Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

by totallynotabrony

Chapter 5

The four of them lay on their bellies on a low hill outside of Dodge Junction. Melon blinked
hard, trying to stay awake. He cleared his throat. Judging by at least one soft “wha?” he’d
startled somepony else out of a doze.

Honestly, he couldn’t blame them. Walking all night followed by lying down would do that to a
pony. But they had to concentrate. There was a narrow window left before dawn if they
wanted to pull off this attack.

There were a scant few lights in the town. They’d located the Solar Guard outpost based on
the intel Mirror had sent them. Melon thought he might have detected movement once or
twice, but it seemed that there wasn’t an alert.

“Are we ready?” he asked softly.

“I just want to get this done with so I can sleep,” Chalice replied.

“And get clean,” added Dew.

There was a moment of silence. Melon said, “Scoots?”

“I’m awake.”

“Good. Let’s go.”

Melon pushed himself up. The semi-desert was a strange thing to find right at the edge of a
swamp, but that was the reality of Equestria’s biomes. Judging by the farms Melon had seen,
including a cherry orchard, the townsponies seemed to use the nearby source of water for
crops.

Hayseed Swamp sure had plenty of water. It was almost a blessing that it had been so wet,
otherwise the four of them would be even muddier. Melon could feel the dried mud cracking
off his body as he moved. He tried to shake more of it off.

There weren't any carriages or trains that ran from Horseshoe Bay to Dodge Junction that late
at night. Such a trip would have also cut into their funds, which Melon was already worried
about and it hadn’t even been two full days yet.

They’d gotten through the swamp at a good pace, though to be perfectly frank, it had been a
risky move. There probably wasn’t anything in there that ate ponies, and the four of them had
been trained to fight, but they’d stayed careful. They’d even managed to keep dry the
fireworks Trixie had given them.

But this early morning, they were going for a more subtle approach. The weather was warm,
and as they approached the back of the Guard building, Melon spotted a window that was
open a crack.

They’d already written the note. Unfortunately, all they had was a napkin from the restaurant
Trixie had taken them to in Horseshoe Bay, but it was the message that was important.
You’ve been attacked by the Can’t Remember Faction in the middle of the night. Gotcha!

Melon had almost smirked, reading it, but restrained himself. The others hadn’t held back,
and he’d let them have their fun.

Crouching beside the building, Melon heard a few snores through the open window.

Dew had the smallest head and was colored the dullest, so she’d been designated looker.
Slowly, she eased up over the sill, peeping into the room. She made the signal with her hoof
for “clear.”

Melon passed her the note, and she slipped it inside with her magic. The four of them eased
away into the predawn darkness.

“That’ll give them a surprise,” chuckled Dew quietly. “I left it on somepony’s bedside table.”

“Nice,” said Scootaloo, giving her a hoof bump.

“The train station’s over here,” said Melon, leading them to the other end of town where the
traintracks crossed. Their timing had worked out impeccably and a train pointed north was
being coaled up at that very moment.

“Are there any passenger cars?” said Scootaloo. “This looks like just a freight train.”

“Do you think we could talk to the drivers?” said Dew. “If we tell them who we are, maybe
they’ll let us ride.”

“Are they going to believe us?” said Melon. He gestured at the four of them, covered in mud.
“Also, I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell anypony what we’re doing. Once we start doing more
attacks, they’ll be looking for us. And engineers and conductors travel to all parts of
Equestria. They could tell somepony.”

“Well, what are we supposed to do?” said Dew. “We’ve got to sleep some time, and it wouldn’t
be good for us to stay here, in this tiny town, with guards that will be looking for us come
dawn.”

“We could do it hobo style,” suggested Scootaloo.

“You mean stowing away on the train?” said Chalice.

“Ordinarily, I’d call that illegal,” said Melon. He paused. “But since they let Guards travel for
free on official business, and we are on orders. Plus, I don’t remember anything in the
regs about that only applying to passenger trains.” He glanced at his squad, and saw them all
adorned with wicked little smiles.

The four of them infiltrated the rail yard. There was no security, what with Dodge Junction
being as small as it was. The first boxcar they came to was locked, as was the second.
Melon felt panic rising up in his chest; their plan was falling apart.

He saw the silhouette of the firepony pulling the coal chute back from the engine. It would be
leaving soon. The four of them frantically checked boxcars down the line, but none were
open.

Attempting to get a different perspective, Scootaloo flew up a few feet. “Hey! This car’s got a
roof vent!”

“Can we get up there?” Melon asked.

“Can we get out once we’re in?” added Chalice. “Locked doors, remember.”

“Um.” Scootaloo flew closer, looking at the vent. “I don’t know.”

“Catch!” Melon threw her Lieutenant Mirror’s lighter. Scootaloo grabbed it expertly, just as
the train’s bell began to ring.

From the top of the boxcar, they saw a flicker of flame. “Yeah! It’s mostly filled with bags of
some kind. You should be able to stand on them to climb out.”

Melon gestured Dew and Chalice to climb the ladder. The engine’s whistle blew twice and it
began to move, taking the slack out of the string of cars. Melon heard the bangs of the
couplers traveling down the length of the train.

Chalice got up just as the car began to move and nearly fell. Melon trotted alongside,
watching her climb and silently urging her to move faster. He’d broken into a canter before
there was enough ladder clear for him to grab.

He made it to the top as the train began to accelerate out of town. The vent was obvious and
he squeezed through, dropping down inside.

In the light from Chalice’s horn, he saw the car was about half full of burlap bags stamped
“corn.”

