Preparation
Chapter 5: Preparation
Author’s note: I have done a major revision of chapter 4. So if you have not read a conversation between Big Mac and Fluttershy you need to go back. Thanks and enjoy.
The Best Laid Schemes of Mice and Stallions oft go awry.
Twilight woke up with the plan clearly formed in her mind. “It is so simple, so beautiful. It could work. It would work. Why didn’t I think of it sooner?” She felt amazing. Slightly fuzzy, but amazing nonetheless. The plan was perfect and so simple in execution. She marveled at it.
“How long have I been asleep?” Her legs were stiff and she was still clearing gunk from her eyes. Magically, the curtains flew open and she basked in the light. ”The whole night?” She hadn’t had a full night’s sleep in months. Amazing. No more restless nights, not with benzodiazepine. Things that altered her mental state scared her. But look at what the sleeping pills had done. “I feel perfectly fine. It just shows that it is not always dangerous. When used carefully, mind-affecting spells can be used safely.” And that was the basis of her plan.
All that was left was to carry it out.
You are cordially invited to Twilight Sparkle’s Night of Science.
Location: Ponyville Library
Time: 6:00:00 Standard Equestria Time, December 23
Scheduled events:
Live Music
Astronomical Observations
All-You-Can-Titrate
Dancing
Telescope Calibration
Mathematical Paradoxes
Guess-that-Mold Culture
Apple-Bobbing
Quiet Reading
Ask a Particle Physicist
Trivia Pursuit
Keynote Lecture about the Kelvin-Helmholtz Interaction’s Role in Early Star Formation
Please RSVP to Twilight Sparkle at the Ponyville library
Celestia looked at the plain white scroll with plain black words and realized that Twilight was up to something. This smacked of her last thinly disguised ‘concerned citizen’ letter. ”Parties are a great way to meet ponies, but this ‘party’ will only attract ponies like…”
“Celestia! Celestia! Didst Thou get one too?” The incarnation of night dashed into the room waving a plain white scroll. “Thou didst! I mean, you did! This is great! We cannot wait! Astronomical Observations! Telescope Calibration! And Trivia Pursuit! This should be a detonation! Is that the right wording? This should be a detonation?”
“’This should be a blast’ is more commonly used.”
“I do NOT EVEN know what TRIVIA PURSUIT is! But if it is anything like bobbing FOR APPLES we know it will be TOTALLY THE explosive!” Luna was slipping in and out of the traditional Canterlot voice, and it was giving Celestia a headache.
“Bomb, it will be totally the bomb.” The elder alicorn sighed inwardly, I knew I should never have gotten her 1001 Idioms and Colloquialisms.
“Please tell me we are going! I mean A LECTURE about early STAR formation! Talk ABOUT THE bee’s whiskers!”
Celestia didn’t bother to correct her. Instead she smiled, “I think a royal appearance would be justified. I will tell Twilight we would be delighted to attend. Now you’d best go brush up on your mold culture identification. A lot in the fungal world has changed in 1000 years. You don’t want to be caught unprepared, do you?”
“Thanks! Ohhh, We, I, cannot wait! Titration! Tranquility out!”
“Peace out. Peace out,” Celestia called wearily after her sister, not knowing if she heard. “Peace out, the bomb? I really need to put a stop to this before she wrecks the entire royal appearance.”
She didn’t really mean it. Having Luna back and learning to say things like “peace out” and “it’ll be a blast” filled her with delight. The indigo alicorn tackled everything with a child-like spirit and indefatigable enthusiasm. ”Reminds me of a certain other mare. Speaking of which. I need to… broaden… the scope of this little party. Subtly, of course.”
Spitfire nervously trotted into the throne room. She had met the Princess plenty of times, but was always anxious when around her alone. Everyday formal situations were easy. As captain of the Wonderbolts, she just had to act like she could walk on the clouds, which she could, of course. Brag a bit about her exploits, thank them for complimenting her skills, “It was nothing,” talk about flying, generally be everything ponies expected a captain of the Wonderbolts to be. The public ate that up. But something about the Princess made her think she could see right through it.
“Spitfire, thank you for seeing me.”
That right there. Princesses didn’t thank anypony for seeing them. YOU thanked Princesses for being allowed to see THEM.
“Oh, no problem… your honor.”
YOUR HONOR?! She is a princess not a judge! Despite the horror filling her head at her words she was able to keep a cool expression. Or at least she thought she was.
