Twilight paced slowly across the floor in the Canterlot throne room, awaiting the arrival of the other princesses. She began to mutter to herself "I hope they're not delayed... what if something happened? What if someone tried to attack princess Cadence again? Or, what if--"
"Twilight, would ya calm down? You do this every time! You know they're probably alright." The voice that had spoken belonged to Spike, who was nonchalantly sitting on Celestia's throne, swinging his legs over the seat.
"Spike! Get off of there!" she said as she looked up at him, before responding to his statement. As he jumped down with a mild huff, she spoke up with a sigh. "...I know, Spike, I know. Sorry it's just, I get worried sometimes! Especially these days!"
"You can say that again!" Spike said, inspecting some of the crystals arrayed about the throne's base, wondering what they tasted like.
Twilight was about to call him out again, but was interrupted by the door opening, and the princesses, with a few other leaders, walking in. They were escorted by guards, each wearing different armor. Celestia's in gold, Luna's in greyish black, Cadence's in light blue, and other guards in colors from their respective city-states.
"Twilight, I'm glad to see you're here early," Celestia stated, as they each bowed respectfully to one another. The leaders all positioned themselves in a circle as the guards shut the doors carefully, standing alert and at attention. Spike, realizing all of the eyes on him, also stood at attention for a moment, but still cast the occasional glance towards the crystals.
"Alright, Is everyone here?" Celestia began, Looking about. This was the more informal call to attendance for these sort of meetings, and one by one, each leader spoke up in the circle.
"Princess Cadence representing the Crystal Empire," Cadence said to start it off.
"Princess Luna, representing the Reclaimed Everfree Lands."
"Princess Twilight, representing Ponyville."
"Acting Commander Typhoon, representing Cloudsdale."
"Sheriff Silverstar of Appleoosa."
"And Princess Celestia of Canterlot," Celestia finished, nodding.
"Now that everyone is present, we should begin with the state of affairs. As you know, this, the 4th meeting of Equestria in Distress, marks exactly one year since the Canterlot mountain incident." Twilight bit her lip lightly as she looked to her former mentor, who continued on without notice. "That said, it has been just under a year since the Trident's attempted coup of the land. Although we have defended our respective territories, have since regained Cloudsdale, and destroyed their operating base in the Everfree, there are still many areas they control. Does anyone have any news to add?" She opened the floor to whoever wished to speak, looking around the room slowly.
Typhoon spoke first, stepping into the circle. "Maretonia couldn't make the meeting, but they have recently requested our aid. We in Cloudsdale sent word that we are currently engaged in a campaign against Trident-held Las Pegasus, but we agreed to send a few arial units their way in the meantime."
Luna spoke next, a grave look on her face. "We regret to inform this gathering that Saddle Arabia has recently fallen under Trident control. We have heard that... HE was leading the charge again," she said in a reserved tone.
"Flak..." Twilight muttered, wincing as if in pain at the thought. If I had only known his plans... I never would have let him escape... Celestia noticed her distraught look, and subtly nudged her comfortingly with her wing.
"It's Las Pegasus all over again!" Typhoon muttered, looking at the floor. "That Flak guy seems to be the only reason they're gaining territory... bah, I'll have to bring him up in the strategy meeting later..."
It was Twilight's turn, and hopefully this news would lighten the mood a bit. "I recently sent an envoy to Manehattan, the Trident's makeshift 'captial'. Governor Smooth Talker has agreed to attempt a peace treaty between Royal Equestria and Trident Equestria."
"We can't let them do that! We know that they'll use that time to train up elite troops! It's bad enough with those agent squads of theirs, do you really want to face a whole army of those guys?" Typhoon protested, slamming her hoof on the ground.
