• Published 31st Aug 2011
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The Dark Side - Lord Xaos



"Cupcakes" Rebuttal. Dark versions of Pinkie and Dash try to tear the Real ones' friendship apart.

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Chapter 14: Tea with Cthulhu

Author’s note: I hate this chapter. I hate this chapter. Ihatehatehatehatehatehate this chapter.

Oh, and btw, I’m not dead.

Oh, you’ll probably find it hilarious/terrifying….or possibly terrilarious…but I had so many hang-ups and rewrites with this thing, I thought I would die of old age before I finished it. I don’t even know what happened. I just…couldn’t get it to flow right. I couldn’t agree on how I wanted to do things. I am SO glad it’s over.

Well, your waiting is over.

I am proud to present:


The Dark Side

A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfic

Chapter 14

Pinkie Pie had been having fun. She’d been worrying if she ever would have it again. But…chasing down the pony who turned Rainbow Dash against her and possibly murdered her once before in her own death machine was fun. A lot of fun.


Ten Minutes ago….

“RAMMING SPEED!” Pinkie Pie cried as she brought the Cycle-Copter down in the direction of the other pink pony. She cackled madly as she pedaled with all four of her hooves, hastening the descent to breakneck speeds.

Dark Pink’s ears flattened. She had to admit she never expected Pinkie to try and actually kill her…not at this stage, anyway. Instinctively, she ducked.

This was a good move.

Not the right one, but good.

Pinkie CRASHED into the roof, the Candy-Cane scraping and sparking along. The Cycle-Copter brushed by Dark Pink, a few sparks causing her to yelp in pain and lose her footing on the roof tiles! And then she rolled off the roof and fell to the ground, where Pinkie quickly rounded on her.


Good times. Good times.

Then she chased her all around town. Buzzing her in the direction she wanted to go. She even got her enemy to squeak and even whinny in terror.

But then…Pinkie got cocky.

Pinkie began matching the speed of her prey and flying low behind her. Pinkie’s machine started to kick up a mighty dust cloud…everything was getting dirty. (The Fun Police Chief, Rarity, would’ve been totally appalled; it was the best thing EVER!) She slowly got closer…closer….

And then Dark Pinkie suddenly turned around and leapt! She wrapped her forelegs around the Candy-Cane’s curled end, and then wrapped her hind legs around the rest of the Candy cane that made up the front of the flying machine!

“I’ve got you now!” Dark Pink sneered at Pinkie.

EEK! Impulsively, Pinkie slammed on the brakes!

This was not a well-thought-out decision.

But wasn’t the wrong one.

The Propeller immediately stopped turning, and the machine dropped like a rock, falling all of 40 inches to the ground! …And leaving Dark Pinkie pinned under the machine!

It took a while for Pinkie to realize what had just happened; she sat there dumbfounded in the pilot’s seat. Dark Pink clawed and pounded on the machine with her hooves for a while…the pipe pinning her rode right through the middle of her body, forcing her head to face off towards the left. Slowly, it dawned on Pinkie.

And she smiled.

“Gotcha.”

“GGGRRRRRRR! GRRR! RAAAR!” Dark Pink continued to flail like a caged animal. “GET OFF OF ME!” She barked.

Pinkie crossed her fore hooves. “I said: Got. Cha.” She said with a deadpan annoyed expression. Then she giggled. And the giggles broke out into maniacal laughter.

“WAHAHAHAHA! I WON! I won I won I won I won!” Pinkie cheered! “Take that, evil clone!” Pinkie pointed a hoof right at Dark Pinkie and continued laughing.

Dark Pink grit her teeth in a scowl.

And then, she turned it into a grin.

Pinkie’s laughter became steadily unsure as the grin persisted.

“eheh…eheh….u-um….why are you smiling?” Pinkie’s ears flattened. “Oh, Celestia, What is it now?”

“Now….You take a nap.” Dark Pink smiled evilly.

Pinkie gasped and searched her body. She seemed perfectly unscathed…what and when in the world could she have-?

“Hehehehehe…I’m just kidding! You win.” Dark Pinkie’s grin shrank into what was merely a smile.

“Y-yeah.” Pinkie giggled nervously. “I DO win.”

“Now what?”

“Huh?” Pinkie’s eyes grew wide. “What do you mean, ‘now what?’”

“I mean, ‘what happens now?’ silly!”

“I…Giggle at the Ghostie?” Pinkie hadn’t thought this far ahead.

“Oh no. Not yet. You have to finish the job.” Dark Pinkie smiled with her most pleasant expression. “You could probably unscrew the bolt that connects the gun to the Candy Chopper, even without tools, and use it like a club! You’re not the strongest of ponies, so the blunt force you produce per strike is probably going to be really weak. It’ll be a long, torturous slog filled with horrible, soul-crushing screams to take me down, but at least all the meat will be tenderized!”