Scootaloo gave him back the lighter and looked around. “Hey, a soft place to rest and
breakfast.”

As if on cue, Melon’s stomach growled. He fought the feeling down. “We can’t do that.”

“Are we supposed to starve to death?” asked Chalice. “I’m sure whoever owns this would
understand, or maybe not even miss it.”

“I could maybe stitch the bag back closed afterwards,” said Dew.

“We’re already bending the rules,” Melon pointed out. He looked at Scootaloo. “You’re from
Ponyville, right? How far is it?”

“Well, only a few hours,” said Scootaloo. “I guess I can wait.”

Chalice put out her light and the four of them lapsed into darkness. Melon put his head down.
The burlap sacks were no bed, but he was so tired that he felt like he could sleep anywhere.

But… His head came up. “We should set a watch.”

“Huh?” one of the others said.

“If we all fall asleep, we might miss arriving in Ponyville. We might end up somewhere else, or
maybe even arrested if we’re found.”

The others made various noises of reluctance. Melon would have to pick somepony to stand
watch first. He glumly realized that the decent thing to do was to do it himself.

“I’ve got it first,” he said. “Get some sleep.”

Melon blinked hard. He couldn’t lay on his back in a semi-comfortable position and stay
awake. He reared up, sticking his face out the roof vent.

The awkward position of standing upright with the wind in his face would probably keep him
awake. He didn’t know if he could stand that way for the couple of hours it would take to get
to Ponyville, or, as he blinked again, if it would even keep him awake that long.

The wind, with a little bit of smoke from the engine, stung his eyes and he closed them.
No! Blinking again, he turned around, facing the back of the train. That helped, but now
he had nothing irritating his face and his eyes grew heavy again. He reluctantly turned around
once more.

Time passed and he caught himself nodding. He shook his head. He wasn’t sure how long
he’d stood there. His legs were tired and he dropped down to all fours to stretch before
standing up again.

The sun was starting to come up on the horizon and Melon stared as the purple changed to
pink and went on to orange.

He wished he had somepony to talk to, but having somepony else awake would defeat the
purpose. He tried to think about their future strategy for something to do, but it was hard to
focus.

It would take time for word of the attacks in Horseshoe Bay and Dodge Junction to reach
Ponyville. In fact, if they kept up their furious pace, they could stay ahead of the news and
retain their advantage of surprise.

The napkin from the restaurant could indicate that the same attackers had done both jobs in
Horseshoe Bay and Dodge Junction. Melon couldn’t manage to muddle through whether that
was good or bad, if it sent a message or made the others realize that there was only one small
red team.

Melon’s nose bonked into the metal of the roof. He jerked back up, seeing that the sun was
peeking over the horizon. He glanced around. They were still in the country.

He decided to wake up Scootaloo. She was slow to rise, but a gentle prod from his hoof got
her moving. The rising sun coming through the roof vent helped.

When she was situated, Melon lay down and closed his eyes.

Her hoof nudged him. “We’re here.”

“This had better not be a joke.”

“It’s not. You were out for maybe an hour.”

It sure hadn’t felt that long. Melon roused himself as Scootaloo nudged the other two awake.
The train began to slow down.

There wasn’t room for the four of them to all have their heads out the vent. Melon asked for a
sitrep.

“We’re coming into the south end of town,” said Scootaloo. “We should probably get off
before the train gets to the station. So that would be about now.”

She climbed out and Melon twirled his hoof in a circle for the order to move. He gave Chalice
and Dew a boost and then pulled himself out. Scootaloo was already flying alongside the
train, which was going faster than Melon had thought from inside the car.

“The grass is tall here,” Scootaloo encouraged. “I can maybe give Chalice and Dew a lift.
Sorry boss, but you’re on your own.”

If that’s how it had to be. Melon steeled himself, climbed down the ladder, and tried to land as
gently as possible, rolling to a stop.

He made it in one piece. Sitting up, he found Chalice and Dew safe and sound. Scootaloo
was nearby, eating an apple half the size of her head. Melon realized they’d come to rest in an
orchard.

He gave her a look, eyeing the apple.

“Nah, it’s cool,” she said, gesturing to the trees around them. “I know the owner. Try them
out.”

Melon’s stomach growled again. He lined up on a tree and gave it a kick. Half a bushel rained
down on them.

“Jeeze, I could have pulled some down!” protested Chalice. “Or maybe Scoots could have
gotten some for us.”

“Sorry,” said Melon. “I was the wrong kind of fruit farmer. I’m also running on an hour of
sleep.”

“Same here,” Dew reminded him.

Melon wished he hadn’t complained. Not only did it give subordinates room to complain too,
but it could make them think he couldn’t handle things. He wasn’t too perturbed, however.
They now had all the apples they could eat, and all of them were delicious.

They followed Scootaloo towards where she said her friends lived. The nap Melon had gotten
didn’t refresh him, but he seemed to be able to think again. They’d have to see what kind of
support the locals were willing to give him and the Privates, and also to swear them to
secrecy. After that, they could plan their attack on the Ponyville target and then start working
on the trip to Los Pegasus. At the moment, surprise was still on their side and they were
about to get some help.

The suck of the previous day was already fading. Melon’s gamble had paid off and they were
in a good position.

He frowned. Did the others recognize that? Or did they just think of him a slave driver, and
would until there were results they could share? He knew he’d been hard on them. Did they
understand why?

Suddenly, he wasn’t so sure of himself.

Comments

[johnnosk]

Running on stolen food, adrenaline and an hours sleep... Sounds like perfect guerrilla warfare!