The Canterlot Caper

by Silvermyr

Chapter one- Manehattan Mischief

The music was not loud enough. Vinyl looked up from the spinning records and glanced out over the room quickly from her slightly elevated position. Fancypants and his lady, Fleur de Lis, sat by the bar and looked at Vinyl’s boss, who was preparing some of his amazing drinks. It looked like Masterful Maximum Mint Madness for Fancypants and Playful Peach Powerhouse Plus for Fleur. One glass was crossed through with peppermint stripes and the other was bright orange, complete with slices of lemon and lime for the striped one and one piece of peach for the other. Her boss flashed one of his dazzling smiles and began to create two more drinks at the same time for Soarin and Spitfire.

On the floor in front of Vinyl, Rapidfire was dancing with some mysterious mare Vinyl had yet to learn the name of, and in a corner with a couple too many glasses in front of them, sat Fine Line and Vinyl’s marefriend’s friend, Beauty Brass. Fine Line had slightly reddened cheeks and whispered something while nodding towards Rapidfire.

While Vinyl could not hear the music herself due to her large headphones, she knew how real music was supposed to feel when she touched the speaker, and this was not it. She thought she might try to increase the volume just a little. She looked over at the large cage in the corner of the room, just besides the bar where Fancypants indulged in his drink.

The cage was high enough for four ponies to stand on each others backs, and even wider at the floor. Through the shiny bars, Vinyl could see a generous amount of colorful flowers framed by large leaves, along with the most beautiful parrots she had ever seen. She knew there were five of them in the cage. She had been introduced to them the first night at this gig.

There were Simon and Julia, two large, dark blue Hyacinth Macaws with gorgeous plumage. They were the largest of all parrots in the cage. There was also Matthias, a pretty small, lime-green Golden-Plumed Parakeet. He would have been Vinyl’s favorite, if she could bring herself to like the animals that forbade loud music. Finally, there were two white Cockatoos with a yellow comb of feathers on each of their heads, called Varg and Vixy. Vinyl had nearly fallen of the stage in surprise when she heard one of them speak. She had no clue birds could do that.

Vinyl sighed and dropped the thought of real music. She had tried once, and the parrots had gone absolutely bonkers. It had taken her boss a large amount of seed and magic to calm them down enough for Vinyl to hear her own music. The parrots were extremely loud when agitated and most of the guests had given her angry glances. Luckily, her boss had not fired her for that little stunt.

Vinyl looked about the rest of the room. It was what one might expect at a club like this. Red wall-to-wall carpet on the floor, except on the dancing area which was clad with the most expensive wood there was. A large shelf held some bottles of wine and champagne along with various mismatched trinkets. Vinyl was pretty sure she had seen houses cheaper than those bottles.

The room was dimly lit and gave a cozy and secret feeling at the same time. The room practically yelled ”VIP”. Only a select few ponies were allowed in here, either as guests or thanks to bank accounts that could be mistaken for phone numbers. It was only fitting that the best DJ in the world handled the music, and the master of drinks mixed up his creations here. But even the best DJ had never seen the holiest of holies, the small door with a golden sign. Inside was the VIP room of the VIP club. Only ponies hoof picked by her boss were allowed in there.

Still, no doubt about it. Club ”Golden Apple Slice” was the best thing that had happened to Vinyl since she got her cutie mark. This place was the cream of the cream of the crop, the most exclusive place in Canterlot, and her paycheck reflected that. Her boss was a nice guy too, and the guests loved her sound.

Vinyl glanced at the large design clock at the wall and saw it approached midnight. About three hours until most guests would leave, and she could get one of her boss’ special drinks free of charge. She let her tongue lick her lips as she though about the Raging Raspberry Rainbow Raider, her favorite.

”Cheers,” She whispered to herself as she switched out a record without the slightest break in the music.

*****

”Cheers,” The Equilibrist said with a peppy voice as he raised his drink, not one of the special creations, but plain apple cider. His friends all raised their own drinks towards the pink mare in the room, who looked around with smiling, slightly embarrassed eyes. She had finally done it. She was a full-fledged member of The Circus.

”From this day forth, you will be called ’The Bearded Mare’ while we work,” The Equilibrist said with an amused, but not unkind, smile. The mare sighed in mocked resignation.