“Your last show was as spectacular as ever. I especially liked the Gravity Bender, it was most illuminating.”
You have answered exactly this a thousand times. Just say ‘thank you, it was nothing.’
“Thank you, I am glad I de-darked you.” Kill me now. Just kill me now.
“No need to look so tense; I just called you in here to ask a favor. I understand you are about to head back to Manehattan, and was wondering if you could make a stop in Ponyville. Nothing serious - I just want this done with discretion. Can I trust you... Captain?”
Favor? Princesses don’t ask for favors; they give orders. And I am not tense, not at all; this is my ‘nothing-whatsoever-could-possibly-bother-me expression.’ And calling me Captain? She is enjoying this. I just know it!
“Anything for you.”
“I will keep that in mind,” she smiled, and continued, “but for now I just want you to take this to Big Macintosh at Sweet Apple Acres.” She passed over a large, heavy pouch. “Tell him I want his best, and I want it delivered promptly to the Ponyville library by five o’clock on the 23rd. Thank you. I hope I can count on your prudence in this matter. Oh, and tell Twilight that my sister and I would be happy to attend.”
The bag was of course full of bits. She didn’t open it, but the clinking jangle was unmistakable. Maybe I should check out this party on the 23rd Like everypony in Equestria, it seemed, she got an invitation. And also like most, she had discarded it almost immediately.
A night of science? Telescope calibration? Mold identification? Sounds boring. But then she felt the pouch again and thought of its recipient. The big red apple farmer was famous. You went to the rest of the Apple family for apples. You went to him for only one thing. With This many bits, you could buy eighty barrels. She took off and set course for Ponyville. Eighty barrels of Mac’s best? I feel tipsy just thinking about it. Definitely worth checking out.
The Princess smiled. Too easy. Far too easy. Two birds, one seed. Luna was muttering while reading through Mycology for Ponies. Too easy indeed - time for the next move.
“Note: Pon-3 studios will be closed the 23rd – 24th for fungal fumigation. We apologize for the inconvenience.”
-Canterlot Health Advisory
“Way too easy.” True, she had already booked DJ Pon-3 for the party, and so there was technically no need to spray for fungi. Vinyl Scratch would keep her word and not tell a soul about where she was going. Her crew could be trusted, probably. But this way it was a mystery. No pony could help but notice that the club just so happened to be closed on the 23rd. And that all the equipment was being crated up and shipped out. And several first class pegasus-air tickets had been purchased, at the last minute, to Ponyville.
It was almost as hard to miss as the Wonderbolts’ stopping in Ponyville for an extended layover. Or Big Mac beginning to move unmarked barrels to the Ponyville library.
It was a conspiracy. Ponies loved nothing more than a conspiracy. And spraying for fungi never hurt.
“Too easy. Time to let the wildfire spread.”
And spread it did.
Spike was less impressed with the plan. “That sounds like a really bad idea.”
“Nonsense, you will be there monitoring the whole thing.”
“If you say so.”
“This could be my best plan ever! Nothing could possibly go wrong.”
“If you say so.”
“Look, there’s Derpy with the mail! She must be carrying my first RSVP’s! I cannot wait! That’s funny, I’ve never seen her use a cart before. Several carts?”
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This chapter gave me a good laugh and that party sounds like it will be the cat's pajama's.
Luna with the slang is best Luna!
great chapter!! loved Luna and her slang
sounds like its gunna be one epic nite in the library
Let's see..a scheming Celestia, hilarious Luna, Spitfire, and Trivia Pursuit. I don't think this chapter could get any better.
Can't wait for the next update.
What exactly does this line mean: This smacked of her last letter? It very well could not be an error, but...it made no sense to me. Just pointing out one minor thing. Oh, and what about this one: She had met the Princess plenty of times but was always anxious alone around her.? That "anxious alone" just sounds weird. Wouldn't it better said as: "She had met the Princess plenty of times, but always got anxious when she was alone with her" or something like that? Oh, and...sorry, yet another line that was weird: ”You have answered exactly this a thousand times." Wouldn't saying, "You have answered this exact question a thousand times" or something work a bit smoother?
