Starlight

by ThePrinceOfTheNorth

Chapter 4: A Moment's Peace

I couldn't sleep. Despite my best efforts to try, I just couldn't. There was something....nagging at the back of my mind. So, being as quite as possible, I rose from my bed, and made my way outside, being sure not to wake Teacup.

The night air was chilly, and I'd left my quilt in the cabin, but, for some reason, I didn't feel the cold of the breeze blowing through my fur. It felt instead a warm embrace, one that wrapped itself around me completely. It was odd, though. It felt odd. I felt odd....different than I usually felt, or have ever felt before. I felt....stronger. As a human, I had been scrawny and weak. Now, as a pony, no, as Starlight, I felt confident. Strong. Fearless. But this feeling was of greater strength. It was then I noticed it.

The sky was clear, and the stars above shone like diamonds scattered across a canvas of black. The light of the moon shone down upon me like the sun, it's brilliance almost blinding, and yet I just looked on in awe. It felt....different. Before now, I had felt nothing when the light of the moon had shone on me. Now, with the moon's gleaming light shining down on me, I felt....even stronger, like I had nothing left to worry about. In that moment, all my worries just melted away. I closed my eyes, wanting to revel in this feeling for as long as I could, for it was a feeling I had never dreamed of.

But, just like that, the eastern horizon began to brighten, and in but an instant, those feelings; the warmth, the security, all of them vanished, and all the emotions I had been holding back since I woke up came washing forward in a torrent of cries and tears. I hadn't wanted to accept the fact everyone I knew was gone. I missed them, all of them. My mom, my dad, my little sister, my grandparents, my aunties and uncles and cousins....they were probably all gone. All of them. For so long had I said I could not take all of this anymore. It seemed that I finally, at long last, really couldn't, and just cried. All my anger and all my fear poured out, unable to hide or sustain themselves any longer.

I don't know how long I sad there crying, but I must have cried myself to sleep, for I woke up as the sun was setting into the west.

I sat myself up, watching as the sun disappeared, and just sat there until the light faded.

At the moment the light faded, that feeling came back again, far stronger this time. I felt like I really could do anything. I had repressed so much anger....so much hate, sorrow and fear. Now, all that baggage I'd been carrying, some for almost a decade, was gone.

And it felt great.

It felt wonderful.

It felt like I was soaring high in the clouds already, nothing holding me back.

I still didn't know why I felt like I did at night, but what I did know was whatever was making me feel this way, it had freed me; released me from all that had been holding me back, and all that had been stopping me from moving on.

This is a new world. Without the baggage of the old one, I really can start anew.

There is no more John Winter. There is only Starlight Waltz now.

---

Today's July 7th, meaning it's now been 22 days since I woke up.

I walked along the pristine shore of Blue Lake, Teacup close behind me, barking wilding at a flock of gulls.

Oddly, I don't feel the need to sleep last night, so I didn't, and yet, I'm still not tired. I know for sure it's not caffeine, as I rather reluctantly drank the last can of coke late last month. I've decided it's just one more thing on my list of things that I shouldn't question. In this case, though, I'm not going to question it as the answer seemed apparent already. Still, just in case, it's best not to come to final conclusion so early on, as in the case I really don't need to sleep as much anymore, I can get a lot more done.

It'll probably pass, though. It really takes away a feeling of normality, after all. Then again, I used to stay up until the sun came up, so really, this isn't too surprising.

I went over to one of the old play structures. When I was still human, and younger, I'd played here. That seemed like a lifetime ago, and in a way it kinda was. I'm not who I was then anymore. I'm stronger, and more independent.

Now that I had a clear head, I finally found it odd how, so far, I hadn't had much difficulty adapting to my new body. Then I remembered that for most of it I was harnessed to a wagon.

I was starting to enjoy the feeling of the soft sand against my hooves. The feeling was so soothing. It didn't feel like this when I was cantering over wood or stone. Maybe I need to see about making some shoes.....

I shook my head. This a vacation. Stop thinking about stuff, brain. Eugh, why can I never stop thinking?

In response, I just sighed and stared at the water, the waves lapping along the sandy shore, and listened to the birds chirping. It was all so peaceful. Normally, one would hear a car driving down the highway, or immature teens doing something overly stupid. Sure, I used to be a teen, but at least I wasn't one of the immature ones! Still, those thoughts did nothing to take away from the fact. The lack of engines made this feel that much more like a vacation, not some post-apocalyptic hell, which by all means it wasn't, save for the fact I've only found one other pony.

"You think there's anypony else out there, boy," I asked Teacup, to which he hesitantly nodded.

"Yeah, I hope so too," I said, "I hope so too."

Comments

[GITPSilverbolt]

Wait a minute …
Shoes? Collar? Helmet? None of which she'd had on before becoming a pony? Feels stronger in moonlight?!
Nightmare Moon, is that you?

[Dances With Unicorns]

I don't know how long I sad there crying,
I don't know how long I sat there crying,