A Timber for a Wolf (Comment-driven)

by Solarkness

Drunk Escapade (Unedited)

Pentakill Apocalypse's Comment

Every single being inside the bar is now staring at you, causing you to chuckle halfhearted and shout: "I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM! NOTHING STRANGE GOING ON HERE!"

After you arrived at the toilet, you immediately take off your helmet to wash your face. After all, you have to look good if you want to get information, you think. After that, you take to the sky washing your paws.

Huh, I wonder what they wanted from me? Staring is not contaminous, after all! I guess I could just ask them, I mean, everyone I met so far has been kind of nice... besides that bitch at the convention...

You remember that you learned in Zebrafrica to wash your paws with soap, even though it makes no sense to you. You shrug the senselessness of it off, and press the soap dispenser. Instead of the viscous fluid flowing into your paws, bubbles start flowing out of the top.

You gasp as you pounce at it, remembering your pup-hood:

---

Flashback

*gro(Bubbles?)wl*, you asked Elder, *gro(What are bubbles?)wl*

Elder chuckled, before explaining: *gro(Bubbles are mythical, magical artifacts of FUN!)wl*

You cock your head in confusion, before wondering: *gro(But if they are artifacts, then they are too rare, so that I would never get one, right?)wl*

Elder simply chuckled again, before showing something he hid behind himself.

Later on, you would find out it was called a soap dispenser, and this one was defective so it only created bubbles.

*gro(Normally, yes, but this is an even rarer, more magical artifact! It is capable of creating the Bubble-artifact! And since bubbles don't last long, it actually is the only way of showing young pups like you how bubbles look like)wl*

Having said that, Elder pressed the soap dispenser, causing bubbles to fly out of it. You stare at them in awe, before trying to pounce at them and hold one in your paws. Once all bubbles were popped, Elder would create new ones.

You spent a whole day like that.

---

Back to the Future Present

You dance around the bubbles while giggling, somehow evading the notice of those in the bar. However, one stray bubble floats out to the bar.

"HEY! WHO. BLEW. THIS. BUBBLE!"

Startled, you put your helmet back on, and rush back into the bar. Everyone is lined up, with the Minotaur walking in front of them. You line up before anyone notices you having not lined up yet.

"WE ARE STARTING THE BABY HUNT NOW BOYS! HIT IT FITZGERALD!", the Minotaur yells to an old, but awesome looking yak. Said yak escaped your notice when you entered, and now spins a record onto the player. A song starts to play, and not just any song, but the song that is programmed into your genes, the song that shakes up your whole being, the song of your pack. It is also known as... the Goofy Goober song.

---

Flashback

*gro(We made a great catch today!)wl*, Elder proclaimed.

Everyone stomped the ground with their paws.

*gro(Such a great catch, that I have great news to share with you!)wl*

Everyone seemed excited, but you didn't know why. This was the first 'Great Catch' you ever had.

*gro(We are going to sing the song of our pack, the song that lead us to our current strength, the song that resonates within our whole being... the Goofy Goober song! Brought to us by our ancestors, we shall honor their memories and praise the great catch today!)wl*

After that, the flashback becomes blurred. You think you remember alcohol playing a part of it...

---

Present

Everyone around you shivers, and quietly chants: "I am not a baby...", making you wonder just how cold it actually is in the bar, and how important it is not to be a baby for the social standing.

Then again, your whole body is shaking from the resonance, and it takes all your willpower to keep your teeth clenched together, you even cracked your jaw slightly from it. Finally you cannot take it anymore, and take a deep breath to do what your ancestors tell you to: Sing the song.

But a moment before you would have started to sing, a pair of drunk ponies starts to sing it.

Ah, ponies. They always act like cute, little, innocent pups. And they have poisoned themselves with alcohol too, so it's expected. Well, bad for them, good for me.

The Minotaur marches in a military-style to the singer, before proclaiming: "Look what we have here, it's the babies!"

