My Little Problem

by Sedentary Vagabond

Produce and Cold Packs

"So when can I start helping you?" Derpy asked while excitedly rocking on her hooves.

"I don't know, soon I guess. I'll tell you when you can." Don said while placing the pegasus back on the desk.

"Okay, Mister...uh..." Derpy struggled.

"Oh, right. I know your name but you don't know mine. I'm Donovan, Donovan Lacson, the most lackluster student here this side of the galaxy." He said giving a slight bow.

"Don...O...Ven..." Derpy said, trying to pronounce his name right. She repeated it a couple of times with different phonetic pronunciations before Don intervened.

"Okay, don't hurt yourself trying to say my name. Just... call me Don." He said.

"Okay, Mister Don!" She said.

Don smiled, "Just Don, there's no need to be formal. It's not like I call you Miss Derpy or something do I?"

Derpy let out a sheepish smile, "Okay Mist- uh, I mean, Don."

"So now that that's out of the way, the next question is what do you eat? I know you're something like a horse so I'm guessing hay is a big part of your diet, but since I don't exactly have access to that...well, not unless I go out into the country and pillage a farm..." He said while getting up and into a pondering pose.

He quickly shook his head and came back to the conversation at hand.

"Please tell me you eat things other than hay." He said.

"Of course I do!" she said, "I eat fruits, vegetables, cupcakes, cake, but my most favorite thing to eat," she said while staring off into space, "are muffins..." she finished losing herself into a daydream.

Don was relieved that he didn't have to pull a heist on a farm. The very notion of assembling a crack team of people to commandeer hay was absurd. Although he'd bet that somehow Lewis would totally go along with it as well as assemble the people necessary for it. He quickly dismissed his thoughts and was brought back to another problem; getting this small pegasus out of her daydream stupor.

He brought himself to her eye level.

"Uh, hello?" he said while poking Derpy.

She snapped back into reality, "Huh? What happened?" she asked looking around.

Don shook his head, "I don't know, you said 'Muffins' then went-" he was cut short.

"Muffins..." Derpy said dreamily and went right back into her daydream.

"...why me...?"

When Derpy came to she found herself standing on a table. She looked around and noticed a huge room with some furniture to her right and connected to that room was the one she was currently in which she deduced as the kitchen beings that there was a stove and a refrigerator in front of her.

"Wow, you've got a really big kitchen Don." she said.

She then took flight and landed on the counter top and started walking, taking in the whole look of the room.

"This is really-WHOAH!" she screamed as she fell.

Don turned around, "Derpy, what are you doing?" he asked.

The pegasus hovered into view, "Heh, I... might have fallen into the sink." she said while giving a sheepish smile and rubbing the back of her head.

"Well, please be careful, the next thing you know you'll be crashing into-"

There was a loud clatter of pans falling to the floor.

"...Dishes..." Don finished while face-palming.

With a sigh, he went over and began picking up the fallen pans.

"Oops," Derpy said, "Let me help!"

She quickly flew over and began to grab one of the pans with her hooves.

"I don't think that's necessary-"

A loud clang was heard.

"OW WHAT THE HELL?!" Don yelled as a pan hit his head.

Derpy put on a guilty grin, "Sorry, the pan was heavier than I thought."

She was about to say something else when an idea came to her. She had a huge smile on her face when she realized it.

"Does this mean I get to help you now?!"

Before Don knew what was going on, Derpy tore into the freezer and pulled out a single ice cube, flew back to Don and shoved it in his face.

"THAT'S COLD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" He yelled before falling over.

"Hold still! This is supposed to make the swelling go down!" Derpy said.

"I got hit in the back of my head, not my face!"

"I told you to hold still didn't I?!"

The Two sat in silence at the kitchen table as they both snacked on fruit. The ambiance was broken when Derpy decided to speak up.

"Wow, these are the biggest grapes I've ever seen!" she said as she gripped a single grape with both of her hooves.

Don sighed, "If someone would've told me I'd be having Fruit Snack Time with a pegasus last week, I would've thought they were on drugs or crazy. Maybe both."

He looked at Derpy who had a content smile or her face as she bit into the grape.

"I still don't know if you're real or not, even though you just shoved an ice cube in my face-" he stopped for a moment,

"Wait, how DID you know where the ice cubes were?" He asked.

Derpy looked up at Don with grape juice smeared all over her face. She thought for a minute before shrugging and going back to digging into her snack.

"Thanks for the in-depth explanation," Don said, "How's the fruit?"

Derpy set the grape down, "It's good, but it's not as good as the fruit where I'm from."

Don raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? Why's that?"

"I don't know, I guess it just doesn't taste as sweet. Like it hasn't been left to fully mature or something." she said.

"Well, I don't think it gets any better than that I'm afraid, so you're gonna have to make do with that. At least until I can get some other vegetables or something like baby carrots." Don said.

He was about to say something else when he noticed that she was starting to make a mess of herself.

"Here," he said while tearing a napkin, "Wipe your face, for being such a tiny thing, you sure do make a mess."

"So when do I get a muffin?" she asked

"What? Who said you were getting one, and when did I agree to that?" Don asked.

"You did, that one time when you were rambling about stuff." she said, "You were talking and then you went, 'Now I have to get this pegasus a muffin because she's the best!'"

Don stared at her with a deadpan look while in turn she just gave the biggest smile.

"Yeah, I don't think I ever said that." He said.

"Yes you did. You did and you promised forever." She quickly interjected.

There was another pause.

"You're not gonna take 'no' for an answer are you...?" He asked.

"Not when it comes to muffins!" she said while beaming.

"Fine, I'll get you your damn muffin..." he said under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I said, fine, I'll get you one, just not now." He reiterated. "Little extortionist..."

"Yay! Muffin!" Derpy yelled.

She began flying in circles chanting "I'm getting a muffin" in a sing-song voice.

"Okay okay, don't get too excited. Although I don't need to go the store any time soon." He said.

"Oh..." she replied looking a little down trodden.

"Oh don't worry, it's not like it's gonna take forever for me to go somewhere. I'm pretty sure we're bound to need something soon." He said quickly.

Before Derpy could reply the door opened.

"Hey Donny, I'm home early from work!"

Don quickly stood and panicked.

"Mom?! What are you doing home so early?!"

Comments

[Goober]

Dang, mom's gonna find something suspicious