Pinkie stared involuntarily. She saw said bolt…and her body started to shudder. “N-no!”

“Or maybe you could just put more of your weight down on this pipe and crush me that way…”

“I’m not trying to kill you, you stupid pony!” Pinkie Pie screamed. “And I’m certainly not going to eat you! Just tell me where Sweetie Belle is! She better still be okay!”

“Come on, you’ve only really tried the fetlock! And you’re right…it’s not the best part of the pony. There are so many better cuts of meat! You have so much to discover!”

Pinkie had trouble finding her voice. “No! I-I d-don’t-!”

“The cheek doesn’t hold much meat, and you ruin the face by eating it, but it is a very nice, boneless section of meat…and depending on the pony, there might be a good deal of fat stored there.”

“STOPPIT!” Pinkie covered her ears, trying to drown out the sound of the other Pinkie talking.

She could still hear “I actually have a certain book that gives a good list of what all the cuts are called. It’s illegal, naturally, written by some carnivorous species, I forgot which one, but its such a helpful reference! Of course, for Cupcakes the best strip of meat is without a doubt-“

“SHUT UP! SHUT! UP! JUST SHUT UP!” Pinkie pleaded.

“There’s only one way to shut me up! Take the first step! Come on!”

“There’s no reason I would do that! I don’t want to kill you, I need to show Dashie you’re real! I need to save Sweetie Belle and bring you to justice! And If I killed you, there’d be no way to prove I’m me! So I have to-”

And then Pinkie realized something.

“Hehehe…You finally got it.” Dark Pink smirked.

“It…doesn’t really matter if you’re alive or dead. There’s no way to tell us apart either way. You could even kill me and try to pin everything on me.”

Dark Pink cackled. “See? You’d be better off to just kill me now.”

“But…no! Shut up! I just need time to think.”

“You know, if you’re afraid of being blamed anyway, I could tell you all the nifty ways you can avoid getting caught…How to make nopony question Mr. and Mrs. Cakes’ mysterious disappearance for instance. Just in case you want a blanket of your own.”

“Shut up!”

“And don’t say you aren’t going to try some afterwards. I KNOW you’re curious, and it would be a shame to let ...”

Pinkie felt cold…a strange, black mist began surrounding her...

“me…”

The mist wrapped around Pinkie…

“go…”

and it formed the shape of a dress…

“to…”

Suddenly, it materialized into something familiar! Pinkie, horrified, was wearing the same six-winged dress made from Cutie marks her foe was wearing when she killed her! As she shook, she heard unicorn horns clank together, and Pinkie noticed she was also wearing the necklace!

“waste!”

Pinkie looked at herself…she felt defiled just having the dress touch her fur. Being wrapped in it…wearing it!

Trembling, Pinkie looked down at her captive.

“It suits you perfectly. It’s too bad we don’t have a mirror. Sniff… You’re all grown up now….” Dark Pink said with something dangerously close to sincere maternal pride.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!” Pinkie tried to tear the dress off, but it just became smoke again and reformed back to its resting place! She flailed and kicked, trying to get the dress-fog off and away from her!

“I’m not like her! GET IT OFF! GETITOFF! WHY WON’T IT COME OFF!?”

She fell out of her seat, rolled around on the ground, kicking furiously…it was vile…horrible…attention-consuming…

No really, she never noticed the form sneaking up behind her…nor the small prick on her neck. She just kept screaming and hollering until she fell asleep.

“And that’s why you can’t get ahead in life if you just drop what you’re doing.” Dark Pink smiled. “Gotta buckle down and finish the job, Pinkie…”

Unbeknownst to Dark Pink, a strange entity was following her, watching…

A Wraith. Its eyes glowing with terrible wrath. A Wrathful Wraith.


Pinkie Pie felt something warm and moist rubbing against her. Steam filled her nostrils and she was rubbed all over her face. “Mmm…Missus Cake, please, I can wash my face on my own, stop treating me like a baby…I thought you stopped doing that…” The rag continued to rub against her, and Pinkie tried to bat the cloth away…

Only to find that she couldn’t move her forelegs to try.

With a sudden twinge of terrible insight, Pinkie opened her eyes, gasping out loud! She knew where she was! She looked around the room, and there it all was!

The horrible pastel-colored wallpaper! The traumatizing dolls made from cloth and plush! The terrifying cheerful décor! The bright windows maliciously letting sunlight into the room! The vile WOODEN table! The nauseating tea set made from….from…PORCELAIN! Hey, wait…..

….Okay, scratch that, this was wasn’t what she was expecting at all.

“Hmmph! Really now! And after all I was just trying to do was clean the blood YOU made me bleed unto your face!” Pinkie saw, with no small amount of horror, her doppelganger lean into view, showing Pinkie her bandaged hoof! She was smiling mischievously, despite the injuries and grumpy tone of voice.

