wanted to get a head start, but they also knew they needed rest for the competition. They were preparing now, making sure all their cider-making equipment was ready to face off against Flim and Flam’s sorcery and alchemy.

“Applejack, I have news for you,” Twilight Sparkle said as she approached her friend, “Flim and Flam are working with Mayor Mare. This whole confrontation was engineered by her to strip you first of the zap apple orchard, and then of the rest of your land.”

“O’ course, I should’ve expected so,” Applejack snorted.

“Do you want to call this off?” Twilight Sparkle asked. As Celestia’s personal protégé, she probably had the power to make it so.

“No, we can’t back down now, in front o’ e’rypony,” Applejack said, “We ‘ave t’ go through wi’ this.”

“Best of luck to you,” Twilight said worriedly before returning to the crowd of ponies who’d turned out to watch the competition.

Most of what the Apples usually used to make zap apple cider was within a shed inside the palisade that surrounded their farmstead. To help speed up the process, and to give the ponies of Ponieville a good show, it had been moved out and deposited near the zap apple orchard. The palisade around the orchard had also been torn down to give an unobstructed view. One of Mayor Mare’s many, mostly unnecessary officials was stringing a rope through the orchard to divide it equally into western and eastern halves. Across the line, Flim and Flam sat easily in front of their cider distillery on wheels, waiting patiently for the competition to start. A pile of barrels sat between them, provided by Magnus, Rarity’s father and the town cooper, for the occasion.

“Attention, ponies of Ponieville!” Mayor Mare called out after one of her retainers blew a trumpet blast to quiet the crowd, “As your mayor, I will be the judge of this competition between the Apple family and the Brothers Tyrmynus. Both have four hours, from now until the sun’s zenith, to produce zap apple cider. Whoever can make the best cider the quickest will win!”

“If the Apples win, then Flim and Flam will cede their Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery, but if the brothers win, then the Apples will cede their zap apple orchard, and the Flim-Flam Brothers will produce plenty of cider for everypony!” Mayor Mare continued, pausing for cheers after her last statement, “Is everypony ready to begin?”

“Whenever the Apples are ready, we are prepared to win,” Flim called back.

“We’re ready!” Applejack answered with glares for both the mayor and the twin sorcerers.

“Then begin!” Mayor Mare yelled, “Make that cider!”

Both parties got to work immediately, ignoring the cheers of the crowd, most of whom were just happy to have some late-winter entertainment instead of work. Zap apples floated away from the trees in the western half of the orchard, a magical glow around them, and were fed into the Flim-Flam Brothers’ contraption.

Across the line, the Apples had to rely on non-magical means to harvest their fruit. Applejack jumped and bucked, causing the magical multicolored fruit to fall into waiting baskets. At first, Big McIntosh helped her while Apple Bloom carried the baskets to Granny Smith. The eldest and youngest members of the Apple family worked together to winnow out zap apples unfit for cider-making and cut out the bad bits before chopping them into tiny pieces and preparing them to be pressed. Apple Bloom called Big Mac over once they were ready for pressing, and the stallion worked the press, squeezing out all the juice from the zap apples. From there, the juice went to a vat with other ingredients where it matured for the small amount of times zap apple cider required before being drained into a keg. All through the process, the Apples shifted around wherever they were needed to keep things moving and moving quickly. With the pressure on, they filled their first keg in record time.

“One done already,” Applejack said with a grateful release of breath as she pushed the keg to the side, “Good job, e’rypony.”

“I bet Flim an’ Flam don’t e’en have a single keg yet,” Apple Bloom said proudly, but gasped when she looked across the line at the brothers.

Three kegs of zap apple cider were already lined up next to their machine and a fourth slid next to it. Flim and Flam sat easily in chairs somepony had brought them, letting their magic do all the work, and Flam cheekily waved as he noticed the Apples watching them.

“Come on, e’rypony, we can’t give up now!” Applejack yelled, “Back t’ work; we can still do this! We’re th’ Apple family!”

Everypony rushed back to work, doing their best but still unable to compete with the sorcerers. It was a losing battle, and they knew it, but they couldn’t give up, couldn’t give in. Maybe a miracle would happen; that seemed the only likely way they could win. The hours slipped by, and the Flim-Flam Brothers continued to outdo the Apples, cranking out four kegs of zap apple cider for every one the Apples were able to produce. By the halfway point of the competition, the twenty-six-barrel lead the Apples had started with was reduced to eight. At this rate, the twins would overtake them within the next hour.