After that, he throws them into the next gryphon.

You watch as everyone but you, the innkeeper and a pony in a crimson robe starts beating the drunk ponies up.

As you stare, you feel... sorry for them.

Stupid ponies and their feelings, you think to yourself while taking out your sword. You crouch down before leaping high into the air towards the brawl. Somehow, you feel the need to shout out: "Steadfast Leap!"

---

The Abyss Knight
-*Hidden Perk revealed*

-Enables the wearer of The Abyss Knight to use the attacks of Knight Artorias

Knight Artorias came to stop this, but such a hero has nary a murmur of Dark.

---

After doing that, everyone gets thrown away, before jumping back in. You watch as the singers run out of the bar unnoticed. You smile, before realising that you are now in the middle of the brawl.

Oh, for Gaia's sake!

"CHARGING SLASH!", you cry out while quickly moving towards the door, and swinging your sword 360 degrees, most of which was during the second half of your 'charge'.

You open the door, and get outside. Just as you are about to wander around the town again, the non-dj-yak crashes in front of you, wearing a mask looking like a horse-y skull, most likely meant to disguise someone as a reaper.

That looks... awesome!

You look around if anyone sees you, before taking the mask. Unnoticed by you, the eye sockets glow briefly.

You hear the door creak open behind you, and as you turn around you catch a glimpse of crimson before your head split.

---

Thankfully, you wake up again, meaning your head fixed itself.

What, did you think your head was only feeling like it split? That's not how it works for Timberwolves.

Anyway, you are chained up, and all your stuff besides your armour was taken away. The room you are in only has one exit, which is positioned to your left. Across from you is a painting of spaghetti. The walls, ceiling and ground are made out of mossy stonebricks.

Skipping time until something happens

The door opens, and the pony in a crimson robe enters. You remember it from the bar, but now you see a blood-red crimson symbol of an arrow going through the sun on the robe. Now that you think about it, you remember reading that most of them had brown capes instead, considering they dressed like the Hooded Offender and the Crimson Knights simply added the symbol.

You watch, as it sits down in front of you, and puts all your other belongings next to itself.

Then, it turns to you, and says: "I am going to be honest: We need your help with something. I saw you fight at the bar, and..."

You laugh out loud, before asking: "Are you serious? If you truly need my help, then why did you chain me up? And kidnap me instead of asking?"

The pony opens its mouth, before turning to the still open door and probably asking someone you cannot see: "Why did we do that again?"

Someone replied: "I don't bucking know! It was your plan after all!"

...I'd say they are morons, but they are just plain old stupid. Jeez, do they really belong to the Crimson Knights?

"What do you need help with?", you are trying to get atleast a bit of useful information.

The Crimson-Robe turned back to you, before answering: "Right right, we need your help with a kind of cult that has been festering in Manehattan... Really bad people, brainwashing and sacrificing others. While I know we Crimson Knights do not have the best reputation..."

"Riiiight... So, about unchaining me, is that still something you are planning to do?"

"Uuups, sorry! My bad...", Crimson-Robe mutters while blushing.

What do you do?

Author's Note:

On Artorias Wiki-page, the attacks are described and shown, which is why I linked to it.
I looked up, and the Horde dressed up as the Offender, and he didn't wear a crimson cape.
Now, what we are going to do, is simple: We will get some insight about this branch of the Crimson Knights... and maybe some info on the cultists, who knows?
Now, another question: The Abyss, The Hell, The Exiled, The Triple Question or The Miscellaneous?
Just from the name, which should come after which?

Comments

[Baraka Obama]

well, alphabetical-wise, it would be The Abyss, the Exiled, the Hell, the Miscellaneous, then the Triple Question. but I'll be random and say, the Triple question, the Exiled, the Abyss, the Hell, and then the Miscellaneous.

Im gonna wait this one out until someone decides the write the next part, then I'll probably write from that