Epilouge
Prince of Eqestria
Epilouge
Twilight tucked the stallion in. He would sleep in the basement of the library, on top of a bed intended for guests. It was going to be a test, she realized. A test, for how long she could live with the stallion that had killed innocent ponies.
No, she thought. He's different. I know he is. When I told him who he is...he felt...calm. Trusting. Maybe Ponyville will be good for him. Yes, It's going to be hard, expaining to Spike why a stallion's sleeping in the basement. But they'll get along fine.
She could hear his breath as he slept. Barely audible, like a cool morning breeze. Twilight still couldn't believe everything that had happened. War. Death. Hate. These were things found in the Griffon Land, and legends.
But, Twilight thought. He is a legend. So was Nightmare Moon, annd Discord. To think Shadowblaze was behind it all...
She shook her head. It's in the past. I need to focus on the future. His future...
Twilight walked away from his bed. She had barely started climbing the stairs, when the stallion's voice made her pause.
"Goodnight...Twilight," he mumbled in his sleep.
Twilight continued her ascent, stopping at the top of the stairs. "Goodnight......Blackjack," she whispered, closing the door behind her.
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Okay, so I reeeeeeeeally liked the plot of this story! I kept wanting to read more.
The only thing is, I think some of the characters could have been better. Just because they are nicer now because they are not under evil influence, does not mean they all have the same super nice, confessing all at once, apologizing quickly, personality. The personalities of the nice villains were kind of painful to read for me... I really liked this story, but those parts...
1184999 fear not. I am working on book two, and will be correcting many errors. Just think for a second though, how would you act after being freed from complete control
1212957 Some would apologize... Some I guess would be confused. But I mean after the apologizing part. They all seemed to have the same personality. Maybe try to vary a bit? They can all still be nice, but I mean like you and me probably have different personalities and we're not evil, so that might work a bit. IDK. Sorry if I offended you...
1218316 No no, I welcome criticism and advice. Thank you for your help, I'll work on that when I have time.