What Did I Do Now?

by Hillbe

What did you two do now?

What did you two do now?

Twilight and her staff exited the Ponyville Station the riggers of the trip were mild compared to the week of training.
The more she saw the bureaucratic mess of government the more she thought why Celestia didn't banish the whole lot of them.
From the over zealous tax mare to the executive officer that thought of using a park as a land fill for magical waste then converting
it to an exclusive golf course for the filthy rich.

She grabbed her bags like the rest of her staff and set off for home. In the great halls the guards and staff went their
separate ways. She was thinking of calling Spike to prepare a much desired snack and a restful bath. As she entered the kitchen she saw Spikes note neatly folded with the tailless mane-less plushy sitting next to it. Nix the call to her assistant what was in his note?

She read the note, a shiver went through her hooves her eyes went bright as she pranced around "Yes yes yes yes he finally did it!"
The words written with soft scrolls and little ceremony 'Dear Twilight, I and the lady Rarity will be out and about on our first date '
She couldn't believe her little dragon finally became a drake, After all she always knew Casanova would win the ladys hoof.
'Snacks in the fridge don't worry we might be out a bit late. Your number one assistant, Spike' Twilight grabbed a snack leaving
the kitchen trotting along with a stupid smile on her muzzle. "Oh Spike I'm so proud of you little guy!"

Plopping her bags by the entry of the bath, she turned the taps while she studied her condition in front the vanity, As the tub filled
she tied her hair up into a bun, brushed her teeth plucked a few wild hairs off her eyebrows. Her last procedure was to
put on a nice mud mask. The warm frothy water in the tub looked inviting she lightly stepped into the water, its warm embrace
was a welcome feeling, she lowered herself up to her neck held her breath and submerged just to the mask on her face.

She thought how his first date would be like , Dinner dancing holding hooves, a walk in the park, his first kiss under
the stars, She let out her breath and breathed in a new load of fresh air, she continued to think about the lucky little dragon.
She sniffed the air was it the mud mask? She sniffed again was it a new soap? What was that smell ? A light musky aroma perfume?
Twilight froze laying in the water That smell? I know it! What is it? Her mind raced to the only answer.SPIKE!
Her hooves slipped on the smooth walls of the tub her head and body thrashing submerging into the spoog filled water.
The aroma invaded Twilights nostrils as dragon spunk and mare sauce spoiled water entered her muzzle.

A purple flash exploded in the bathroom as Twilight in her panic teleported out of the spunk filled enclosure.
Her wild ride with a magical aura took everything. Her, her mud mask, the spoog filled water, the tub with about a hoof load
of copper pipes fittings and valves.

In a bright flash of purple light Twilight and her spoogmobile ascended into Celestias day court full of Nobles, Citizens and
all other Equestrian publicans. Twilight seeing the eyes of Equestrias elite focusing cast another transport spell in hopes that her
mud mask would hide her identity. With another bright flash she was gone leaving the empty but spunk covered tub behind.
Celestia snickered whispering to the Pony at Arms "You sure don't see that here on every other Sunday".

A sound of crashing copper and a tsunami of rancid bath water escaped the magical bubble. Twilights mud mask
hid the world from her eyes but her ears heard gasps and screams of the patrons of Sugar Cube Corner.

Twilight wiped the mask from her face as her eyes focused she saw a blue set of eyes looking back. The pink one stood before her
holding her nose to keep the smell of the perfume of dragon love from gagging her and spoiling the conversation.

Pinkie smiled her best smile at the sludge covered princess waiting for the question.

"Hi Twilight nice day isn't it?"

"Yes Pinkie".

"You taking a bath?" She fondled Twilights mane softly pulling out strands of dyed violet hair and a false eyelash.

"No I always teleport with the essence of a Fashion mare and my number one assistant on important occasions like this".

"You can use the bathroom up stares I'm sure he won't mind a bit, Gummy that is. He has a slight cold he won't smell a thing".