The Brave Companions (apart from Applejack) watched together as the Apples were outdone. All wished they could help their friend, but what could they do? Twilight Sparkle knew that something had to be done, or at least attempted, so she whispered her plan to Pinkamena. The sometimes-bard, sometimes-baker bounded through the crowd and under the halberds of Mayor Mare’s mayoral guards to startle the official.

“Say, your mayorness, would it be okay if the Apples’ friends lent them a hoof?” Pinkamena asked loudly enough that everypony around the mayor could hear, including those outside of her inner circle, before lowering her voice, “It would look bad if you let these outlanders crush them so thoroughly and not very entertainingly.”

“Well, I …” Mayor Mare stammered before listening to advice whispered in her ear, “Flim? Flam? Would you accept friends of the Apple family helping them out?”

“Let them!” Flam called back, “We are confident in our superior ability no matter how many ponies try to help the Apples.”

“I suppose that would be acceptable, then,” Mayor Mare told Pinkamena before seeing the rest of the Brave Companions step out of the crowd and immediately regretting her decision.

“Okay, everypony, I have a plan,” Twilight Sparkle announced once the Brave Companions and the Apples were gathered around, “We need to at least triple output to beat the Flim-Flam Brothers. It will be hard work, but we can do this. Fluttershy, you help harvest the zap apples.”

“Oh my,” the druidess said, “I don’t have to … kick the trees, do I?”

“Just get them down however you can,” the sorceress replied before turning to the next of her friends, “Pinkamena, you stay with Fluttershy. Help with transporting the apples to Granny Smith and bringing them down if you can.”

“You can count on me!” Pinkamena proclaimed, knocking herself in the forehead with her hoof.

“Rarity, your discerning eye will be helpful in winnowing out the bad apples and preparing them for pressing,” Twilight said.

“Naturally,” Rarity said, with a small amount of pride.

“Rainbow Dash, you help with the press,” Twilight ordered.

“On it!” the Hunter said enthusiastically.

“I will help wherever I can and lend my sorcery where it is needed,” Twilight said and got a look from Granny Smith, “Not to change how you make the zap apple cider, I assure you, only to assist. The biggest bottleneck I can see is getting the apples to the press when it is ready, so we do not waste any time, so I will look for ways to eliminate the problem. Let us do this, everypony!”

Shouts of excitement reached Twilight as she concluded her speech, and everypony left for their jobs, except for Applejack.

“Thank y’, Twilight,” the farmer said with tears in her eyes.

“What are friends for?” Twilight asked, a question she’d had no idea how answer before leaving Cant’r Laht, “You may want to wait to thank me until after we win, though.”

The competition continued, the Apples and Brave Companions working to make up the time they’d lost in planning. With the extra horsepower and Twilight’s organizational skills improving the process, production increased. Gradually at first, but by Twilight’s calculations it would be enough to stay ahead, if just barely. She wasn’t the only one making calculations either. With an hour to go, Flam was scribbling furiously on a writing desk.

“Well, brother-o-mine?” Flim asked nervously, carefully watching the Apples and their growing collection of zap apple cider barrels.

“If things continue as they are now, I predict a sixty-five percent chance of success,” the mustachioed stallion said direly.

“Sixty-five?” Flim said incredulously, “That is an unacceptable risk! We have to increase production ourselves somehow!”

“But how?” Flam asked, “We designed the Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery to be as efficient as possible!”

“What are the odds that the inedible bits of the zap apples would be destroyed in the conversion to cider and not adversely affect the final product?” Flim pondered as he rubbed his chin.

“Eighty-five percent,” Flam said after doing some more calculations.

“We have a solution, then,” Flim said slyly.

The bottom of the hopper into which the zap apples were dumped fell permanently open, letting what was pulled from the trees fall directly into the grinder. Flashes of magic ceased coming from the hopper as Flim and Flam no longer cored and weaned the apples before they entered. The glow also disappeared around the zap apples as they devoted the entirety of their magical strength to picking as many apples as quickly as possible. Faster and faster their machine pumped out zap apple cider as faster and faster they pulled zap apples from the trees, their magic now and then pulling branches and leaves along, too.

Ponies watched in anticipation as both groups flew at their work with reckless abandon and time edged ever closer to noon. The barrels provided for the competition grew fewer and fewer until it looked like they’d run out before the time limit. A pony from the mayor’s household carefully watched a stake driven into the ground as time ran out.

“Stop!” he called out as the shadow of the stake pointed due north, “Time’s up!”

The Apples and the Brave Companions wearily collapsed to the ground, having just finished their last barrel of cider. The Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punctual Zap Apple Cider Distillery hissed and groaned to a halt, steam rising from parts of it that had had magic pumped through them.

