Defenders of Harmony

by chillbook2

Back to Earth

I opened my eyes just in time to see Rainbow Dash kick my cloud from underneath me. In time to see, not react. I fell to the ground with a soft thud.

“Oomf. What the hell?” I said angrily. “I was sleeping!”

“No shit, Sherlock Hooves! I’ve been trying to wake you up for ten minutes! We were supposed to leave already!” she replied angrily.

“Damn! Let’s go!” I said, getting to my feet. We ran at full gallop to the throne room. I shoved open the door, ran and slid into a bow a few feet in front of the throne next to the Mane Six.

“Sorry… I’m… late… princess.” I panted.

“What are you talking about? You’re right on time.” said Princess Celestia.

“Is that so? Rainbow Dash and I are going to have a little talk when we get there.” I muttered under my breath. “So what now?”

“I set up an abandoned house on the outskirts of town for you to use as a base. Open a Rift there and then go get your friends. The house has enough room for you to fit in comfortably, if a little snug. There is an armory and training room installed. Oh, and take this.” she said, kicking Lunar, Celestial, and a large burlap sack towards me. I opened it up to see a large pile of bits. I assumed that since gold was a natural ore it would be affected by the Chameleon Effect.

“Thank you, princess. When can we leave?”

“Right now, if you’re ready. Don’t forget to close the rift on the other side. Don’t want any more humans randomly walking into Equestria.”

“You guys ready?” I said, turning to the mares.

“Ready!” they replied in perfect unison. I stood up, grabbed my gear, and slung it over my shoulder. I reached my hands forward and ripped open a Rift. This time, I was bathed in a blinding white light. Once it subsided, I heard a gasp.

“What? What happened?” I asked worriedly. Twilight simply pointed at my thigh. I looked down and saw a symbol, a curved arrow looping around to the back of another curved arrow, on my flank. The arrows were split down the middle by a fissure-like crack. I got my cutie-mark! I would have to celebrate later. I threw the sack through, latched my pistol and blade to either hip, and walked through the Rift. I felt my body warp through the vortex of the universe and tripped into a musky old house. The wallpaper was peeling in some places and 2 of the four windows I could see were boarded up. We’ll work with this, I thought to myself. Just then, I heard 6 bodies hit the ground. I turned around and saw my new friends on the ground in a pile. I hoisted them over my shoulder one at a time and carried them to a nearby bedroom. There were nine beds exactly. That was a good thing. I looked around the house for a closet and found a separate room with, you guessed it, nine closets, three filled with male clothes and six filled with female clothes.

“Wow, Princess Celestia hooked us up!” I exclaimed. Looking through the clothes, I saw that Celestia filled it with clothes specifically matching the personality of each of the Mane Six. Rainbow’s closet was filled with tank tops and skinny jeans, Aj’s with plaid shirts and blue jeans, Rarity’s had elegant dresses, Twi had sweater vests and sweatpants, Pinkie had bright t-shirts, and Fluttershy had long-sleeved green and yellow shirts with khaki pants. At that moment, I realised the Mane Six would wake up without pants. I grabbed a pair of pants from each closet and threw them on top of each of the Six. When I got to Fluttershy, I watched her shrink. Her face receded, her ears slid down her face, and her fur seemed to melt back into her body. Her skin was a pale pastel yellow. The Chameleon Effect was taking place. Didn’t Twilight say something about screaming?

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!” screamed Fluttershy. I froze. Is this how she felt when I changed? My stomach exploded with terror and I couldn’t think. I reached forward and rubbed her forehead slowly. As soon as my hand touched her, she stopped. Slowly, she opened her eyes.

“What happened? Did we make it?” said Fluttershy breathily. She sat up, touching her face tenderly. Slowly, her eyes lit up with panic. “What happened to my muzzle?!” she exclaimed.

“Don’t worry about it. You changed into a human. I’ll teach you how to turn back when we get back.” I said. “Here, put on these pants.” She looked at the pants sprawled across her lap. Grasping them, she lifted the blanket to put them on. I swiftly turned away. “Uh, Fluttershy? Next time, don’t remove the blanket when you put on your pants.”

“Sorry.” she said. “They’re on. What now?”

“Stay here until I come get you.” I said, walking out. “I’m going to change back, and I will have to put pants on. It is very important that you stay in there.” I went into the closet room and pulled out some jeans from my closet. I concentrated hard on being human and began to change back. I felt my body shrinking and my skin flowing like hot wax. My body re-solidified and I knew I changed back. I put my pants on, stowed my gun and sword away in the closet, and grabbed a pen and paper. I wrote a quick note, telling the girls that I’d be back, Flutters would be with me, put on the pants, yadda yadda. I had a sudden impulse to cast a spell on the paper. I gripped each side firmly and tore it in half. The halves grew back into full sheets of paper. Smirking, I repeated the process until I had five copies of the note. I walked back into the bedroom and placed one note on each of the mare’s faces.

