Desert flipped through the book until she found a fable she knew.
"Here's one!", she said as she began to read.
One bright morning as the Fox was following his sharp nose through the wood in search of a bite to eat, he saw a Crow on the limb of a tree overhead. This was by no means the first Crow the Fox had ever seen. What caught his attention this time and made him stop for a second look, was that the lucky Crow held a bit of cheese in her beak.
"No need to search any farther," thought sly Master Fox. "Here is a dainty bite for my breakfast."
Up he trotted to the foot of the tree in which the Crow was sitting, and looking up admiringly, he cried, "Good-morning, beautiful creature!"
The Crow, her head cocked on one side, watched the Fox suspiciously. But she kept her beak tightly closed on the cheese and did not return his greeting.
"What a charming creature she is!" said the Fox. "How her feathers shine! What a beautiful form and what splendid wings! Such a wonderful Bird should have a very lovely voice, since everything else about her is so perfect. Could she sing just one song, I know I should hail her Queen of Birds."
Listening to these flattering words, the Crow forgot all her suspicion, and also her breakfast. She wanted very much to be called Queen of Birds. So she opened her beak wide to utter her loudest caw, and down fell the cheese straight into the Fox's open mouth.
"Thank you," said Master Fox sweetly, as he walked off. "Though it is cracked, you have a voice sure enough. But where are your wits?"
The Moral:The flatterer lives at the expense of those who will listen to him.
This is an interesting story idea, to say the least Though, I think that it might be more fun having the characters reaching to and interacting with each other while the fables are being told. The story’d be more connected then. Also, Melody and her gang seem like an interesting bunch of OCs, so that would also be the right moment to show the readers more of them Also, are you retelling all these fables yourself or just ponyfying them?
And, my editor self can’t help on a bit of grammar nitpick; those commas that you are writing beside the direct speech shouldn’t be there. Also, it’s good to discern between speaking and non-speaking dialogue tags. When there is a speaking action present in the dialogue tag (said, replied, asked, commented etc.), the tag starts with lowercase letter (except for proper nouns and I). However, direct speech in such case cannot end with a period. A comma has to be in its place. (Question and exclamation marks, as well as ellipses, are alright there as well.) On the other hand, when the tag contains a non-speaking action (nodded, blushed, sighed etc.), the tag has to start with an uppercase letter and the direct speech cannot end with a comma. Period or other punctuation mark has to be there.
A lil’ bit of a lecture, sorry for that
8661323
I shall take that suggestion into account greatly (don't tell anyone this but I had already had a general ideal of something like that actually happening soon). Also, any grammatical errors are the sole blame of my editor who, despite my nagging at him to do so, constantly forgets to backtrack this particular story for grammer errors or misspellings.
8661353
Alright, it’s great to know that I will keep tracking. And don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone!
Well, if he doesn’t edit, he is not much of an editor then, is he? Though, if I may ask, by backtracking, do you mean that you first publish it and he is then supposed to edit?
Also, it is possible that he doesn’t know about getting the direct speech wrong, so maybe you can brief him on it. Or if you wish, I can have a talk with him about it. With over thirty edited stories and countless chapters under my belt, I believe I can talk about experience
8661364
Believe me, I've consulted him on that manner. Rest assured this story, amongst a few others, will be going under serious grammatical re-checks. The only stories that he doesn't edit or proofread of mine on here are actually my stories Lambs and Wolves and Love (and other things) in Prance. That's only because I edit those myself due to content accuracy and translation issues on each story.
8661371
Alright, I’m happy to hear that! Many authors are kind of oblivious to the quality of their stories’ grammar and spelling, I’m glad you are not one of them.
If you ever need something, feel free to contact me via PM or comment.
Have a nice day and good luck in your writing!
-Ever
8661384
I shall keep that in mind. Til next comment! à plus!