I did not see that coming.
(Rimshot)

The story kind of has a weird world-building pacing, with Mac's stray thoughts providing constant exposition occasionally interrupted by actual events. It's honestly hard not to skim most paragraphs when the information isn't obviously relevant to the immediate story.
Talking about the Mane Six becoming alicorn Princesses is cool and all, but when used as background filler to a mundane shopping trip, it kind of makes me think that there's a much more interesting story going on somewhere else in this narrative.
That end was quite impressive, though.
I love me some Apple Pie.

7267994 My tendency towards overstuffing worldbuilding is a problem I'm working on through all of it. You would not believe how much I've cut out of Hunting Season Chapter 1 for the rewrite; the reason that part 2 of the rewrite is delayed is to put a little bit back in from Twilight's POV. I apologize; I guess I haven't quite hit the right balance yet.

I was trying for a sense of melancholia about the changing world around him, how it has sort of left him feeling a bit rootless when he leaves SAA even though he can "feel" the roots of the earth. How much hatchet would you say needed to be taken?

(Also, thank you re: the ending. ^^;; I hope that chapter 2 was less interrupty)

bruh i thought it was flutterbat

7268516 *laughs* I was trying to be a little obscure. ^^

7268090
I don't know how much could/should be cut because I have no idea if any of the information is going to be relevant to the rest of the story. I mean, you've got an adventure tag up there, so for all I know it's going to be all mighty Element of Harmony Princess adventures from here on out, which would make much of the backstory relevant.
The only thing I could easily recommend is trying to fit the backstory into the story more organically. Mac's encounter with Flim & Flam and all the info portrayed there was pretty good, for example, because the information felt like it mattered, and I'm not even sure it did. When the information comes from dialogue or a character's immediate, direct observation, it feels relevant. When it's disguised as Mac's mind wandering while he walks from place to place, it feels like filler.

7268727 Fair enough. Some bits are relevant to later scenes; a lot of it is just his melancholia at change (and being cranky about having a hard time with this anniversary gift). I suspect that unlike Hunting Season which yay I am almost done rewriting @.@ I won't change this until I've completed the fic; the rewrite in HS has ground my work to a halt elsewhere-- I only got 2K words written today, for example, and only part of one of my edit commits. I hope you continue to enjoy the rest and I'll try to either find a dialogue moment for future worldbuilding or leave it out!

Thank you very much for the advice; I really appreciate it and hopefully will execute it well. :)

Also, despite being a total Steel Legion IG-fanatic (my only real dalliance outside is Salamanders, which honestly don't count) I have found your Iron Warriors fics to be laugh out loud hilarious.