When the Sun Stops Shining

by TwilightDash12

Chapter 3 - Solitude and Sadness

Twilight opened her eyes. It was still dark outside. She still felt the comfort of Luna's soft, silky wing covering her like a blanket. But Twilight knew that she had to get home. Although she desired to stay, she knew she couldn't. Twilight used her magic to gently ease herself out from under the wing of Luna, hoping not to wake her. After leaving the comfort of Luna's wing, Twilight realized how cold it was. Luna's body had provided so much warmth for her, much like Celestia did when Twilight was younger and they would talk together. With this memory came pain, and Twilight pushed it away. Before she left, Twilight turned and read the engraving on the tombstone once more. It pained her more than ever to leave.

"Goodbye Celestia. Thank you for all the things you did for me." Twilight said to herself quietly before ascending into the skies above the cemetery.

As Twilight flew through the moonlit sky, she contemplated how much had gone on in only the past day. All was going well, she was going to have a relaxing time with her best friends and receive a much needed break from her duties as a princess, until that BUCKING letter came and ruined not only her day, but her life as well. All of this angered Twilight, causing her to fly faster and aggressively. She poured all of her anger into flying, causing her to speed through the air faster than ever before, and and angry look beset her usually cheerful face.

Twilight began talking to herself in hopes of clearing her mind. "Why didn't they tell me she was ill? I could have saved her myself...those stupid doctors probably just gave up on her...AGHHH! This whole mess was their fault! And Luna! Oh, don't get me started with her...trying to act all nice with me when she didn't even bother to notify the newly crowned princess and Celestia's prized student? Do I not matter? Obviously not! This whole princess thing was a joke, and it's done nothing but make my life worse!" She felt good getting all of the blaming thoughts out, and having somepony to direct her anger towards gave her more control over herself.

Still flying at her aggressive speed, Twilight began to see the small buildings of Ponyville appear out of the night in the distance. But she didn't care. In fact, she felt like she didn't even want to see her hometown or her friends again at all, but she proceeded despite her feelings and headed directly for the Golden Oaks Library. Twilight didn't even feel like continuing her tasks or dealing with any problems, troubles or conundrums that she as a good friend would be called upon to solve. She just wanted to be alone...alone with her books.

Twilight landed softly on the balcony of the library, making no noise. Twilight used her magic and cautiously trotted into her bedroom, where the lights were off, so Twilight assumed Spike had actually went to bed. Using the light from her horn, she slowly walked over the creaky floor to her bed. The comfort of the mattress and fluffy pillows gave the alicorn some much needed solace.

"Maybe some sleep will clear my mind" Twilight thought and put out her horn's light. She tried her best to push all the saddening thoughts away to get some sleep. Once her mind was clear, it was only a few moments before she felt darkness envelop her.

* * *

Twilight awoke to the sound of chirping birds and bright sunlight coming through her window. Looking outside, the sun was shining once again, and there was not a cloud in the sky. It was just like yesterday, a happy start to a saddening day. Twilight felt restless, only running on 3 hours of sleep, and getting out of bed was the last thing she wanted to do, knowing that with it would come mental and physical agony. But she knew that she had things she had to do, so she heaved herself out of bed and walked over to the mirror to fix her mane.

It was when Twilight looked into the mirror that she realized how bad she looked. She had bags underneath her eyes, and her mane was even more frazzled than the incident with her future self. Her cosmetic disaster made her feel even worse about starting the day. All she wanted to do was escape from her problems with a good book. Maybe a reread of "Predictions and Prophecies", or should she continue with "Bygone Griffons and Greatness"?.

"Well, I should probably make a checklist of all the things that I have to do today," Twilight spoke to herself, "where's that Spike...SPIKE!!"

"I'm downstairs Twilight!" She heard the dragon respond. Quickly rearranging the cosmetic items on her desk, she trotted down the stairs, almost unable to keep her balance. How would she be able to accomplish her daily duties if she couldn't even get down the stairs of her own house? "You're up earlier than usual." Spike greeted.