Immediately Pinkie tried to move, but all she managed to do was fall forwards and hit her head against the table. “Ow!” she squeaked.

Dark Pink giggled. “Oh Pinkie, you need to be careful. You can’t stand up when you’ve been tied to a chair, silly!”

Indeed, that was what had happened. Pinkie’s body was laid out in a most unnatural position for an equine. Well, an equine who wasn’t Lyra, anyway. Pinkie’s body was slouched, with her upper body tied to the back of the chair, and the hooves of her forelegs tied tightly to the arms of the chair. Her hindlegs were tied to the front legs of the chair. Her belly was exposed and protruding outwards. Finally, a segment of her back, that would otherwise be unsupported, was propped up by some kind of pillow.

Pinkie continued to struggle, trying to get out. “Nope! Still tied so you can’t escape! You never learn, do you?” Dark Pink mocked. “But that’s one of the most endearing things about you, Pinkie! Heeheeheehee!”

As Dark Pink righted Pinkie and brought her back up, Pinkie Pie tried to piece together what was happening.

………..

………..

………nope, this whole “tea party” thing came completely out of nowhere.

“Um…Pinkie?” asked Pinkie. “What’s going on?”

“Oh! Well, you really are fun-“ Dark Pink was suddenly interrupted by a loud GASP!

“SWEETIE BELLE! What have you done with her!? She better be okay!”

“Sweetie Belle? Oh, she’s fine, for the moment.” Dark Pink smiled evilly “But if you don’t mind! I was talking here!”

“She’s not hurt?” Pinkie felt relieved, but confused. What was she saving Sweetie Belle for? Was she just not interested in talking about Sweetie Belle and lying to get around the subject? Still…if Sweetie Belle is okay, then maybe while other me is here, she isn’t keeping an eye on her. Maybe I can stall for time so Dashie can find Sweetie Belle, or even for Sweetie to try to escape herself! Maybe since she’s a little unicorn, Meanie Pie didn’t saw off her horn yet…and maybe that’ll matter.

“No. But, I have to say, I’m touched. You came right back to see little ole me…so soon? Just because Sweetie Belle was in danger?”

“Y-yes! Of course I did! Let her go, please! She’s just a little kid! You can do what you want with me, but let Sweetie Belle go!”

Dark Pink laughed with icy mirth. “Aw…maybe you should be called ‘Sweetie.’ Rarity’s sister is actually a little hellion. I tell her to just sit still and she screams like I’m poking needles in her.”

“Were you?” Pinkie asked. Then she realized something “Ah! No! On second thought, wait! I don’t think I want to know the answer to that.”

“Humph. Anyway, The name doesn’t suit her at all. And…I needed a nickname for you, but ‘Tasty Pie’ sounded mean. Don’t you think, Sweetie Pie? Hey! That also has a double meaning, so you can also be ‘Tasty Pie!’”

“Sounded mean? When has that ever stopped you, MEANIE PIE!? …..Ugh, that name still doesn’t sound right, you’re too pure evil.”

“Meanie Pie?” Dark Pink giggled. “That’s so cute! I love it! From now on, you can call me ‘Big Sister Meanie pie!”

“Go get eaten by a hydra.” Pinkie said in her grumpiest voice.

“Aw…you say the nicest things, Sweetie Pie!” Dark Pink petted Pinkie on her head. “Now, as I was saying, you are really fun, and I was thinking maybe we got off on the wrong hoof, so I decided to get to know you better!”

“GOT OFF ON THE WRONG HOOF!?” Pinkie roared. “You haunted my dreams, made me think for one terrible moment that I killed Dashie, drugged me, cut off my cutie marks, KILLED ME, and after my unexplainable ‘not-dead-ness’, you got me being chased by a crazy Dashie all over town before you tried to mow me down with your flying death machine!”

“I know!” Dark Pinkie squealed. “Wasn’t it fun!?” She clapped her hooves together…and immediately cringed as one of them was still injured. “ow…”

“Hey wait…stand up again for a minute.” Pinkie just noticed that her doppelganger had been wearing a pink party dress. She didn’t notice it before because it blended in so well with her coat. Well, that, and Pinkie was slightly overloaded dealing with all the other sudden stimuli. But, the dress had a white apron, and on that apron was something….blue and yellow.

“Oh…you noticed my new dress? Take a look!” Dark Pink grinned wide and giggled. She sat up and proudly presented her apron. On the center were six little balloons. Six very familiar looking balloons.

Pinkie shuddered. Without even thinking about it, she strained to look at her cutie marks. Her neck wasn’t as restrained as the rest of her body, but it was still tethered to the chair. She couldn’t make see them from the angle she was sitting, but she could tell her flanks were not bare muscle either….

“Do you like it? Isn’t it just key-ute? Oh, I makes me fill all bubbly inside! Well, bubblier!”