“Final count,” Mayor Mare announced after her representatives finished counting the kegs of zap apple cider and brought the numbers to her, “The Apple family, both yesterday and this morning, produced in total forty-eight barrels of cider. The Flim-Flam Brothers, in a single morning, produced sixty-four barrels of cider. Flim and Flam win!”

“W-we lost?” Apple Bloom asked plaintively.

“Thank you, Your Excellency,” Flim addressed the mayor, “It was the only outcome that could have been anticipated.”

“Now, who wants some fresh zap apple cider?” Flam asked, beckoning to the field of kegs.

The crowd, which had so enthusiastically embraced the idea of taking over zap apple cider production, was now subdued. After seeing how much work the Apples had put in, and how some of the most famous ponies in Equestria had rushed to their aid, they were beginning to have second thoughts. Wealthy magical foreigners in charge of not only all zap apple cider production, but also zap apple jam and zap apples for baking and consumption, taking it away from the few free local farmers, just didn’t sit right.

“Congratulations Flim an’ Flam; th’ orchard is yours,” Applejack admitted before addressing the crowd, “Y’ had better get your cider.”

“No need to rush, no shortage here!” Flim called out as ponies began to trot over to where the brothers had paid somepony to set up a stand for them during the competition.

A line formed to purchase the cider that they’d craved, though not from who they’d bought it from for centuries. Coin was exchanged for cider, Flim and Flam passing out tankards. As the first pony took a draw of the cider, she immediately spit it out into the snow.

“What is this swill?” she demanded angrily, “This is not zap apple cider!”

“Are these leaves and … bark!” another customer complained as he examined his drink.

“Brother-o-mine, why did you not bring out the good, sure stuff from the beginning of the competition first?” Flim whispered tensely to Flam.

“Because this barrel was closer,” Flam whispered back.

“Not to worry, Ponievillians, we will make this right,” Flim assured them, “Allow me to fetch another barrel.”

“This stuff is awful!” another pony complained after taking a sip, “Why would we pay for more of it?”

“Mayor Mare?” Twilight Sparkle said, an idea coming into her head like lightning, “Did you not say that the winner would be the ponies who made the best cider the quickest?”

“I-I suppose so,” the mayor said nervously as her citizens watched her.

Applejack saw what Twilight was doing and quickly rolled over a barrel of the cider they’d produced. Apple Bloom filled a tankard and brought it over to the mayor, who reluctantly drank. Rainbow Dash zipped over to Flim and Flam’s stand and purloined a tankard of their cider, bringing it back and also presenting it to the mayor, so she could compare. Everypony waited for her to drink some of Flim and Flam’s cider, but she just stared dubiously at the seeds and stems swirling in the drink that was barely luminous.

“I have a correction to make,” Mayor Mare said painfully, “Because of the poor quality of Flim and Flam’s cider, I must declare the Apples the winners in this competition.”

Some cheers went up from the crowd, but not its entirety. Many ponies were still confused as to exactly what side they ought to be on.

“You charlatans thought you could mislead us with your fancy talk and magic!” one pony accused the brothers, which was enough for the crowd to begin pressing in on them, “It was all a trick to steal the zap apples from these good, hard-working ponies!”

“Brother-o-mine, it seems we have a bit of a problem here,” Flim said as they were backed against their invention.

“I can see that, brother-o-mine,” Flam replied with a tight smile.

“I say we make our escape posthaste,” Flim said.

“I could not agree more,” Flam said.

“Your reward is in the Flim-Flam Brothers’ Portable Punct-” Flim called out to the Apples, the extraordinarily long name of their invention getting cut off as the brothers teleported away to escape the sudden rush of angry ponies.

Comments

[Xanderfox]

Well here the Apples got the machine! If Big Mac still hooks up with Sugar Belle they will even have family to run the thing!

[Anonymous Critic]

merchants from across the continent traveled here once they heard that a zap apple harvest had started to get their own share of the cider.

...Merchants across the continent, eh? Then why did Applejack have such bad luck at the Gala? Wouldn't she, or at least, her farm, be well known to all of them, considering this? Or did no opportunistic businesspony see the advantages of personally working with the sole provider of such a rare, and valuable product?

[Snowdrifter]

A pile of barrels sat between them, provided by Magnus, Rarity’s father and the town cooper, for the occasion. A pile of barrels sat between them, provided by Magnus, Rarity’s father and the town cooper, for the occasion.

This event was made possible by the Ponieville Branch, Ministry of Redundancy Ministry.