Epiphany

by KalenNighteyes

Epiphany, Part Three

Twilight

Confusion. That was the eye in the storm of emotions that were coursing through me. I had let my hurt and frustration out on Sunset who had been so sweet and kind to me last night. I was starting to feel like it would have been better if I hadn’t come here at all. It only served to make things worse for me and, inadvertently, Sunset.

I hadn’t been paying much attention to just how far I’d gone until Canterlot High came into view and the portal back to Equestria. For a moment, I considered just running through it and not coming back, but I knew that wouldn’t solve anything. It would only make everything worse if I left and never came back. Besides, I could never do that to my friends here. Instead I decided to sit down on the cool ground and lean against the marble statue.

Though it was still light outside, the clouds had moved in and made things a bit more dim than they had been earlier in the day. The grey hue the world had taken on seemed to reflect my mood perfectly, which didn’t help to make anything better. I could also feel that the temperature dropped slightly and could smell the coming rain. Of course, the cold I was feeling didn’t last for long. I could feel the warmth of the anger I was feeling at myself rising. I hated myself because I felt like I had led Sunset on in believing she and I could actually get together. I was stupid to think that the pain from my heartbreak over Rainbow could be pushed away so easily. Now I’ve hurt the one person who showed me compassion, understanding, and comforted me while I was sad.

Drawing my knees up to my chest, I wrapped my arms around them and sighed. Sunset was only being supportive and had even said that we could work through this together. However, it really felt that there was no end in sight to the pain I was feeling. I just didn't want to give her false hope if there really was no getting through it. She should be able to move on with her life and find someone more worthy of her than me to be with her.

As I sat there degrading and feeling sorry for myself, an unexpected sound and sight pulled me out of it. Rainbow Dash came flying out of the portal landing hard on the ground.

“Ow...” she groaned, attempting to get up on her feet, which she failed miserably at doing. “Ugh! How does Twi manage this when she's here?”

I looked at her confusedly. “It just takes a bit of practice,” I said as I stood and walked over to Rainbow to help her up.

With a grunt, the now rainbow-haired girl managed to get to her feet, bracing herself on me to get her balance. “Hey! I'm glad I didn't have to go far to find you. I thought it'd take me forever to get to you!”

I shook my head and turned back to the statue. “Nope. I was sitting there thinking about things...”

Though she was wobbly, Rainbow walked around in front of me and looked me in the eyes. “I know why you're here, Twilight. I know it probably doesn't mean much right now, but I'm sorry.”

I returned her gaze with a somewhat cold look in my eyes. “You know why I'm here, huh?” I ignored her apology. I wasn't ready to hear that from her. “I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Fluttershy is easy to get secrets from, but I don't know how you found out she knew.” I shook my head slowly. “It doesn't matter. It isn't her fault. Why don't you tell me what she told you?”

Rainbow cocked an eyebrow at me. “She told me everything, Twi. I didn't know you felt that way about me. I hope you know that I'd never intentionally hurt you.”

The coldness in my eyes didn't fade. “I know that, but I am hurting and now it's affecting things with Sunset.”

Rainbow's expression changed to a smile. “So, you figured it out finally!” After a moment, her smile faded, seemingly because she understood now. “Wait, are you mad at me?”

“I didn't want to be so blunt, but yes. I'm angry with you. I know I shouldn't be and I hate myself for it.” I looked down and shook my head. “I hate myself for a lot of things right now. Being angry with you feels like the only way I can cope,” I said, looking up at her again.

“Why are you angry with me? Because I got with AJ instead of you?” Rainbow asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice.

I felt heat rush into my cheeks as she spoke the words. “Not so much that anymore, actually. Try the fact that I just found out Sunset has feelings for me! Last night we had a perfect evening. I started feeling that I might feel the same way about her. I even told her that!” The fact I had begun to shout never even occurred to me. I was just too upset to notice and it felt good to get this out at the person who caused me to feel this way. “When I went to sleep I started having dreams about being rejected over and over again by you. It made me feel like I was only leading Sunset on. I mean...I know the feelings I have for her are real, but I can't be with her because I just can't seem to shake this hurt and my feelings for you!”