"Ugh...I didn't get much sleep last night Spike. My mind was all over the place." Twilight looked away from Spike, not wanting him to get concerned over her situation. He didn't know about the contents of the letter, and Twilight wanted to keep it that way. "Anyhow, I need you to make a checklist of all the things I have to do today."

"No problem," the dragon obliged as he fetched a paper and quill, "hopefully your mind clears up, because you're gonna need all the energy and mind-power to get all of these tasks done...boy are there a lot of 'em."

Twilight had been doing well to maintain her cool, but these words from Spike made her snap. She had done all she could to control her stress and emotions, but it was then that she realized she would never be able to escape them. She was a princess for the rest of her life, and Celestia was gone permanently. Thoughts of a future of sadness, depression, and stress came to her mind, and Twilight couldn't take any more of it. She had had enough.

"You know what!? Forget the list. I can't go on like this! I'll be sad and depressed all my life, and the important decisions I have to make will be affected. All of Equestria will suffer because of me! I can't perform my duties, I can't make decisions, and I surely can't rule beside Luna. I tried Spike, I truly did, but I can't do it. I wasn't ready for this."

And with these words Twilight galloped back up the stairs, isolating herself from the outside world. She climbed onto her bed and spawned a force-field to surround it. Sighing in relief to be free from the world, she levitated "Bygone Griffons and Greatness" over to her bed and began to read.

* * *

Spike had no response for what had just happened. Never had he seen Twilight act like this before. The only other time he could remember her in a state remotely close to right now was during the Starswirl spell incident, right before her coronation. But she got through it, remembering how important her friends were to her. But now, Spike feared, Twilight may not have the determination or motivation inside of her to overcome whatever problem she was having. Spike thought about going up and trying to help her, but he feared that his words would just make the situation worse.

"I guess I should just do my daily chores," Spike sighed. He grabbed the broom and began to sweep the floor when he heard a knock on the heavy oak door. He dropped the broom and jogged over to the door. Opening it, all of Twilight's friends were standing outside. "Hey everypony! What's up?"

"Good morning Spike!" Rarity greeted cheerfully, "is Twilight around? We haven't seen her for days and we're starting to get worried."

"Um, well..." Spike hesitated on giving an honest response, but remembered that these were Twilight's friends, and they could probably help her, "she's upstairs in her room."

"Thank you very much, dear," Rarity said gratefully, and Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Pinkie Pie entered the library with her and trotted up the stairs.

"But...wait! She hasn't been in the best of moods lately!" Spike tried to warn the ponies, but his words were drowned out as the friends happily conversed. Spike sighed and followed them. Reaching the top of the stairs, everypony was surrounding Twilight's bed, which was surrounded by a dark-purple force-field. Inside the magical bubble, Twilight was lying down with her head in her hooves and her back towards her friends.

"Twilight, sugarcube, are you ok in there?" Applejack inquired, her voice full with worry and concern.

"Yo, Twi, it's us!" Rainbow tapped on the force-field with her hoof, causing ripples to reverberate throughout the bubble. This alerted Twilight, and she turned to face her friends. She had tear lines all over her face, and she looked very tired. Suddenly undoing the force-field, Twilight spoke directly to her friends, a serious and strict tone in her voice.

"Go away, all of you. You can't help me right now. Go before I hurt you and make my problems worse than they already are."

Her friends just stood there, unable to believe what they had just heard. Twilight had never spoken to them like that before, and everypony felt hurt thinking about it. Fluttershy had already started to back away, but was pulled back by Rarity. Nopony spoke, intimidated by their friend's harsh tone.

The silence was broken by Applejack, "Twilight, whatever problem you are havin', I'm sure we could help you out...we're your friends and we want to help yo..."

"NO! YOU CANNOT HELP ME! THIS IS MY PROBLEM, AND YOU'RE ALL THAT I HAVE LEFT NOW! LEAVE ME IN SOLITUDE!" Twilight full-out shouted at her friends, who slowly backed away and trotted down the stairs. They were so in shock that they trotted right out the door. Something had happened to Twilight...something horrible, judging by her reaction to their offer for help. Standing together, the friends felt hurt. Twilight had always been there for them, and they tried to be there for her but were just...pushed aside...