Pinkie had gotten over the dress made from her surprisingly quickly. Her mind was racing with thoughts. “Hey, since we’re already doing this, is it alright if I ask you some questions? Such as: am I…invincible now? And…how’d you know I was coming? Don’t pretend you didn’t know because you were both ready to go with your Candy Copter and you didn’t even act like I was a ghost or anything.”

“Hmm?” Dark Pink purred quizzically.

“I’m still able to be hurt, since Crazy Dashie cut off my tail and beat me up, thinking I’m you….”

“Hmmmm!”

“So I can’t be a ghost or anything…”

“Mh-hmmmmmmm!”

“STOP DOING THAT! ANSWER THE QUESTIONS, NOW!” Pinkie glared at her hostess, her eyes becoming pinpricks!

“Psstt..AHAHAHAHA! Your frustrated face! It cracks me up!” Dark Pink broke down laughing.

“Look! If you won’t tell me, why don’t we skip to the next bit!” Pinkie growled.

“Oh, come on, don’t be like that! I’ll tell you, I promise!”

“Like how, when I met you the first time, you promised the cupcakes weren’t made from ponies?” Pinkie glared.

“Oh I never promised that!”

“Yes. You did. You did a Pinkie Pie promise! And guess what? You’ve lost my trust. F-

“FOREVVVEEEEERRRRR!” Dark Pink interrupted. Then she giggled at Pinkie’s surprised expression. “Oh you silly filly, I didn’t break my promise! I promised that there were no ORGANS in those cupcakes. I use them for balloons! So, you don’t have to worry about me breaking your heart….in fact, I have it right here!”

And then, Dark Pink retrieved a grotesque, inflated heart painted in a pink pastel, and connected to a yellow string. While Pinkie was throwing up in her mouth a little, Dark Pink tied the balloon around one of the arms of Pinkie’s chair and smiled in an almost motherly manner. “There you go. Don’t let it get away from you now!” She giggled at Pinkie’s annoyed expression, but abruptly stopped, giving a little frown.

I feel like I should be getting worried about her change in mood…but I think my brain got broken somewhere along the way. Pinkie thought to herself.

“Actually, now that you’re all settled, I think I’ll talk to you about Dashie for a while. You say she’s cut off your tail? Hmm…I thought she was looking a little grumpy, but she wouldn’t have done that unless she somehow suspects me.”

“She says she saw you and Sweetie Belle in a dream...” Pinkie spoke up, before she really thought about it.

“Hmm? A dream? Really? She cut your tail off and hurt you over a dream?” Dark Pink stared at her. “That seems kind of sudden.”

"N-no! She knows about you. I’m sure of it. I-I know about you from a dream.” Now that Pinkie thought about it, the Rainbow she’d been fighting had appeared a very, very sleep-deprived. “Maybe it was more than one dream? Since I saw you in a dream, this opens up all kinds of possibilities! Maybe a little bird told her?”

“Sweetie Pie….you didn’t immediately attack or run or anything. You were nervous, but you weren’t sure. You didn’t know for sure if I was a threat, and, like the sweet, trusting, naïve filly you are, you completely failed to cut off my tail and chase me around town.

Buuuut…if she just knows about me from a dream, she probably doesn’t have any decisive evidence. So she can’t go around making wild claims like

After a certain mistake she made recently of accusing the wrong pony for one of my victim’s disappearances, she was humiliated in front of all of Ponyville. So, she’s probably only going all Pony hunter on you and raiding Sugarcube Corner like she did earlier today because she has no credible with any pony.”

Pinkie almost hesitated to ask her next question. “Who was the pony Dashie accused the first time?”

“Oh, Apple Bloom.” Dark Pink said as she took a sip from her cup of tea.

If Pinkie had only taken a sip of tea-which is to say if she had been ABLE too-she would’ve done the Mother of All Spit Takes.

Choking on her Salvia instead, Pinkie Pie blustered incredulously. “APPLE BLOOM? APPLEJACK’S LITTLE SISTER? SWEETIE BELLE’S FRIEND? WHY? HOW DID DASH THINK SHE COULD PIN THE BLAME ON HER OF ALL PONIES?”

Dark Pink smiled and said “I know. It’s crazy right? No wonder she’s trying to take me down without help. One word about ‘dreams’ and forget the rest of Ponyville, Applejack herself will haul her off to the crazy house.”

“…Wait…Applejack and Rainbow didn’t…break up their friendship, did they!?” Pinkie gasped.

“And Scootaloo hasn’t been talking about Rainbow Dash much nowadays either. Now that she’s knows who really is behind it, Dashie might be holding a grudge against you. Well *giggle*, me. Oh, and if I’m correct, she’s apparently sleep deprived and won’t listen to reason. I mean, you HAVE tried reasoning with her, haven’t you?”

“…..” Pinkie glared at her doppelganger.

“Ah…seems like that’s not going well.”

