Dead Birds

by Stray Dog Kane

Your new best friend

5 days remain to doomsday.

Gilda had lost track of time again as hours went by alone. Pacing, pondering, re-reading the papers, and getting more coffee as time went by.

In her weaker moments, she would humor the idea of things being at least more engaging at Ponyville. At least until she remembered who lived there and what happened there, giving her a good chill to her spine and nerves. She at least hoped that this Fluttershy pony had meat on the menu.

Paper wise, she got a few more facts straight.

Apparently one of the princesses had been following her case, strangely enough. Also apparently after the “Incident in the north”, she’d been designated as some strange mental case. Aside from some gobbledygook involving questions about discrepancies and what to do about her, it didn’t make much sense they’d be so interested---at least to Gilda anyway.

Then again, she remembered getting into a bar fight up north, and part of that incident involved guard ponies showing up when that fight got crazy. At least that’s what she heard anyway. The rest was a blur, like the time she had green fae, right down to waking up with no idea how she got there.

Well, beyond blurry images she may well know aren’t real.

Package Deal must have gone ahead after said fight to go crazy in the woods. Even so, it was still awesome she was able to beat down some guards, even while drunk on goat ale and minotaur wine.

Strangely, from what she read, the nightmares she was having seemed to concern those royal ponies more. They even cited it more than a few times as an issue they were curious about.

“What is up with that?” Gilda wondered aloud. They weren’t fun for her either, that’s for sure, but the fact some royal pony had interest in it was a new thing to know.

The next part was about Dr. Fluttershy implying to a princess Twilight Sparkle that she had a way to help the griffon sealed the deal, making the recommendation and offer to care for her. This same Princess Twilight was the one who made the order for Gilda’s departure.

“What the heck?” Gilda muttered to herself as she read. “Don’t they have some ‘Yay, pony friendship good!’ celebration to attend or something? What do they got to do with me?”

Before she noticed it, it was morning outside and her ride was there asking if she was ready to go. After Soft Touch managed to snap Gilda to attention to that, she got her gear together and got going.

It was a ground carriage that was taking her away, with the unexpected part being how the minute she was out of the asylum building she was flanked by a pair of guard ponies. The look on them gave her the feeling they weren’t up for much humor. Plus, they looked pretty cold due to the weather.

But she figured, screw em.

“Aw, still grumpy you couldn't take on a griffon toe to hoof?” was Gilda’s comment, with a cud eating grin. The guard ponies didn’t even flinch at that.

“Uh, could you not make them mad, please?” was the carriage drivers quick comment back to her. The griffon shrugged and rolled her eyes.

After she got in, she noticed the guards were getting in as well. As they now sat across from her, she realized that this was going to be a long trip.

“Get us moving driver,” one guard commanded, and they were off with a fast gallop. Gilda wished she was flying, at least in a way to leave these thing behind.

The trip was quiet as they left the city, and seeing as she had no intention to dig herself deeper without some plan to dig herself out, Gilda kept to herself.

The guards didn’t have much to contribute either. Both looked on in a serious, no-nonsense way. So she looked out the window of the carriage. Not like a snowy road was any fun to look at, so she figured she’d just watch the skies for the trip.

“Don’t even think on running, miss,” the other guard stated in a clear voice as they left town. “You try slipping away and we'll drag you kicking and screaming back to a cell.”

“Charming,” Gilda said back, and trying not let them shock her. “Could you wait till I get a few drinks in?” she snarked. “I could make an awesome last stand then if that bar fight was any indication.” The guards narrowed their eyes in annoyance to her jabs. “Not that I remember it,” she chuckled. “The guys I fought must have sucked.”

The low grumble she heard from the other guard told her to stop, she wasn't going to blow this just yet. So she sighed and went back to ignoring them.

It was after awhile she noticed she was dozing off. With no coffee and unable to do anything but sit, she couldn't fight it off. Soon she slipped under it, her head slumping against the window.

