State of the Ship

by peacevic

Dashing to Rarity

Dashing to Rarity

Berry Punch's question, while unexpected, had given Scootaloo an idea. So a few days after her party she erected a stall in the town square, hung a sign that read 'Consultations- 5 bits', and waited.

She didn't have to wait long.

"Come on, this is st- um, silly. Why are we doing this?" Rainbow Dash complained as she approached.

"It's just a little harmless fun, Darling, so why not indulge her?" Rarity- for indeed Rainbow Dash had not come alone(one could even say she was being dragged against her will)- flashed a disarming smile Dash's way, then turned her attention toward Scootaloo. "Pardon me, but might you be open for business?"

Scootaloo chose to ignore her idol's reluctance and excitedly nodded. "Sure am! Five bits a pairing, satisfaction guaranteed."

"Excellent! Well, it seems to me you have your first client. Rainbow?"

Forcefully- a necessary adverb when saying things through clenched teeth- Rainbow Dash murmured, "Who would I be good with?"

Tiny supernovas detonated and wiped out the twin galaxies in Scootaloo's skull- or so any passersby would attest, so brightly did her eyes beam.

This was it! Right out of the gates, this was what she'd hoped for. A chance to flaunt her pairing prowess to the pony she wanted to impress the most. She had to think hard, she had to think fast, and she had to do both at the same time.

"Aha!" Scootaloo exclaimed suddenly, startling the mares before her after a few moments of silence. "I've got it! A deceptively simple, yet secretly complex answer. A brutishly elegant ship. For the best partner for Rainbow Dash is your, Rarity!"

"Me?!"

"Her?!

"Indeed!" Scootaloo confirmed. "Shipping science does not lie! The gentle, refined mare and the athletic, brash... other mare. It's a match made in shipping heaven!"

"Scootaloo my dear, couldn't the same reasoning apply to Applejack and I?" Rarity inquired, a slightly concerned look on her face.

Scootaloo smiled sheepishly and settled down a bit. Even she would admit she'd overdone it a little with the whole hooves raised to the sky thing. "You would think that, at first. But there's a crucial fact you're overlooking. You run a boutique. Applejack runs a farm. You're both organized and prepared individuals. Rainbow Dash is anything but."

"Making us perfect opposites." Rarity nodded, true understanding dawning on her.

"I think you two are missing something kinda important," Rainbow Dash said, trying to pull the brake lever on this particular conversation train. "Namely, the tiny fact that I'm not gay. And neither are you, Rarity!"

"So? What's wrong with being gay?" Scootaloo accused.

"Nothing, but I'm not!"

"Can't help it if she's your best match." The younger pegasus held out her money tin to the older one. "Five bits, please."

Rainbow Dash turned away, forelegs folded, in denial. "Screw that, I'm not paying for this!"

"But- But I-"

"You said 'satisfaction guaranteed'," Rainbow Dash reminded Scoots as she started floating away. "Your suggestion was awful. I'm not paying!"

Her idol disappointed and departing, Scootaloo felt her grand business crashing and burning around her- before she had even managed to put any fuel in it. Or some other, more appropriate, metaphor. She had to think of something fast. She couldn't afford a 100% disapproval rating.

"Wait, I can do better!"

Comments

[peacevic]

6883767 umm... what?

[Osiris Grandeur]

Umm... Not sure how I feel about this. It could definitely use some expansion on the plot. (if you'll pardon the pun)

[peacevic]

6889337 This wild ride is only getting started, my friend. Just don't expect anything more than simple silliness...

[Osiris Grandeur]

6891093 I actually was expecting to get a villain. Perhaps another pony who has made a life out of Shipping and sees Shipaloo as a rival?

[peacevic]

6891508 Hmmm.... Who's that strange pony trotting into town? Can you see her? Just over the horizon?