“She thinks I’m you. I mean, that there’s a nice, non-killer Pinkie out there, and she’s sharing the same body as the evil one.”

“Really? What a fascinating, obviously false idea.” Dark Pink said with an air of irony.

“S-stop that! We’re obviously not the same pony, you keep tying me up!”

“I guess so. Anyway, It sounds to me that Rainbow Dash is trying to kill you.” Dark Pink saw Pinkie about to say something. “And don’t say its not true! I didn’t give you those bruises you had on the side of your head when I brought you in!”

I…she did slam me into the wall pretty hard…

“She said that she didn’t like my ‘sack of rine’ personality anymore and that everypony would be better off with me dead.”

“Mm hmm…”

“BUT THAT’S NOT HOW SHE REALLY FEELS, IT’S JUST THE STRESS!” Pinkie screamed back!

“My, Pinkie, you should have ‘relationship abuse’ tattooed on your head.”

“O-or at least that’s just how she feels about you! I know that MY Dashie at least would never-”

“Oh! Oh! Your Dashie! That reminds me! I nearly forgot about her. I visited her last night, if you remember. Somepony has likely found her and untied her by now, so she’ll probably have the whole town looking for you, so if you ever escape, you probably still can’t go back home.”

Pinkie Pie stared at her clone for a moment.

“What?”

“You can’t go home ever again, Pinkie. My bad.” Dark Pink said, not sounding apologetic at all.

“What?”

“Well, you can escape from this world where only me and my Dashie can see you, but you can’t actually go home.”

“WHAT!?” Pinkie shrieked. “Dashie would never do that to me! I’ll explain! I know this whole event sounds crazy, but…unlike you two, we’re actually friends! We trust each other! We-”

“Honk!” Dark Pink poked Pinkie’s nose, causing the very confused mare to just stare at her blankly. “Heeheehee! I’m sorry, Sweetie, I just have an irresistible urge to do that every time you let your guard down. The surprised look on your face is PRICELESS!”

I’m starting to remember why I found you officially annoying. Do you know I never found any pony annoying before I met you?

“Anyway…maybe you’re right. You would know better than I would. Although, ” I suppose you’ll find out….if my Rainbow Dash doesn’t kill you first.” Dark Pink smirked at Pinkie.

Pinkie shuddered, but then frowned. “Wait. I keep coming back, don’t I?”

“Ah yes…actually, I think it works like this: You can’t be killed by me, because your me. However, if my Dashie or some other pony gets you, you’re dead for good.”

“…I guess I’ll just have to be careful. Wait, do you actually know that’s the case or are you just trying to scare me?” Pinkie Pie glowered.

“I guess there’s only one way for you to find out.” Dark Pink answered in a sing-song voice. “It’s not like you’ll have any options. You’ll have to fight back to survive. Heck, you’re probably just one bad day away from snapping. I mean, you’re all inexplicably moody and junk.”

“INEXPLICABLE!?” Pinkie yelled once more, her chair bouncing off the air and hovering a little bit as she screamed. “INEXPLICABLY MOODY? I ALREADY TOLD YOU, I’VE BEEN SUFFERING PUNISHMENT FOR YOUR CRIMES!” And then, as an after thought, Pinkie added “….AND I HAVEN’T HAD ANY SUGAR ALL DAY! AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!”

Dark Pink gaped at Pinkie. And then looked guilty. “Oh no. Pinkie. I’m so, so, sorry.”

Pinkie was confused by this sudden change in tone, but pressed the attack. “Y-you should be!”

“I mean…how could I have been so heartless? So stupid! It IS a tea party after all…”

The strangeness of this sudden turn the conversation had taken was sinking in, and all Pinkie could manage to say to this was: “……..lolwut.”

Dark Pink ran off somewhere and returned way too quickly with a plate of cupcakes. “Here you go! I forgot to bring your sweets!”

The Cupcakes were Pink. The Icing was Pink. The Sprinkles were Yellow and Blue.

They were Pink-on-Pink cupcakes with Yellow-and-Blue sprinkles.

“……” Pinkie tried to say something, but no words came out.

“Aww…do you want me to feed you?” Dark Pink offered helpfully. Before Pinkie could answer, Dark Pink picked up a piece of cupcake (Pinkie hadn’t realized before now that they had been minced into little pieces) and stuffed it in her mouth!

Pinkie squealed and squirmed, although Dark Pink was holding her mouth shut, not letting her spit up the vile confection. She was also covering Pinkie’s nose with her bandaged hoof, cutting off her oxygen!

In desperation, Pinkie thrashed her head back and forth until suddenly…there was a “crash!” as Pinkie broke free and her chair fell backwards!

…followed most unfortunately by a “gulp!”

The Silence that filled the room afterwards could be cut with a knife.

One mare’s surprise gave way to an expression of pure glee. The other one an expression of utter horror.