“We can go now.” I said. “Stick close to me. Don’t worry about the humans. They won’t pay attention to us, so long as we don’t make a scene.” She nodded and we left the house. I looked around, trying to piece together where I was. We were pretty close to town, we could get to my apartment in 10 minutes. We made our way into town, Fluttershy close behind. We were silent for the entire trip. We stopped in front of my building, where there were an ambulance and two police cars. Something was wrong.

“What happened?” I asked the paramedic.

“Two guys just got brutalized by someone in this building.”

“Who is it?” I said, walking to the back of the ambulance. I was shocked to see Matthew and Patrick laying, faces bruised and bloody, in a gurney. “What happened?!”

“Chris! You’re alive!” yelled a voice from behind me. I turned around and saw Robert in handcuffs being escorted by the police.

“Robert! What did you do?!”I shouted.

“I won!” he yelled manically.

“Oh no! You’re going to jail!”

“And when I get out, I’m going right back in because I’m gonna murder you!”

“Who was that?” asked Fluttershy.

“One of my friends. Let’s go talk to Isaiah.” I said, stepping inside. I went to my apartment and knocked on the door. I had left my keys in Equestria. The door swung open and Isaiah yanked me in by the arm. I grabbed Fluttershy and brung her in with me.

“Chris, you jackass!” said Isaiah angrily.

“What?!” I asked. “What did I do?”

“You disappeared for a week, Mat came in a little while ago saying he stabbed you, Robert beat their faces in, we both thought you were dead, and you TOOK MY PANTS!” he yelled.

“Relax! It wasn’t my fault! See, I was-”

“You left us for a week to go screw around with this skank, didn’t you?” he said, pointing to Fluttershy. Her eyes began to tear up and I got really pissed.

“Don’t talk to Fluttershy like that!” I yelled bitterly.

“What are you talking about? Where were you?”

“I went to Equestria. I know that doesn’t make sense, but it’s true. I need you to come with us.”

“I’m not going anywhere until you explain where you were.”

“We don’t have time for this. Just come on! Why are you so stubborn?” I felt something protruding from my back. I ignored it, trying to get Isaiah to agree to come with us. “We need to go! This is important!” My fists were opening and closing, but my hands were balled up.

“C-chris. You have wings.” said Isaiah. I looked over my shoulder and saw my wings spreading out. Huh. Guess I have to focus to keep my form. I concentrated and felt my wings suck into my back.

“See? I need you to come with us. I’ll explain when we get there.” I said, grabbing him by the wrist. We left the apartment and ran back to the base. When we got there, I began to explain.

“Discord, Sunset, Chrysalis, and Sombra are attacking Earth and Princess Celestia sent the Mane Six to come help us take them down. In the bedroom are the Six. They’re probably still unconscious. So, now we are going to bail Robert out of prison, then we’ll try to get you guy’s under the Chameleon Effect. That’s what transforms us. Then we’ll train some and start our attack.” I said.

“You have wings.” said Isaiah stupidly.

“I know! Isn’t it cool?!” I said, forgetting myself. “Come on. Let’s go check on the mares.” I knocked on the bedroom door and heard a bright, “Come in!”. I opened the door and walked in with Fluttershy and Isaiah right behind me. Sitting on each of the beds was the Six, but not quite the Six. They were obviously them, but human. They were about a foot shorter, had skin a little lighter than the color of their fur, and their faces receded into a normal human face.

“Isaiah, this is Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity. Oh, and you already met Fluttershy.” I said resentfully. “Girls, this is Isaiah.”

“What happened to our faces?” asked Rarity. “This is hideous! My muzzle is gone, I’m short, and what happened to my coat?!”

“Relax, Rarity. You’re a human now. You’ll be able to change back later.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have two friends?” asked Twilight.

“I do, but he’s in jail now.”

“What?! What did he do?!”

“He beat up the guys who stabbed me. But it’s ok, we can go bail him out with the money Princess Celestia gave us. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“These are the Mane Six.” said Isaiah. “Rarity, and Applejack, and Pinkie, and Rainbow Dash, and T-twilight Sparkle.”

“Yes. I need you to go bail Robert out of jail. Twilight, will you go with him? The rest of us can go take a look around. Maybe there are some changelings around.”

“Ok. Isaiah, right? On our way, you have to tell me about Earth. It seems like a very fascinating place” said Twilight with fascination.