The chapter itself was both funny, insightful, and once again slightly confusing. I loved Luna and how she talked; she's such a cutie. Celestia (in my eyes) looked like she was being a troll again, which is nothing new. Seeing into Spitfire's mind was...kinda shocking...but, very intriguing; always did wonder what that pretty Wonderbolt thought and HOW she thought. Kinda reminds a person of Dash. But, I'm kinda confused at what was actually going on near the end. I don't know WHO was speaking those final lines (I'm guessing Spike and Twilight)...why was Spitfire getting something from Big Macintosh...WHO hired DJ PON-3? I suppose this will all be explained in a future chapter, so you don't have to explain. My guess is that Trollestia is orchestrating all this, as always.
As a whole, the chapter was great! Despite no Twilight and Fluttershy action, it was cool seeing Spitfire, Trollestia, Luna, and...well, just them. Great job; I've been anxious to see what you would come up with next, my intelligent friend. Hope life has been treating you well. Oh, and an early Merry Christmas to you...or, in Equestrian terms, Happy Hearth's Warming...or, as a few bronies say, Merry Celestmas!
God Dangit Luna. As if Twilight and Fluttershy wasn't bad enough. Augh my heart...
Lulz sounds like Trollestia is planning something...or would it be Molestia....Maybe it's regular ol' Celestia...I hope so for the ponies sake.
Also chapter update
81111 I think it is high time I stick a comedy tag on this story. When I started I was brushing the line but now it needs one.
81126 I love Luna's character.
81158 With 80 barrels of Mac's finest you know something is bound to happen.
81173 All the pieces are in place. Now all that is left is to see what happens...
81174 I agree with your suggestions. The letter she is referring to is Twilight's concerned citizen letter.
I wouldn't exactly call Celestia a troll. That implies malice, which is not her goal. Scheming? Conniving? Manipulative? Devious? Absolutely. But in the end her motives are pure. I don't know many ponies who would have gone to Twilight's original party. I would have, but that's her point.
The last lines were indeed spoken by Twilight and Spike. Spitfire was asked by Celestia to deliver the pouch of bits to Big Mac. As for DJ Pon3 all we know is that it was a pony with the money and connections to hire an exclusive DJ on short notice. And one with the pull to get the Canterlot Health Advisory to fumigate their building. A pony who is not afraid to use devious, tricky tactics.
Happy Hearth Warming (Merry Christmas)
81189 Just Celestia this time. She wants the party to be a hit. And is going to ensure it is all the while keeping her hooves out of it. Certainly she is not Molestia and I would argue she is not trollestia despite using conniving tactics.
Great Chapter, I enjoyed Celestia and Luna in this one, Celestia sounds and acts kinda like I expect she would in this situation so A+ for character portrayal .
I look forward to the next chapter, I feel a certain Doctor will make an appearance in the following chapters or a certain party pony that enjoys fine wine
Nice chapter. Love the humor. Though really, you would think Celestia would know better than to encourage EVERYONE to attend. Twilight doesn't seem the type to get into the big-crowd positive feedback loop for parties.
PAR-TAY!!!
Great story! Can't wait for the next part!
I can't wait to read more! This will be a PAAAARTY! Nothing can go wrong when a mould identification competition is planned :]
81265 Okay, cool; that cleared a few things up for me. It's somewhat easy to see now that I look back at it...but, your words always help. Thanks for that. So THAT'S what Celestia was doing. She was basically HELPING Twilight get party guests by basically tricking them there? That...that is...huh. I seriously do not know! It's both touching and evil at the same time!
heheheh.
This can only go right...
Yes! Luna, when written right, is bestpony!
WE MUST HAS MORE! MORE OF THE PRECIOUS... YEEEEEESSSSS!
Excellent
Trollestia for the win! Although she's not being mean... just very, very sneaky. =P
This one page of awesome brought a smile soo big on my face that it hurt.
Me am confuzed...
But yes I like you're story, this party was explained in a different mannor of your writing than I'm used to, that's why I'm confused... perhaps.
Quiet reading.
DJ P0N-3.
Somehow I do not see these two getting along quite as well as some ponies would like ...
IT'S THE 23'RD POST NEXT CHAPTER NOW
"Tranquility out." I see what you did there (at least I hope the reference was intentional).
you are late for the next chapter
Gotta say, I loved that slang from Luna. XD
Hoping to see the next chapter soon.
I'm speculating the picture Big Macintosh is carrying is of spitfire, which is why the princess sent her specifically to make the purchase. Dunno if he'll be able to follow his own advice however. It'll be fun finding out if I'm right!
All-You-Can-Titrate?...Awesome!