"Is he in the tub?"

"Yes"

I'll pass, Mr. Cake do you have a garden hose out back?"

"We have one by the grease pit and dumpster will that do?'

"That'll be perfect!"

"Pinkie?"

"Yes?"

"I'll be back!"

The water was ice cold and the smell of rotting cakes or whatever was in direct competition with the
perfume de la amore' dragon her gag reflex took over and the Highness of Friendship capsized losing her full load of oats.
Empty bottles rolled across the deck as she heaved hoed multiple times catching the attention of the Foal Free Press corps.

Twilight turned full face to the cameras drool and vomit a foundation for a set of glazed eyes and a fuzzed out unkempt mane.

Pinkie heard a stumbling noise in the back of kitchen, leaving the counter she bounded through the saloon doors her eyes
scanning for signs of a distressed muffin it wouldn't be the first time that the walleyed mare put on a secret rescue mission for the
tasty treats held in captivity by the local baker.
A ruffling noise sounded from behind the janitors closet door. Pinkie armed herself with a piping bag of vanilla walnut frosting.
She eased to the suspected door and put her ear to it's surface listening for the bakery burglars next move.
Tinkling? Pinkie listened harder, Tinkling? Who would be tinkling in my closet? A magic carp? Wee Little Winky?

With the piping bag at the ready she threw open the door to the cramped dark hole, seeing a shadowy figure
she aimed the confectionary weapon of uncalculated destruction and squeezed.

"I'm sorry Twilight I thought you were a cookie monster until you came out of the closet" Pinkie finished
toweling off the once purple filled e'clair.

"That was all my fault Pinkie If I hadn't taken your offer earlier I wouldn't have been using that janitors sink".

"That's ok Twiley I'm sure you can pull some strings at the health department to reopen Sugar cube Corner till then it looks like the
Cakes and me will be using that extra space in the castle. Right next to Spike and Raritys room.

"You mean Spikes room".

"Ah you didn't hear?"

"No . . . WHAT didn't I hear?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. . . Ha ha ha ha .Oh look you still have frosting in your ears!". She chuckled "You didn't hear nothing".

The thrones of the crystal castle sat empty the map laid silent a testimony to another boring day.
The Cutie Marked Crusaders moved from station to station cleaning and polishing what could move and
dusting or mopping what couldn't move. While at the same time being lectured on the virtues of true romantic love and the vulgar industrialization of copulation. The trio of over zealous cupids with brand new cutie marks appreciated the generous gesture of not having to clean the bathroom as mysteriously the tub was missing. Raritys rant concluded with a parting question.
"Didn't you fillies learn from that love poison incident?"

"I done told them it wasn't a good idea".

"Well it was Sweeties idea with your stupid book".

"Well you two looked so cute together and now you two make a really cute couple".

"Sweetie how would you feel if I coupled you up with Button without your permis ..."

"Wow could you? Buttons so cool!" Sweetie gushed like a fan foal.

Rarity could only facehoof.

Spike spoke up next to her "It's good that we're a couple now but how you did it was B. A. D. It scared the Tar out of me
If I was the type of dragon who would scare easily ah not that I was scared mind you but a really really..."
"Spike it's ok, girls that was a nice thing you did but it was a rather rude and very unladylike thing to do." Rarity winked "understand?"

"Yes Miss Rarity" sounded out with a "Yeah I got it Sis" mixed in for good measure.

The sound of castle doors resounded through the halls the heavy hoof beats of several ponies approached
the main room Spike Rarity and the Crusaders waited for the fate worse than death coming around the corner.

"KENBROATH GILSPOTEN HEATHSPIKE THEE DRAGON!" Twilight bellowed in a good facsimile of that fine Canterlot voice.

The two love birds trembled as the three other fillies laid down and covered their ears with rubber covered hooves.
The tools of cleaning dusting and mopping rolling on the floor.