”And there is no way I can have another name, is there?” she asked for the thousand time.

”Hey, it does fit your work, does it not?” The Wizard chuckled. ”The mare with a thousand faces. A beard is foalsplay, isn’t it?”

The Bearded Mare glanced at The Wizard with a dark look that broke for the wave of laughter coming from her. ”I guess it does fit,” She said. The atmosphere in the small, white room was happy, rambunctious even. For the first time in pretty much forever, they welcomed a new member into the inner circle. Even the large whiteboard that normally was filled with their respective assignments had been cleaned. Nopony should think of their jobs tonight. Now was the time for celebration.

”Well, Bearded Mare, you know of our rules,” The Escape Artist said as she lifted her blue drink and nodded towards her. She took a sip. ”Is there any old grudge you want to settle before you leave your old life behind? Last chance. Can’t have that type of thing getting in the way of our work, now can we?”

The Bearded Mare’s heart began to beat faster. This was what she had waited for. While she really liked the ponies she worked with, thought of them as friends even, it was this that made her seek out The Circus from the beginning. This was why she had wanted to join them, as she could never afford to hire them the normal way.

”Yes there is. I want you to ruin a certain mare, m’kay?” The Bearded Mare said. She knew it was an unnecessary question, but one should be polite when speaking to her equals.

”Yea, yea, whatever,” The Illusionist said with a lazy voice. The Bearded Mare looked at him. Of all ponies she had met in the circus he was the greatest shock. He was famous. Big time famous. Why would he join The Circus? He who had everything?

Then again, she would have preferred that he was not here. He was just as bumptious and self important as the rumors said. Put simply, he was one big pain in the flank to deal with. Nevertheless, nopony could deny that there was a core of skill and wit under his lazy surface. Unfortunately, he seemed to know that too.

”Coco Pommel,” The Bearded Mare said the name like a curse.

”And of course I have to do that.” The Illusionist said with a sigh. ”We geniuses have to make sacrifices for you slow ponies.” He rose from his chair while looking around the room with an air of smug superiority. He lifted up his glass, emptied it and began to walk towards the door.

”No, you don’t,” The Bearded Mare said calmly, ignoring The Illusionist’s comment. ”She lives in Manehattan at Wideway twenty-six. Besides, I have waited for years. I can wait another day.”

”F-fine, wh-what-t-t exac-c-ctly d-do you w-want-t?” The Tamer asked with his typical stammer. There was a nasty glint in his mismatched, half mad, eyes. Or, at least The Bearded Mare thought so. It was hard to read anything from The Tamer.

”Make her lose her work and her money, alright?” The Bearded Mare said slowly, ”Nothing more, nothing less.”

She continued in her mind. ”That will teach her. She would be nothing without me, but she stabbed me in the back. Well, let’s see how well generosity works when you have nothing to give! I’m doing her a favor, really! It’s everypony for herself in the fashion world, whether she is too naïve to understand it or not!”

”Sounds like a job for me and… The Clown?” The Equilibrist asked with a questioning look around the room. ”Where is she, by the way?”

”RRRRAK, Clown, Clown, RRRRAK” A large Glossy Black Cockatoo said with a raspy voice from its pin. It flapped its wings as flew through the air and landed on The Equilibrist’s back. He levitated up some seeds for the bird.

As if on cue, The Clown came through the door and looked around apologetically. ”Sorry, everypony. I had to finish some orders, and then the train was late, and then…”

”It’s not the first time,” The Illusionist interrupted with a demeaning voice. The Clown’s ears laid flat to her skull as she sat down at the table.

”No matter,” The Equilibrist said dismissively. ”We have a new member, The Bearded Mare, master of costumes and disguises.” He beckoned towards the purple mare, who looked at The Clown. She had not worked much with her during the initiation, but she could understand why they could have use for a pony like this. It was impossible to think that she was a member of The Circus.

”Hello, and welcome,” The Clown said, cheerful as ever, and heightened a glass of cherry juice in a toast. Unfortunately, she moved her glass a little to energetically and spilled half of the contents over The Wizard. ”Ooh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, really, I didn’t…” The Wizard dismissed her clumsy apology with a wave of his hoof.