This dream felt more vivid, if it was one. She was still in the carriage and it was still moving in the snow. Only their was one other passenger.

A white pony with a dark mane sat across from her, nuzzling into the unarmored belly of one of the guard ponies. At first she wondered what that wet sound was, then she realized that was chewing.

“Uh…” was Gilda’s first word on it. The white pony didn’t turn, but he did speak.

“In a moment sweetie, I just need a bit of num nums,” he said, and the pony resumed that chewing as the griffon gulped.

A cannibal dream was going to be a new one, or had she been there? Or was it her eating ponies, or the other way around? These dreams were always trying to get to her even if she couldn't remember them.

The new passenger then pulled his muzzle free with a refreshed “Ah”. Despite the wet chewing, the belly was bare of any marks, and despite even that the pony’s mouth was still bloody looking. Red fluids staining his muzzle as he smiled back to her.

She let out a groan as she put a claw on her forehead. Vampires, maybe? Even so, he looked delighted as his eyes looked at her with blue and white irises. At least her nightmare wasn’t bad enough yet.

“Morning!” the new pony said in a jovial manner. “How are things, hm?” Gilda didn’t answer him, but he kept going on. “Oh, don’t tell me, I know this.” He then looked ponderous, still with a smile on his red soaked lips.

“What the heck are you?” Gilda sighed, quite was tired of this. Sure, at least this nightmare didn’t seem so bad, just stupid.

Still, if she let it, some parts did seem uncanny. Like, despite the lack of gore, that one guard’s eyes were distant. Like they didn’t see or even feel anything, like as if they weren’t really there. The pair of them just sat there, blissfully unaware of the conversation next to them.

“Excuse me G, my card.” was the pony creatures answer, as he snapped Gilda out of her complacency. He grabbed the griffon, hoisting her up by her neck, and looking her right in the eye.

“I’m the Snark,” he said. “People want me, and I get to enjoy them too,” he added in that same jovial manner and a big smile as Gilda looked back with certain dread. “And your name? It’s... GILDA!” the sudden shout in her face caused her to wince.

He then dropped her just as abruptly, trotting back to his seat between the guards. Gilda let out a cough, and waited to see what the creep had in store next. However, he now just sat there.

She grumbled and groaned a bit as she got back to her seat. This was going to be a doozy now. Gilda shuddered, trying to anticipate what the Snark was going to do next.

“Ok…” Gilda said as tapped her talons for a moment, feeling more than a little nervous. That Snark’s smile was not helping. “And you are here for…?” She tried not to dread the answer.

“I’m on a business trip!” was the Snark’s gleeful answered with a hoof in the air. “Same place even, what are the odds, eh?” He laughed a bit, but then moved to an almost serious posture. “We’re going to be playing a game, little bird.” He flashed his teeth, back to a smile. Strangely without even a trace of red on them now. “You like games right?”

“And, uh, what kind of game is it?” Gilda asked, now wide eyed and tense. She wasn’t sure she was going to like where this was going, she just knew it.

“The one where, in the end, you get a prize!” the Snark pony said as he gestured to her with his hoof. Said hoof then broke away, now with him pointing a claw like shard in her direction. “A fun game where, you do a few things for me,” He shrugged, looking amused as he spoke. “Things you’d likely do for free, but for me regardless. And I can help you too!” he stated as his hoof reformed to normal.

“Help?” Gilda said, a bit surprised. She was curious at least. “Say, what?”

“I can help you Gilda,” the Snark said with enjoyment. “I can give you control. I can help you feel well, but only if you really want it,” he continued with a calm voice. “It’s just, I need to see if you can show me you can earn it.” He scratched his claw from his hoof across his face, still grinning as the griffon looked aside.

This was new for her, but even so she smelled a rat. For a moment, maybe Gilda might have humored the idea that she had a choice, but that thought didn’t last long.

“First, we need some ground rules,” the Snark added. With that she saw his claw glow, like some kind of spectral claws emerged from them, closing shut. Gilda then felt a painful jolt in her chest. Her heart, it had to be her heart. She was now clutching her chest, gasping for air.

