A Spell Cast, A Unicorn Caught: 1
I had been doing one of these late night readings, and enjoyed many a book. Spell books are apparently more fun than I had been expecting, some of them are even illustrated with colourful engravings of arcane diagrams.
Being the element of Magic, does give me an edge on the subject. Yet, some of these spells are not for the faint at heart, or the beginners; considering what they entail and the mental strain they are putting on the practitioner attempting to apply the spell in question.
Besides, you need to be highly focused, considering how easy some of these spells could lead you astray. I do have a fairly fresh memory how Rarity had polluted the entire village of Ponyville, after she applied the Imagination Manifestation spell. I had fallen under the same charm by the Want it, Need it Spell before that.
Now, I had a clear image of an old acquaintance of mine by the name of Trixie, who used to fashion herself as the Great and Powerful, when I last saw her. With her face and gestalt clearly before my mind’s eye, I cast the spell I had in mind. I noticed how the magic slowly started to accumulate and the tip of my horn lit up. The ball of light slowly grew and intensified, to the point where the magic cascaded down the sides of the horn; when the light hit my forehead, the spell had gathered all the required power and blew out and vanished out into the ether. The next instant, it caught the target of my imagination by surprise; as it captured her, while inciting her with the desire I had put before her.
Of course, once the light had gone out, it is too late for me to change my mind and withdraw the spell. Maybe I could counter the effects, once I am facing the Pony it had targeted in the first place; but that is only if and when I do come face to face with her in the first place.
Being tired, I trotted up to my room and went to bed with no further thought of what had transpired during the day. A clear mind is one of the tricks to a good night’s restful sleep, after all.
I had carefully folded the quilt as I sat down on my bed and slipped my hooves in under it, before I unfolded it and sank my head onto the pillow. A mere moment after my head hit the pillow, I am sound asleep; resting carefree and oblivious of the world at large. for all I care, there isn’t even a world I could care about at this time.
---
A bright, turquoise light slowly and suddenly enveloped the horn of the Unicorn known as Trixie; as the spell cast upon her, by her former rival by the name of Twilight Sparkle.
Trixie had noticed the light glowing on and around her horn, even if she barely saw a faint glow as an aftereffect of the spell; soon to incite new ideas and desires into her head. Maybe it was fortunate on her, that the spell hit her at this late hour; sparing her the conscious recognition of how it was affecting her during the following hours, while she slept carefree; in the blissful realm of Luna’s dreams, only to wake up as what was to be seen as a new Pony.
The light of the magic residue of the spell soon ebbed out; never to leave any trace of what had transpired, or betray the act; so bluntly forced upon the mare.
---
The rays of Celestia’s sun is already playing over the room; shining through the window of my bed room, as I woke up late the following morning.
Naturally, Spike had already prepared my breakfast; but had not stayed around in the kitchen, waiting for me. He had known better than hanging around, doodling idly for as long as it would take me to wake up after the late night’s reading. Clever little Dragon.
By the time I had finally woken up; he had spent at least an hour, sorting books I was done with and was now dusting off the shelves in the room in which I had been reading. I had heard him happily whistling, as I trotted into the kitchen. I guess he is working better, when we are not getting under one-another’s hooves.
As I leave my kitchen, I realize it is almost time for his lunch. Since I had just finished my breakfast, I trot out of the kitchen and head for the library. I may have been having one of my many late night readings, but the library is the first place to go after breakfast. Wrong or right, but this is where I headed of to. Not so much to snoop on his progress, or to get under his feet; just to have an early whiff of the scent of books. I guess that gives me a special feeling of home, and I do need that more than ever in this large castle.
A moment after I had finally entered the library, I hear the steps of a baby dragon walking out of the very same library on his way back to the kitchen. I leave him to his, while I attend to what was before me; books, books and more books. Maybe I had already read these particular books, but the sigh and scent of them still gives me the feeling of being at home; maybe this is something I had gotten used to and learned, first by my stay at the castle as Princess Celestia’s protege, and then from my stay at the Golden oak library in central Ponyville.
The destruction of the library had not just been my home; it had been the core of my very being, which made it a very traumatic experience. When Tirek had the audacity to hit that close to home; I had struck out with a vengeance and put all the power and magic at my disposal, in order to pay him back. Of course, I could never hit him hard enough; but neither could he put enough force behind his blows to make any actual harm to my boy either. The fight had ended in a stalemate, just as it could have been predicted. Only by returning to the power of my friends could I apply the power of Harmony against him. It had been the only way to touch him, by sending him back to the Tartarus from which he came and rightfully belonged.
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What? I have no idea what's going on. Why does the colored segment cut off. If you start a chapter saying the entire thing is in Twilight Sparkle's POV, you probably shouldn't switch the POV after the first section. While I suppose there's nothing stopping you from writing in present tense, past is the better choice for both novice writers as well as those with writing styles antithetical to using the present tense. The lines seem to represent changes in perspective, but such rapid changes are disorienting and very confusing. I can only gather the faintest idea of what actually is occurring here, and such a short chapter should not inspire such confusion.
6778783 If you by Coloured Segement is refering to the colour of the text, it is merely a means to point out that this is Twilight Sparkle's POV, for now I am cutting this colouring short due to publishing restrictions, although I guess it would have made more sense if I had continued this for the next scene as well?
I used an intermission o point out the effect of her spell directly in the chapter, rather then leaving this up to the next chapter where Trixie is to experience what had happened while she was sleeping.
On the note of the colour, I hope it still is fully readable to you. Otherwise I will gladly adjust the hue to be easier on your eyes.
Most of these lines are for minor shifts in perspective or from a room to the next, as opposed to the full on scene shift to Trixie's location, which is more directly lined out.
If you could elaborate on exactly what is confusing you, I may be able to make the section clearer to you?
On that note, it could easily be the other way around; the shorter section can't contain as much and thus more confusing that a longer chapter.
6778845
Personally, I think using colors to display perspective is an unnecessary crutch, but if you are going to use it, you need to use it consistently. I'm not so much confused by the section as I found so little plot movement as to bore me into being unable to focus. It's all very well to present a thousand word chapter, but it needs to be catchy and intriguing if published on its own, at this point, I have no desire to continue reading, because nothing in the first chapter caught my attention.
So far nothing really happened in the first chapter, Twilight casts the spell but we don't get to see the result? I'd think a better ending spot for the first chapter would be after Trixie has been "captured" and arrived so we know what the story is even about. So far I'm leaning towards this being some sort of mental compulsion/mind control story but everything written so far has been very vague.
6778845 when is the next chapter?
6778997 You are entitled to your perspective and opinion, which I am happy to listen to.
So long as I don't get any complaints about readability or the like, it did only take me a few minutes to set up.
It presented the story and grounded it within the FiM, even if I guess it could have been more interesting and catchy.
Other writers may have done a better job out of it, but from my perspective; the chapter ended where it did due to a matter of the perspective. Besides, I did not have all that much more to add at that specific time.
6779462 She did cast the spell, but little is revealed as to the final, ultimate effect of it. I am going to reveal more of this in the next chapter. If it is enough and in time is up to you as the reader to decide.
I think you need to explain what you mean with Capture, in this case; if you don't mind me expressing it that way?
The chapter ended where it did, due to how I play the perspectives, as in POV and Framing.
6790096 I will publish it on its due date, unless it is delayed. I should be able to publish it by the next week.