"APPLE BLOOM WHAT IN TARNATION ARE YOU MESSIN WITH MY LIVESTOCK COURTIN BOOK?" The farmer yelled.

"Hey Squirt great job! you had them go at it in a tub of all places" Rainbow looked at the scowling faces all around.

Pinkie whispered to Rainbow "What about you and the Cakes kitchen sink?"

"SQUIRT THAT WAS JUST a little NOT COOL like about three and a half percent".

"Ah girls they're only foals lets go easy on them, If you don't mind . . .If you please. Ah Ok?

Pinkie was the last to say anything she took a breath let it loose
"I-just-think-it's-really-great-that-you-and-Rarity-are-a-couple-now-and-I-hope-you-two-have-lots-of-fun-and-babies-and-live-happily-ever-after-but-in-most-stories-about-dragons-a-stupid-prince-comes-along-and-slays-the-dragon-but-I-hope-you-slay-the-prince-first-cause-Rarity--would-be-heart-broken-and-become-Nightnare-Rarity-and-that-would-be-very-bad-very-bad-indeed, And you fillies are
invited to all my parties after you're finished being grounded.

She looked at the disbelief in her friends faces "What? Spike and Rarity are really really make a cute couple!"

A collective facehoof could be heard from the Crystal Castle as it echoed across Ponyville and into the Everfree Forest beyond.

The whole bunch watched Spike as he heated the fittings and pipes soldering the bits and pieces back to a functioning bathtub.
Twilight closed the Husbandry manual and turned her gaze at her two subjects one friend one assistant and now her best couple of
bathtub wreckers engaged in great teamwork at finishing up with her Highnesses newly remodeled bathroom.

"So Spike what's this I hear about you and Rarity on your first date?" Apple Jack quizzed "Better be no funny business goin on".
Spike was about to speak but lady Rarity beat him to the punch.
"Oh no funny business at all Apple Jack after all a lady does have a reputation to uphold Spike was the perfect gentledrake in public
his manors are an excellent example of the classic courtship of a lady. I'm sure all the local stallions could learn a thing or two".

Pinkie was all smiles when it came to the end of Raritys answer to monkey business. She giggled laughed and did a few face plants
to a nearby wall she staggered to the center of the room looked Rarity straight in the eyes. With a wink she leaned in to whisper in
the marsh mellow mares ear "In public? Good one Rarity".

Rarity blanched fumbling with her words a blush growing with every second. "You're baby secrets safe with me". Pinkie pranced away.

Spike reached out snapping Rarity out of the strange zone "What was that about?"

Rarity looked at Spike her eyes twitching "Ba ba ba I'm fine precious scales shall we invite the others to dinner I'm famished".

The dining hall was decked out in the finest eatery that Ponyville had to offer of course most of the grub came from
Sweet Apple Acres and the Sugar Cube Corner as for Sofa and Quills you really couldn't make a meal from what was sold there
unless you happen to be a termite or a louse.
Spikes smoke flavored roasted vegetables hay fries and claw made oat burgers had everypony on seventh heaven.
Apple Jack and Pinkie rolled out the delicious pastries with a side of snifters full of hard cider.

Spike was trying his best to cater hoof and claw to Raritys desires till she turned the tables on the drake her blue magic pulled
him up close to her muzzle her horn softly glowing she softly whispered in his ear making sure no pony else could hear
"Spikey dear precious scales we are equals in life let me cater to you sometimes or I'll put you between my thighs and squeeze you till your eyes pop out".

Spikes eyes went wide at the statement made by his lovely mare "You promise!"

Everypony had a grand time and the guest rooms and the elements rooms filled with the sound of happy full ponies and one dragon.
Twilights voice rang out "No Spike you're not sleeping in Raritys room tonight! My castle - My rules."

"AWE COME ON!"

" Who said that! "

Comments

[OmniFox]

Blame Rarity with her uncouth innuendos.