Celestia stood calmly for a moment, and the pegasus commander fell silent. "Typhoon, remember that we took their primary training facility when they failed to take Canterlot from within. And the technology the Royal Engineering Corps took from their labs has put us on par with them, except we have the resources to mass produce the pieces. They don't own too many resource territories." Celestia rarely spoke very much in these meetings, aside from the formal parts and the Canterlot reports, so when she did, as now, they all listened. Her conclusion statement had their full attention. "In a battle of time, we have the advantage."
"It's fair to note that we are not fighting the real Trident anyway," Cadence chimed in. "We are fighting remnants led by a fractured Council. after Reach's disappearance, they apparently had no succession plan, and without validation of life or death, the council still acts as if he is the head, but merely not present. They are not the ruthlessly efficient machine that ran Equestria anymore. They are a creature of the shadows that has been forced into the harsh daylight, and they're thrashing around just like any scared, violent creature." Cadence always did have a way of grabbing the attention of others when she wanted it, with her excellent tone control and soft, subtle gestures.
Typhoon quieted down for a moment, allowing the others to speak.
The Sheriff cleared his throat and stepped forward. It was clear that formality was not his particular forte, but he was a respected leader, so no one felt the need to criticize him as he spoke. "We just finished up a deal with the Buffaloes. If we ever need their brute strength protectin' our town, we've got it." It was short and simple, yet effective. He went and sat down nearly as quickly as he had stood up.
"Alright, with that, does anyone have any internal reports, good or bad?" Celestia asked, moving the meeting along. Spike, who had been trying to stand at attention this whole time, subtly moved over to Twilight's side and sat down, poorly concealing a yellow crystal shard under his arm.
"The Pegasus emergency military command initiative has ensured that the initial crime spike a few months ago has ended entirely. Otherwise, more and more families are helping out in the war effort," Typhoon explained with pride.
"Crime is still hard to control, but Shining has been increasing patrols on the streets of the Empire. Also, the people's warrior history has led them to be more than willing to enlist in the cause, be they guards or reservists," Cadence stated formally.
"Here in Canterlot, I have personally been randomly doing sweeps with some of the guards. The crime spike seemed to level off after that, although the prisions are fuller than ever," Celestia explained calmly.
"A-are they talking about me? Whatever I did was an accident, I promise!" Spike whispered to Twilight, earning a light chuckle.
"You're fine Spike," she said quietly as the leaders wrapped up their reports.
"Now, has all been covered for now? Any questions? Good. The strategy meeting will be at noon as usual, and in the meantime, your rooms have been prepared for you here in the castle," Celestia announced, indicating the end of the initial overview. As everyone stood, bowed, and left with their guards, Twilight and Cadence stayed behind.
"You okay, Twi?" Cadence asked, wrapping a wing around her back, as Spike snuck away back to the throne itself.
"This is all my fault..." the princess muttered quietly, slinking down.
Cadence sighed, pulling her a little closer with a wing. "Twi, I want you to listen okay? You heard in that meeting. We're getting the new crime under control, and you may have found peace with the Trident remnants! Things are slowly getting better Twilight, and they will continue to get better! You made a choice you thought was right," she explained gently, soothingly.
"But... even you told me to just take over the Trident! I never expected things to get this... violent..."
"Oh Twilight... I said that because I was afraid we couldn't keep Equestria going without it... but just look at us! Look at you! We're running Equestria just fine, and we're getting better. You heard back in the meeting, the Trident is confused and out of their element. With their council disjointed and most of their old bases gone, coming out in public to save themselves in a last-ditched effort will prove to eventually be their undoing. I back up your decision 100%!"
Her words were comforting to the princess, who looked up slowly, considering her words. "You really think so?" she asked sincerely.
"Of course I do! Ponies are finally free of restrictions of any kind, all thanks to you. They just have to get on their feet after being chained down for so long," Cadence explained, using the metaphor to show Twilight it would all be okay in the long run.
The princess felt better after hearing it, and, after thanking Cadence, called out to Spike.
"Mm--huh?" the dragon questioned through a mouthful of yellow crystal. He swallowed quickly and waved his arms. "I only took a piece, that's all!"