”No matter. I have enough bits to buy a new tie, after all…”

The Clown immediately became happy again. She then flapped her wings, flew over the table and landed beside The Tamer, who took her hoof in his.

”By the way, we just got a job tomorrow,” The Equilibrist said excitedly as he sipped at his drink.

”Okay…” The Clown said with a somewhat tired, but submissive voice. ”I wanted to get some real sleep tomorrow night.”

”Well, that is not going to happen,” The Escape Artist said with a mischievous smile. ”But The Escape Artist will think of you as she falls asleep tomorrow.”

The Clown shot a sullen look at The Escape Artist. ”Thanks,” she said with a resigned voice.

”So, how much do you need?” The Wizard asked. He removed his tie and leaned backwards.

”Some material for the masks, and two first-class tickets to Manehattan,” The Equilibrist responded after a few seconds thought.

”They have to be first class, don’t they?” The Wizard said with a voice that was half amused and half asking. ”Fine, you will have the stuff tomorrow.”

There was silence for a few seconds.

”So, you want any proof or something?” The Equilibrist said with a smile towards The Bearded Mare.

”Just tell me how she looked, m’kay?” The Bearded Mare said with a wicked grin.

”You got it,” The Equilibrist said as he levitated up some more seeds from his pocket. ”Here you go, Prankster,”

”RRRRAK Prankster! RRRRAK, Prankster!” The parrot answered as he dove in at the seed.

*****

The moon was high over Manehattan. A lonesome carriage was the only thing moving in the grand city, trudging sleepily under the streetlight. Nopony saw the two ponies covering at the roof of a skyscraper at the Wideway street. The pegasus and the unicorn with his large parrot and ropes around his body both laid on the roof with binoculars pressed to their eyes. The looked through the window of one of the very few apartments that still was lit up.

Their target was a very cute mare. She had cream colored coat and two tones of turquoise in her mane and tail. Around her neck she wore an orchid collar with a pale red scarf. She had been sewing for the last few hours. She also had made the mistake in angering The Bearded Mare. That was pretty much all they knew.

”Curtains rise, for now the show begins,” The Equilibrist said calmly as he draped the mask The Beaded Mare had made for him over his face. He looked at a small mirror he had brought and noted with pleasure that his looked exactly like Hoity Toity with exception of the horn on his forehead.

The mask was made by some semi-soft plaster that laid perfectly against his skin. So perfect was the fit that the lips moved when he spoke. Even he had to look closely to find any flaws in it. He looked at The Clown and found Fleetfoot looking back at him.

”I’ll say, The Bearded Mare is really good,” The Equilibrist said.

”These are way better than the ones we had before,” The Clown chimed in.

”A shame to hide your face though,” The Equilibrist said with a kind smile. The Clown fidgeted a little, and it was apparent that she blushed under the mask.

The Equilibrist turned away and looked over the knot he had tied to the thick pipe just behind him. He tested it a few times, and was pleased to see that it held firmly. He levitated the other end of the rope up, tied it to a grappling hook, and threw it over the edge of the skyscraper. It had not begun to fall before Prankster picked it up and flew off. He heard The Clown rummaging through her saddlebag, probably checking everything for the hundredth time.

The Equilibrist saw his trusty companion dump the grappling hook onto Coco Pommel’s balcony railing. He looked at the rope in front of him. It was very slack and he would have to move three floors downwards. It swayed a little in the wind. Piece of cake for him, but a deathtrap for anypony else. He began to trot down the rope with The Clown flying beside him.

He looked at the rope in front of his hooves and caught a glimpse of the street far below him. He did not care in the slightest; he was The Equilibrist. The rope swayed, but he knew it would and balanced it out with his own bodyweight as he went. The two ponies had crossed the street in just a couple of seconds and stood on their quarry’s balcony.

The Clown went forward to the window and knocked. Coco Pommel looked up from her work and met the Equilibrist’s eyes. He noted that she flinched as she saw them outside her balcony door. The two ponies on the balcony looked at Coco, and she looked back like she had seen a ghost. The Clown knocked again. The mare in the room got of her chair and opened the door.