I just…ate myself.

“How was it? Did you like it? You probably can’t tell immediately that it has meat in it, but you can tell something is different, can’t you? It was good, wasn’t it? Do you want more? Maybe some tea to wash it down?” Dark Pink prattled on.

I just...ATE myself.

“Oh, don’t look so horrified! It’s not like you’re different from most the other ponies around here. They don’t even know what they’re eating, and they enjoy it pretty well. Although, your meat is sweeter than the average ponies…you should’ve just stopped being a baby and eaten that one I made of Twist I gave you. The young ones really are the tastiest…”

“I JUST ATE MYSELF! AHHHHH!!!!!!” Pinkie screamed.

Her entire body felt vile, but she couldn’t make herself throw up. Somewhere, inside her stomach was a bit of first body…that meant…that meant….okay, Pinkie had NO idea what that meant. She thrashed all the harder, although all she did was cause the chair to roll over on its side.

“GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!”

Whoa…déjà vu. Dark Pink thought to herself, smirking. Sadly, I’ve learned from Dashie’s little escapade. I’m sorry, Sweetie Pie, you swallowed yourself, and you’re keeping her…um, it…you…hmm, this language needs more pronouns. Seriously, nopony thought scavenging your own former body after miraculous regeneration might never come up?

Dark Pink patted Pinkie’s slouching tummy and started rubbing it. “Aw…you finally ate one! I’m so proud of you!” she smiled with glee.

“Wha-what are you doing?” the shock of being touched was enough to break Pinkie out of the trance she was in.

“Hmm? Oh, I’m just helping you digest your meal faster.”

Pinkie started to break into an outright panic. “STOP THAT! Please…stop that and do something!”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Dark Pink said in a cheerful tone, rolling her eyes. “There’s nothing I can do to get it out…” she turned her gaze to look Pinkie in the eye. “Is there?”

Pinkie gulped. She knew what the other Pinkie was alluding to…the part where she cut out her victim’s organs and even cut open their stomach while painkillers allowed them to stay awake and watch it happen.

She couldn’t help it…the thought of digesting her own previous life’s flesh was almost as disgusting as it was confusing. Is it really me me or…gah! MY BRAIN! IT HURTS! IT’S ALL TIED UP IN LITTLE KNOTS JUST FROM THAT!

“F-fine! Do it!”

“Do it? You mean…go on to the next part?” Dark Pink’s eyes gleamed with demonic light.

“Yes! The next part! The next part! And hurry to the last part of the next part! Just get it out of me!”

“Well, if you say so.” Meanie Pie smiled smugly.

Pinkie shut her eyes…not wanting to look.

She felt something cold pressing against her…and then she heard some kind of ripping sound.

But, she didn’t feel anything other then the cold thing moving around her hip in a circle. It was eerie…but she didn’t want to look. Has she already stuck me with the painkiller? But wait…I still would’ve noticed her on some level…

Hey, what’s she doing now? It feels like she’s…

With a start, Pinkie opened her eyes again. “ARE YOU RUBBING MY TUMMY AGAIN? WHAT ABOUT THE NEXT PART?”

“Oh, your cutie marks are right here!” Dark Pink was holding two scraps of skin with Yellow and Blue Ballons on them. As she said this, she continued to rest the knees of her fore legs on Pinkie’s stomach, rubbing it gently.

“What? Why..how did I not feel that?” Pinkie said, dumbfounded…but snapped out of it to flail her hooves at Dark Pink (as best she could). “I told you to stop that! I wanted you to do the dissection and get it out NOW!”

Dark Pink blinked for a moment, staring at Pinkie as if to say “what dissection?” then, she rolled her eyes and said “Oooooh….right…..”

“If you understand, then stop doing that!”

“Heehee…you’re funny Sweetie Pie. Out of all the ponies I met, you’re the only one who wants me to harvest you. Do you know how many ponies would’ve begged that I just give them a tummy rub instead? You’re acting like its some kind of horrible torture!”

“You’d be amazed what circumstances can do for restructuring your priorities.” Pinkie said matter-of-factly. “NOW GET THIS CRAP OUTTA ME!”

“Aw…but now that I think about it, a Pinkie-filled Pinkie sounds delicious!” Meanie Pie hugged Sweetie Pie’s stomach and placed her head down on her belly, which she nuzzled. “And then when I eat you, I’ll be a Pinkie-filled, Pinkie-filled Pinkie!”

“Please! I can’t stand it anymore!” Pinkie pleaded. “You’re a monster who does this all the time, you don’t understand! You don’t know how sick this makes me that I just…ate another pony! E-even if I just ate myself. And don’t you say any quips about it! I-I don’t really know how bad that is because it’s me. But…its disgusting and wrong and…and…you’re trying to train me to like them so you can turn me into you!”