Twilight chuckled a bit at his antics. "Come on Spike. We should head to the room, I have a few papers to prepare for the meeting," she said, gesturing for him to hop on her back.
She thanked Cadence once again and walked out into the hall, a new air of confidence about her, an extra determined look in her eye. Twilight had learned the hard way that freedom wasn't without concequences, but, in the long run, she had done the right thing, she thought.
Equestria was free thanks to her, and by her efforts, no one would ever again be enslaved by Brands, chained down by a dark organization. In the end, Twilight felt that it was better to be free, than to be Marked.
I started with this choice first. Glad to see that even though it was difficult in the beginning they are looking toward a brighter future!
Edit: after reading all the endings this is by far the best! I view this as the true golden ending!
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Oh good, someone else here has read it.
Too bad nobody mentioned Cupcakes
This is still the best ending because they are working harder to achieve peace and unity as well they are no longer enslaved by there marks everything goes rough at first but in the end this will make them stronger then before
"Only courage in the face of doubt can lead one to the answer"
"In the face of disaster lies opportunity for renewal"
[A free cookie to those who get those references]
Well, same thing applies as last time, I guess... Glad to see you managed to finish this story and it was a fun read, I'm looking forward to your next one. The multiple endings just kinda suck the enjoyment out of it for me, though. I don't think that was a good idea.
I just realized that somebody basically wrote a whole novel on this website in a year.
My initial reaction:
When I actually started to read it though:
Basically, I've never quite seen so much work put into a fanfic like this. Somebody's definitely commited.
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Heh, thanks!
Interestingly enough, Marked is something of a Prototype for a real novel I want to write at some point. However, going into writing blind would have been foolish, so I thought "why not write a fan fiction?" My good friends 8542Madness and ShinyGiratinaz both did writing here, so I thought I'd give FiMFic a go! Thanks to Marked, I know better how to edit, correct grammar, space out my time, and stuff like that. In the end, it was all worth it!
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I'm sorry to hear your disappointment with the ending format, but I'd like a chance to say a bit on why I did it.
Throughout the story, it was all my design, my interpretation of what Twilight would do. However, I knew that, as the readers read on, they would have different interpretations of the information presented, and would form their own opinions. That is what I wanted: I wanted the audience to really think, to HOLD those opinions. The "three endings" choice was NOT spur of the moment. I had it in the works LONG before I even got close to writing them. I purposely built in story evidences that could be used to justify any of the choices, and at the end of it all, the reader finally got a chance to interact with the story, rather than just watch it unfold. The Natural Flow was designed to branch off, like a river branching into three smaller streams.
So, I created three endings, each with their own pros and cons, each justfiable... or refutable. And It was never meant to be a "roll of the dice", but a careful choice made by the audiece member. The whole story conveyed evidence, facts, information... but it was up to the individual to decide what to do with the info.
I realize it may not be the most satisfying, and despite this long post, I'm glad you gave me feedback on how the end format made you feel. It helps me to improve as a writer, and it shows you were engaged as a reader enough to warrent leaving a constructive criticism.
All that said, thanks so much for reading, and I hope that helped clear up what I meant to do!
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Smart, I really like your way of thinking!
That also seems to explain why you only have the one story on your account, unlike almost everybody else. However, not only did you learn something from this, and plan your own (possibly to-be-published) novel with this, but you also gave us all something to enjoy until then!
So, in a way (accidental or not) we all got something out of this. Funny how life works this way.
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I mean, I wanted everyone to get something out of it for sure, it's just the desire to learn first and foremost. The whole "giving it a shot" factor. Glad I managed to make it something enjoyable! I'll most likely be sticking around the site, though I'm still sorting through new Fic ideas.
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It's nice to know you'll still be sticking around, I wonder what ideas you could possibly have in store. It does seem like everybody got something out of this. And as for the whole "giving it a shot" factor, it looks to me like you had a dead aim.
