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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well I liked it. Just one thing: There is such a thing as too much affection. They don't need to kiss or voice their love every other sentence. It feels repetitive very fast. Other than that I very much like how and where this is going.
7263882
Thank you for the feedback. Yes my proofreader also said the same thing. This is the first time I have written a love scene and went a bit overboard with the kisses and lovey dovey talk. Chapter three will have the Date between Twilight and Luna in it most Likely will not have another clop scene for a few chapters to allow the budding romance to blossom a bit more there will be instances of Vampirism (Blood Drinking) As I will announce at the top of each chapter if it should contain clop gore violence or foul language. I hope you will continue to read. Chapter 3 is in the works. Have a pleasant day.
heehehehhe most say great story, I am a fan of twilight not being something supernatureal and that of twilgith-luna ship stories so this one be on favor list
7270432
Thank you story is currently being edited hopefully I'll get the edited chapters up soon.
7270441 remind me of a story I read a while ago, in which twilight was a vampire who was as a filly save by luna and twilight end up joining the night guard and become luna personal student. it had 3 chapter then got cancel
7270495
Actually that story did not get canceled it's undergoing a rewrite I should Know I'm one of the proofreaders for that story Child of the Night: Twilight of the Nightguard by Neokiva. neokiva decided to do a rewrite of it keeping most of it intact from what I understand. Do not know when it will be back up though.
7270990 yea
7263917 when can we expect chapter 3 to be finished
7375625
I am hoping to get chapter three done by the end of the week if not by Tuesday chapter 2 is still in the process of being Edited. With everything that I have been doing and dealing with I have been side tracked Chapter 3 is being reworked as well because some of what i was going to have happen in chapter 2 got moved into chapter 3 so I am working it in so it makes sense and not so much of an info dump or non essential information and doesn't feel like its just a filler chapter.
7375643 thx then that means I don't have to wait long yay
7270495
yeah i remember that story as well, it was so good!!!
the first chapter and a half of this was good, but then you started to get what i call 'repeititon happy' you had the charicters repeating the same points over and over and over again, and whats more acting in ways that felt robotic almost, not quite right for how they should be...it got boreing as a result.
Heat means that mare is ready to carry a foal and being barren means that you cannot bring a foal
But any ways i enjoy it thank you for writing it
11060429
Still writing it as for what happened Celestia still goes into heat its her womb that is the issue not the hormones of her body the injury she got so long ago is the cause her uterus lining isn't working as it should even though she was impregnated gestation is not triggered so the egg gets flushed with the lining with Menstruation.