- Member Since 31st Mar, 2016
- offline last seen Nov 19th, 2023
Troublesome Beast
I don't know, man. Those weasels were on fire when I got here.
Troublesome Beast
Joined 31st Mar, 2016 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- TheMasterClop · 29k words · 238 27 · 12k views
- ElementBrigade · 39k words · 150 10 · 3.4k views
- zoruatrainer66 · 38k words · 353 67 · 11k views
- Brony-wan-kenobi · 50k words · 149 19 · 4k views
- SonicBlitz18 · 60k words · 265 31 · 13k views
- Some Leech · 6.4k words · 267 24 · 13k views
- Pinkamena666 · 77k words · 207 27 · 2.9k views
- Norwegian boy · 14k words · 34 3 · 554 views
Featured In10
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,812 members
NSFW3,903 stories ·1,373 members
Anthropomorphics7,626 stories ·5,017 members
My Little Fetish16,594 stories ·8,566 members
- warning: cum inflation, belly bulging, huge insertion, gangbanging, etc. ahead3,885 stories ·3,601 members
Growth Fetishes (Macro, Inflation, Hyper, ect)1,778 stories ·1,659 members
- Herd / Matriarchy Underpinning150 stories ·540 members
Big Macintosh Fanfics1,077 stories ·394 members
Stats
Page generated in 0.124 seconds
Total duration
1,043 users online
1,877,279 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
So, what can exactly be expected out of this story?
Also, I think you have a problem with your coverart.
7263065 I was fighting with the coverart; I couldn't really find a good piece that had Mac smiling and being anthro and not in various stages of unacceptable that I liked; this was about as close as I could get. Cropped out someone who isn't his wife in this fic and a daughter they therefore don't have.
As for expected-- Two major story threads. Mac's wife is a little foreign (though she is a canon character) to pony society, and she has some problems fitting in. When someone threatens her family, she gets a bit angry and acts on it. As for Mac, he loves his wife dearly, and after some things go wrong for her, he goes on an escalating series of quests to help her out. Towards the end of both threads, a 9'4" Luna gets involved.
There's a lot of sex. My outline includes the following:
Hot, sweaty, rough sex.
Hot, sweaty, lesbian sex.
Hot, sweaty, semi-feral sex. Semi-feral in this case being a state of mind; they stay anthro.
Hot, sweaty, anal sex.
Hot, sweaty, gentle sex.
Hot, sweaty, make-up sex.
Hot, sweaty, group sex.
Admittedly, the "hot" part is probably more of a statement of ambition and intent than a prediction, but I will be trying.
Other than that, I mean, how detailed do you want? In the next chapter, Mac gets ambushed from behind, rough sex is had, and finally meets up with his wife after a long day. I don't plan on giving too much away, but I can give kinks or general geography or something?
I enjoy. A great concept of Mac. A great concept of the fallout of your universe, and a great concept of changing social norms. Fantastic, and I needed a minute to catch my breath after one early joke about time. Damn you man. Damn you.
7264050 *grins* Only explanation: I'm crazy. And also, thank you very much!
I did not see that coming.
(Rimshot)
The story kind of has a weird world-building pacing, with Mac's stray thoughts providing constant exposition occasionally interrupted by actual events. It's honestly hard not to skim most paragraphs when the information isn't obviously relevant to the immediate story.
Talking about the Mane Six becoming alicorn Princesses is cool and all, but when used as background filler to a mundane shopping trip, it kind of makes me think that there's a much more interesting story going on somewhere else in this narrative.
That end was quite impressive, though.
I love me some Apple Pie.
7267994 My tendency towards overstuffing worldbuilding is a problem I'm working on through all of it. You would not believe how much I've cut out of Hunting Season Chapter 1 for the rewrite; the reason that part 2 of the rewrite is delayed is to put a little bit back in from Twilight's POV. I apologize; I guess I haven't quite hit the right balance yet.
I was trying for a sense of melancholia about the changing world around him, how it has sort of left him feeling a bit rootless when he leaves SAA even though he can "feel" the roots of the earth. How much hatchet would you say needed to be taken?
(Also, thank you re: the ending. ^^;; I hope that chapter 2 was less interrupty)
bruh i thought it was flutterbat
7268516 *laughs* I was trying to be a little obscure. ^^
7268090
I don't know how much could/should be cut because I have no idea if any of the information is going to be relevant to the rest of the story. I mean, you've got an adventure tag up there, so for all I know it's going to be all mighty Element of Harmony Princess adventures from here on out, which would make much of the backstory relevant.
The only thing I could easily recommend is trying to fit the backstory into the story more organically. Mac's encounter with Flim & Flam and all the info portrayed there was pretty good, for example, because the information felt like it mattered, and I'm not even sure it did. When the information comes from dialogue or a character's immediate, direct observation, it feels relevant. When it's disguised as Mac's mind wandering while he walks from place to place, it feels like filler.
7268727 Fair enough. Some bits are relevant to later scenes; a lot of it is just his melancholia at change (and being cranky about having a hard time with this anniversary gift). I suspect that unlike Hunting Season which yay I am almost done rewriting @.@ I won't change this until I've completed the fic; the rewrite in HS has ground my work to a halt elsewhere-- I only got 2K words written today, for example, and only part of one of my edit commits. I hope you continue to enjoy the rest and I'll try to either find a dialogue moment for future worldbuilding or leave it out!
Thank you very much for the advice; I really appreciate it and hopefully will execute it well. :)
Also, despite being a total Steel Legion IG-fanatic (my only real dalliance outside is Salamanders, which honestly don't count) I have found your Iron Warriors fics to be laugh out loud hilarious.
...Wow! that anniversary gift from Mac. I-I just...lost the ability, to even
...
...!
...Gah!!!
Also, once again, your fic outdoes the 'trickle in 'trickle down fics'!
7279500 ^_^ Thanks! I figured it would fit the character, basing it around the two things that give her the most joy that aren't Mac.
That still probably makes him just about royalty, by her standards.
This chaper flowed much better than the others (no pun intended). The sex was a little... intense, for my taste, and the described body proportions rather ludicrous, but it was impressive how such a clop-heavy chapter still felt so meaningful to the actual story, rather than BEING the whole story.
7285732 I know, right? Even Pinkie was shocked, and she's... well, she's Pinkie. I really appreciate your kind words on the subject of writing plot vs clop there; I'm writing for both, and they're intertwined. I mean, I'm not expecting to throw out Kushiel's Cutie Mark or anything, but I'd like to think the nature of lovemaking as a fundamental sapient act of communication and personal interplay can be a part of character development.
I'm hoping I won't backslide too much on irrelevant detail in the next chapter, where a griffon mage/freelance inquisitor comes calling, so I'll be keeping your advice in mind.
As for proportions... Heh. I am a kinky, strange, strange beast.