Rainbow shifted uncomfortably, then moved to the statue and sat down by it. “Sorry. I'm just tired of standing up like that.”

When I saw how she reacted, I felt bad for one more thing, but it had felt good to get it off my chest. After a moment of contemplation, I went and sat down across from her. “Look, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that, and I know it, but I'm just so confused.”

She nodded slowly. “Listen Twilight. I'm not good at this whole...comforting thing but I'm gonna give it a try. I think what happened – why you didn't say anything to me – is that you were hooked more by the idea of being with me. I think that's still the problem. You're just too hooked on the idea and it's pushing out the feelings you say you have for Sunset Shimmer.”

As she said those words, I cast my gaze to the ground. “I already know that,” I said as I reached into my skirt pocket and pulled out the Wonderbolts pin and handed it to Rainbow.

She chuckled as she took the pin. “I remember that day. It was a lot of fun.”

I nodded, wiping a tear from my cheek. “It was.” I looked back at her after that. “What am I supposed to do, Dashie?” If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was suppressing tears as I sat there looking at her, but I wasn't sure.

“You have to move on. I'm with Applejack and that's not going to change no matter how much you want to.”

Her words cut deep. More tears came streaming down my cheeks. “I know I do. I owe it to Sunset.” I tried to wipe the tears away, but they kept falling, but despite the tears I let out a cynical chuckle. “She told me she would wait and even said that she'd help me through this, but I still got angry and ran out on her. How will she forgive me after that?”

“Don't take this the wrong way, Twilight, but for someone so smart, you can sure be a dummy when it comes to certain things,” she said, poking me in the forehead gently.

Before I could blurt out a retort, she reached into a bag I hadn't noticed she brought with her. Out of it, she produced the book Sunset and I used to send messages to one another. “Rainbow, how did you get that? I had it hidden away.”

Rainbow chuckled. “Hiding something under your mattress isn't a very good hiding spot.” She shook her head. “That doesn't matter anyway. I have a couple things to show you,” she said as she began flipping through the book.

“I already know everything that's in there, Dash. I still don't understand why you brought it.”

She pushed the book at me and pointed to a message from Sunset. “At first it was to show you that Sunset had feelings for you, but now it's about proving to you that she cares, even if you did get mad at her and run off.”

With a sigh I decided to listen to what Rainbow was saying and I read the message.

Dear Twilight,

I was thinking about you today. It was triggered when I saw Adagio in passing as I was walking home. She avoided me like I was the plague, but it still made me think of when you showed me at the Battle of the Bands that I was needed. I'm not sure I said it then, so I'll say it now. Thank you for believing in me when it felt like no one else did. It meant a lot to me and it still does. The fact you showed me that kind of trust made me feel so good. Thank you again. Gotta go now, will write you more later. Take care!

Yours,
Sunset

I gave a small smile as I read the message. “There's nothing that will ever make me not believe in her. She's strong and I knew she could be great. She more than proved it that day.”

Rainbow pulled the book back to her and began to flip through the pages some more. “You know, there have been a lot of times she's asked you to come here and hang out with just her,” she said, handing me the book again.

I nodded slowly. “I know, but I was always just too busy to get away.”

“Oh come on! That isn't true and you know it. Somewhere in that big brain of yours you know that's a load of crap!”

I looked up at her incredulously. “Excuse me? You know my title and what we had to deal with.”

“Just read.”

I could feel the heat in my cheeks again, but I did as she said and read.

Dear Twilight,

Missing you a lot today. I'm having another one of those moments where I'm feeling out of place among our friends here. I'm glad I have this book so I can have your guidance on these situations. I was wondering if you could possibly spare a day to get away and come here? I figure just the two of us could go to Sugar Cube Corner, get a coffee, and talk. If you can't, I totally understand as I know you're really busy with the map you mentioned a while ago. Anyway, I should go now. I hope to hear from you soon.

