New Batteries for Celestia

by Thunder Song

Wrong Winds

On Sunday morning, Luna woke up to the sound of excited chatter outside in the streets. Faust had returned. Luna had only seen Faust once, but she remembered how terrible her humour was. She had pretended a pony, Princess Batterram, was real and that if Luna was related to her, Luna wouldn’t get a mane. Luna had never even heard of the pony, and when Faust had shown Luna her family tree, Batterram was apparently her great, great grandma. Only when she had asked why Celestia got a mane if she was related to Batterram did Faust reply…

“You’re too clever for your own good, Luney. I was only trying to have some fun.” Faust had replied, crocodile tears rolling down her face. At this point, Luna had lost her temper and had to get her ethereal winds another day, because apparently, “Princesses who throw tantrums are not allowed magical enchanted manes”.

Faust was a tall, white, high alicorn with huge feet, eyes and wings. She had big eyelashes and a dark red, straight mane. Her eyelashes were caked in mascara.

When Faust eventually got to the hospital, as she usually did to see the sick and injured so they could welcome her back, she saw Celestia awake in bed, bandages on her hooves, head and legs. Before she got to Celestia, however, who was at the back of the ward, she had to get through the other ponies.

“Love Letter! How did you enjoy robbing the Ponyville bank?” she asked. Everypony gasped (including Love Letter), before Faust smacked her forehead and said “Oops! Sorry, I’m thinking about Love Coin! So many ponies these days…” she then grinned and moved on. When Shea Butter, Lilac Laces, Camo Heart, Evergreen, Bowtie and Swashbuckle had had their turns, Faust finally turned towards Celestia.

“My goodness! I’ve heard about what happened! Did it hurt? What about your mane?” Faust looked very surprised.

“Well…” Celestia started, remembering her first experience with Faust…

She had pretended a pony, Princess Batterram, was real and that if Celestia was related to her, Celestia wouldn’t get a mane. Celestia had never even heard of the pony, and when Faust had shown Celestia her family tree, Batterram was apparently her great, great grandma. Only when she had asked why Faust’s horn had glowed when Batterram appeared on the family tree if she didn’t magic her there did Faust reply.

“You’re too clever for your own good, Celly. I was only trying to have some fun.” Faust had replied, crocodile tears rolling down her face. At this point, Celestia had lost her temper and had to get her ethereal winds another day, because apparently, “Princesses who throw tantrums are not allowed magical enchanted manes”.

“Well. Could I get an ethereal wind? It seems to have blown away.” Celestia hopefully asked.

Faust replied, “It goes away every three years so I can check whether you are still being a good princess.”

Confused, Celestia asked, “How come I haven’t lost it before? I have been a princess for ages!”

At this, Faust smiled. “Because it only disappears if I can remember you. I forgot all about the Itsy Bitsy Lickle Sunny Pwincessy. Oops.” Faust smirked down at Celestia.

“YOU!” Celestia shouted, but a zap from Faust silenced her.

“It’s okay. I’ll give you your wind back as you have stayed being a good princess.” Faust smiled, for once a genuine smile, and cast a spell on Celestia. Celestia, however, did not feel the magic engulf her and warm her up like when she got her first wind all those years ago.

When she looked at her tail, it had turned brown and soggy.

“Coffee wind?!” Shrieked Celestia.

“All the rage.” Faust grinned, but closed her eyes and cast another spell at Celestia.

This time, she felt the magic engulf her body, twisting around her, like vines, but more magical and less dangerous. When Celestia looked behind her, her white coat was blowing in a strong gale.

“That’s not how you do it, Fausty Wowsty! You’re meant to enchant my mane and tail.” Celestia said, smirking.

“FAUST!” cried Faust. “Anyway, Cello Bello,” Celestia frowned, “You never said where to apply it!”

“Yeah, well, I’d like it on my mane and tail, please.” Celestia said curtly.

“Fine. I’ll do that, then.” Faust smirked. It seemed to be her main expression.

“Okay. Do that then.”

“I will.”

“Are you actually gonna do it?” Celestia asked, faintly annoyed.

“Yes.”

“You can start…” Celestia told the smirking pony. Her anger was building up.

“I know.” Faust was being difficult on purpose, and she was enjoying it, though she actually had to give Celestia her mane winds. Closing her eyes, holding her breath, she concentrated on creating a wind, an ethereal wind. As she let her breath go, she watched as a shimmering, rainbow, ghost-like wind floated towards Celestia and whipped around her body, before reaching the mane and tail. Celestia watched as her tail was raised into the air and began to be blown around gently, in a forever breeze.

“Beauti-” Celestia began, but quickly changed. She didn’t want Faust to get any satisfaction.

“Nice. Thanks. At least I can leave this place, now. Seeya…in three years!!” With that, Celestia flapped her wings and flew out of the hospital door, chucking her bandages behind her.