Such Horrible Things

by dramatic_spoon

The Next Surprise

“Do we have to?” Cumulus whined.

“Yes,” Stratos replied, “Aunty Applebloom said it was going to be really scary this time.”

“...I hate scary things,” Cumulus muttered, “You’ll protect me, right Tempy?”

“Your brother is probably just going to hid behind me like last time,” she responded as the others snickered.

“...It was only one time,” He muttered as Cumulus turned to look at Fireburst.

“You’ll protect me, right Bursty?”

“...I guess,” the hybrid muttered.

“....Who’s in charge of it this year?” Ribbon asked, “Is it Miss Ditzy again?”

“No.”

The group paused in front of the town hall, looking up at the building: Cheesy paper bats, ghost with goofy grins, and smiling pumpkins stared back at them. A stallion glanced over at them and grinned. Rumble trotted over, dressed in a garish orange suit jacket, ruffled undercoat, and fluffy ascot. A Lopsided Green top hat sat perched on his ruffled, messy mane.

“Hey kids,” He greeted them, “Here for the haunted house?”

“Is it really scary, Uncle Rumble?” Ribbon asked.

Rumble paused, “Well…”

“Rumble!” Diamond Tiara suddenly appeared next to the colt. A golden crown sat perched on her head, her dress, patterned in red and blacks and in one hoof she held a scepter, decorated with Hearts. She tapped her
“No spoiling it for the children.”

“Sorry, DT.”

“Miss Tiara?” Ribbon continued on.

“Yes?”

“If you’re the Queen of Hearts, why is Uncle Rumble the Mad Hatter?”

“Because Applebloom and Oareb were supposed to be the Hatter and the White Rabbit, but he didn’t get the idea and did something else,” Diamond Tiara grumbled, “So Rumble had to be the Hatter.”

“Anyway, enough about that,” Rumble ignored his marefriend, “Ready for the haunted house?”

“Yes!” the group nodded in agreement, while Cumulus shook her head furiously. Temporal shrugged.

“Then here you go!” Rumble pushed open the door.

“Wait,” Diamond Tiara held out a hoof, “No weapons. Not after what happened last year.”

“What happened last year?” Rumble asked.

“Stratos screamed and swung his bat at Lickity Split and broke his nose.”

“...Oh.” Rumble paused, “Yeah, sorry kids.”

Stratos and Cumulus handed over their fake hammer and wand to Diamond Tiara.

“Alright, have fun kids,” the mare smiled, sinisterly.

Rumbled herded the group into the house and closed the door behind them. They all glanced around the room: Fake skeletons, pumpkins, plastic bats and fake spiders stared back as they trotted towards a table in the middle of the room. A single serving platter with a silver lid sat on the table.

“...Someone’s under there,” Temporal whispered as she pointed at the dish.

“...You sure?”

“Watch.”

The mare snuck over, silently. She raised a hoof and smacked it on the platter, creating a loud ringing noise.

“Hey!” a voice called out. The lid flew off, revealing Snips’ head, his face painted up to look like a skeleton. Ribbon gasped, tightening her grip on Golden Breeze.

“You’re not supposed to do that, kid.” Snips scolded Temporal. The filly shrugged.

“How come you’re under a table, Mr. Snips?” Fireburst asked.

“It’s part of the surprise, kid.” Snips sighed, “You guys come in, nervous and uncertain what’s going to happen. Then I,” he paused as his magic aura engulfed the lid, “Send this thing flying and scare you guys.”

“...That would be really scary,” Stratos stated. The others nodded their heads in agreement.

“Well It’s spoiled now,” the stallion sighed, bringing the lid back over his head, “So go on over to the next room.”

The lid slammed shut. Stratos glanced at the others.

“I guess we should go?”

The group trotted through the doorway, and entered the next room. Bright lights glared and loud music blared as they looked around: Red cloth covered everything in the room, as paper skeletons stared back at them. A table sat in the middle of the room, with dinner plates and candles set up.

“It’s...It’s more like a party.” Ribbon relaxed slightly.

“...That’s weird.”

“WELCOME!” A mare’s voice called out, startling everyone. A unicorn mare slinked out of another room: her makeup was done up giving her the appearance of a skeleton. Her mane was dyed black and hidden beneath her massive sombrero. An elegant red dress draped around her, hiding her back legs and cutie mark.

“Welcome children,” the mare smiled, “Please have a seat; you’re just in time for a meal.”

Stratos and Temporal Spectrum glanced at each other.

“You’re not gonna eat us, are you?” Cumulus asked, “Eat Cream Pie first, he probably taste good.”

“Hey.”

“Eat you?” the mare paused for a moment, before throwing her head back, “Ohohohohoho, child, I have no intention of doing anything like that.”
Cumulus relaxed.
“Besides, none of your friends will make a good meal. Now please, be seated.”

the foals nervously took their seats as the mare strutted around the table.

“No hats at the table, I’m certain your mothers taught you that,” she scolded the colts. Stratos, Golden Breeze and Fireburst took their headgear off and set it down on the side.
“Now then, the meal can begin.”

“I ate a bunch of zap apples, so I ain’t hungry, can I be excused?”

“No. No one is to be excused from the table until the meal is over.” The mare sat at the head of the table.
“First, an appetizer.”

She clapped her hooves together. Small plates suddenly appeared on the tables, in front of all the foals. Cumulus poked at the object on the plate: a small tightly wrapped burrito, smothered in rich brown sauce.

“What is it?”