“Aw. It’s not so bad once your stomach gets used to it, Sweetie. And then, you can’t get enough of it! Or at least…my cupcakes seem to certainly continue to sell very well around town!

Also…it would be a lot of fun to have two of me around! GASP! We could be twins! Oh we could play the most wonderful games with two of us! We could certainly take down Dashie with two of us…. But I guess there is a reason that I don’t want you to kill Dashie per say.” Dark Pink mused.

This statement caught Pinkie off guard. “…Why not?”

“Because, silly! If you kill Dashie, you’ll be allowed to escape and return to your Ponyville, and I won’t be able to play with you anymore.”

Pinkie sat in stunned silence. Blood dripped from her strangely numb flanks unto the chair and drizzled down her leg as she stared at Meanie Pie.

Then she snapped out of it. “YOU’RE LYING! This is just another trick! I’ll never do that!”

““Oh silly, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not. Dashie has gone nutso. I might have to get Dashie myself, just to protect me as well as you. I might even use a method that kills her instantly so I can’t play with her, just to be sure.” Meanie Pie said matter-of-factly. “Oh but don’t worry! If you get stuck here, with nopony but me can see you, I’ll take care of you! I’ll be really nice and give you all the cupcakes you can eat!”

The murderous baker gave another icy giggle.

Pinkie shuddered. The idea of being trapped with Meanie Pie for all eternity was terrifying. She had a single treacherous thought that maybe she should try to beat Meanie Pie to Dash herself. She could at least do it in the gentlest most painless….no. what am I thinking? WHAT AM I THINKING?

“…lying.” Pinkie Pie said softly. “…Everything, and I mean Everything, you say are lies. Including being nice to me.”

“Why, whatever gave you that idea?” Dark Pink said innocently. And started rubbing Pinkie’s tummy lovingly again.

“You say that as if I’m not bleeding from my where you cut off my cutie marks.” Pinkie said, no particular emotion in her voice.

“…Okay. Starting tomorrow!” Meanie Pie promised.

Uh huh…hey, wait a second, something’s wrong he- “….AHhhh! AND STOP RUBBING ME!” Pinkie shrieked!

“Oh, Sweetie Pie…don’t you know it’s definitely gone by now? It was just a little sliver of cupcake!”

“Digestion can’t possibly work that fas-burp!” the pressure in Pinkie’s stomach was expelled before she even knew it was there and she burped. Pinkie suddenly felt even more nauseous. That couldn’t be a good sign.

“Good girl, Sweetie!” Dark Pink cuddled up against Pinkie. “Anyway, I’ll TRY to be nicer to you after that since you’ll never see your friends again. Now then, just leave that mean ole Dashie to me!”

“NO! LEAVE HER ALONE!”

“You can’t reason with her-“

“BECAUSE OF YOU!” Pinkie released such a titanic scream that it threw her voice out.

“Hmm….Yeah, probably. But you know what? Do you, do you, do you? Huh, huh, huh?”

Pinkie was too busy panting to answer.

“You don’t even know if any of this is real. If…you’re real.”

“don’t give me that.” Pinkie rasped. “you just tried to tell me that if I hurt-”

Kill….” Meanie sang.

“HURT Dashie I can escape. Now you are trying to tell me that none of this is real?” Pinkie retorted.

“Well you don’t really get hurt. I’ve been stabbing you in the flank with my knife REPEATEDLY ever since I cut off your cutie marks.”

Pinkie, speechless, looked at her flank. The knife went in…the knife went out. The knife went in…the knife went out. The knife went in…the knife went out. She didn’t feel any of it. She looked back up at Meanie’s face.

Dark Pink looked at Pinkie with pleasant eyes….and then her pupils shrank into dots while her irises widened.

“Are you sure you aren’t just a figment of my imagination?”

“what.”

“Coming back to life? You know that’s not possible. That other Pinkie Pie is dead. You’re me. We do share the same body.”

“what?”

“Maybe theres only one Pinkie Pie, and she’s the one doing the harvesting. But she feels bad for the ponies somewhere in her heart, so she imagines she’s torturing herself, so that THAT Pinkie gets to pretend to be nice again. But the nice Pinkie just thinks she’s being brave not yelling and screaming, she doesn’t realize that it doesn’t hurt because she’s not actually there. THERE’S ANOTHER PONY CHAINED UP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE, SILLY! AND WHEN I CUT YOU, I’M REALLY CUTTING MY NEWEST VICTIM!”

I’m…what?

Meanie Pie stopped and looked at Pinkie as if she was listening to her say something. But she wasn’t. It was almost like some other pony was speaking up that Meanie could hear but Pinkie couldn’t. “Oh, I’m sorry, Sweetie Belle. I’m talking to my other self. Let’s continue…”

And then she stabbed Pinkie in the chest. In areas all over her chest. Pinkie didn’t feel any of it.

