Twilight and Sunset Shimmer are lovers, and one aspect of their love is enjoying each other sexually. This usually centers around Sunset's pride and joy. Her horsecock.
Ho. Ly. Fuck. Futa? Check. Horsecock(!) futa? Check. Horsecock on human female?!? Check! Horsecock on human female anal! HO-SWEETLUNA-LY YES I NEED THIS. What a lovely grouping of fetishs. I suddenly desire more of this. (Great 'effing work!)
Loved it! And boy was I surprised and pleased to find them going straight to anal! Heh, sorry, just a big kink of mine. Also, I really liked how sweet and trusting both Sunset and Twilight were with each other. So overall, really sweet and very hot! Thanks for writing and sharing this, and have a happy new year! :D
I enjoyed the scene overall but I have some nitpicks over how you worded things. First, Twilight wakes up at 8:42 and we're told that's early; then she looks at the calendar to see it's Saturday and therefore not late to school. These are contradicting ideas. To say 'It is only 8:42' implies she has time, and it's immediately followed up with terror. And at the beginning everything was "lovely". Where pancakes, bacon, and sausage each got 2 adjectives to describe their greatness, the waffles were apparently bland (and weren't they french toast just a minute earlier?) and grouped with cereal. The dialogue was a tad thick for my tastes - too wordy and clunky for the sake of clearness to the reader left it inorganic feeling (but I did enjoy their teasing each other). Points for consistence and making a vivid scene. I do like the details you included. A quick read-through would do wonders: "Sunset’s blush balls slapping against Twilight’s read" indeed. Also "five friend's" should be "five friends" and "her's" (in "everything in it was her’s") should be "hers"
I really liked the affection and trust, there. It definitely felt like love with the making love; almost like a clop-based signifier of Sunset's character growth. Mix that in with VERY good show not tell of a well developed, comfortable relationship, and it becomes very believable that the shyer human Twi could be ready for this. Huzzah!
This was very enjoyable, however I am nitpicking so I give you a 9.9999/10
Ho. Ly. Fuck.
Futa? Check.
Horsecock(!) futa? Check.
Horsecock on human female?!? Check!
Horsecock on human female anal!
HO-SWEETLUNA-LY YES I NEED THIS.
What a lovely grouping of fetishs. I suddenly desire more of this.
(Great 'effing work!)
6785747 Ah, a pleasure to be of service to those in need of something that goes a little like this~!
Loved it! And boy was I surprised and pleased to find them going straight to anal! Heh, sorry, just a big kink of mine. Also, I really liked how sweet and trusting both Sunset and Twilight were with each other. So overall, really sweet and very hot! Thanks for writing and sharing this, and have a happy new year! :D
... Um... More?
6785891
Yeah, which makes me surprised with its low view count.
6799090 Ah, but to me, I value them all!
I enjoyed the scene overall but I have some nitpicks over how you worded things.
First, Twilight wakes up at 8:42 and we're told that's early; then she looks at the calendar to see it's Saturday and therefore not late to school. These are contradicting ideas. To say 'It is only 8:42' implies she has time, and it's immediately followed up with terror.
And at the beginning everything was "lovely". Where pancakes, bacon, and sausage each got 2 adjectives to describe their greatness, the waffles were apparently bland (and weren't they french toast just a minute earlier?) and grouped with cereal.
The dialogue was a tad thick for my tastes - too wordy and clunky for the sake of clearness to the reader left it inorganic feeling (but I did enjoy their teasing each other).
Points for consistence and making a vivid scene. I do like the details you included.
A quick read-through would do wonders: "Sunset’s blush balls slapping against Twilight’s read" indeed. Also "five friend's" should be "five friends" and "her's" (in "everything in it was her’s") should be "hers"
I really liked the affection and trust, there. It definitely felt like love with the making love; almost like a clop-based signifier of Sunset's character growth. Mix that in with VERY good show not tell of a well developed, comfortable relationship, and it becomes very believable that the shyer human Twi could be ready for this. Huzzah!