“Escamol Burrito,” the mare replied, “It’s good for you.”

The ponies glanced at each other as Cumulus picked up her burrito and took a bite of it.

“It’sh good.” She told the others while chewing.

the other ponies, save Temporal followed suit, biting into their own burritos and eating it.

“What’s Escamol?” Cumulus asked through another mouthful of burrito.

“Ant eggs.”

Everyone paused, midchew. Nearly everyone spat their burrito back out, onto the plates. Fireburst shrugged and kept on eating his. Cumulus pushed her plate at the young hybrid.

“You eat it.”

Fireburst shrugged and stuffed her burrito into his mouth. The mare shook her head and tutted.

“Have you no manners? But I shall forgive you as we move on to the next course.”

The mare clapped her hooves again. A massive platter appeared in the middle of the table, it’s contents hidden by an equally huge cover. The mare smiled as the foals stared at it, dumbfounded.

“And for your main course…”

The cover vanished, revealing another pony laying on it: His feet bound together, an apple stuffed into his mouth. He appeared to be bald, and his flesh appeared to be a dark brown color as if he had been cooked. As the group stared at him in slack jawed horror, the apparently roasted pony opened his eyes.

“Oh…” the mare trailed off, “Meatloaf again.”

The group screamed and knocked over their chairs in their haste to get out of the room. Only Temporal stayed behind.

“...Miss Zipporwhill?” Temporal looked at the mare.

“What?” She reeled back in mock horror, “I am not…” she trailed off under Temporal’s glare.
“Yes, Temp?”

“Is this really ant eggs?”

“No, it’s rice mixed with cottage cheese, a little butter and ground up peanuts for flavor,” Zipporwhill sighed, “I wanted to use real ant eggs, but the others said no. Real Escamol taste wonderful. Anyway, you better catch up to your friends. I need to get this place set up again for the next group.”

Temporal got out of her chair and trotted down the hallway and into the next room. There, Ribbon, Golden Breeze, Stratos and Cream Pie clung to each other for protection, while Cumulus watched Fireburst eat another burrito.

“You brought it with you?”

“It’s good,” He responded as he finished it off.

“What room is this now?” Temporal asked the others.

“No idea.”

The lights sprang to life, revealing skeletons lying around the room, all dressed in tuxedos, gowns and other wedding outfits. Ribbon’s grip tightened around Breeze. Everyone froze at the sound of beating wings within the room.

“Stop that,” Ribbon scolded Breeze.

“It’s not me.”

“Not me.” Stratos shook his head.

“Nuh-uh.” Cumulus agreed.

The sound of beating wings grew louder and grew closer to the group. Cumulus rushed over to cower next to her brother, while Fireburst joined her.

THUMP!

Something crashed to the ground behind the group. Stratos and Breeze screamed as the group whirled around to look at what fell: a vaguely pony shaped lump, covered in an all encompassing bed sheet ghost costume.

“Is that a real pony?” Cream Pie asked as he nudged Stratos, “Go check.”

“Why do I have to check?”

“ ‘Cause you’re the oldest one here.” the unicorn countered.

“I’ll do it,” Temporal stepped over to the lump and yanked the bed sheet off: a fake pony skeleton stared back at them, it’s mouth contorted into a grin.

“See?”

THUMP!

Something crashed to the ground behind the group again. The ponies whirled around, and found another sprawled out pony-shaped lump, clad in a wedding dress. To the horror of the group, the lump slowly stumbled onto it’s hooves, it’s face still hidden by the wedding veil.
Suddenly, the veil was ripped off, revealing a blood splattered face and mouth filled with jagged teeth. The mare roared as nearly the entire group screamed in terror. Temporal sighed.

“Hi mom.”

Dash’s demeanor shifted from terrifying to completely annoyed as the mare frowned at her daughter.

“Kid, you’re supposed to be scared, not going all Maud Pie on us.”

“Mom, I saw you leave the house, I know what costume you’re wearing.”

Dash slumped, disappointed.

“You’re no fun. Well that’s it, kids, better head on out and get your stuff. You still got the corn maze, don’t you?”

“Uh-huh,” Stratos nodded, “Bye!”

He rushed out of the room, followed by Breeze, Ribbon and Cream Pie. Cumulus looked back at Rainbow Dash as she picked up the bed sheet ghost mannequin.

“Aunty Rainbow? Were those really ant egg burritos?”

“Can’t tell you that,” the mare grinned wickedly as she fluttered back towards the ceiling.

“Let’s go,” Temporal sighed and followed the others. Cumulus and Fireburst followed after her.

Comments

[dramatic_spoon]

The Haunted house is always a must have, isn't it?

Rumble and Diamond Tiara are, obviously the Mad Hatter and Queen of Hearts.
Lickity Split was already mentioned as Silver Spoon's colt friend in Across the Multiverse...and that sounds like it's going to have a really weird shipname.

I went around looking for an appropriate pony to serve as La Calavera Catrina/La Muerte/Santa Muerte, as more-or-less depicted in The Book of Life.
I was almost going to go with Tootsie Flute, but settled on Zipporwhill after double checking the MLP wiki, where it claims she has a slight Latin American accent.

[SageBrony07]

This was a lot of fun to read. Great job. Good luck with the next chapter. I love learning about all the kids and the costumes their parents are wearing.

[Pontiac56]

I really like Temporal. She's got her Dad's brains and her Mum's bravery for sure. Nothing in the house even fazed her. She's definitely a good combination of Turner and Dash right there. She's an excellent OC