Yours,
Sunset

“It's like she said, Rainbow...The map-”

“The map wasn't an issue all the time. Especially when it was Pinkie and I you used as an excuse not to go. It was the mission to Griffonstone. You didn't need to spend all that time doing research and collecting data for us. We could have found out all of that when we got there,” she said.

I looked at my response to Sunset. Sure enough I had used the map as an excuse. Again. Wanting to prove Rainbow wrong, I began flipping through the book and looking at most of those messages since the map appeared. However, I came up with nothing. It was excuse after excuse.

“See what I mean?” she asked.

I slammed the book shut. Even after all the excuses, Sunset had still held onto her feelings for me. “And you think, based on the fact that she still had feelings for me after all the excuses, that she'll forgive me?”

Rainbow gave me a big grin. “I'm sure she will! You're all sorts of awesome. Especially with how much the two of you have in common!”

I put my hand up to my head as the events from earlier played through my mind again. “I screwed up so bad. We had such a wonderful moment last night where she was teaching me how to play the guitar. She even sang one of her favorite songs to me.” The next memory made me blush. “We fell asleep in each other’s arms. Things couldn't have been more perfect.”

Standing up, I walked a few feet away from my friend and sighed. “When the dreams came...I started doubting my feelings for her. Then, in the morning, she told me the girls were coming over and that just made things worse. I couldn't stop thinking about you and the pain I was in. After that, Sunset and I got into an argument and then I ran out.”

I looked to Rainbow, who had stood up and walked over beside me. “So, you feel like you sent mixed signals and led her on. You mentioned that before.”

“Exactly. Why would she forgive me?”

Rainbow shook her head. “I can't answer that, Twi, I'm not Sunset Shimmer. And, you know, as much as I'd like to stay and see how things turn out, I have gotta get back. I didn't exactly tell anypony that I was coming here. Fluttershy spilled the beans and I kinda just rushed here.”

She gave me a one armed hug then put the book back into the bag she brought with her. “You'll figure this out, Twilight. You always do.” And with one final hug, Rainbow waved to me, then moved through the portal and back into Equestria.

I stood there for a moment contemplating the conversation we had just had. Whether or not Sunset would actually be willing to forgive me, I needed to go back and talk to her. With a deep breath I turned my back to the statue and began walking back to Sunset’s loft as the rain began to fall.

Author's Note:

Part three finally. It's about six days and, oh, one year later. I apologize for the LONG wait for some of you. If you hung around, I really appreciate it! Thanks so much for reading. Stay tuned for Part Four!

Comments

[ratedoni]

Well, now I have to read from the beginning to know what the hell was going on, but there are worst things to do in a Sunday night.

[KalenNighteyes]

7630952

I'm glad you liked Part Three and hope you like the others! More to come!

[livinthelife]

Okay, so Rainbow and her weren't dating. Her trying to jump into a relationship with Sunset's a lot less iffy now.

[MrAskAPirate]

Holy sheeeet it's been so long I thought the story was dead as a doornail; I didn't even have it on my 'tracking' bookshelf anymore,

Glad to see it (and you) back in action!

[KalenNighteyes]

7631619

Totally! I was really excited to finally get this new chapter up for people to read! This story was one I really liked to write on so it was never dead. It just...took me a while to get Part Three right I hope you enjoy/enjoyed reading it!

[X 865]

Wait. Doesn't Twilight's book need to be in the machine she built back in Equestria in order for the mirror to work?

[KalenNighteyes]

7631732

It's not really clear to be honest. I figured once she took some of the power from it, the machine may only have needed to be recharged to keep the portal open rather than the book always needing to be there. I think since it's never said, ultimately it's up to writer's discretion

[X 865]

7631800 Fair enough.

[Ggunsailor]

Boy, Rainbow Dash actually made sense. Now go get your girl, Twily!