This time it was Rarity who spoke first out of the group, "Come on girls, we should probably just let her be. I know it doesn't seem right, but it may be the best to just let her deal with it herself."

"I've never seen Twilight so sad or angry..." Pinkie Pie spoke up, her mane straight and limp.

"Neither have I...but this may be an important lesson for us all to learn," Applejack spoke to the group, "friends can't solve every problem that comes somepony's way, and sometimes it may be best to leave them to deal with it on their own."

There was a moment of awkward silence between the five ponies, which was broken by Rainbow Dash, "I think I'm gonna go home...I'll see you all later." Rainbow's voice was full of sadness as she flew away.

Everypony else decided to part with one another as well, each wanting some alone time to comprehend what could have happened to Twilight. Saying their goodbyes, AJ headed towards the farm, Fluttershy towards the cottage, Rarity towards the boutique, and Pinkie Pie towards Sugarcube Corner, each with looks of despair upon their once cheerful faces.

* * *

Several hours had passed since her friends had come and visited her, and Twilight had progressively felt worse and worse. She had been in bed all day, alternating between reading, crying, thinking, and sleeping. Turning towards her clock, Twilight realized how late it actually was - 8:00 p.m. It had been 6 hours since her friends arrived.

Maybe a walk outside would help clear my mind Twilight thought as she heaved herself out of bed walked outside into the starry night. She didn't know where she was going, but her mind was still in ruin, and finding a remedy for it was the goal.

Twilight slowly trotted through the empty streets of Ponyville, letting the fresh air seep into her body. The streets were mostly barren, aside from the occasional passerby. Twilight didn't greet them.

Twilight made her mind up to head to the small pond in the Everfree Forest and changed her course. Approaching the forest, a dense, thick fog descended from the sky, hiding the luscious, green ground from view. This wasn't a problem for Twilight - she knew the way by heart. After just a few minutes, Twilight approached the pond, nestled away in the brush. She sat down next to it, and tried to relax her mind. The clearing was completely silent, with one stray beam of moonlight breaching the fog and landing on Twilight.

Staring into the clear water, Twilight saw herself staring back at her, but the image quickly faded away into the water and revealed an image of a young, lavender filly standing in the middle of a room. After staring at a row of what looked like judges, the filly attempted to use magic to hatch a dragon egg.

Twilight knew what she was seeing. This was her final test of Magic Kindergarten, one of the happiest moments of her life.

Turning her attention back to the image, Twilight watched as her younger self blasted open the egg, hatching a monstrous dragon that pierced the ceiling and turning her parents and the judges into cacti. Celestia then came through the door, and said a few words Twilight could not make out. Her younger self bounced around, signifying the moment she knew too well. Twilight smiled, and eyes began to water as she remembered the caring, friendly, and approachable words. The image slowly faded away, and was replaced by one of Celestia and Twilight walking through her memories, and Celestia's mouth moving in song. Twilight remembered every single word Celestia said to her. The image once again faded away, and an image of Twilight's coronation appearing in its place. Twilight's mind was now full of her happy and sad memories of Celestia.

Twilight couldn't contain herself. She began to sob relentlessly, out of happiness, anger, frustration, helplessness and sadness. The tears slid down her face and into the water, causing the ripples to dissipate the images.

"Why did you have to go?!" Twilight spoke aloud, "My life feels empty without you! I..I LOVE YOU CELESTIA!!"

There was no way Twilight could go on like this. Her friends, her destiny, her character...all because of Celestia's love and care for Twilight. Celestia had built a special connection with Twilight over her years as her mentor, and they had become mother and daughter, sharing their feelings, troubles, and goals in life. Twilight recalled the silky feathers and warmth she felt as a filly when she would doze off under Celestia's wing, the stories they read, and the lessons they learned from each other, now knowing she could never do any of them again.

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