“Ok. Where’s the… money… for bail?” asked Isaiah, staring at Twilight. I tossed him the sack and he pulled out a large wad of bills. He was really good with cash, so I just assumed he grabbed the right amount. They walked out, Isaiah still staring at Twilight. I threw her a silent, “I’m sorry.” and gathered the girls up.

“Ok gals. We are looking for changelings. I have nothing to reveal their disguises. I have no way to distinguish a changeling from a human. So… yeah, let’s just hope that one is dumb enough to reveal itself.”

“Good plan.” said RD sarcastically.

“Well, I’m sure I’ll figure something out. The spell is still working. I’ll get an impulse.” I said, leaving the house. The girls followed me and we patrolled the surrounding area. We stood close to one another, scouting the area for enemy forces. We got absolutely nothing. After two hours, we called it quits and returned to base. As soon as we got in there, someone kicked in the door.

“Someone better tell me what’s going on here! Chris, you have two minutes to explain before I rip out your throat!” shouted Robert angrily. His normally pale, white face was beet red with fury. Uh-oh.

“Mat stabbed me, I woke up in Equestria, this is the Mane Six, Princess Celestia called for me to help, there’s a war, Discord, Sombra, Chrysalis, Sunset Shimmer, changelings, fight, help, I have wings!” I said panickedly. I quickly revealed my wings to show him.

“You live. For now. One more time: What the hell happened!” I sat down and explained the whole ordeal to him. He sat there silently and unsmiling, two things that are not normally attributed with Robert.

“And now I’m going to try to do some apparently painful magic that will allow you to become a pony.” I finished.

“What are you waiting for?” he asked.

“I’m waiting to see if you are going to brutally murder me. Since that doesn’t seem to be happening, I’ll begin. Isaiah, if you could please stand next to Robert, there you go.” I said. What now? Got it. “Girls, please surround them and join hands.” They did as I instructed and left me with another “What now?” moment. Without thinking, I flew up above them and flung my hands downward, channeling my Equestrian energy right down onto Robert and Isaiah. Their bodies slowly grew fur, Robert’s jet-black, Isaiah’s pure white. My friends grew two feet taller than they were before. Robert’s mane grew out of his head, blood-red and messy, while Isaiah’s was ginger, long and flowing. Out of Isaiah’s mane protruded a long white horn. Robert’s eyes went from pale blue to a deep, dark red, like his mane. Isaiah’s eyes went from carmel brown to emerald-green. Isaiah collapsed on the spot, while Robert dropped to one knee.

“That’s all? Please… sir… may I have another?” gasped Robert, rising to his hooves. “I’ll put Isaiah in bed. Where?”

“Down the hall, third door on the right.” I said, fluttering to the ground exhausted. That was a lot of work. Good thing I would never have to do that again. Robert flung Isaiah over his shoulder like he was nothing. He left our sight with heavy footfalls. So now we had 3 unicorns, 3 pegasi, and 3 Earth ponies. That’s good. Balanced.

“That worked.” said Aj.

“Sure did. Now I think we should go to the armory and get you guys weapons. I think it’s downstairs.” I said, pointing to the corner of the room. I walked over and pulled open a hidden trapdoor which unfolded into a ladder. I slid down and took in the sight. A wall of swords and firearms, targets, ammo caches, practice dummies. You name it, we had it. We even had a bunker to test explosives.

“Let’s assign each of you one melee weapon and one firearm to carry around.” I said, gesturing to let them take their pick. They floated around the room, inspecting each weapon until they found one for them. Aj was the first to decide on an Olympia double barrell shotgun and broadsword. She immediately began to practice. Next was Twilight with a 9mm pistol with a rapier. Then Rarity (a M14 rifle and a curved, black shortsword.), Robert, who had come to join us (A lever-action shotgun and a giant war hammer), and Pinkie who had grabbed a nifty modified M16 that shot explosive rounds. We had trouble finding a suitable melee for her.

“How about this scalpel?” she asked brightly.

“No!” I said, snatching it from her. “Where’d you even get that?”

“Ooo. How about a hacksaw? Why is it called a hacksaw anyway? You don’t hack with it, you just s-”

“No hacksaws! Here, take this bowie knife.” I said, handing her the sheathed blade.

“Hey! That was mine!” yelled Dash.

“I’ll find you something else.” I said. I found her dual M1911 pistols and handed her a long bladed stiletto knife, which seemed to satisfy her. We had a right trouble getting Fluttershy to take a weapon of any kind, but eventually got her to use a cutlass and P90 submachine gun.

“Don’t I get a toy?” asked a voice from the ladder. Down stepped Isaiah, apparently unphased by his sudden transformation. Without asking what was happening, he walked right up to two crossed katanas and grabbed them. Then he levitated a sniper rifle (L96a1) into his hand and placed it over his shoulder. “Let’s get cracking.” he said with a grin.