Hnnng, that was pretty damn great!
I didn't like the multiple endings, it felt a bit of a cop-out where the writer couldn't decide what to go with. It delutes any kind of lasting impact on the reader (me).
Here's my choice I would have Twilight make (since we're on the subject of choosing your own ending):
Capture Reach but fake his death and lock him away in a super super secret place (to complete the plans laid out by Maker without actually killing anyone), dismantle the organization and document everything. Then publish it all so the citizens of Equestria know what was done to them (equivalent to the Snowden leaks, except it wouldn't be a leak since the state would do it). Let the people of Equestria decide what should happen with their Cutie Marks. Twilight Sparkle at some points need to say the words "That's not my decision to make" in response to what should happen to the Cutie Mark machine.
I found this story a few hours ago in the feature box btw. Glad I found it at what looks at the exact right time :)
Possible spoilers for the ending.
I feel option c was the best she could make at the time but it threw out the good with the bad. By good I mean the direction and guidance Cutie Marks gave ponies. Maybe after the war she can reconstruct the machine in something like a job placement service. For example foals get appointment like in ending b and get a picture with what thier cutie mark would've been. There could even be a sub-culture who get thier "cutie mark" as tattoos.
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I'm going to disagree. In my mind Option C was the worst possible option to take, and has the potential to have torn the country apart completely.
1) It had been mentioned that trade between Equestria and other countries was starting to peter off, so the economy was likely starting to down turn already. Probably not too worrying, however...
2) With the loss of Cutiemarks, they'd have lost a massive amount of their workers efficiency and skill. Imagine any human country today with every single worker suddenly losing most of their ability in their field, and their interest in doing it. Not pretty.
3) Mass loss of self, of culture and mental instability. Equestrian held their idea of self and self worth very closely with their Cutiemark, and was a massive part of their culture. Suddenly losing those pillars of self and their culture would be a massive blow. Add that to newly rising negative thoughts now that the Cutiemark isn't helping to suppress them, you're going to end up with a unbelievable pandemic of depression and other mental issues. And less people caring to help those people.
4) If the first three weren't bad enough together, Equestrians are suddenly experiencing much, much more violent thoughts and feelings than they ever have before in their life. I think this one speaks for itself.
5) Riots. People aren't going to be happy about this. They're going to be plum mad. Those marks were important to the majority of the population, the economy is suddenly in the shitter, and you can imagine that without the suppression effect, they're going to be heard! Probably by throwing a brick through a store window.
Poor Workers + Poor Economy + Loss of Culture and Self + Increased Violence and Negative Thoughts = Powderkeg just waiting for the smallest flame.
7265495 so mind control for the greater good?
With ending B how long will take for the unbranded to dominate the branded? How long until some nation destorys the now open secrect of the branding machine in the middle of a war and all of Equestria's soldiers lose thier cutie marks? Ending B is already unstable it is a matter of time before it becomes a even less controlled version of ending C.
And ending A we replaced one secret organization with another or more exactly replacing the top brass of the already existing secret organization. A secret organization that brainwashing everypony in Equestria leaving every pony unable to truly understand every being that isn't a pony.
Were their better options maybe. But Twilight couldn't choose them at the moment she had to choose. The best option would have been similar to ending B leading to more controlled version of ending C.
The world in ending C isn't perfect but they can work throught the trouble and come out better on the other side.
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In A, Twilight forces her will on the population for the greater good, but the country remains stable
In B, Twilight allows the population to chose, and the country remains stable.
In C, Twilight forces her will on the population for the greater good and the country falls to pieces.
C is no better than A, as it's still Twilight pushing her ideals on the population for the 'Greater Good!'. The only reasonable action was B.
Probably never, so long as the knowledge of Branding and how it works isn't lost to time like it did before.
If anything, it would be the opposite.