The Clown sprung from her position near the door and slammed into Coco Pommel. They both fell on the floor and The Clown put her hoof over Coco’s mouth to prevent her from screaming. She was a Pegasus, and so much weaker than Coco, but she had the element of surprise on her side, as well as decent knowledge in hoof-to-hoof fighting. Besides, she was in tip top shape due to her work.

Coco tried to shake her hoof away, but The Clown held steadily. She saw Coco heighten her front hooves to hit her. That was exactly what she had waited for. She hit Coco three times rapidly in the stomach, noted how her enemy exhaled, and then leaped off her to give The Equilibrist time to preform his signature trick.

The four ropes snaked without magic through the mess of the apartment as Coco was still trying to catch her breath. The four small lassos each landed perfectly around Coco’s hooves, and The Equilibrist pulled quickly, tying them.

The Clown hopped at Coco again and put a damp cloth over her mouth and nose. She noted that Coco tried to hit her, but the force of the blows was dampened by The Equilibrist pulling the ropes as Coco tried to fight. The Clown hit Coco in the stomach again and her opponent exhaled. She saw Coco’s terrified glance as she tried not to breath, as she knew what that would mean.

But Coco’s instinct won over her mind. She opened her mouth and breathed greedily of the chloroform in the cloth. Coco continued to inhale the strong smelling air, and became more and more dazed with every breath.

The Clown got off her now defenseless target and scooped Coco up on her back.

”Here will do, come on,” The Equilibrist called from another room. She followed the voice, and entered a bedroom. Her partner stood by the bed and nodded to her. She dropped Coco on the bed, and The Equilibrist began to tie Coco’s legs up. Before long, the dazed mare was stretched like an X on the bed.

The two ponies waited calmly for Coco to come back to her senses. After fifteen minutes, The Clown went up to Coco and clopped her hooves in front of her.

”Hello, how do you feel? I didn’t use to much, did I?” The Clown asked anxiously. ”Sorry, I really don’t know the dosing too well…” The now wide awake and frightened Coco looked at The Clown with a terrified glance.

”HEL-!” Coco began before The Clown’s hooves muffled her screams.

”Now, now, calm down, would you?” The Equilibrist said with a professional voice. ”We will not hurt you if you do exactly as we say, you understand? Just cooperate, and everypony wins.”

Coco looked at The Equilibrist with tears in her eyes, and then nodded. The Equilibrist could clearly see that she was hyperventilating.

”Good, why be enemies when we can be friends, right?” The Equilibrist chuckled to himself. He sat down at the bed beside Coco. ”First of all, I’m The Equilibrist, criminal mastermind, and this is my colleague, The Clown. Hello.”

Coco looked back at him with the same terrified look. She didn’t answer. The Equilibrist paused for a second, then continued.

”Now, The Clown and I have a small task to perform, and then we will be out of your hair. Where do you keep your money?”

The three ponies looked at each other, and Coco sighed in resignation. ”The safe in the closet in the room you entered,” She said unhappily. ”The code is ninety-six thirteen.”

”A pleasure doing business with you, miss Coco,” The Equilibrist said with an assertive voice. ”Clown, if you please.”

”Okay!” The Clown nodded in her excited way. She looked through her saddlebag and took up a foldable tripod and camera. She placed the equipment a bit away from Coco and looked through the lens. Coco’s lower body was seen in profile, her cutie mark clear in sight, but the ropes around her ankles were left out of the picture.

The Equilibrist placed his head a bit above Coco’s lower stomach and held perfectly still. The flash lit up the room five times as The Clown snapped a series of photos. She was careful to leave The Equilibrist’s horn and Coco’s tied hooves out of the picture.

”What are you doing?” Coco asked silently, dreading the answer.

”We are getting some juicy articles for the Manehattan Times and the Canterlot Courier,” The Equilibrist said with a wry smile. ”I reckon Hoity Toity will like seeing himself on the front page with you, eh? You are rather cute, actually, but I’m sure you get that all the time.”

Coco’s breath caught in her throat. Those pictures likely looked downright scandalous, and Hoity Toity was never the most forgiving stallion. He was the pony with capital P in the fashion world, and what was displayed in his boutique was going to be all the rage the next few seasons. To make an enemy out him was a sure way for a designer to kill her career.