“This,” the Snark said, with much less humor. “Is what happens if you tell anyone about me.” He must have let it go, because she no longer felt like crying out. The griffon looked down, trying to stop shaking as she breathed. “Just keep that beak shut, and we’re fine and dandy,” he laughed.

As the griffon tried to get her composure back, she noticed he was no longer with the guards. He was seated next to her, brushing a intact hoof across her trembling face gently. It felt soft and cool to her.

“And the second rule, is just to have fun,” the Snark said as he caressed her. “Easy!” With that last line his mood went back to gleeful, his cat like eyes shining with joy.

“Why?” Gilda uttered, being more sore than shocked. She took a few more breaths as the Snark put a foreleg around her. She was not liking this attention. “Why are you just messing with me for?” she whimpered.

“Because you sit there, a sad and angry bird, that no one will care for,” he said as he pointed to the guards, still in that trance and still not there. “Then, there’s me,” he said, tapping his chest. “A little something with a hoof on your shoulder, and a smile on my face.” the Snark said sincerely. “Am I not a good friend?” Gilda didn’t answer, she just gulped. “Oh don’t tell me, I can guess,” He cackled a bit more.

The griffon continued not answer, even looking away from the thing next to her. Any moment she’d wake up, with a chill in her system and a desire to never sleep again as usual.

It was creepy enough, as this “The Snark” character seemed intent on being all buddy buddy with her. Gilda was only called to attention when his soft form was nuzzling her neck. He was cold, but it also didn’t feel like skin. Too soft, but the chill felt inviting. She let out a yelp from that.

“Come, come now,” the Snark said with disappointment, waggling a hoof claw in front of her. “Don’t be sad and retreat into yourself, cowering in those denied tears,” he said sounding sympathetic. “Get even!” He then flicked a claw in the direction of the guard ponies, somehow hitting one in the nose. The guard responded with a look of panic, looking distressed.

Gilda was unsure how to react, beyond the fact she enjoyed to see that stuffy guard look so shaken for once. Now he was the person getting messed with instead of her. She had to admit, maybe this odd creep of a pony could be onto something.

“So, what the heck are you then?” Gilda asked, feeling no longer afraid. This Snark seemed alright to her now. “I mean, I can tell you’re some kind of weirdo.”

“Like I said, hoof on the shoulder.” the Snark said, his hoof going down her back and giving it a gentle pat. Now he was back to being creepy enough that the griffon wanted to slug him. Despite her baring her teeth and sharp beak, he smiled back. “And a smile on my face, little bird.” He wasn’t oblivious to her anger, he seemed to get off on it.

Still, she felt like he was on the level, or wanted to hope he was. It looked like he knew what she was about to ask.

“You already know you can rely on me, little bird,” he stated calmly as he lifted his hoof off. “I won’t abandon you.” He got up, letting her go and standing between her and the guards.
“When the chips are down, I’ll pop right in. You say the word,” He snapped his hoof, with a arc of something coming forth with power. “And I’ll be there, just for you.”

He looked back with that devious smile he kept having as Gilda blinked. “I’ll be in touch little bird, we got a lot to discuss in the next few days.” Before Gilda could give any response she was jolted up, awake in a panic.

Awake with a guard pony in her face.

“Hey!” the guard said, practically on top of her and jabbing her wing. He looked frustrated for some reason. “Were almost there, so get your things in order miss.”

Gilda got herself up, checked her bag, and let out another groan. While she was about to go back to sulking on her misery when she found she wasn’t the only one groaning now.

That one of the guard pony was holding his face, whimpering for a bit as he felt his hoof across his muzzle. He couldn't tell what hit him, but she knew. As far as Gilda could guess “The Snark” was real. She smiled for a bit, feeling a bit good something was on her side.

Or maybe she was sliding further down to crazy town?

“What’s next?” she mumbled to herself.