I’m imaginary…no. I’M SWEETIE BELLE? O-or projected over Sweetie Belle? All this time she was calling me Sweetie?.... She’s not hurting me…SHE’S KILLING SWEETIE BELLE!

”STOP! STOP! PLEASE PLEASE STOP! SHE’S JUST A LITTLE FILLY! NO! I BEG YOU TO STOP! NO! NO! NO! NOOOOO!” Pinkie screamed bloody murder even though her throat was aching. ..Even though she didn’t feel anything. This had to be a lie…and yet, if it were true…she had to try and get the other Pinkie to stop. To try and save Sweetie Belle. What good was she if she couldn’t do that much! “I won’t run away from you anymore! I’ll do whatever you want! You can keep Sweetie Belle locked up! Just stop please stabbing and try to patch her up! STOPPIT!”

“Hee heee heee eeeeeaa AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HA HA HA HA-OH WOW, YOUR SCREAMS ARE TOTALLY HARMONIZED! YOU REALLY COULD BE THE SAME PONY! HAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!”


Pinkie’s voice eventually gave out. Her body still didn’t hurt, but it felt incredibly heavy. Blood was everywhere. Before she fell unconscious, Pinkie noticed the stabbing did finally stop.

“Oh, and you not being real and killing Dashie being your ticket out isn’t really mutually exclusive. It’s complicated, but I can PROMISE you it makes sense in context. Here, I’ll Pinkie promise!”

Then she did some pantomime that Pinkie was too busy dying to make out.


The Wrathful Wraith had never felt so much impotent rage in its existence. In any form of its existence.

It had carried itself gracefully even in times of difficulty. Even when it saw the one it loved and wanted to protect being encased in some kind of illusion and screaming in horror. That had been the birth of its terrible wrath, but it wasn't the reason its mane was so dishevelled.

And it was disheveled now. Its hair was spectral, and not subject to normal laws of physics, and yet, perhaps the wraith's own body was disturbed by what its spirit had seen. Or perhaps its form was changing to that of a wild animal as its own helplessness drove it mad.

It cursed the Shadow. Screamed and hollered and attacked the Shadow fiercely. It said things about the Shadow, oh, it never thought it would ever be so lost in anger before today.

It was all for naught of course. The shadow didn't know it was there. None of the attacks connected. None of the terrific swears, each one less in keeping with the Wraith's normal ettequete than the last, were heard.

The Shadow didn't even seem to feel cold. How could it not feel this terrible cold? The chill that crept into every corner of the Wrathful Wraith's being. Or did it project like an aura from the Wraith? Whatever the case, this creature of Dark simply had too much tolerance for the cold.

The Wraith felt like it was going to explode! It was also miserable. It couldn't be sure it had ever felt so much anguish, though it was not its own…it knew it could probably never understand…and that made it worse. Was there nothing it could give up? Nothing it could sacrifice to change this horrible situation? Surely, all the gems in the world would be worth...

The other Ghost….this was all its fault. Why had it not intervened in a more meaningful way? Things could be worse…but if what had just happened was not theirs to forbid from happening then why were they even here?

The Wrathful Wraith took on last gaze at the chair. Remembering that the other Ghost had said that the Wrathful Wraith could see through the illusions of the grove. And see the truth.

The corpse lying in the chair was Pink, and not white. Fully grown, and not small. And there was nothing else sitting in the chair. There was no Sweetie Belle. Although it knew that was impossible from the start, it was thankful for that, at least.

Lies. Horrible, horrible lies!

In frustration, the Wraith flew off to seek the others.


Meanie smiled to herself, admiring her work. Actually…she had left a giant mess. But she took pride in it. “When my cute little sweetypants light side accepts me, we’ll become one, and I’ll be able to do this in the real Ponyville! Eeeee, I can hardly wait!” She clapped her hooves.

Taking a closer look at her work, she noted certain things. “Oh my, I really messed this one up. All the organs are ruined. Hey…what’s that?” She said as she reached into a hole in Pinkie’s stomach…and pulled out a half-digested cupcake sliver.

The meat was made to be nigh-invisible, finely minced and dyed the same color as the rest of the cupcake. Still, she knew what to look for to notice that ALL the meat, even at the inside of the cupcake was gone, as if it evaporated.

Hmm…actually, she was right. It does take longer to digest meat. Although…this is no ordinary meat. And so it went before the more digestible cupcake did. Hmm…technically, this should be a bad thing for me, giving her essence back. I might have started to reverse the Encroachment just a little. But…she doesn’t have to know that. Besides…maybe I actually can eat a Pinkie-filled Pinkie. Wonder what it tastes like?

The Baker took a sample of Pinkie’s flesh…and ate it. “Hmm..MMMMMMM!…the meat is spectacularly delicious! Oh wow! It’s better than before! I’m not sharing any of these cupcakes with your next form, Sweetie! They’re all mine. MINE! All for me! AHAHAHAHAHA!”