And to pretend to have an affair with him was one sure way to make him an enemy.

If the pictures were published in the most popular newspapers there was, then Hoity would never touch anything she had made ever again. Her reputation would be as bad as Suri’s.

Coco forced herself to remain somewhat calm. She licked her lips. ”W-what do you want?” She asked silently.

”You. Ruined,” The Equilibrist said without heat. ”Now, that’s your immediate assets and your contacts taken care of, so let’s move on.”

The Pegasus who looked like Fleetfoot trotted out of the room and could be heard messing around in Coco’s studio.

Coco cried silently. Why did this have to happen to her? She noted her right leg being untied. Through her tear-filled vision she saw a checkbook and a golden pencil being held towards her. She could not see how much the check was for, but it looked like a large number. ”Sign, if you please. I am sure the Manehattan day care will appreciate your donation.”

Coco looked with tear-filled eyes at The Equilibrist. ”Please, let me go,” she begged silently. ”I have done nothing wrong, I am just a designer. Please let me go… please…”

”That’s former designer now,” The Equilibrist corrected. ”Hurry up now, or I will be forced to show you some other ways to use a rope.” A new, thin rope appeared from within The Equilibrist’s suit and he held it in front of Coco. She gasped as she saw a multitude of tiny spikes penetrating the fibers. It was more of a barbed wire than a rope. She shook with sobs as she picked up the pencil and wrote her name on the check, validating it.

”Thank you,” The Equilibrist said. He put the checkbook in his suit pocket and looked at the sobbing Coco.

”I’m done!” The Clown called from Coco’s studio. ”Ready to light!”

”Then let’s hightail out of here,” The Equilibrist said calmly. ”You are not going to mention this to the police, right? Else we simply must return and… remove the evidence, as it were,” He let the barbed rope slide over Coco’s belly as he spoke.

Coco nodded furiously and the tears sprinkled the bed around her. ”I won’t say a word, promise, just please don’t hurt me, please.” She looked with pleading eyes at The Equilibrist.

The Clown quickly snapped a picture of Coco’s crying face. The Bearded Mare would probably appreciate that. ”Light it,” The Equilibrist said as he began to untie Coco.

The Clown skipped into Coco’s studio. A zapping sound could be heard, followed by a roaring flame.

”Your sewing machine short-circuited and burnt down your store of cloth and started projects. The Clown and I were never here,” The Equilibrist explained as he rolled up the ropes and slung them over his shoulder.

The two assailants were not stressed in the slightest by the fire in the next room. They left the bedroom where Coco was crying her heart out and went to the balcony.

”RRRAK! Fire, fire, RRRAK!” Prankster said as he climbed in the grating that made up the balcony railing.

”Fire indeed,” The Equilibrist said as he leaped up on the rope, and galloped along it with The Clown flying beside him. As he left his makeshift bridge for the roof where they had spied on Coco, Prankster picked up the grappling hook and flew towards him, erasing all proof that they had been there.

”Curtains fall, for the performance is over,” The Equilibrist declared.

”Not quite yet,” The Clown reminded him. ”Hand me the check, and I will post it to the Manehattan day care and the photos to the newspapers.”

”Alright, I will alert the firefighters,” The Equilibrist said and handed the check to The Clown. ”See you at the train station in an hour?”

”Make that one hour and a half,” The Clown said. ”I saw a bakery that was still open on the way here. And was it really necessary to threaten her? Poor thing looked terrified.”

”That was the point,” The Equilibrist said patiently. ”Besides, you know I would never go through with that.”

The two ponies stood silent for a few moments. ”Get me some apple fritters, would you?” The Equilibrist said lightly and went towards the elevator. The Clown flew from the roof.

Author's Note:

So there is my first chapter. Feels good to finally publish it.

Good luck with the guessing game!

On a sidenote, The Equilibrist's bird, Prankster, is a Glossy Black Cockatoo, which is an actual species of parrot, looking like this. Yes, I know they can't speak in our world, but this is Equestria.

I hope you find my story as fun to read as it was for me to write.

Comments

[Black_Tiger18]

[Black_Tiger18]

Very interesting so far. Can't wait to keep reading.