Branded are extremely hard workers, and extremely skilled, and would be considered pretty trust worthy. Very high demand in absolutely everything in life. Workers, employers, leadership, relationships, ect.
Unbranded are only middling workers and would be relatively unskilled, and will be under suspicion and more prone to violence and mental instability. Not exactly desired traits to have for anything.
And if you're thinking about the unbranded agents and Sombra, I'm pretty sure they weren't powerful because they were unbranded. They were powerful because they were Tridant agents using the best of the best tech/magic available, being free to be as violent as they wanted without the brand, and that the knowledge of branding was hidden.
You can't come out better if it's already burnt to the ground. As I said, my view of what would have happened for C was the complete collapse of civilized society.
7265656 part of my point is ending B isn't stable either. Now the secrect of branding is out It is a matter of time before the brander is destroyed. In ending C the damage is already done the brander is gone.
Non-pony foreign powers will want to destroy it because thier people can't compete with branded ponies. The main thing stopping them is it would be an act of war. So when are they likely to target the brander? when they or somebody else is at war with Equestria or do not fear soon to be unbranded troops. Hello even more uncontrolled version of ending C with Equestria dealing with a crime wave in the middle of a war (with an enemy they may not be able to wait out).
The flip side the ending B coin is the ponies are still oppressed and will continue to be oppressed until somepony like Starlight Glimmer stands up and tries to lead up out of their oppressed brainwashed state, most likely by, guess, targeting the brander. Hello ending C.
My point about the unbranded ruling over the branded wasn't about power but thought. The branded are brained washed to nonviolent (we all saw how well the Royal guard did against the changelings) the unbranded aren't similarly restricted. And as you pointed out they will be oppressed and what do oppressed people do, they band together. So you have group that can think about violent solutions vs. a group that can't (who the first group blame for their situation). And what will one the unbranded's targets be, the brander, again hello ending C.
And that not counting the class warfare of those who can't afford to go to the brander and choose their own cutie mark and those that can.
Ending B is not stable, the races that can't get brands will want to destroy the brander, the branded who later realize thier 'mistake' will want to destroy the brander, the unbranded will want to destroy the brander. It would be better to destroy the brander and get the damage over with. Country's survive civil wars, they may not survive upheavals that happen when a foreign power or zealot decides. The way ending B is going they be lucky to get the Cold War of ending C. (To be fair in ending B Twilight could decide to phase out cutie marks but doesn't show any sign of doing that).
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I personally still find ending C the best of all the options even with your rebuttal and you do bring up some good points But in my view
to sacrifice your self for stability is wrong. So on this we will have to agree to disagree
You know, it didn't actually say that Twilight lost her mark. In fact, the whole machine was there to give ponies marks, but once Branded why would they stop being that way? It could have used a scene in which Twilight gets hers removed, or at least notices that it disappeared for... reasons. Or do they all still have them, and the foals without just never acquire them? Oh I bet a certain three fillies are going to be absolutely thrilled to hear about that.
7399412 If you pay attention throughout the story, the Brander is only activated when it sends a new mark out, and if a mark is removed from one whom already recieved one, the victim will suffer from complete mental supression, similar to the Starlight Glimmer episode. This points out that once the marks leave the machine and conjoin with a pony, they become completely independant of it and removing them can have some serious side effects similarly to going from five packs a day to cold turkey, only with mental supression instead of massive cravings.
Did I make sense, at all?
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Sorry if I'm not paying enough attention to understand your wisdom. I didn't see where they stated that "they become completely independant of it" and when they talked of the rising crime, I didn't see where they said it was all foals committing all this crime, since adults outside Trident would remain branded according to you. I guess when Cadance said "Ponies are finally free of restrictions of any kind, all thanks to you," it should have been obvious that she was talking about ponies, not about ponies. I can be pretty unobservant sometimes.
freedom and truth are the most important things, this is the best ending
After reading the other choices for confirmation, i agree with myself that this is the best outcome